She felt numb, her mind absolutely empty of anything other than that night, the night that had led her to here. She was sitting on her sofa, both feet planted firmly on the ground, her elbows resting on her thighs with her hands clasped and dangling in the space between her knees. There was complete silence all around her, her sister still sleeping no doubt. She wasn't a morning person, Zelena, and especially not at the weekend. They usually rose around 6am on a weekday, Regina sometimes earlier, before they'd ready themselves for the day, one would take control of breakfast whilst the other would ready briefcases and then they'd eat and leave together for work.
She was the Mayor for godsake, she kept a whole town standing, she met with some of her harshest critics daily and had to fight to convince them that she was worthy of leading them - she was, she'd had two very successful terms unopposed and was comfortably in her third term now. She was afraid of nothing...nothing but this.
It was silly really, being afraid of a little white stick that had been between her legs a couple of minutes ago as she'd peed on it - the whole process rather undignified in her opinion but then, so was the night that had gotten her here - waiting for a line that would confirm she was being foolish and that she could finally forget about that night - she couldn't, she'd tried but she still couldn't get it out of her mind - or waiting for two lines that would change her life forever.
She'd never really thought about this possibility, this outcome. She certainly hadn't when she'd been pressed against the brick wall of the alley between the Rabbit Hole and The Mad Hatter's Tea Rooms with his tongue in her mouth and his hand up her skirt. It was just a bit of fun after a hard week, a bit of fun with a total stranger whom she'd never seen before and she hadn't seen him since - not that she saw many other than those who frequented the town hall or Granny's diner at stupid o'clock in the morning for a strong caffeine fix - either way, it was not supposed to turn out like this.
She had liked him though, she remembers that much even with her hazy memory of that night. He'd made her laugh, had helped her open up and he hadn't been leering at her, in fact, it had been quite the opposite.
She couldn't make out the features of the man in her memory but she knows his hair was fair, shaved at the sides and longer on top. He'd had stubble to match, rough salt and pepper grey flecked stubble that had felt positively sinful when he'd dragged it down the skin of her neck, over the swells of her breasts as he'd buried his mouth between them. And dimples...there had been dimples denting his cheeks...they'd been the appeal for her if she recalls correctly, her eyes had fallen to them whenever he'd smiled and they'd winked at her.
He'd had a thing for biting his lip too, smiling at her in a way that had had her squeezing her thighs together and wondering what it'd feel like to do it for him...she'd suggested it. They'd both been drunk - she'd been drunker - and so their inhibitions had been swallowed with the 7th shot of tequila they'd sunk...or was it the 8th?
Either way, it didn't matter. It had been a weak moment for her but the promise of never seeing him again had made the experience feel all the more illicit and exhilarating.
Right now though, right now she didn't get quite the same buzz as she had then.
"You really don't look like you want to be here."
She turned, snarky reply readied on her tongue, to find herself quite stunned when kind blue eyes met her own. It was him, 'dimples' as she'd been calling him in her head since she'd arrived an hour earlier. "Well aren't you perceptive" and if it had been anyone else, her haughty tone most certainly would've carried, he would've heard the sarcasm dripping from every syllable and would have backed off but it wasn't anyone else, it was him, the man she'd been shamelessly ogling for the last 43 minutes and so she stunk of flirtation.
"Birthday party?" he asked, no doubt catching sight of the banners hung all about the place and, more obvious a hint, the hat that had been placed upon her head with a snap of elastic that she was sure was slowly slicing through the skin of her chin.
"I refer you to my earlier answer," she replied in lieu of an actual answer and she found herself smiling with him when he pulled the bar stool in front of him out in order to move closer to the bar before pulling it back and sitting upon it. She gave him a rather pointed look which he ignored with that smirk still in place - and those dimples!- before he gave her his own look, clearly still waiting for an answer. She rolled her eyes and turned her gaze back to her - almost empty - martini glass, swirling the olive around the inside before lifting the toothpick to her mouth and taking it between her teeth, sliding the olive off slowly into her mouth.
He was watching her closely, his eyes on her lips and if she hadn't felt a little buzzed already she more than likely would've told him to shove off but even the thought that he was getting turned on by her little display had heat flaring in her stomach.
She nodded in answer finally as she chewed delicately, dropping the - now empty - stick into her glass before swallowing and admitting, in rather a contrast to her earlier confidence, "it's mine."
His eyes lit up then as he beamed at her, "well, happy birthday…"
"Regina," she finished for him after a short moment of thought, he clearly wasn't from here if he had no idea who she was. That took a little pressure off of her for now at least.
"Happy birthday, Regina" he offered his hand, smiling all the more when she took it and accepted his shake before he told her "I'm Robin."
A whole month she'd been in denial for now because there it was, as clear as day, the result that was indeed going to change her life forever. She was having a baby.
Her hands trembled as she leaned forward enough to grab the test from atop it's box on the coffee table, her breath hard to find as she looked down at those two little lines. A baby. She was going to have a baby. "Fuck."
"A little too early in the day for cursing, don't you think?" came the sound of her sister's voice from the hallway, apparently she'd finally arisen. Double fuck. "Thank the lord, I smell coffee!"
