a maka and star fic for the feels
She already knew that they wouldn't last.
Maka was by no means intuitive, but there were signs within their relationship that called out to even the most dense person. Like for starters, the most obvious, Black Star told her straight up, from the get go, that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship. He was in town for the summer, wanting a bit of thrill just before he went back from whence he came.
"It's all for fun, alright?"
And she agreed to that without question, because that's what she'd already decided herself. Afraid of commitment, afraid that whoever she'd love would just leave her anyways- perhaps it was better like this. So why not go out with the boy she knew will disappear in the end, save her a little heartbreak by knowing just how it would all play out?
As a visitor, Black Star hadn't seen most of the area. He talked about the clear waves that crashed in the evening, of the lovely sounds that a resident had been trained to call an annoyance. He pointed to a page in a guide book that he snagged from the airport, tapping animatedly of the so called bike trails that lead to the bluffs and of the sites that he was sure Maka had passed before. As silly as it is, watching him was like watching a puppy who found magic in the most mundane things; she found it endearing for a beat before shoving the book into his face, teasing his childlike excitement.
They started off slow as any couple did in the beginning.
Hugging after a day was the first step, then holding hands during a date was the second. Maka was careful to not move too quickly, functioning on a timely schedule that she believed would give them the most out of their relationship. She let him wrap his arm around her waist by the third date, then kiss her cheek by the fourth. And on the fifth? They were making out against a tree that Maka swore no one ever passed, yelping loudly when a gang of teenagers showed up ringing the bells on their bikes and whooping to the evening sky.
Embarrassment wasn't her strongest suit; Maka hid her face into Black Star's chest until he drew her out with laughter and kisses to her forehead. "Babe," he said. "Didn't know you had a thing for that shit." They continued as if there was no chance that they would be caught again.
Soon later, he'd convinced her first to show him around her favorite places, let her take him to the scenes that she'd shown others before him. They took walks down the shore, combing for the shells that Black Star wanted to send to his aunt who lived no where next to the ocean. Though the ones that they found weren't too big, he took them anyway, wading into the sea until he was ankle deep and washing them in the waters. While he was there, he stuck a hand into the bottom and collected a fist full of muddy sand, grinning happily when it turned into goo in the air and trickled down his wrist.
Maka turned her nose, telling him that there was no chance that she'd hold that dirty hand on the way back. And yet she did, swinging it back and forth with a sand dollar in her other palm.
Coming home late from the long day, crusted salts under her nails, Spirit asked her what kept her for so long. She replied smoothly that it was just a friend. Showing him around was eating up most of her attention, but she promised her papa that everything was alright, that he was leaving for the mainland in another few months. Unconvinced, Spirit warned her not to lose track of time, but she assured him again that she wouldn't lose a second to this boy.
In her room, she thought to herself though…
Even if it wasn't for keeps, can I keep you just for a second?
She was enjoying their outings, playing along with their improv kisses, tilting her head where he wanted her to. His touches were clearly well practiced, effective. Of all her short term relationships, Black Star's came most effortlessly to her. And despite not knowing each other beforehand, they behaved like they had. So he was a little different; there was still nothing to worry about. She just wanted to know the boy she was dating.
That next morning, if she could even call it that, she woke up to the sound of tapping on her window. Jerking up from a less than pleasant dream, Maka walked to her curtains, drawing them aside and ready to scare of any sea gulls that seemed to be pecking the glass. They should have been asleep during that time, she thought groggily, believing that anyone who was awake before the sun was committing a crime.
But face to face was Black Star rather than an avian army. He leaned against the frame, tall figure barely fitting and taking up more space than she expected. Voice muffled, he coaxed her closer, asking her to work the latch, pulling her outside once she had. With a knee on her window sill and her hand in his, she hastily asked him where and why? It was still dark and she wasn't dressed properly at all.
He didn't answer her, grinning widely and hoisting her up onto his back as to not get her clean soles dirty. From there, Black Star went along the trail behind her house, careful not to jostle her too roughly, still evading her questions. Instead he laughed, "Babe, don't you trust me?"
Resigning herself where she was, Maka buried herself where his neck met his shoulders, choosing to get just a couple more minutes of sleep rather than waste her breath. His warmth, his smell, was comforting to her, she discovered. There was no need for a blanket when she had him holding onto her against the early mist.
Waking up again the second time was much nicer than the first. He'd only needed to turn his head and kiss her forehead to stir her back to life, letting her register where he'd taken her at her own pace after wiping her drool on his shirt. They were back at the beach on top of a sand dune that held itself up with plenty of beachgrass. The sky was several tints lighter, glowing faintly since the last time her eyes were open. And she knew why he'd taken her out then. Placing her onto his lap, more than careful of her indoor pajamas, he nodded his chin to the horizon.
