Disclaimer: If I own Ouran, Kyouya would be the main character.
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Tamaki Suoh approached his Raven haired friend at the far side of the 3rd music room. The Shadow King was currently typing away in his trusty laptop.
"Kyouya, can you suggest a valentines' gift I can give our beautiful daughter?" he sat down beside the brunette who sighed and faced him. Hosting was over for the day and the two of them are the only ones in the Host Club room.
"Tamaki, why must I be the one to think of your gifts, can't you chose your own?"
"But I trust your judgement! You chose the perfect gifts! You give me good gifts!" the blonde all but wailed.
The shadow king resumed typing. "Tamaki, it does not take a genius to buy you gifts. A picture of "our" daughter would be enough to please you. Buy her a plushie or something."
"Huni senpai is going to give her a plushie!"
"Then chocolate."
"That's probably what she'll give us!"
"Can you please bother someone else?" The brunette gritted his teeth.
"But it's tomorrow! I have to give my beloved Haruhi something she won't forget! The twins are going to give her clothes, I heard them talk about it earlier! Mori will probably share with Huni senpai! What are you giving her?"
"Nothing, I suggested a day off from hosting, she declined."
"Mommy! You have to give Haruhi a gift! What kind of parents will that make us if we deprive our children a chance to receive something wonderful on that special day? Come with me!" The blonde grabbed his friends' hand and ran to the door.
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"You are going to die." Kyouya uttered while staring daggers at the person in front of him at the bookshop. Tamaki "eek'd"
"Okaa-san! See? Maybe she hasn't read this!" he lifted a book.
"I doubt she'll read that." The brunette replied, eyeing the racy cover of a man and woman locked in a passionate embrace. "Unless she suddenly becomes like Renge."
"What about this?" he showed another.
"Haruhi is 16, not 5. Cat in the Hat won't win you her affections."
"Daddy can read it to her, it's a bedtime story! I will do all the voices then I will tuck her in her bed then give her a kiss goodnight!"
The blonde pranced around the bookshop lost in his inner mind theater, muttering words like, "Goodnight my beloved daughter", "I love you daddy." much to the disgust of the shadow king. People were staring at them. He hit Tamaki's head.
"Will you stop that?! We're leaving!" Kyouya announced before turning his back and leaving the host club king.
He followed, "Help me! Maybe we should buy her a gift certificate? Like a dinner for two?"
"Hmm.."
"Perfume?"
"She won't be able to use it."
"The finest chocolates? Overnight accommodations at the newest five star hotel? A concert pass? Jewelry? A locket? A piano? The latest cellphone? Her own computer? Mommy! The stores are closing! We need to choose now!" Tamaki wailed, stopping in front of a certain type of clothes store. Kyouya glanced at the display, then went in.
"Kyouya Ohtori! We are not buying our daughter undergarments!" the blonde said indignantly.
"A scarf."
"What?"
"She will not accept any of those you mentioned. I noticed that she needed a new scarf, she uses only one."
Tamaki stared at the pink scarf on display sadly. "So ka."
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"Pink, we're getting pink!"
"Blue would be a wiser choice."
"Bus she's a girl!"
"Who everyone thinks is a boy."
"Oh, alright," the blonde fingered the blue knitted scarf, the material was soft and light, he knew it would make Haruhi feel wonderful. He glanced in Kyouya's direction and saw the shadow king touched the rich purple scarf.
"You also need a scarf?"
"No. I was just comparing prices."
"Then we're getting this?"
"YOU are getting that."
"What about you?"
"I'll offer her a day off again."
"I'm okay with sharing a gift with you, we are her parents after all." Tamaki smiled at him, Kyouya smirked.
"No thanks, we wouldn't want Haruhi to think that mommy's gone soft."
The blonde laughed, "I forgot. Okay."
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"Happy Valentines day Haruhi! Where are our gifts?" the twins held out their hands, the brown eyed girl smiled.
