Forgiveness and Love
By: KellyCRocker59
Wow, this went in a completely different direction then I was expecting it to. I hope it is enjoyable and everything is solid; I just really wanted to do a camping story so here you go!
Please review; I thrive on them.
Holden was not the camping type. He didn't enjoy it, and while he wasn't hateful toward those that made it a regular hobby, simply couldn't fathom how anyone could feel differently. And yet here he was, camping with his boyfriend. Sean, of course, loved doing such a manly activity, and had practically begged Holden to go with him on their third year anniversary.
Sean was currently setting up their tent, which was set deep in the forest, away from any other campers. Not that either of them cared anymore, considering that everyone on the planet knew about Sean. It was just a matter of privacy.
Finally, their tent was finished, and Holden transferred their belongings into it.
"You should really wear a t-shirt and shorts more often." Sean commented, and Holden felt his hand run along his hip and down the side of his khaki shorts as he was leaning over his bag to remove the sleeping bags.
"It makes me feel awkward." Holden grumbled, blushing despite himself at the other man's affection.
"Maybe you would be more comfortable without them on?" Sean asked, turning Holden around and toying now with the hem of his shirt, tugging gently at it.
"Not in the middle of the day; people are awake. I don't want anyone overhearing." Holden explained, leaning up to place a kiss on Sean's lips.
"Yeah, you do get pretty loud," Sean replied with a big smile, chasing Holden's lips, hands resting firmly on his boyfriend's hips, keeping him in place.
Holden wrapped his arms around Sean's neck, pulling him down further, attempting to be completely enveloped by the man in front of him, the familiar smell of musk and fresh pine trees intoxicating his senses as Sean's hands pulled insistently at his shirt, but instead simply running up under the back of it and along Holden's skin.
Holden tangled his fingers in Sean's hair, kissing him deeply for a moment longer before pulling back and burying his face in Sean's chest, the muscles flexing beneath his cheek. Sean rested his hands around Holden's lower back, kissing his neck.
"I don't even know why we brought two sleeping bags; it's not like we're going to be using more then one." Sean said against Holden's hair, resting his chin there.
"We probably need to get to gathering supplies before the sun goes down; I heard it's supposed to get really cold." Holden said, ignoring the comment verbally but unable to stop that blush from tinting his cheeks at what Sean had said.
"Yeah, you're right." Sean replied, pulling back but still holding onto Holden's hand, leading him out of the tent.
Holden had volunteered to get firewood, but Sean was too worried about the risk of him getting injured dealing with heavy branches to allow that, so instead Holden was assigned the task of filling several pales with water from the nearby lake; Sean wanted the full effect of this trip. He traveled down a narrow trail that led to the lake, which was populated by various other campers.
Holden bent over the water, filling the first, and then the second, with water. He stood, going to leave back for their tent, when he almost dropped the pales from his hands in surprise. There, walking alongside a young woman was his ex-boyfriend from college. The memories hit him like a wave, flooding his mind in a blur of pieces.
The boyfriend whom he had thought he may love. The boyfriend who had been hard up for money. The boyfriend who had taken money from a friend in exchange for slipping drugs into Holden's drink. The boyfriend who had given an unconscious Holden to his friend so that he could be raped. The boyfriend who had helped violate him in a way he couldn't forget. And here he was, walking in his direction.
Holden attempted to move, his mind was pleading to, but his body wouldn't, was instead frozen in its place. Then, the man, looking more ripped then he had back in college, looked in Holden's direction. He looked away, but then he looked back up and saw him, really saw him.
And Holden felt like running as fast and far as he could. The man turned the woman, saying something that made her walk toward the rest area beside the lake, and then approached Holden.
"Well hey, Holden, what are you doing here?" He asked, smiling with his hands in his pockets.
Holden looked down, ashamed with himself as he faintly remembered those hands on him right before he had completely blacked out that night, forcing him to move ways he hadn't before.
"Look, why don't we just let what happened in college be behind us? I mean, we all do stupid things back then." He suggested, and Holden looked up at him, seeing a form of persuasion in his eyes but not sinking into it. He wanted to punch him, punch him as hard as he could.
"I need to get back to our tent." Holden said instead, hurrying past the other man.
"I'll see you around." He replied loudly as Holden hurried to get back to the tent, stuffing the risen memories as deeply back into his mind as he could.
When he arrived back at their tent, Sean was organizing limbs of varying sizes into a pile, having pulled two large logs from somewhere for them to sit on near the fire; a nice alternative to the ground. Sean looked up at his boyfriend with a bright smile, which immediately contorted into something else less joyful. Holden looked distraught, hidden behind a smile that he had returned Sean.
"Holden, what's wrong?" He asked, standing straight as the other man walked toward the small pile of limbs.
Holden just shook his head absentmindedly, continuing his walk forward until he could grab Sean, doing so tightly, arms entangling the larger man in a tight hug. Sean returned it, not quite sure how to respond to this; Holden hardly ever showed such sporadic bursts of affection.
