Just a strange little one-shot I decided to do. Should be read in conjunction with Pointless Legolas Torture Story Sort Of by Ithilien of the Sky.
Legolas stood, terrified, as he saw the girl with the white rat approach him menacingly. "MOO HA HA!" she laughed wickedly as she set the rat on the ground.
The Elf gulped, the evil author was back. "Not again! Why are you here this time?"
The girl shrugged, "I dunno."
"You mean, you actually aren't the author this time?"
She shook her head, "No, not this time." Her response make Legolas do a little happy dance in spite of himself.
"I am the Author." They turned to see a very tall person in a dark cloak. "Therefor, you shall do as I wish." Then she smiled, "Legolas Thranduilion, excuse the rudeness of my friend."
"Your friend?!" his eyes bugged out of his head, this couldn't bode well for him.
Then a large red dog appeared at the Author's side, Roku dashed to his owner and sat, shaking in terror on Vicki's shoulder. "This is Maggie." The Author said, petting the dog's head. Then Maggie went over and licked Legolas' hand and wagged her tail. "She likes you, Legolas." Said the Author.
"Amanda! Please, you cannot do this!" Vicki said in fright. "Be kind, let me go free!"
Amanda thought for a moment, then before Vicki could move Legolas ran up and kissed her on the lips, she screamed and slapped the Elf, but it didn't work. Finally, though, the Prince backed away.
Legolas smiled at Amanda, "Thank you."
"You're most welcome, my Prince. Is there anything else you need for me to do for you?"
"Yes, get rid of Gimli once and for all."
"Yes." Amanda thought for a moment, though the peace was shattered when the mad Dwarf himself burst through the bushes, wielding a terrible looking axe and screaming.
Then Amanda clapped and Elrond appeared. The Lord of Imladris cocked his large, scary eyebrows and Gimli fell dead on the spot. Legolas cautiously approached the stiff Dwarf.
"You killed him!" Elrond nodded.
"Yes I did."
Legolas did a little jig, "Gimli's dead! Gone forever! Ding ding ding! Da ding ding!" He bowed to the all powerful Author. "Thank you!"
Though Amanda wasn't going to let him free that easily and Legolas soon felt himself walking towards her, the Authors had such power over the characters and it scared him sometimes.
Amanda caressed his Elven face, and leaned in to kiss him, Vicki shuddered. When their lips met, Legolas didn't know what to think, at first he didn't like someone else having power over him, but this, this wasn't so bad. Legolas wrapped his arms around Amanda's neck and then the Author said "The End."
THE END