Roxas ran quickly and carefully, ignoring his completely drenched and de-gelled hair. His black cloak dripped with water.
His footsteps echoed against the creepy white hallway. He thought about how badly the castle needed a paint job – and how cliché that idea was – as he clutched something tightly to his chest protectively.
Axel coincidentally emerged from a random not-worthy-of-being-specified room, eying Roxas curiously.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" he asked. Roxas skidded to a stop, debating internally as to whether or not he should share the secret with Axel. Well…it was Axel… "What is that?" he asked nosily, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever it was Roxas was holding.
Roxas whirled around quickly, cutting off Axel's view.
"You can't tell anybody," he ordered, glancing back threateningly at the pyro. Said pyro smirked.
"I won't…" he said, trying to peek over the blonde's shoulder.
Roxas slowly turned around, letting Axel see just what exactly he was hiding in his arms.
Axel stared for a good thirty seconds before responding.
"You're kidding."
Roxas blushed.
"…no."
Just then, Demyx showed up out of nowhere.
"Ohmigod Roxas it's so cute where did you find it what's it's name!?!" he exclaimed, grabbing the ---- from Roxas's arms and cradling it in his own.
"Where did you find it?" Axel asked, grinning amusedly.
"Outside…it was raining so I couldn't just leave it…" He glared at Axel when he chuckled. "It's not funny!"
"Yeah it is."
Roxas pouted. Then he realized that Demyx had disappeared with his --- . He cried out in despair.
"Noooouuuuu! What if Xemnas finds out!? Or Larxene or Saiix or Vexen or Xigbar or --" Axel placed a gloved hand over the ranting blonde's mouth.
"Let's go find Demyx, then," he suggested calmly. Roxas snapped his fingers.
"Yes!" he exclaimed, running off in a random direction. Axel followed him.
"Zexion's room is in the other direction," he said. Both stopped. Roxas was about to ask why Demyx would be in Zexion's room -- but he understood so he didn't – and they ran the other direction to find the creepy emo's room.
On the way, they passed by Luxord's room, Xaldin's room, and Xigbar's room, which is all irrelevant and in a very messed up order.
And so they came to Zexion's room, which the emo had dubbed "Zexion's Room". Xemnas always complained about the dullness and unoriginality of it and ignored Zexion's remarks about how they're nobodies so they can't not be dull. Xemnas was just offended by that anyway. He was very sensitive to racism.
FLASHBACK
Xemnas: I am very disappointed in what you named your room, Zexion.
Zexion: ….
Xemnas: Why couldn't you name it like Luxord's; Havoc's Divide? Or Xaldin's; The Gale of Despair? Or even Xigbar's; Bullet For My Valentine?
Zexion: Some of those don't even make sense.
Xemnas: SILENCE! Your room's name is dull and has no feeling.
Zexion: …so? We're nobodies…
Xemnas: What!? Are you saying that just because we're nobodies we can't feel!?!
Zexion: ...yes.
Xemnas: RACIST! I am ashamed to know you!
Zexion: I'm a nobody, too…
Xemnas: …..LIES!!
END FLASHBACK
While the two nobodies known as Roxas and Axel were having a flashback that wasn't really theirs anyway, Larxene walked into the scene.
"Zex isn't in his room. Demyx dragged him outside to the pool," she said flatly. Roxas leapt two feet into the air, having been caught off guard, but Axel turned around calmly.
"…why?" he asked.
"I dunno."
"It's raining outside," Roxas pointed out. A sadistic grin crept onto the woman's face. She laughed maniacally, then ran off. Both guys followed her.
MEANWHILE
"Demyx, why are we standing next to the pool idiotically while it's raining?" Zexion asked, worrying about his hair being de-gelled and de-dyed.
Demyx stared into space.
"Oh. I dunno. It's vital to the plotline I guess," he replied, shrugging. "But look what Roxas found!"
"…What plotline? This has no plotline," Zexion muttered.
"Don't be so pessimistic!"
"I had no idea you knew such a big word."
"I don't. The author made me say it."
Zexion wallowed in disappointment. Demyx started dancing with the ---- still in his arms.