"You okay?" He asked, hands running down Holden's back.
Holden nodded, taking in a deep breath through his nose. Sean wasn't satisfied, but instead of questioning the behavior further, he rubbed Holden's back softly.
"I love you." He whispered softly against Holden's hair, cherishing the serene moment they were sharing.
"I love you too." Holden replied, muffled by the fabric of Sean's shirt.
"Let's go eat; it's getting late and we didn't bring any meals with us." Sean said, grabbing Holden's hand and heading to where meals were served on the camp grounds.
They arrived at the eating area, where grilled chicken, potatoes and vegetables were being served in an outside sitting area. There were a lot of people there, but Sean navigated both of them toward the beginning of the line where everyone was being served. Holden's eyes darted around, nervous as to whether or not his ex would be there. No sign of him, so Holden let his shoulders sag in relief, letting out a breath he hadn't realized that he had been holding.
Sean turned toward him at the noise, granting Holden a smile that warmed his heart. They got their food and found a seat for two on a bench at the end of a table, both sitting on the same side. Then, as they were eating, Holden heard a voice over the crowd and looked up.
There he was, standing among several other men, laughing cheerfully. It made Holden's heart hurt, and he slumped down a bit, attempting to camouflage himself behind Sean. However, Sean noticed and turned toward him.
"Holden, what's wrong with you? Ever since you went to go get water you've been acting like we're at Camp Crystal Lake and Jason is lurking behind every tree. Whatever it is, just tell me."
Holden shook his head, taking another bite.
"It's nothing."
"Yeah, it is. You know keeping secrets is never healthy." Sean persisted, hand going beneath the table to rest on Holden's thigh, gently massaging the skin beneath.
Holden melted at the touch, and the words came without him willing them to.
"You know my ex from college?" Holden asked.
"The one who…" Sean was already tensing up, his hand now gripping Holden's leg.
"Yeah…he's here." Holden said softly, looking Sean directly in the eyes. There was a rage slowly filling them, the kind that Holden rarely saw. This time it was worse, though.
"Sean, don't do anything, okay? It's over now." Holden said quickly, reaching out to touch Sean's arm.
Sean released his thigh and took a deep breath.
"Where is he?" He asked after a while, and Holden shook his head.
"I'm not going to tell you; you're just going to do something you'll regret."
"Where is he?" Sean asked again softly, his voice strained, jaw set.
"Promise me you won't do anything?" Holden finally asked gently.
"Where is he?" Sean asked for a third time, eyes shifting around the area now, as though he would simply be able to tell by appearance who the man in question was.
Holden sighed, knowing he didn't really have a choice at that point. He reached his hand up, shaking, and pointed at him, still laughing with his friends. Sean lurched up from his seat, Holden reaching out to grab his arm but not being swift enough.
"Sean, don't…" Holden began but then the football player was lurching forward at the man, who turned just in time to see the man upon him.
Sean tackled him into the grass outside the eating area, gripping his shirt and punching him hard in the face over and over again. People were gasping, hollering for someone to stop the fight, but Holden could only stare in shock as Sean beat the man over and over in the face.
Several people, the ones who had been talking to Holden's ex, attempted to pull Sean off of him, but Sean pulled away from them, punching the man square in the jaw. Then Holden felt his body finally doing what his brain was telling him, and he was darting through the crowd that had gathered.
"Sean, stop!" He yelled, pulling at Sean's arms that continued to swing, the man attempting to simply block the blows, not strong enough to fight back.
Something triggered in Sean's brain and his fists stopped, allowing himself to be pulled from the man by Holden, chest heaving.
"Hope you remember that next time you think about taking advantage of somebody!" Sean hollered, and Holden was grabbing at Sean's arms again, forcing him through the crowd with all of his strength, the shocked individuals parting for the two.
"Someone get him an ice pack and a medic!" Holden heard someone order, but he was busy hauling Sean away, back to their tent.
Finally, after traveling down the trail in silence, they arrived back at the tent. Holden had let go of Sean on the way there, and sat down on a log, not speaking. Sean found some matches that they had brought along and started the fire, which flickered quickly to life.
"He deserved it." Sean said, knowing Holden didn't approve of his actions.
"You beat him within an inch of his life! Sean, what if he presses charges? Everyone knows who you are…" Holden said, looking up with the most helpless look on his face.
Sean softened immediately when their eyes locked, and sat down on the log beside Holden, turning toward him and leaning forward.
"I told you that if anyone ever laid hands on you like that I wouldn't be able to control myself. You know how I am, Holden."
Holden nodded, resigned. He remembered the times they had gone to bars and he had been hit on by other men, aggressively sometimes by men who wouldn't take no for an answer. Sean had beaten them up badly, but nothing like today. He looked up at Sean, who was looking at him, begging for his understanding.
