Hawkfrost is Alive and Insane
Chapter 1
Brambleclaw: Eat up Jaypaw. It's yummy for your tummy!!
Jaypaw: You're such a dog.
Brambleclaw: Now I won't have you using that kind of language.
Jaypaw: All the other apprentices do! And you let Hollypaw and Lionpaw!
Brambleclaw: That's because they aren't blind.
A strange cat jumps out of the bushes.
???: HELLO!!!!!! DID YA MISS ME!?
Jaypaw: Who the fox are you?
Brambleclaw: Language.
The strange cat looks at Jaypaw.
???: I AM THE COOLEST CAT!
Brambleclaw: Well excuse me. That is already taken.
???: OH YEAH! AT LEAST I HAVE MORE COURAGE THEN A MOUSE!! HAHAHAHA!
Jaypaw: You're crazy!
???: IF I AM YOU MUST HAVE SOME CRAZY IN YOU!
Jaypaw looks at the strange cat with a puzzled look on his face.
???: YOU STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT??
Brambleclaw: Figured what out?
???: IM HAWKFROST JAYPAWS DEAD HALF-UNCLE! Why did you kill me Brambleclaw? Your own brother. Cries. It hurts to die. ESPECIALY WHEN THERE IS A KIWI GUN INVOLVED!!
Brambleclaw: You knew about that?
Jaypaw: What the mouse is a kiwi gun?
Brambleclaw: LANGUAGE!!! Gets out kiwi gun. UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE! ONE MORE BAD WORD AND YOUR DEAD!
Hawkfrost: Can I say bad words?
Brambleclaw: Yes.
Jaypaw: WHAT THE MOUSE? JUST BECAUSE IM MOUSING BLIND I CAN'T MOUSING SWEAR?
Brambleclaw: THAT'S IT! YOUR GONNA DIE! Shoots Jaypaw. Oh mouse. Where am I going to put his body?
Hawkfrost: What about young Lionpaw and Hollypaw. I'm sure they would enjoy some cat meat. Squirrelflight would enjoy it too.
Brambleclaw: SQUIRRELFLIGHT, HOLLYPAW, LIONPAW! COME HERE!
Hollypaw: What is it dad?
Lionpaw: Who's that?
Squirrelflight: What happened to Jaypaw?
Brambleclaw: Kids, this is your half uncle Hawkfrost. I killed Jaypaw with my kiwi gone because he was swearing and he annoyed me. And I called you here to try some cat meat.
Everyone starts eating.
Lionpaw: That was yummy!
Hawkfrost: HAHAHA!! RUBBER DUCKY!!! HAHAHAHAHA! FLOWERS!!! GRASS!!! TREE! ROCK FLYING TOWARDS ME!! HAHAHAH-
???: Brambleclaw, what have you done? Why is Hawkfrost alive? Where is Jaypaw?
Brambleclaw: Well, Hawkfrost came out of nowhere. I haven't done much. How about you? And Jaypaw is yummy in our tummies.
???: WHAT THE MOUSE?? HOW COULD YOU BETRAY YOUR LEADER?
Brambleclaw: What did I do? Burp
Firestar: You didn't ask me if I wanted any.
Hawkfrost: Hey Squirrelflight. How's a going? Want to have an affair.
Squirrelflight: Ew no. I'm not having an affair with a dead cat.
Hawkfrost: What about you Hollypaw?
Hollypaw: Maybe after I'm a warrior.
Firestar: cough. She kills Ashfur then gets banished into tunnels and dies. I didn't say anything.
Hawkfrost: I got an idea.
Hollypaw: AHHHHHHHH!
Brambleclaw: Do you want some Firestar?
Firestar: Yes.
Hawkfrost: Do you have any peppers or graded fox?
Firestar: Yes.
Squirrelflight: WTF! I'm surrounded by IDIOTS!!
Brambleclaw: Do you want to go there?
Squirrelflight: No…
Lionpaw: THEN SHUT UP!
???: What's going on? HAWKFROST IS THAT YOU?
Hawkfrost: Nooooo……………..
???: I was hoping it was. I miss him. Hey guys… What happened to Jaypaw and Hollypaw?
Brambleclaw: Tawnypelt, what are you doing here?
Tawnypelt: I was bored. Can I have some mice?
Hawkfrost: No.
Squirrelflight: Of course you can.
Hawkfrost: Fine. Then I can ask this. Tawnypelt, want to have an affair with me?