When Life Gives You Lemonade... You shut up and write smut. While drinking your ready-made fizzy lemon juice.
I had a craving to write, and I told my friend that I was going to randomly write her a fanfiction over skype. So I did. xD.
While writing this, I could not help but think of the Criminologist from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. ...So, think of that as the tone of voice to read this with :3!
Have fun reading! xx
Now, anyone would advise you to refrain yourself from asking how this happened, though Arthur in particularly would be very adamant in denying you the right to question it. Needless to say, it did, and they had a very good time of it indeed. When Francis Bonnefoy strolled into Arthur Kirkland's office one Friday evening, around about 10 fifteen o'clock, with a nonchalantly arrogant expression on his face - the Brit certainly did not expect what was about to happen. Even as he told the other - not-so-politely - to bugger off back to his own country, racism being a non-existent subject between the actual countries themselves... he did not realise quite the impact that the other's words would cause on his otherwise quite bitter heart.
The words, reportedly, knocked the porcelain cup of tea straight out of the Englishman's hands. Accounts afterwards from the two would suggest that he was frozen to the spot, even as the tea spilt and soaked into the soles of his shoes and covered the important documents on his desk with their wet substance - quite unnerved by what was said. Neither of the aforementioned would admit what was mentioned, specifically, but from there, the situation went a little like thus;
Francis Bonnefoy - a French connoisseur, and none too surprisingly from the very truth of his existence - sailed to the curtains and drew them shut immediately. Arthur's records state that the man knew that something was entirely wrong from the very moment that his drapes were manhandled and the room plunged into darkness - his heart rocketing up and down in his chest like a stallion's hooves hammering the ground in retreat. Or charge, for that matter. Whether the feelings suddenly washing over him were the thrill of consent or not was undisclosed.
A look, shooting from the Frenchman of whom was grinning like, quote, 'a cat that had gotten the cream' to the doorway revealed to the exasperated Englishman that there was no escape from the office that trapped the two of them together in close quart. The door had been quite obviously locked, key from the lock itself having been seemingly abducted by the only other occupant of said room. The atmosphere was tense, dirtied with intended friction between Arthur and his playmate. Nobody, also, was in the parliamentary building that late at night apart from the cleaning staff - and to protect the identity of the English nation, the duty of cleaning his office was purely contributed to his secretary - a one W. Bartholomew, and curious character in himself.
Of course, Arthur later commented that he was conflicted on whether the imminent impossibility for escape was to contribute more to his fear, or apparent arousal.
The actions afterwards were something of controversy between the two and their records. While the Frenchman reported that he merely encouraged the younger Arthur out of his seat and laid him across the desk in one swift, loving motion - the Englishman was certain in stating that he was ripped from his seat and thrown straight onto the desk with all the loving qualities of a ruthless animal. A lot could be said about the pair's 'sexual tensions', namely from fellow accomplices of their kind (a Mr. Alfred 'F' Jones gave substantial evidence to support this potential fact) and while the actions themselves were in dispute; Arthur Kirkland's explanation might have been harbouring more accuracy.
With objects jabbing into his back, from pencils to the stapler and a photo of a child remarkably resembling Arthur himself (it must, at this point, be noted that Francis Bonnefoy and this child - as well as the Englishman - share a few curious similarities, such as their eye colour) - Arthur shouted out. Whether this was a flurry of harsh words or a bitten back moan, neither cared to elaborate in detail. From there, the Frenchman proceeded to hold him down and started to relieve the Briton from his shirt. Once again, whether this was because Arthur was in attempts to escape or because he was arching up against his dominator was not mentioned by either party.
From here, the records merged back into rhythm with one another again. Both told of how Arthur quickly found himself regrettably aroused by his rough treatment, hardened by the fingers almost tearing his clothing off for their sexual misadventures. A very embarrassed - by the state of his reddened face - Mr. Kirkland told us that he was prone to arousal from imagining non-consensual situations, and that his non-controversial rape kink was getting to the better of him. He spoke vaguely of past experiences, though no actual details were added, and we assume that the Briton had engaged in similar activities in the past; at least in a dubiously-consensual light. How he managed to salvage some pleasure in past experiences are beyond us, although a mild case of Stockholm Syndrome is suspected.
Francis soon liberated Arthur Kirkland fully of his clothing, all while maintaining a completely encumbered situation in his own case, and proceeded to pry the smaller bodied man's legs apart. He forced himself in-between those spread legs, and busied his hands in tearing strips of fabric out of the Englishman's clothes. It was mentioned to us how difficult he found it to tear the fabric apart, and similarly Arthur distressed how much he paid for said fabric. He later added that Francis, 'the loose bastard', was to pay for it 'if he ever got his hands on him'. We assume from the angered voice Arthur spoke in that this future interaction between them was not to be sexual, although several investigators would highly beg to differ. Either way, intervention to avoid injury may be recommended.