Holden reached up, taking Sean's face in his hands, thumb caressing his cheek, feeling the stubble along his jaw. Sean smiled gently back at him.
"You're a bit over-protective, I hope you know." Holden finally said, and Sean chuckled, the deep sound resonating in his chest.
"I love you, Holden; I love you so much that sometimes I just…snap. I blame it on being an only child, but I get pissed when people try to take what's mine."
"What, now I'm your property?" Holden asked, his smile the only thing betraying the joking nature of his question.
Sean pulled him forward, off of the log and into his lap, kissing him powerfully. Holden returned it, arms going around Sean's neck tightly. They kissed like that for a long while, and then Sean pulled back.
"How about we take this into the tent?" He proposed.
Holden nodded, tongue suddenly heavy. He always got like this before they had sex. Sean stood, lifting Holden up in his arms.
"I'm not a woman, Sean; I can walk myself." Holden said, breaking the heavy air.
Sean chuckled, "What can I say? I'm old-fashioned."
Holden rolled his eyes but allowed Sean to carry him into the tent before setting him down on the rolled out sleeping bag and blankets. Sean turned, fastening the tent closed, and turned back to Holden.
Their hands were everywhere at once, but this wasn't rushed; this time it was slow, gentle. Holden pulled Sean's shirt up, lifting it up over his head, their lips breaking only briefly as both men, on their knees, undressed one another. Sean did the same with Holden's shirt, tossing it aside and then lowering him onto his back on the blankets.
Holden's hands found Sean's shorts, undoing his belt and shoving the khaki fabric down hard and fast, the football player kicking the clothing off before working at Holden's belt and then pushing the clothing away as he had his own. They laid there and kissed for a while, hands feeling one another gently, both of them knowing the other's body like it was their own.
Holden then pulled at the elastic of Sean's boxers, pushing it down off of his hip bone. Sean smiled against Holden's lips, and allowed the other man to push the final piece of clothing off of his waist and down his thighs, the football player maneuvering them the rest of the way off, releasing his aching need which began rubbing against Holden's inner thigh.
Holden then rolled over, willing Sean to pull his boxers down, lifting his hips to make it easier. Finally, the last article of clothing separating the two of them was gone, and Sean ran his hands up Holden's back, feeling every contour of his body, fingers splaying along hard abdominal muscles and against his toned chest.
Holden rested his face on his arms, folded on the blankets. Sean leaned completely over him, chest pressed against his back as his hands settled on his hips. He kissed Holden's cheek softly and then his neck, lips traveling along his upper back until he leaned up, on his knees.
Holden gasped as Sean wet his fingers in his mouth and then slid one digit, then two, inside of him.
"Sean…" Holden moaned as the fingers pumped in and out relentlessly, scissoring apart before leaving him.
"Ready?" Sean asked.
"Need you, Sean." Holden replied softly, gripping the sheets.
Sean guided his erection toward Holden's entrance with his right hand, his left resting against Holden's lower back. Holden spread his legs wider to accommodate his boyfriend, and then the head was pressing against him. He relaxed his muscles and allowed Sean to breach him in the most personal way, sliding inch by inch into the smaller man.
Sean groaned as he sheathed himself completely within Holden, who pushed his hips back, willing him to move. Sean began a steady rhythm, Holden meeting his thrusts with moans. Both men were as one, moving against one another at a steady pace. Holden gripped the sheets tightly, not wanting to speed up their lovemaking, his body pulsing with pleasure.
Sean leaned over him now, chest once again pressed to Holden's back, sweat now covering both of them as they continued their pace without faltering.
"Love you so much…" Sean whispered, kissing along Holden's cheek and neck, panting as he did.
"Sean…love you…too…" Holden gasped, turning and capturing Sean's lips in his.
Then, Sean was back on his knees, thrusting deep into Holden, stomach tightening, building the intense heat that threatened to overwhelm him. Holden felt it too with each push inward, Sean diving deep inside of him and triggering every fiber of pleasure that his body held.
Their orgasms hit simultaneously, Holden moaning Sean's name loudly, guttural noise filling the tent and reverberating off of the trees around them. Sean groaned loud, a softer noise but still loud as Holden's walls contracted around his erection with each thrust, pulling him in deeper.
Finally, Sean felt his orgasm fading, pulling out and letting himself lye against Holden back once more, the other male collapsed completely flat on the blankets.
"You okay?" Sean asked, hoping he hadn't hurt Holden too badly from their lack of preparation.
Holden nodded sleepily, and Sean rolled off of him, lying on the blankets beside the other man. Holden turned and curled himself against Sean's side as the football player grabbed several blankets and pulled them over their bodies. Sean then turned and tangled himself into Holden, arms going under the other man's, legs intertwining, one face buried in hair, the other in chest.
They both drifted to sleep quickly, their breathing practically in sink as the two men rested in one another's arms.