I Don't need a Man, a transformers/beast wars fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't the Transformer or the song!

Song: I don't need a man – Pussycat Dolls

Pairings: Sunstreaker/Bluestreak, Prowl/Jazz, Smokescreen/Sideswipe.

World: G1

Warnings: This is slash, don't like move along. OOC, with some characters.

Summary: What happens when three Dustan's get bored of how their lovers are acting?

oOo

Bluestreak huffed as he stormed out of the quarters he was currently sharing with his Sunstreaker, it took a lot to annoy the grey Praxian but somehow the dandelion of doom had somehow managed it. It was too earlier to go to the shooting range, and he didn't want to go for a drive, so that meant the next best thing…his elder brothers.

Luckily for him he passed Sideswipe on his way to Smokescreen's room, the red twin had informed him that he was indeed in his quarters and that he was not in the best of moods. Which would be unusual since the blue and red Datsun was very laid back with life, unless he got cheated out in a game which involved very high bets. What was even more unusual was that Sideswipe was not staying with him, and didn't seem his typical overly cheery self.

Knocking on his brother's door, he waited impatiently as he didn't respond. Trying again, he was again met with silence.

"Smokescreen! Open this fragging door!" Blue yelled at the closed door, startling a poor Hound who had chosen that moment to come out his room next door. Unsurprisingly the door open to his yelling and cursing, he was quickly brought inside with a quick reassuring smile to Hound.

"What's up little brother?" Smokescreen asked once they were both settled with a cube of high-grade and music playing softly. Sadly this was probably the worse question to ask the youngest Datsun, luckily Smokescreen was prepared for the onslaught of words he was about to receive.

"Well, Sunstreaker is being a right old fragger, I mean everything I do is just not good enough for him! I swear to primus I would actually have to be a god, and I would still not be good enough for and his absolute perfectness! He is such a slagger, you know what he did? He got me all revved up and willing to go, then just stopped! Stopped to slagging wax himself! I mean who does that?"

"Sunstreaker, obviously."

"And another thing that really bugs me, him and Tracks disappeared for 7 hours into the wash racks while we were supposed to be on a date! Why? Because they were having another argument on who was the most attractive paint job! Pit spawn slagging moron, the pair of them. Then he goes and gets Sideswipe involved…"

"Do not get me started on Sideswipe!" Smokescreen suddenly cut in on his brother tirade, after spending the last half hour trying to convince the red idiot to go do something and with no results he just kicked him out of the room. "Seriously, I swear our relationship to him is just based on getting overcharged and then passing out, on the rare occasion maybe some interfacing! You would think with a reputation that he has, he would be all for it, but no he holds back! For primus sake, I am about 2 seconds from begging the next available mech to just screw my CPU out! I'm fragging dying here Blue!" Smokescreen ranted, his brother nodding along with him, Sunstreaker had been the same lately, holding out when he just really needed it.

"Slagging twins! We should go talk to Prowl about this; he'll know what to do."

oOo

Both of the Datsun's may have thought it would have been a good idea to see the middle brother about their problems, both almost positive he would talk them straight and give them a logical reason to why these things were happening. However whatever they expected, it was not Jazz being thrown out of his lover's quarters and told in a not so polite way told where to go.

Jazz walked casually passed the stunned doorwingers into his own quarters, it would seem normal if it wasn't for the sour look on his face plates and the fact he didn't acknowledge them. Nervously they made their way to Prowl's door, and tapped on his door a few times.

"What part of 'Go get yourself slagged and jump of a fragging cliff you...'" Prowl began to yelled as the door flew open, he stopped mid-sentence as he recognised that it was his brothers at the door and not his lover. "Smokescreen, Bluestreak. Sorry about that, what can I do for you?" He asked, still standing at the door.

"Mechs." Bluestreak said straight away, Prowl nodded and let them in. No one on the ship ever found out what happen in Prowl's room that night, all they know that there was a lot of high-grade and scheming involved.

oOo

The strangeness started happening when Prowl didn't turn up for duty, and the other two were also rescheduled to be off duty for the rest of the day. However that was all forgotten for the rest of day, the whole crew excited for the party that was happening later that night.