They didn't need to wait for very long, maybe just for a minute before the sun peeked behind the waves, turning the sky a gentle shade of orange that merged into a blue gradient. Maka must have seen that view thousands of times as a child, sneaking out of her window alone to see the sunrise before crawling back into her bed, only to be caught with dirty feet by her father at breakfast. She supposed that she didn't have to worry about that this time around, tucking her legs closer to Black Star and feeding off his heat. And when she looked up to him, she saw that he was already watching her.
With the sun inching higher, it casted a growing field of light across the beachfront. The rays gently touched his tanned face and the same ones turned the inner ring of his bright green irises a golden yellow. Burning under his gaze, she felt her cheeks heating up, suddenly feeling like time should've stopped then.
Leaning back on his arms, he had a smile softer than she'd ever seen on him. "Told you. Have some faith in me, ya?"
He used his chest to nudge her shoulders towards the ocean, but the scene failed to impress, as she knew what he looked like behind her. Luckily for her, sunrises weren't something that the world fell short of. She defied his notion and reached for his lips in the hopes that their kiss might slow time, make their moment last just a little longer.
Putting her head back onto the pillow was hard to do later that morning. Maka hadn't revisited a place with Black Star since he'd come to the island, and with that early trip, she felt just a smidge slighted by herself. How dare she let him claim something that belonged to her, to show her something that she'd already experienced long before. And even worse, how dare she be unable to wipe that smugness off his face, bodies touching, and let herself be drawn to it even deeper.
Out of pure pettiness, she decided to plan the next trip. But she found that the beach quickly became their date spot of choice, especially the cove just beyond the popular area. Where the waters grew calm, where the sand was finer and even the seagulls abandoned, Maka and Black Star made that place theirs. Along the shore were small rocks that were smoothed by erosion, dusty and imperfect in form. But with five or six in her palm, Maka grew accustomed to the feeling, preferring its fuzzy-like texture and crumbling layer.
Black Star placed the seventh one on top of the rest, cackling when they all tumbled away except one in the coincidental shape of a heart that fit snuggly in the center of her hand. The indent was rough, slightly discolored within the crack. She examined it for a moment before pelting it at Star, hitting his back and laughing as he chased her down, foregoing the rest of the collection that dropped back onto the sand. Though before they left for dinner, he managed to find that very one that Maka threw and pocketed it.
She figured that he saw beauty in those stones, as if there was something in them that wasn't there before. And how could there be- they've been in the same place since the morning tide. Was there something that she could learn from him? She hoped that it weren't true, especially since she couldn't stand to make the boy any more memorable than he already was.
But as he tugged her along, stopping every so often to point out something that he found interesting, unable to stop talking about the wild flowers that sprang in the middle of the road, she grew more confused. He told her that they weren't just weeds. They were resilient, and that someday he hoped to be like them too. He liked how untampered the island was, how they worked with the wind and shared the land with the people who lived there. And he would go on and on down that train of thought. Oversharing was a nasty habit of his, and Maka was more than happy to let him talk to fill the space.
Still, there were words begging to be said to him.
Teach her to see beauty in the very things that she'd seen too often. Remind her what it meant to be a wanderer, an explorer of the earth. And show her how to fall in love again, even though she really shouldn't, especially after all this time.
If nothing is for keeps, can I keep you just for a minute?
They were stretched across the top of a sand dune within a couple of nights. Maka nibbled on glasswort that she'd found on the way there while Star was playing in the grasses surrounding them, refusing her offer to try her evening snack. According to him, just because some things were edible, it didn't mean that they should eat them. And she laughed at that, discreetly spitting out bits of the plant that she didn't feel like swallowing. The late summer glasswort was much more tasty to her, but she was unwilling to wait those couple of weeks until they were ready.
Calling her attention away from the red sunset, he reached for her hand and presented a woven ring made of beachgrass. It was jagged in some parts; the smooth reeds didn't help hide Star's poor craftsmanship. However, it was made carefully enough to hold its shape, thick enough to be noticeable from afar. And it's a sweet gesture that made her hold her breath. She blushed as he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. As if he had the intent to get married at all.
But she let him slip the ring onto her finger, daring to let the moment tug at her heart.
He chuckled lowly, almost sadly, "Would've been cute if it were real."
And suddenly the moment tugged in a different way, away from any direction that could have possibly been entertained. She examined it quietly, holding back whatever comment she had, choosing instead to tease him on something easy, like how she should have tricked him with a stem of glasswort.
His laugh sounded best when it was unrestrained, she decided.
Dusting themselves off once the sun had disappeared, they made their way to Maka's home, making time pass slowly by engaging in a competition to find the first star to shine that night. Truth be told, she wasn't looking too hard. Living there for as long as she had, Maka already knew which constellations would appear, what places would give her the best view. Admitting it to others was hard to do, though. Because how could she tell that boy that he shone brightest no matter the time of day?
She just didn't, choosing to lose gracefully as he smiled triumphantly, pointing at the wrong cluster of stars.
