Rating: M to be safe.
Pairings: Sirius Black/OC
Summary: Sirius has problems with his dates: he is a jerk and acts childish, according to them. (But VERY mature at snogging…) All the girls think he is impossible to date. Now he has found a girl that, well, doesn't. she like to do all the kind of things that he does, from playing war with cutlery to scaling the Astronomy Tower naked to staking claims on being people's bitches (expressly each other's). Sirius spends more and more time with Katie, and he realizes that he did what he had forbidden himself to do: he fell in love.
Disclaimer: I do not—to my immense dismay—own Sirius Black. It is the bane of my existence. Curse JK Rowling for not giving me the rights to him…apparently stalking people does not put you on their good side….Author's Note: Crap…oh! Yeah! Wait, crap, now I forgot again….erm….
Dedication: Well, I guess I can dedicate this one to…um…I really don't know. OH! I can dedicate it to Padfoot's List of Dating NoNos: 101 by CaramelBoost. SHAMELESS ADVERTISING OF PADFOOT'S LIST OF DATING NONOS 101 BY CARAMELBOOST: READ IT!!! READ IT READ IT READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MUST!!!!!!! Or else my llama, Leonardo, will eat you. Bwahaha. END SHAMELESS ADVERTISING OF PADFOOT'S LIST OF DATING NONOS 101 BY CARAMELBOOSTWhat Sirius Wasn't Supposed to Do.
To CaramelBoosr and her fantabulous story Padfoot's List of Dating NoNos 101"Alright, booys" I need a date for the latest thrip to Hogsmead." Sirius said to his fellow Marauders as the strode through the hallways of Hogwarts.
"Just grab one and go!" James spotted a red-haired girl in the crowd and flicked his wand out to split her bag. "Oi! You, with the carrot hair! You aren't ugly!" James walked up to give her a hand with the fallen school items.
"Ohmigosh, thank you!" The girl said in mock enthusiasm. "That's like the best compliment anyone has ever given me!" Then she rolled her eyes and shouldered her now whole and stuffed-to-the-brim bag, her right side sagging slightly under the weight.
"Why, you are quite welcome! And, now, that looks a bit heavy. Why don't you let me carry that bag for you?" James turned on the charm and casually took her bag, throwing it over his shoulder easily. He took her arm and led her away, saying, "My name's James. And yours?"
"Lily," She answered, smiling at the handsome boy escorting her in the exact opposite direction of her class. "Lily Evans."
"And he's off." Muttered Remus, his (very nicely shaped) nose in a book. If only he knew…But that was another story.
A/N: And if you guys like the idea, it can be…Sirius, who had completely ignored this whole exchange, was still looking through the clumps of girls for someone he had not yet snogged or shagged or both. Needless to say, he was left with minimal choosing. Almost anyone worth having was already…Aha! Score! Walking by was a group of Ravenclaw girls. There were three of them, all covered in some colorful substance of a granular quality, passing around a large mug of, um. Sprinkles. Right.
One girl had large blue hair with little plastic tubes captured in it, like long, thin flies caught in a large, spastic, electric blue spider web. The other girl was absolutely drenched with some foreign substance and wearing what looked to be some sort of ninja costume from muggle tv. Quite odd looking. And the third? Well, she was-much to Sirius's liking-carrying a broomstick and sporting-not so much to Sirius's liking-a pair of large white wings, like an owl's. She was wearing jeans, a white tanktop, and a black leather jacket. Also, her blond hair was chopped off just above the shoulder in a feathery fashion with hot pink streaks.
A/N: To some delight and some chagrin, this is NOT a Max Ride crossover. Sorry. It is just a very obsessed fan. Who likes wearing giant wings And goes to Hogwarts. NO MAX.
Sirius dodged quickly through the crowd to come at a stop in front of the winged girl. "Hi there!" He said enthusiastically.
"Hola, mi amigo. ¿Como te llama?" She looked at him with a polite, interested expression.
"Um, what?" Sirius deflated a bit, obviously not understanding. Well, more than usual, anyway.
She smiled slightly. "I said, 'hello, my friend. What is your name?'" Her smile grew even more pronounced as she saw his confused expression turn into one of shock.
"You, you don't know my name?" Sirius was stupefied. Everyone knew Sirius Black!
"I'm afraid not, amigo." She fought to maintain an innocent look as she saw Remus, who had followed Sirius, struggle to contain his own mirth.