Regina listened to the sound of her sister's excited footsteps carrying her towards the kitchen where there was indeed a pot of coffee freshly brewed and waiting for her. "You are my favourite sister!" came Zelena's voice once more along with the clink of a spoon against ceramic. It was automatic, Regina's reply of "I'm your only sister," and it would usually pull a laugh from Zelena but instantly the clinking stopped and was replaced with the sound of the redhead's footsteps growing closer as she padded her way into the living room, sharp blue eyes filled with a concern Regina hadn't seen since her father had died two years ago.
"What's wrong?"
She looked at her sister for a long moment, her lips gently parted and her heart racing as she fought down the bile burning at her throat. She'd dropped the test into the deep pocket of her favourite grey cardigan before Zelena had arrived but she wasn't quite sure why she had. They told one another everything, it had been the basis of their relationship since they'd found out about one another 6 years ago at Cora's funeral - it was the only way they'd been able to build anything.
Zelena had told Regina of the resentment she'd held for her, of the time she'd had with their mother, of the family she'd been surrounded by for all of her life. Regina had then told her of the abuse she'd suffered at her mother's hand for the first ten years of her life and how, when her father had finally realised what his wife had been doing, he'd packed up their things and brought Regina to Storybrooke, leaving only his keys and divorce papers laid out upon the dining room table. They hadn't seen anything of her since then.
They'd been able to repair damage done by Cora, with the help of Henry, over the years and now were as close as Regina thought she could be to anyone. She loved her sister and Zelena loved her back wholeheartedly.
She patted the seat beside her with large, sorrowful eyes as she told her "sit down…" swallowing down her fears before continuing "there's something I have to tell you."
"I shouldn't be doing this," she breathed on a moan when he sucked at her pulse point, one hand kneading her breast and the other keeping her leg hooked around his hip with fingers curled behind her knee. "I'm the Mayor-"
"I don't think I'd be able to function if you were the Mayor of my town." he pressed kisses along the slope of her neck and the hard edge of her jaw before he bit down gently and pulled a whimper from her. The night had been cold when she'd arrived here but with him pressed so tightly against her and the heat he was administering with every kiss he placed upon her flushed skin, she could feel nothing of the cold night air. "Meetings spent breathless in your presence," he breathed into her skin, onto her lips, "nights spent imagining you bent over your desk, wet and ready for me…" he groaned at the thought before attacking her mouth with vigour once more and all else in her mind faded for the moment.
"When I told you two to get a room," Zelena teased, still a little confused as to what had Regina so upset, that little tryst had been weeks ago, surely she wasn't still embarrassed.
"Shut up and let me finish" Regina groused, eyes on her bouncing knees.
She sighed gratefully at the feeling of her back pressed against satin sheets rather than the rough brick of the alleyway, her reservations at bringing him back to her home gone for the night at least.
He was even more gorgeous with his clothes off, discarded beside her own on her bedroom floor, and only the light of the moon illuminating the hard lines of his body, his chest, his abs. He smirked at her ogling before he kneeled on the bed, using a palm pressed into the mattress beside her head before he was shifting so that he was hovering over her, dropping his gaze to the length of her body, bare and ready for him.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Regina?"
God, she loved the way he said her name, it made her feel special, made her feel wanted. She licked her lips - a nervous trait that she couldn't help - but nodded all the same. "I'm sure, Robin." She lifted a hand to trail soft fingers up his stomach, loving the way she had to relax her fingers as they rose and fell over toned muscle. She looked up from beneath thick lashes, lifted her head from her pillow enough to flick her tongue over his lip, chuckling quietly when he followed her back down before she brushed her lips against his own and whispered "I want you."
"Wow," Zelena breathed after a long moment, her brilliant blue eyes filled with a surprised amusement as she complimented "go little sis." Regina said nothing in return though and that had the redhead's concern returning, her coffee still untouched and cooling in her lap as she asked "so what's got you so-" she was cut off when the brunette pulled her hand from her pocket, a little white stick resting atop her open palm. "Oh…"
"Yeah…" Regina breathed, eyes on the test just the same as Zelena's, "oh."
"What are you going to do?"
She let out a humourless laugh, eyes glazing as she tapped into the absolute chaos of her mind for a moment, nerves on edge and throat thick with both nausea and the need to cry. "I don't know…"
Zelena shifted a little closer beside her, their pajama clad thighs brushing lightly. Her sister wasn't one for great shows of affection and so it made it all the more difficult not to cry when she lifted an arm to wrap around Regina's shoulders. "Are you going to…"
"Keep it?" Regina finished for her, turning her head to find Zelena nodding, a gesture she returned because "yes," she was, "definitely."
The redhead seemed to breathe a sigh of relief...of worry? Regina wasn't quite sure but she was at least comforted when her sister promised "well, whatever happens," she squeezed the brunette against her a little tighter, "I won't let you go through this alone."
She allowed a single tear to fall as she nodded, her expression crumbling as one tear led to more and she began to shake. Zelena didn't coddle her, something was thankful for, but remained still and steadfast by her side. She had absolutely no idea what she was going to do but she knew one thing - her child deserved to know it's father...but how to find him?