After Maka was dropped off in her backyard, she chose to remain there for a while longer. Searching the sky for the answer to her problems, twisting the ring on her finger, she wondered about how much longer she could keep up that ruse. It was true to her, as certain as the stars, that there were things that were made to only last for a while, not staying longer than they have to. Those summer stars could stand to give her another lesson in loss. And she wondered how far she would let herself fall, knowing that with the change of seasons, Star would be gone as well.
Pulling the ring off, she knelt onto the dirt ground and dropped it into a hole that she made quickly with just her fingers. It would decompose with time, Maka believed, letting nature take its course without her necessarily imposing her will onto it. She only looked back once on her way inside. Regret was becoming something that Maka didn't know she was capable of feeling. But she continued to her room, picking out the dirt under her nails.
Luckily, Star didn't ask about the ring ever again.
Instead, he asked her about other things, curious about her future and her life. They were always on the topic of him before, though she would chime in during some moments about herself whenever it was relevant. Never did he want to make an entire conversation about her though- or maybe he had, and she'd only noticed now that he was direct. Star watched her talk, nodding during moments of approval and echoed her words just to be sure during some points.
She was content with where she was, taking comfort in things that were familiar, yet strangely always craving for more and more. Like she wanted to build on her current world, she supposed. To take things and apply them, to improve and to continue to grow in the places where she decided to settle- that was her drive, maybe. Something like that.
And he was silent for a while, processing what she had to say. "So, you're pretty set on staying here, huh?"
Perhaps she was. It wasn't any of his business though.
But lately, strangely, she was starting to look at her home a little differently. How long had that tree been there, waving to her every morning? What lived in the wildflowers; when do they tend to revisit, and from where? And how long does it take for those bits of seaglass to reemerge up on the surface of the sand? Maka wondered when her curiosity evaded her, voicing it out loud to no one in particular.
Star agreed to go with her to check, just because he wanted to know too.
Though, he didn't collect much that afternoon, dropping what little seaglass he had into Maka's mason jar. Part of him seemed distracted, and a part of her knew it was different than his regular lack of focus. There was certainly something bothering him that day, she mused. But if he didn't want to tell, then she wasn't the one who was going to ask.
Maka thought that he liked these sorts of little trinkets though. He was beginning to fill his pockets with much more than just random rocks and pressed flowers. Like he wanted to take a bit of the island home with him.
Caught deep in her silence, she squealed when a familiar feel of arms wrapped her waist, hoisting her up into the air. With a loud cackle and more strength than anyone should have, Star spun on his heel around in the sand. The abrupt motion caused Maka to release the jar, and it flew somewhere she couldn't keep track of. But it was the least of her worries in that moment. Dizzy thoughts replaced the ill tension and an involuntary laugh bubbled from her throat. She tried to reach for him and instead was met with a ready mouth, peppering her face after he plopped them both onto the ground.
Those same kisses eventually grew heavier, hands roamed freely in every which way imaginable. A particular press of his lips to hers made her yearn for more, so she retracted long enough to let him know. She'll go crazy if he did that again.
And he laughed in her ear, hot breath sending chills down her neck, "Ain't that so, babe?"
It wasn't fair.
If nothing is for keeps, can't I keep you for more than a minute?
She was asking for too much now, asking to keep him for longer than the time she had. It was unfamiliar to be so selfish, like she was betraying herself in the very ways she warded against. He was to return to whence he came, she reminded herself, finding too much heartache filled the void when she tried to banish her straying thoughts.
It seemed too late for her now. They went further than just "attraction," moved beyond a simple "hey, I like you." Maka was beginning to grow just a touch more desperate for what little days he had left, anything that let her be closer to Star-
When did he become just Star to her?
Mortified. Embarrassed. Afraid. Words that described basic emotions held nothing to how lost she felt. She was a fool, a fool with a stubborn heart that craved for things she wasn't allowed to have. A fool who reached for things that made her powerless in spite of it being out of her own discretion.
And she just kept coming back, over and over again to the end of their days.
They agreed to break up a week before he left, giving him a bit of time to transition back into his bachelor status and for reasons that they thought made sense in the far beginnings of the summer. The ones that didn't mean anything to her now.
"Don't miss me too much, alright Maks?"
"I wouldn't dream of it, Star."
It was a good time that they had, and she swore that she made the most of it while she had him. So why does she want to keep holding onto his hand, as if parting with him would break her in some way. Even in front of the airport's security checkpoint, Maka had no intention of letting him go.
She broke every rule that she had within that last week with him, loved with every bit of her being that she could spare. It turned out that there was plenty of more room to fall for him, so much that she couldn't stand the thought of not seeing him tomorrow. But today was the last day.
Forgetting their terms and decisions, ignoring everything else that went along with it, she gave him a final kiss. Tiptoeing on her feet, breathing in the traces of summer, Maka presented him the sweetest thank you for the love, for the adventures, for his time.
"Fly safe, babe."
He left, walking to the entrance of the terminal with a tight chest and a heavy heart.
It wasn't for keeps anyway, but he wished he kept her for more than just for a minute.