Just a small passing thought that would not leave me alone until I sat down and wrote it. I know I should be working on updating my other stories, but all of them are being assholes and refuse to be written. So, for now, another one-shot I guess. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint. I feel like I'm spamming the site with my incessant updating but I'm running on about three pots of coffee and I'm finishing projects that I've been working on for quite some time. No time like the present to get this shit done!

This will be a short two-shot story! Hope you enjoy!

Anyway!

I do not own Naruto or its characters, just the plot to this story.

If you enjoyed, please leave a review, favorite, and follow.

S Lyubov'yu,

Casper!

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"Oh, for the love of all that is holy and sacred.", Sakura grumbled, crushing the magazine in her fist, sorely tempted to find the nearest lighter and burn the godforsaken thing into nothing more than a pile of ash. The rumors that the magazine was spreading were getting more and more ridiculous and, of course, she was at the center of it all. Ever since she had been appointed as Naruto's second in command after he had been appointed Hokage, the rumors of a secret relationship had begun to spread like wildfire.

And worst yet, they weren't true in the slightest.

But none of the reporters seemed to care about that as long as they got their money in the end.

"Greedy, lying bastards.", the pink haired medic muttered under her breath. Nobody but her and a select few in the village knew the real truth behind all the rumors. The rumors couldn't have been more wrong. In truth, the blond-haired spit-fire of a Hokage was in a very committed relationship with Kiba. But that wasn't something that the newly appointed leader of their village was about to scream from the rooftops.

Not only was he gay, but he had a thing for dog boys.

Yeah, that would go over great with the Inuzuka clan and the elders of the village.

So, Sakura assumed that she would just have to tough it out and act like there was nothing really going on. Aside from the idiotic rumors that were going around about her and the blond. Part of her wished that Naruto would just come out and tell everybody about who his heart truly belonged to. But another part of her thought that his secret relationship with the brunette was nothing short of adorable.

Even if she had been greeted, on more than one occasion, with the sight of Naruto being bent over his desk by his lover. A single green eye twitched at the thought of having to organize all the paperwork she had sorted through once again after the blond had thrust the papers aside in the heat of the moment. Yes, she was happy for them, but it really was getting annoying. With a huff of confusion, she tightened her grip on the flimsy pieces of paper crumpled in her grasp.

"Something seems to have pissed you off, Sakura. And on such a nice day, too.", a voice called, their voice laced with a small hint of amusement.

Sakura turned her head to the familiar voice of her former sensei, "Yeah, just more rumors about the supposed relationship between Naruto and me. I swear, people will write or say just about anything to make a quick buck.", she explained with a sigh, waving the crumpled magazine in her hand around with annoyance.

"Ah, so they're still trying to convince the village that you and Naruto aren't just doing paperwork up in the tower.", Kakashi sighed, pulling the crumpled papers out of his former student's hand and smoothed them out as best he could before reading the article. His eyebrow raised at the insinuations that were being fed to the public. Even for a pervert like himself, the thought of any of his precious students doing anything remotely sexual made him cringe in revulsion. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were like his own children, he wasn't ready to accept that they had gone through puberty. Much less lost their virginity.

In truth, he was pretty sure that the things that the media were publishing were bordering on indecent and illegal. And it took a lot for the Copy Ninja to think something was indecent. He read porn in public for Kami's sake!

"I swear, wish every issue they publish, their insinuations are getting more and more disgusting and repulsive. Never in my life did I think that a stapler and a ruler could make me want to curl up and die.", the pink haired woman cringed. The very thought of having her ass paddled by the man she considered her brother made her want to hurl. She just prayed that Sasuke hadn't read this weeks addition yet.

"Oh God, he would probably go to the Nara forest, dig up one of Hidan's arms, and beat the shit out of the reporters with it.", she thought with a small grimace.

"You were thinking about Sasuke beating the shit out of reporters with one of the Immortals appendages again, weren't you.", Kakashi accused.

"Damn right I was.", she admitted, not even remotely ashamed to admit it.

"Thought so, do you think it would be best to bring this to Naruto so he can do something about it?", he asked, waving the magazine around, a silver eyebrow raised in question.

"Probably for the best. He's going to flip shit though. I just hope that I don't walk in on him and Kiba again. Eight times is more than enough for one life time."

"You've seen those two going at it?"

"Kiba has clan markings on his ass cheeks. Naruto admitted to biting them on more than one occasion."

"I could have lived the rest of my life without that information. I won't be able to look at either of them the same for quite some time."

"Feel my pain, old man."

"What happened to the cute little pink haired girl that respected me?", Kakashi whined.

"She found your porn stash and died of a stroke at the tender age of fourteen.", Sakura cringe.

"I see your point, to the Hokage tower then?", he sighed.

"Let's get this over with.", she replied with a sigh of her own.

And so the former student-teacher duo made their way towards the Hokage tower, fully prepared to beat some sense into Naruto and command him to make the horrible rumors stop. Either he was going to come out of the closet willingly or Sakura was going to drag him out with a chakra laden fist.

The choice was his.

I couldn't help but snicker like a mad woman while I typed this and I have no idea why. I blame the coffee. Sue me, it tasted good.

Anyway...

If you enjoyed, please leave a review, favorite, and follow!

Until Next Time!