With the torn strips, he gagged the Englishman - quote Francis; 'To stop the rosbif from ruining the moment with his snappish mouth' - and tied his arms together. It must be noted that Arthur's hands were tied over the top of his head, back arched slightly and with his arms forced together; his bonds being wrapped around him from the very tip of his wrists to his elbows tightly to restrain as much physical movement as possible - quote Francis once more; 'Because you need to tie him up or he tries to take love-making too quickly. He would skip the foreplay altogether and ram me straight in if he could, impatient boy'.
We also believe that Francis might have been acting on the Briton's rape kink, although it is more likely that the Frenchman simply enjoys the intervention of bondage. Not only this, but he mentions very specifically - several times in his personal statement - that he was the sort of loving man that likes to take things slowly, to ease his lovers into 'crav(ing) (his) cock until they beg with their entire body in heat'.
Sufficiently bound, all Arthur said he could do was flex his legs and sway his body upwards - as well as watch, wide-eyed, as the Frenchman began to smooth his hands over the more sensitive of his skin. The inner thighs were exaggerated to be a vulnerable spot, and a more enthused and potentially mocking Francis said that; '(Arthur) enjoyed his thighs getting fondled so much that his member was so wet that (they) barely needed lubrication for (their) sex'. This was not denied by the Englishman.
Afterwards, Francis said that he took the wet substances from the Brit's leaking member and dropped his fingers down into the crevice of Mr. Kirkland's spread cheeks, rubbing the liquid around his aching hole in particular. The moans that Arthur exerted were rather comprehensively denied. Francis described the feeling as he ran his fingers against Arthur's entrance as an entirely sexually arousing experience in itself, from the way that the muscles were said to jerk in want around the pads as they teased and wet the area.
In a flurried embarrassment, Arthur refused to comment on what happened immediately after until further into their sexual escapade - though from what Francis Bonnefoy gave us, we can quite accurately piece together the next occurrence.
Francis, after limbering up the Arthur's entrance with his own pre-cum, dropped down to his knees; leant the Englishman against the very edge of the desk with his legs still apart and held over the top of the Frenchman's shoulders, and dipped his tongue inside of his impromptu lover. He claims that this action was almost enough to coax Arthur into orgasm in itself, and so he wrapped the base of the Briton's member with the aforementioned's tie as a makeshift cock-ring to stop this from occurring. Whether Mr. Kirkland is highly susceptible to early orgasms, or whether the sexual act of rimming is among his more secretive kinks, Arthur would not disclose.
With the other even more bound than before, Francis proceeded to delve his tongue into him with some lingering consistency and force. Moaning and non-verbal begging were reported by a very proud looking Mr. Bonnefoy, and he explained how he took this as evidence enough of their foreplay being ready to progress to the next stage. He sucked his own fingers to coat them with liberal amounts of saliva, and positioned them at the Englishman's entrance by pressing them all together in a beak-like formation. Arthur, seeming comfortable enough to digress on this stage of the events forwards, commented that Francis pushed in to the first knuckle of his hand simultaneously - and that 'the (French nation) enjoy(ed) being voyeur to his own body part opening (him) up far, far too much'.
Saliva, and no doubt the salty taste of pre-cum, being the only lubricance, it was no surprise that the Frenchman delved only one finger in at once from then forwards. It is another point of controversy on how experienced Arthur is with sexual encounters, particularly of the anal kind, but they both mentioned how long Francis took fingering the Englishman underneath him. 'Excruciating' was a word used by both party to describe the event. It is fair for us to assume this event lasted for over five minutes in itself, preparing Arthur liberally and teasing his entrance with intrusion. Francis said that he was specifically avoiding touching Arthur's prostate, wanting to have Arthur gagging for more, and Arthur himself was very seemingly annoyed with this fact.
Now, neither of them mentioned how or when Francis undressed, but the Briton explained just how shocked he was to discover that his partner was equally naked soon after. He then was bent over double with the front of his legs pressed right up to his chest, and his knees pinned to the desk. Arthur did grumble about how uncomfortable the position felt, though did not linger too comprehensively on the subject. From there, the penetration still did not occur quickly. Francis rubbed the head of his length against the opened legs of the Englishman, purposely prolonging the wait until snappish and guttural demands coming from Arthur's gagged mouth persuaded the continuation.
It was with that position that Francis started to impale Arthur with his own metaphoric sword, driving himself deep into him from the very first thrust. Whether this action was consensual at this point was a concern carefully dodged by the Englishman, though Francis was very deliberate in explaining in full how Arthur wrapped his legs around his hips in his effort to take the Frenchman harder and further inside of his body. It seemed that Francis had finally given in on going slowly and avoiding the younger blond's prostate, because Arthur talked about how the hard thrusts had him constantly woozy and dizzy as he had Francis pound into him and rammed him against his desk.
