Unspoken
Her phone rang the same as it had the past three nights.
11:35pm
Brennan answered contemplating the events of the past few days.
"Hello Booth" she whispered softly.
Sitting on her couch, she waited patiently for Booth to speak.
"How are you feeling Bones?" his voice finally cracking on the other end of the phone. His words thick with tears,
Brennan's heart sank at the pain in his voice.
The past several months brought so much change in the partners. Both felt the weight of what was unsaid between them. Brennan was aware of this more than ever. She also knew their roles had reversed somewhat. She would need to be the strong one. Brennan promised Hank she would. On that last day she spent with Hank she promised a lot, to him and mostly to herself. She would prove herself worthy of the faith Hank had in her and his grandson.
"Booth, she responded grabbing a tissue. " You don't need to worry about me. Though I feel much sadness. It's your well being that is the concern."
"Oh Bones" Booth laughed half-heartedly as he paced his apartment "I'll be fine right? I have to be; besides I have you as my rock."
"Booth, are you going to be able to sleep tonight?" Brennan knew the answer but tried a different approach hoping Booth would be more open to her.
"I'll be fine Bones. I just called to see how your dinner went with your dad." His voice now stronger.
"Oh". She breathed, pausing for a moment to find the right words. "It was quite satisfactory, but um, I didn't stay long. I found myself unable to eat."
Before he could respond Brennan quickly continued.
"I am quite hungry now and unable to sleep. Would you be willing to come over tonight?"
"You need to eat Bones, and get some rest. Tomorrow's service doesn't need to affect you as well." Booth stopped his movement just wanting to reach through the phone and hold his Bones until the pain faded.
Brennan wouldn't give up easily.
"I'm no good at this Booth. Please, I really would like it if you came over. You've been so busy with arrangements, besides I have coffee started. I'll be awake no matter what. I would like to talk to you in person."
Her breath was shaky as she tried to hold back her emotions.
There was no response.
"Booth?" Brennan was painfully aware that Booths silence was more fatigue and grief than anything.
Crying lightly Booth answered.
"Yeah Bones, still here. I can be at your place in thirty minutes. See you then"
He didn't give her a chance to reply before he hung up, walking to his bathroom to wash his swollen eyes.
"Ok Booth" setting down the receiver she prepared nervously for the talk they would soon have.
Booth felt himself dragging. The past few days have been lost in a haze of tears, and memories. Both good and bad filled his mind; moments he tried to repress had flooded his being, drowning his thoughts of happier places and happier moments.
He drove on autopilot unaware of his surroundings. Lost in the past, but it was the past year that his thoughts were on. Hannah sent him a card. He smiled momentarily, remembering their whirlwind affair and consequent breakup.
She knew, it was unspoken, but she knew. He was the roadblock in continuing the relationship. A roadblock he couldn't and didn't want to avoid anymore. He was fooling himself and her. She told him she had to leave to seek her adventure, her happiness. She let him off the hook and the slap across the face he felt he deserved never came.
He felt ashamed, guilty that he had put Bones and Hannah through this. He backtracked on his words and feelings that night outside the Hoover building. Not trusting himself to not screw up and break the strong bonds he and Bones shared. He said he had to move on, and then in Afghanistan he steamrolled over his emotions without thought, and clung to the reporter he saved. The damsel.
He didn't deserve either, but both stuck by him, one as a lover, and one as a friend. Neither in the proper role.
Hannah's note was closure, for her. For him it was a wake up. She wrote what was not said before. To find happiness and break down the last walls of Temperance Brennan.
Taking a deep breath when he arrived, he heaved his tired body towards her door. His tired eyes now focused on the comfort of the threshold before him.
Brennan didn't wait for him to knock as she opened the door quickly.
Pulling Booth tightly into her embrace. His grief was hers too, to own, to take hold of.
"It will be alright Booth." She wanted those words to penetrate his mind as he held on, hands wrapped tightly around her waist. She held him just as hard letting him know that he wasn't alone.
Softly, barely audible she heard him cry. Feeling the flow of tears on her shoulder, as the greatest man in Booth's life was gone.