I Know

"Jean, I know I shouldn't have come all the way here. I know you're with your family. I know I should have said something—anything—sooner. I know I've wasted so much time and I've been a bloody fool, and I—"

"You know a lot of things, Lucien," she interrupted.

His racing heart calmed slightly at hearing her speak. He felt some of the tension leave his body. "It took me far too long to know the important things though," he whispered, taking her hand.

Jean willingly gave him her hand to hold, taking a small step closer to him. "That happens sometimes," she replied encouragingly.

He smiled so softly, she thought her heart would melt in her chest. "Jean, I…"

She cut him off again. "I know."

And he couldn't stop himself. He took her face in his hands just as she put her arms around his neck. Her mouth moved beneath his in an intoxicating rhythm. Lucien felt like his heart might burst.

He stumbled forward as his hands moved from her face to her arms to her waist and back, clawing at any part of her he could reach. Jean felt her back bump against the wall, and she didn't care, reveling in being pinned by his strong body. Her fingers caressed his hair and his beard as she continued to kiss him passionately.

And suddenly, she turned her face away. "I can't. I can't, I can't," she murmured desperately. She remembered where they were, in a hotel room in Adelaide. She had moved to Adelaide. He had come with her. Too little, too late. They couldn't do this.

"I know, I'm sorry," Lucien breathed. He removed his hands from her and placed his palms on the wall on either side of her head, giving her ample room to escape him. He couldn't bring himself to move much more than that. His head hung in disgrace, ashamed of the animalistic way he'd practically attacked her.

Jean didn't like seeing him like this, being upset at himself for something she was just as much at fault for. She stroked his hair and his cheeks, trying to tilt his face up to look at her. But in doing so, she got just a little too close. So close that she couldn't stop herself.

And before either knew what was happening, they were kissing again. Jean hungrily sucked on his lip, brushing it with her tongue. She moaned as he opened his mouth to her. They tasted each other like dying men in a desert finally given water.

Lucien took her in his arms and lifted her, spinning around so they could land on top of the bed. They didn't break apart as he pushed her jacket off her shoulders and she wrapped her ankle around his leg.

Eventually, they needed to catch their breath. Lucien pulled away ever so slightly. They both smiled, panting at each other. But Jean's eyes turned sad.

"Lucien, we can't."

He sighed. "I know. I'm so sorry, Jean." He rolled off her and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

Jean pushed herself up to a seated position. "You aren't the only one to blame," she admitted. She stood up and readjusted her jacket. "I should go."

"Yes, I suppose." He sat up to say goodbye. "Jean, I lo—"

She interjected one final time. "I know," she said, smiling. She leaned in to give him one last quick kiss. "I love you, too."