"I'm going inside," the emo mumbled, turning to do just that. Out of nowhere, a GameBoySP fell from the sky, hit him in the head, and caused him to fall into the pool. Demyx screamed, looking up towards the sky. He saw that the GameBoySP was in fact thrown out a window. Xaldin's window. Xaldin muttered curse words loudly as he shut his window, oblivious to the "injury" Zexion sustained.
Larxene, Axel, and Roxas finally showed up. Larxene laughed maniacally again and shoved Demyx into the pool. The --- flew from Demyx's arms and Roxas dove for it, just barely catching it in his arms.
Larxene cast a whole lot of thundaga spells on the pool… Roxas and Axel just went back inside.
"You're not actually thinking about keeping that are you?" Axel asked distastefully, glaring at the --- as Roxas cuddled it.
"Of course I am," Roxas replied, "Or there wouldn't be a plotline."
"BUT THERE IS NO PLOTLINE! THE AUTHOR IS SITTING AT HER DESK CHEWING GUM – because she already killed her pen cap because she was chewing it – WHILE LISTENING TO THE ROCK STATION ON THE RADIO AND WONDERING WHAT RANDOM AND STUPID THINGS SHE CAN DO TO US!!"
Roxas was ignoring Axel's rant, however, and was already started down the hall, talking softly to the ---- in his arms.
Axel followed him, still glaring at the ---- .
"Xemnas will find out, you know," Axel warned.
"No! Cos you won't tell him!" Roxas gasped.
Saiix ran past them, a crazed look in his eye as he held a pair of scissors into the air. Roxas and Axel both put forth the effort to turn and watch him as he ran down the hall. He ran into the wall, not noticing the sharp turn. The scissors he was running with flew straight into his face.
"Well, that's going to leave a mark!" he exclaimed cheerily, pulling them out and running down the hall he missed earlier.
Roxas and Axel shrugged.
"Didn't Xemnas get that guy a therapist?" Axel mused.
"Come to think of it, he did," Roxas responded, now in deep thought.
Suddenly, a small green person with shiny red eyes and antennae ran down the hall the same way Saiix had just moments before, holding up a piece of paper.
"Come back, earth scum! Tell me what you see in the picture! TELL ME!!" he shouted. He ran into the wall just like Saiix had, then disappeared around the corner, still shouting.
"So much for a therapist," Axel muttered. Roxas shrugged.
"As long as I have my--"
Xemnas appeared in front of them from a dark portal.
"Have you seen Saiix and his therapist?" he asked. Then he saw IT and gasped. "ROXAS! What is THAT!?"
Roxas lowered his head a bit, holding IT tight.
"Can I keep him?" he asked.
"OHEMGEE it's a KITTY!! AND HE MATCHES SAIIX'S HAIR!!" Xemnas squealed, grabbing IT – which has now been identified as a blue kitten – and hugging it.
"Errr…"
"What? OH, ROXAS! Good thing you're here! There is a group of weird looking people who are angry about… stealing a band name or something? Something like that. Anyway, Xigbar needs to change his room name or you need to dispose of the weird humans before we get sued." With that, Xemnas teleported away… with the kitten.
Roxas fell to his knees in angst.
"My kitten! Nooooouuuu!" he cried dramatically. Axel knelt down and put his arms around him. "Oh, Axel, he's gone, and I didn't even name him!!"
"It's okay, Rox. I'll buy you a new kitten," Axel said softly.
"Really??" asked Roxas, with great big shiny anime eyes.
"Yeah."
"(sniff) Thank you."
"Now what were we supposed to do?"
"Uhm… something about a rock band having their band name stolen by Xigbar?"
"…wanna go make out in the library?"
"…we have a library?"
"…right here works, too."
"…ok."
And so a meaningful story that totally made sense comes to an end.
Zexion: (Fried, as you may recall) I told you it didn't have a plotline.
Demyx: Yes it did, Zexy! The duck found his way home after all!
Zexion: …
Demyx: Yep! And Roxas got his kitten!
Roxas: No I didn't…
Xemnas: I did.
Demyx: …what did you name him?
Xemnas: …Xehanort.
Roxas: Egotistic?
Xemnas: ………you LIE!!!