Approximately five minutes into their sex, it seemed that Francis soon became uninterested in their position. He took himself out of Arthur's body, and lifted the almost boneless Briton off of the desk and into his arms. The gag was ripped out of his mouth, and both parties admit - albeit hesitantly on one part - that they soon proceeded to ravish each other's mouths, distracting one another with their fervent behaviour and kisses. This action was said to have obscured Francis's view when he decidedly choose the next position their sexual conquest took. He slammed Arthur up against the curtain-covered window pane, and promptly re-entered the man's body.
Still inside and thrusting into the warm and tight heat, Francis then continued to remove the bonds on Arthur's member, dropping the tie to the floor as the Englishman succumbed to absolute pleasure - spreading his seed across both of their stomachs. They continued to rut dangerously hard against each other, having what could only be noted as 'highly vigorous' interactions by both their hips jolting together and their lips and tongues merging as one. This lasted for another few minutes as Francis tried to bring himself to an orgasmic high.
(Francis told us, specifically, that he always made sure his partner came first, though we did not ask for such personal knowledge to be entailed).
Their actions from that point onwards must have been extremely vigorous indeed, and very distracting, as neither party realised as the glass pane they were rammed up against slowly started to crack. While double glazing is the norm for the parliamentary buildings, for some reason that the government and Arthur Kirkland did not care to mention, the windows only had one pane of glass. Further research into the subject has shown that for Mr. Kirkland's safety, the office is out of bounds against most visitors to the government building - and so while other windows have been upgraded over the years, the office of said Englishman had not changed for several decades. This explains the horrible wallpaper, although we suspect that Arthur just enjoys the artistic talents of Mr. William Morris.
Needless to say, both Francis and Arthur were not expecting the window to suddenly smash, and send the two naked men straight through past the curtain and it; barrelling them towards the ground, still very much connected. Much to the shock of people walking on the pavement outside of the building, the two lovers crashed with glass littering the area around them. It was lucky for pedestrians that there was no one directly underneath, although several did get hit by smaller pieces of glass. We have collected accounts from eyewitnesses, and from there, we have determined the shocking truth that - even with the glass surrounding them, and the public onlooking - the impromptu coupling continued their sexual engagements, right there on the street.
It was from there that Francis managed to reach his high and climaxed inside of the Briton, and finally police at the scene pulled Francis and Arthur apart and covered the two of them with blankets. When asked why the policemen who performed the action did not act sooner, despite being based on the same street that the two of them were sexually decrecating, they merely replied that they were too embarrassed to split the gay couple apart.
When the two were arrested, the same policemen were further distressed that Mr. Kirkland already had his hands tied and therefore would not need handcuffs. It was at this point that one of the policemen apologised, and walked away from the scene. While the police force does not approve of a joy for bondage, the man in question only received no punishment for his arousal on the job because of the unusual circumstances. Arthur and Francis were taken to the police station, and cleaned up - although nobody wanted that job, it has to be said.
The Englishman supported some injuries from falling on top of the broken glass, with a few bad cuts to his back, along with friction burns from his bonds. He was swiftly bandaged up. The Frenchman was uninjured, however, expressed high distress over how one of his nails had broken. Apparently his nails were very important to him. We do not question the Frenchman's sexuality in the least.
In conclusion, we have determined from the descriptions that Arthur Kirkland and Francis Bonnefoy kindly provided us, along with the accounts of people who had witnessed the event occurring, exactly how this incident happened. When the evidence was re-accounted back to the two suspects, along with each other's personal statement, they both agreed that the information detailed was the absolute truth. We do not contest this. It is with this that we can declare this case to a close.
Although it should be noted that we did not need either Francis, or Arthur to go into such detail with their sex. We assume that, along with other 'kinks' that the men display, they are actually and secretively immensely proud of what they had achieved - and both have a exhibitionist tendency. We have given the two of them a number for a psychiatrist, and highly recommended their attendance. A simple 'we had sex, and fell through the window' would have easily sufficed.
On the subject of my other fics... I'm surprisingly doing progress. Beyond the Pale is getting a revamp. I'll Take You Home is also getting a revamp. Illusions of Depth is only getting a storyline rethink, however. After '...And Two Devious Wolves' is finished, then I'll Take You Home will re-continue. Also; '...ATDW' might be removed, while I continue it purely on the kink meme. This is because it is simply impossible to categorise the fic without disappointing somebody. While it is listed under USUK right now, I simply have no idea yet whether it'll end up as USUK or FrUK. I can't change which one it is labelled under now, because I might switch back to USUK later. Sorry, but there is no solution for this situation. If it's unfair to one side, then I'm afraid that it's fanfiction's fault for not allowing me to list three main characters...
There's a lot of hassle going on with that, and that's the number one reason I have not updated. I don't want to cause one side to be disappointed, but right now it's severely de-motivating me on the fic. I'm actually considering abandoning the fic altogether, and go straight into bringing I'll Take You Home back...
...I don't like getting stuck in a rut. (I bet I'm going to regret talking about the above later).
Anyway, thank you very much for reading. Please may I have some love? :33. xx I return hugs and cuddles D: