Author's Note: This is a reasonably short one-shot about one of the less honoured pairings in the Warriors Archive: Goldenflower and Tigerclaw/star. I never actually thought much of this pairing - I didn't really like it, and I didn't really hate it - until today, when I was just mulling things over in my mind, thinking of a good pairing to write a one-shot about. And for some reason, this pairing just seemed to come to mind. I consider it more of a one-sided love; Goldenflower loved Tigerclaw/star, but he didn't love her back...or so I've interpreted it.

It's slightly dark, too. I seem to like my dark one-shots (*cough*These Dark Secrets of Ours*cough*), but I think it's necessary. Well, maybe not, but it really does seem to shape this and TDSOO. So, I present to you: Overstepped, a Golden/Tiger one-shot.

Overstepped

One-shot

I remember that day, the one where I fell in love with you and you didn't seem to notice me.

I remember that day, the one where you told me you loved me, and I thought you did, though, secretly, you spun your web of lies.

I remember that day, when I was told I was having your kits, and you seemed happy, for you were, but not because you loved me.

I remember that day, when I found out you killed my leader, and you left the Clan for a higher calling.

I remember that day, when our kits were born, and you had another mate by then.

I remember that day, when our kits were apprenticed, and you weren't there to watch.

I remember that day, when Tawnypaw left ThunderClan, and it was all your fault, all because of that web of lies.

I remember that day, when I heard you'd died, and I didn't feel anything at all; there was no anger, no sorrow, no mourning, no shock. I simply didn't care. And maybe that was best for me, then. Maybe that was best for Bramblepaw, who had already lost a father - he couldn't lose a mother as well. Maybe that was best for ThunderClan, because what use was I if I were merely the shell of a cat?

I thought, then, that I would never look back on what had come to be; that I would never spend nights outside the Camp, looking up at the stars and remembering you; that I would never feel that sudden grief when I saw places that reminded me of you; that I would never see you in my son; that I would never feel jealous of her, who bore your other kits; that I wouldn't still be in love with you.

But that was what hurt me the most, after the time when I felt nothing. The fact that I was still in love with you, and that you had never given one mousetail for me. You pretended to love me because you wanted to have someone to carry on your legacy. You thought I was gullible, and you were right; I was the air-headed queen who never thought there was anything other than love in this world. Hate, to me...it just didn't exist.

I wonder where you are now - StarClan has visited me and told me not to dwell on the past, but I can't help it. For those short moons, you were everything to me, and I cherish the moments we spent together. I sometimes go to StarClan, and pace their moonlit skies, just to see if you're in their ranks. You're never there, though, and I always ask them about you, ask them where you are. They say nothing; they ignore me, almost, turning around and muttering superstitiously to each other.

Then, I wander the banks of StarClan's Moonpool, where they go to connect with the living. Bluestar saw me there, once, not long ago, and she spoke to me. She told me that there are better things in the world. That the past is not everything. That I must stay happy for my kits. That I must live on, healthy, determined, and strong, and forget about the past.

I asked her where you were. You should have seen her expression. She thought I was joking, at first, but then she realised - I had always and will always be in love with you, and she told me that there are worse places a cat can go. I asked her where these places were. I told her I wanted to be with you.

She told me I was a good cat. That I was a loyal cat. That I was so loyal that after you, I kept on loving you, despite what you'd done, and never took on another mate. She told me I was too devoted for my own good, that I must stop mooning over you, stop looking for you, and rest in my old age, because I'd had a good life, and what I might see could destroy me - but I didn't care, as long as it meant seeing you again.

It was another one of these times, when I visited StarClan by my own will, that I first saw it - the border between light and darkness, good and evil. Where the sun shone in StarClan, only the faint, eerie glow of the lichen was there to light the path. I saw Bluestar again, there, on the border between StarClan and the Dark Forest - I asked her to answer one question truthfully. Were you or were you not living in that place? She told me, honestly, that you were.

Despite what you'd done, I knew you didn't deserve to be there. I was so desperate that I even offered to switch places with you, when I died. Bluestar told me, coldly and severely,

"StarClan does not trade cats with the Dark Forest. There are boundaries between good and evil; and some of them, Goldenflower, are not meant to be overstepped."

She was wrong. I knew she was wrong. Couldn't they just give you one chance? Just one more chance? You were a good cat, at heart, and you didn't mean to do what you did. I know you didn't. The cat I knew wouldn't have done that. You'd changed, yes, but you didn't mean to do it.

That was why I asked to see you one more time, and that was why StarClan summoned you to the border, just so you could see me. You didn't look pleased to see me - you looked angry, unhappy, and you weren't pleased to see me. And that made me wonder whether you were still infatuated with that other she-cat; Sasha, or whatever her name was. By now, that scrawny rogue would have given up on you. I bet she never even loved you. I bet you never even loved her. I told you what I should have said to her. You didn't deserve my disdain when you already had so much. I didn't mean to blurt out,

"I hate you."

Now, as I lie here, struggling against the grips of greencough, I reflect over my life. You broke my heart. You broke me. You ruined my life. But at the same time, you were one of the best things that ever happened to me, and I never stopped loving you. You've taught me one lesson, and that is that love does have boundaries. It's just that you hadn't overstepped the boundary I'd made for you.

I can hear voices, whispers of concern - that's Leafpool's voice I hear now, her soothing, quiet, voice, telling me to relax. She's giving catmint to me, and although my vision is blurred, the strong, pungent scent of it reaches my nose. I know there is no point giving it to me - I am too far gone. But right now I don't seem to care, and I eat them up eagerly, bathing in the momentary relief it gives me, before another cough racks my body. All this time, I'm thinking about you, and you only.

Then, I hear Leafpool's grave voice.

"I think these are her final moments. You should say your goodbyes now."

Brambleclaw steps forwards, and he leans down to me, whispering in my ear that he loves me and that he will always look to me for guidance. Don't fall too deeply in love, I thought back at him, because otherwise it'll hurt too much when you have to let them go. But he can't hear me, because I'm thinking, and I'm too weak to speak.

And then, our daughter's scent washes over me and I try to open my eyes and get a look at her - I haven't seen her for so long. And, like Brambleclaw, she tells me she loves me. She says she's sorry that she left me, but her destiny lay elsewhere, and that she hopes I have accepted that.

Is that what happened with you? Did your destiny lay elsewhere? Is that why you killed all those cats, and led your cats to destruction by the paw of Scourge? You're not perfect, and I think I could come to terms with that, but now I reconsider how I have spent my life. Now I realise that maybe I shouldn't have spent seasons with that numb feeling, that space in my heart which only you and you alone could fill. Now I see what you have done, and I've opened my eyes truly for the first time in my life. I can't do this any more, keep on believing that you still love me, and keep on believing that you are a good cat at heart. I've finally given up on shielding my mind from the truth. I've seen who you are now.

And I'm no longer willing to love you. I'm no longer willing to swap places with you. I don't think I love you any more. I don't think I can. Now I think I feel sorry for Sasha, because you must have broken her heart to. Perhaps you thought that we would keep loving you. Perhaps you thought that our love would protect you in death. You were a fool. You don't know how wrong you were. Because, eventually, you do overstep the boundaries. And I've realised, now, that I kept on loving you for too long, I kept on believing in you for too long, I kept on lowering my expectations of you so you'd never cross that boundary, that border, between love and hate.

Did you think you were too good for me? Because if you did, you're a fool. You were never too good for me. I was too good for you - Bluestar taught me that, even though I didn't believe it at first.

I was a good cat, in life. You were not. In death, I'll be a good cat. You haven't been. I don't know how I ever fell in love with you; maybe I overstepped one of your boundaries.

You told me things, and I believed you; you said you loved me, and I believed you. And now you're gone and you've torn my heart in two - but I suppose, I was the fool who fell in love with you.

You are Tigerstar. You overstepped a boundary between good and evil.

And you are no longer loved.

Author's Note: You could say it was OOC, but we never really see much of Goldenflower in the story, so I was just...elaborating on her viewpoint a bit. May be a bit ramble-like...but it was fun to write. So, review with your opinions :)

Queen Of The Pens