If you want to understand this story, read "This Is Not Meant To Be Offensive" first. Or, just read this. Might make sense anyway.

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Helen, Harriet's nine-year-old sister, had not been contaminated by chat speak, anime otakus, and the things her older sister had been. Although, when Harriet introduced Helen to Fullmetal Alchemist, she just couldn't stop herself from writing a fanfic, as her sister had told her.

"Harriet's such a good writer!" Helen sighed as she read the elder's story. "I'll never catch up! She knows all this cool lingo and typing styles… all I can do is write reports and essays on the meaning of life!"

Sitting at her own computer, much more advanced than Harriet's, Helen began typing. Being in an advanced technology and English class, Helen had no time for distractions such as anime and had managed to get straight A's—she was part Mary Sue. And, to your dismay, readers, so is her character, Emily Rose Jenkins.

Emily Rose Jenkins thought she was an average girl. Her hair, clothes, and life were nothing special, and she spent her spare time watching anime. At age seventeen, she had watched 4309348590348532animes and red 549854095239201938520198409238 mangas as well. Her favorite was FMA.

Emily Rose Jenkins dreamed of meeting Edward Elric, because she thought he was really cute. So she turned on her TV and found herself being sucked in to Ame… Amerstrice… um… the FMA world!

Helen stopped typing and went downstairs for dinner.

- Somewhere else! -

Not necessarily a strange day for Edward Elric; no missions yet that week, no attacks…just an average day in the library, researching the Philosopher's Stone. Re-reading a book on human transmutation, he was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

Turning around, Edward noted that this girl wasn't like the other random ones he had encountered. She wasn't obnoxiously gorgeous with long flowing hair and piercing eyes, plus a wonderful figure and unhealthingly skinny. No, she had plain brown hair that reaches just below her shoulders, slightly splitting at the ends with a few waves here and there. Her eyes, the same shade of brown as her hair, were behind ovular, green-framed glasses. Her figure and clothes were nothing special either—she wore a grey sweatshirt that hugged a not-skinny-but-not-fat-either frame, and jeans that flared at the bottom.

"Hetshinya!" She said, waving. Her voice was somewhat musical, but nonetheless, Edward had no idea what this girl was saying. She then continued; "Elicgh Emily Rose Jenkins neimat shogunt rai Edward Elric limis claiig yun!"

He was sure he heard his name in there. "…come again?"

"EHHHH?!" She exclaimed, clearly confused. Unfortunately, unlike most Mary Sues, Helen forgot to give Emily Rose Jenkins the ability to speak every language fluently with a perfect accent—this Mary Sue, apparently, is only half, considering that she's not stunningly gorgeous, either.

'Emily Rose Jenkins' proceeded to speak in the un-comprehendible language as Edward went back to his book, bored by this girl's ramblings.

Somewhere else! -

Getting back to her computer, Helen frowned as she noticed most of her text had been re-formatted to match a series of odd symbols, like that in her Gerfrenaneseanish book (German, French, Japanese Spanish). Sighing, she exited the document and went to use her sister's computer.

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Now, let's say together: DOKO CAN'T WRITE UN-POINTLESS FANFICS! YAAAAAY!!