When the time was in a decent flow, no mechs overcharged and everyone having fun, the three Datsun's arrived. Having spent the day washing, repainting, polishing and waxing themselves, they looked perfected, optics followed them as soon as they stepped though the threshold. Jazz and the twins looked at their lovers in shock; they have never looked so good. Sunstreaker was the first to break out of stupor as he made his way to his grey lover, to get a surprise of his life. His hand was an inch away from Bluestreak's wing, when the smaller Datsun spun round and grabbed the offending hand. His grip was tight and his optics icy, yet his smile were still warm and inviting. Quickly flicking his eyes to Blaster, who was manning the music, before turning back to his golden lover.

"See you looking at me
Like I got something for you
And the way that you stare
Don't you dare
'Cause I'm not about to
Just give it on up to you
'Cause there are some things I won't do
And I'm not afraid to tell you
I don't ever want to leave you confused." Sunstreaker did looked as confused by the sudden singing, and equally surprised that his Praxian lover could sing. Bluestreak had moved closer during his song, taking advantage of Sunstreaker's stunned state he ran his servos lightly over the glittering armour, smudging the perfectly done wax.

"The more you try
the less I bite
and I don't have to think it through
you know if I'm into you." Bluestreak continued before pushing the heavier golden warrior away, before stalking into the dance floor with his brothers either side of him. To everyone else's confusion they sang the chorus of the song, whilst dancing what could only be describe as provocative.

"I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!" No mech could move, they were too dumbfounded to do anything but stare, and watch with growing amusement as the three biggest cheats on The Ark got their afts handed to them.

"You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing." Prowl started singing as he made his way towards Jazz, sitting down into his lap, leaning forward to kiss him only to turn his head away at the last minute. He knew how much Jazz hated being teased, and he loved the reaction he got. Hitched up vents, and stuttering fuel pump.

"I want a love that's for real
And without that then no deal." He leaned forward again, feeling Jazz's servos crawl up his thighs.

"And baby I don't need a hand." Pushing his pelvic armour closer with Jazz's and grinding down and he leant his upper body back, supporting his weight on his arms that were on Jazz's knees.

"If it only wants to grab one thing." He sang looking back at his doorwings that flicked in a way that caused Jazz to rev his engine.

"The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm feeling you." He finished, grinding once more as a servo crept down the sleek armour, before getting any more interesting he pushed himself of the other rather heated up mech. Ratchet who sat closest to Jazz wasn't sure whether to laugh or crash, so in the end he just sat there gawking. Who knew Prowl had that in him?

"I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around." This time when they danced, there were several mechs cheering them all on, unknown to all the Autobots in the vents above Buzzsaw sat recording the whole scene, unsure what to make of the whole situation.

"Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go" Smokescreen sang as he stalked towards Sideswipe, who having seen what happen to the other two started backing away from him. However he was soon stopped by a wall, and a bunch of eager mechs who wanted to know what would happen next.

"I don't need a
I don't need a man, I don't
I don't need a man
I'll get me through
'Cause I know I'm fine
I feel brand new." Smokescreen smiled sweetly up at Sideswipe as he grabbed a cube of high-grade, he dipped his servo in it and slowly licked off the energon.

"I don't need a
I don't need a man, I don't
I don't need a man
I'll make it through
'Cause I know I'm fine
without you!" he sang as he poured the high-grade onto Sideswipe head and watched it run down the prefect red armour. He lean forward and licked some off Sideswipe's cheek, smiling he then drew away as the red twin went for more.

I don't need a man (I'm over you)
I don't need a man (I'm over you)
I don't need a man
(I'm without you)
(I'm over you)

I don't need a man
I don't need a man
I don't need a man." The whole from, minus three disappointed shocked mechs, were cheering for the Datsun's as they finished with a slap to their own afts.

oOo

Later that evening, Buzzsaw was delivering his recording he then withdrew to watch what the rest of the Decepticons thought of the tap. After the initial shock had worn off several mechs started cheering at the screen, by the end of it many were demanding for it to be replayed. Megatron turned to his third in command, and asked him what he thought the Autobots were doing. For a while Soundwave said nothing, just staring at the screen with his head slightly cocked. Finally all he said was,

"I didn't know Prowl could bend like that."

oOo

A/N: I'm sorry I just couldn't get it out of my head, and it made me giggle like mad at the whole idea of it I just had to share. I really do apologise if you think it was waste of your time, or that it was funny.

Please tell me what you think!