"But everyone knows me!" Sirius voiced his thoughts. "I'm a sex god. A flirting fiend. A snogging superman. I'm unforgettable!"
"Oh!" A note of recognition registered on her face. "Yeah, yeah, you're that narcissistic, sexist, arrogant, flirtatious, annoying, jackass womanizer that the girls are always bitching about in the bathroom. No offense." Siriius's jaw dropped. This time Remus couldn't keep silent and burst into laughter. "What was your name? Sam? No, no, um, Sirius? Yeah, Sirius…um…Brown? Blue? Black? Yeah, that's it. Black. Sirius Black."
Sirius sputtered in shock for a moment, then regained his cool. "Yes, my name is Sirius Black. And they talk about me in the girls' privy, do they? What else do they say?"
"Trust me, you do not want to know." The girl let slip out a little giggle.
"Right…so…" One of her friends, the one with tubes in her hair, tapped her foot impatiently. Winged Girl sighed and looked back to her friends, communicating in that secret-stealth-ninja-female-death-stare-way that was so unknown to all humanoids of the y-chromosome persuasion.
"Yeah, anyway," Sirius captured her attention again. "I was wondering if you wanted to go on the Hogsmead trip with me this weekend?"
"Um, do you even know my name?" she looked intently at him.
Sirius, terrified again, looked to his furry little friend, Remus, for help. But there was nothing to be helpful there, for Moony was still trying to smother the snickering at his friend's expense behind a large book. Remus just shook his head like you're on you own here, mate (in that not-so-secret was of males that everyone understands) and hid behind the cover again.
"Right, um, of course I do! It's uh…" Sirius was, for once, at a loss for words. What to do? What to do? The little worker ladies in short skirts in his head had stopped working, and he was utterly out of ideas.
"Look," The girl took a step closer, "it's okay that you don't remember my name. I totally get that you're an arrogant ass that doesn't ever bother to learn a girl's name before he shags her brains out. I totally get that."
"That is not true!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah!"
"How so?"
"Well, um, I'm not so sure on that part yet."
"right, of course not."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well I'm, quote-unquote 'not so sure on that part yet'."
"Haha. Make fun of me all you want. But you still haven't answered my question." Sirius unwisely taunted her. "Are you scared?"
"Oh yeah, that's exactly it!" She exclaimed sarcastically. Then she pointed a finger at him. "Look, I will give you a chance, even though you don't deserve it. But you had better know my name by"—she gave him a pointed look (that was totally lost on him)—"our date on Saturday night, six o'clock, at the Three Broomsticks, or else."
"Got it, madame!" Sirius saluted her playfully, only registering the part where she accepted the date. Maybe Moony would explain that other part later.
She smiled genuinely at him, plainly amused at his easily-excitable self. She then turned around and started for her friends, but looked back one last time to wink at him. See what he made of that!
"Ha, score!" said Sirius as soon as the girls were out of sight, reaching out for a high five. Remus just looked at him pitifully and shook his head, then walked away.
"You never supported me!" Sirius called after his friend sniffing-ly. Then he ran after Moony, never one to be left behind.
Oo
"Oh my god, I almost feel pity for the sorry bastard!" Lessi (blue-haired girl) said to Marie (wet girl) as they trailed behind Katie (wings).
"Yes, he is a sorry bastard." Said Katie, with a malicious grin. "Or he will be, after I'm done with him!? And with that she skipped down the hall in evil glee.
"Katie!" Marie called after her friend warningly. Wicked cackling floated down the corridor.
"KATIE!" The two screamed, and ran after their crazy friend. After all, Katie was the absolute epitome of ulterior motives…Trouble was to come!
Oo
Okay, so what did you guys think? I'm looking for reviews, if you don't mind; they are much appreciated:p I have more written, but—as usual—not yet typed. Maybe I can get it done soon, but I also am of needing inspiration; just another reason to review! I, of course, have the main inspiration from Padfoot's List of Dating NoNos, by CaramelBoost (which I once again shamelessly promote).
Meh. Either way, I am readyreadyready to put up some more stuff.
Also, please review my other stories. I might have more to those, but it depends on what you think of them. Plus plus also, I have another story that I need to finish typing, but it will be posted ASAP.
Love ya all!
To Pudding, Pickles, and Parachutists.
And Pink Puddles of Porta Rican Pasta and Pork.
Oh yeah.
Oo
Bub'les