"Boy, you really like annoying me don't you?" she said, handing each of the Host club members little gift wrapped boxes of chocolates.
"Of course!" The Hitachiins grinned at her. Then gave her a pink colored package. A dress.
"It's only because we love you Haru-chan!" Huni said, handing her a big, fat box.
Haruhi would bet her life that it's another bun bun.
"Ah." Mori's gift was unwrapped. A picture frame with the Host Club's picture. She smiled at the memory, it was taken during the Ouran festival dance.
"Arigato minna-san." She said, giving them all a smile and was immediately locked in an embrace. She wheezed. "Senpai! Let go of me!"
"My charming Haruhi! Kawaii! We're glad you liked our gifts!" Tamaki exclaimed excitedly before almost suffocating her by pressing a package to her face."
"Mommy helped me choose it!" the blonde said, glancing at Kyouya, who was again, busy typing.
"What is it?" she asked, intrigued. It was badly wrapped.
"Tono, you can't afford to pay someone to wrap it for you?" Hikaru teased.
"We could have paid for it." Kaoru added.
"Devils! Naturally, I wanted to wrap my own present for my beloved daughter. Haruhi deserves nothing less!"
Kyouya raised his eyebrow from the side.
Mori blinked.
"Waahhh!! Haru-chan is only worth a badly wrapped gift!" Huni cried. Tears falling from his eyes.
The said girl refrained from rolling her eyes and looked at the Host Club King who was now ripping pieces of paper at the corner of the room.
"I was only trying to do a commoner thing, commoners wrap their own presents." He muttered to himself, giving everyone his puppy dog eyes.
The twins laughed as Haruhi opened the gift.
"Oh, senpai." She breathed, lifting the grossly expensive light blue scarf from its designer box and admired it. "It's beautiful!"
"You like it?!" The blonde swiftly recovered and stood in front of her. He took the scarf and placed it on her neck while the others watch.
"It feels wonderful. Arigato," she said and impulsively kissed his chin. Tamaki blushed, looked away, only to be worked up again by the lascivious brothers.
"What?! It's not fair! Where's our kiss?!" the twins demanded. Huni cheered.
"Ah." Said Mori.
"Dopplegangers! I will not allow you anywhere near my daughter! Brother's and Sister's don't kiss each other!"
"Neither do daughters and fathers!" they argued.
"Guys, let's compromise. How about you take me home?" Haruhi intervened.
"Hmm?" Hikaru and Kaoru circled her. "Yes, we'll take you home."
"Hikaru! Kaoru!"
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"That was fun wasn't it?!" Tamaki rubbed his chin, smiling idiotically at the brunette who was currently trying his best to ignore the blonde idiot.
"Hai." Once again, there were only the two of them in the 3rd music room.
"Did you offer Haruhi a day off?"
"Hai."
"What did she say?"
"She won't be here tomorrow."
"She loved the scarf! She kissed me! We are now the epitome of a true Japanese family! Haruhi really likes daddy!"
Kyouya closed his eyes and resisted the urge to hit the blonde again.
"Tamaki, why are you still here?" He asked.
"Here." His friend handed him a package, also badly wrapped.
"What is this?"
"Your Valentines gift! You didn't think I forgot about you did you?"
The brunette eyed him carefully before opening the gift. Kyouya smiled at the content.
"Thank you. I didn't really need it, but thank you just the same."
"I know you don't need it, but I also know you like purple. Use it in good health" Tamaki said before reaching over the shadow king and dropping a kiss on his friends' cold cheeks.
"Happy Valentines day Mommy!" He whispered in Kyouya's ear.
"Happy Valentined day Daddy." The brunette replied then handed the blonde a brown box with holes.
"What's in it?" Tamaki asked like a kid.
"A hamster."
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A/N: Lame ending I know, I absolutely have no idea whose story this is and how to end it. I can't even think up of a suitable gift!