/ Hello. Those who have read Broken Hourglass probably noticed that I like the fellow strategist and friend of Zhou Yu, considering his appearance in several chapters. In this short fic, I attempted to imagine and describe how Lu Su feels about the loss of Zhou Yu, a few years after the battle at Chi Bi. Write comments after you read and, please, let me know if you 're reading my late story Timeless. /
This fic is also dedicated to my friend M., whom I miss greatly.
Lingering Hours
Do you know what you have left behind? Of course you do. I wasn't there, but I am fully certain that your last thoughts concentrated on the things you have been attending, on the people you cared. I hurt when it comes to my mind, but more than me, it was you who has been in agony... don't think I didn't know. You took all the weight on your shoulders and you ran, there, to the front line, but I was not so mighty to last this race, Zhou Yu! I don't understand, and maybe I won't, what sort of reasoning advised you -the wisest of all!- to let me succeed your honourable position.
You said that I had the virtues needed. You told me that I had been a good friend to you and a person that someone could rely on. It was you who encouraged me to become better, although I am not yet whom I hope to be.
At first, I cared for myself and then you taught me friendship. Formerly, I was concerned about the hardships of people of my town exclusively and now I try to do my best for an entire land... it is also something that I want to do for you. I use my humble power to help our lord Sun Quan shield and strengthen the kingdom that you and king Sun Ce won with your arms and spirit. I am still here and I ought to go on, isn't it?
But I have admitted it to myself. It's not the same. Often, I can't help but consciously recall the days of your presence, simple things... greeting each other, expecting me to tell you what did I like and why in you last piece of music, admonishing me for something I didn't mind well during work or for the elasticity I showed.
They say that they have lost a comrade and a commander and they are right. But I also feel like I have lost my family for a second time, a soul and a mind that carved mine. A heart that deserved to grow old and keep pounding against time, not to break.
I went to Chi Bi the other day, as if I hoped to find you there watching over the marines. I stood there, waiting, I don't know for what, and maybe for the first time I couldn't believe, I couldn't explain, how the true hero of this peaceful, now, region cannot be a part of it, cannot be here.
And I cried.
Like that moment, on your funeral, when I took one last glimpse of your pale face before they seal and blanket your body away, and then I realized that I wouldn't see you again.
There is a cold piece of marble and a sky that separates me from friendship. And many, many recollections and a promise not to lay down the arms that somehow keeps the soul that left significant prints on my own, near. There is sadness and regret... hope and gratitude.
You left with pain, Zhou Yu. But it is also important that you knew how to live. I pray that you only kept with you the love you have given and earned, so that, wherever you might have woken, to be well, my dearest friend.