There, By Houshi-sama's Side

(A short fic in which Sango contemplates her feelings for Miroku and her life in general. Written in Sango's POV.)

...sucks. Life royally sucks. Families suck, friends suck, everything in general SUCKS and sucks A LOT! I am Sango, an honorable Tajiiya, age sixteen and I'm already tipping over a deep cliff of depression, from which noone could ever return. My feet are slipping, my hair blows wildly behind my back and it's to be the end for me. I'm crawling into a hole of depression and noone will ever find me there. EVER. And this cliff and dark consuming hell-hole which is my life is beckoning me through depression, eager to suck out my soul and watch me torture myself, while being forced to live. A cruel thing depression, it is indeed. Casting myself off this cliff of depression would mean the end for me, but what else is there? The beginning has gone and the middle sucks, so why wait for the end? I will not wait patiently in my room for it to come knock on my door, I will seek it out myself. To jump off and live out my life empty, how I wish it was so. That's how I felt now. Little do I know, though, the best thing and possibly worst thing that has happened to me, will hold me back, in a warm embrace, and keep me from casting myself away from sweet life forever. This thing, or rather person, who is my life-rope urging me to hang on, giving me something to live for, has a name. Houshi-sama... or rather Miroku.

After another depressing encounter with Kohaku, I sit sadly in my room of the inn which that, lying, no-good, cheating, playboy, rotten, corrupted, pervert of a monk has gotten us using his ever amazing line of, 'There is an evil aura looming over your household.' Evil aura my butt! He just wants a comfortable place to sleep, and if he's lucky, some naive village women.

I sigh and rest my chin on my knees, Houshi-sama was hurt again, thanks to me. But then again, why do I care? I'm just another cheap thrill to him, a simple passing in his life, to grope or leer at on occasion. I will most likely soon shun myself out of his life forever, and he'll find another woman for his perverted needs. I can't help find myself hoping though, that's untrue. Maybe I'm more than that. Maybe someone out there actually cares for me and I can willingly trust and give my heart to them.

I hear the door creak open and look up. Ah, speak of the devil. The perverted wannabe monk devil. Houshi-sama sits beside me and looks over my face, his eyes filled with worry. Those pretty violet eyes I could just lose myself in... wait! Where the heck did that come from?! Oh well, back to the houshi. "Is something wrong, Sango?" My eyes twitch. Sango. That name. That annoying name and the perverted, familiar way he says it. Doesn't he respect me enough to at least put a 'chan' after it? Well, considering he just said it, probably not. He rests his hand on my shoulder and says again, "Sango?"

I cringe at his touch. Gods, would he stop doing that?! Always making me feel this way, it's such a nuisance! And when he says my name, his sweet velvety voice, how I long for him to say my name more. I long to speak his name, with my own voice instead of saying 'Houshi-sama, Houshi-sama' all the time. But no. That would show a sign of care and trust. And really, who would want to fall in love with a guy who may be sucked into his own hand within a year or so?! No, bad Sango, bad! This isn't the time for negative thoughts!

Maybe I should say something back because Houshi-sama is currently giving me a strange look. Well that would make sense since he's been calling my name for the past five minutes. Weird. I brush his hand off my shoulder and shake my head. "Nothing, Houshi-sama. I'm fine." Houshi-sama smiles that oddly annoying and goofy but loveable smile that I despise and adore at the same time and says, "You're bad at lying. Is it about Kohaku?" I nod, lowering my head, my bangs falling over my eyes. He wraps his arm around my waist, and I eye it suspiciously. But his hand that is 'possessed by a demon' on a regular basis, miraculously behaves. "I'm here if you need me."

Yes you're always here aren't you? To lend a hand, in more ways than one. Baka. But I rest my head on his shoulder anyways, inhaling deeply as I take in his warmth. Oh, so now I'm getting waffy? Oh well. It was bound to happen anyway, I've been hanging around Kagome way too much. With her teenagey, girly, romantic, wistful attitude. And those stupid romance books she brings from her time! I've been reading one about Rome- something and Julie-something. Stupid novel must be going to my head, because I'm imagining Houshi-sama sitting in a tree, spouting words of love and poetry, while I listen, interested on a balcony.

But back to the real world. Maybe I've been in a daze too long, because I can feel a hand on a place it shouldn't be and I prepare myself to strike. But the strike never comes. Houshi-sama grabs my hand in the process of coming down and pulls me closer. Chills run up my spine. Curse those hormones!

He whispers into my hair, "I'll stay and comfort you if you want. But smile okay?" I hide my face in his chest, because of my dumb blushing problem that never seems to solve itself. Did I ever mention that he is very warm and soft? And comfy. Ooo, soft fluffy pillow thoughts... curse it! I'm turning into a heartsick school girl with no brain! I heard Kagome say that once, wonder what it means...

I fall asleep like in that, in his arms, and awake the same way. He was nice enough to stay there, and he has that hard to describe charming smile I mentioned earlier plastered on his face. Is he really asleep? My question answers itself when I feel a hand groping my butt. Nope, definitely not asleep. "HENTAI!"

Houshi-sama sighs in defeat as I stomp out of the room, a red hand mark on his cheek. We are leaving again to find more Shikon Shards. Ho hum. Ain't that the story of my life? Houshi-sama and I walk alongside eachother and he looks like he has something on his mind. "Something the matter, Houshi-sama?" He looks up when he hears his name or title rather and smiles again. Grr... how I hate him for that. "Nothing is wrong, Sango. Thank you for caring." I smile giddily to myself and am brave enough to do one thing I've been dreaming to do. "Well then, let's get going, shall we, Miroku?" He halts at the sound of his name coming from my mouth then I smile and that lecherous grin replaces his shocked one. He obliges and follows after me. Wonder what's on his mind? Oh well, I shall find out soon enough, as soon as he removes his hand from my rear...

The End

First fanfic but definitely not last!

(Okay, yeah, I know that was very random. But this idea was just lingering in my head for so long and I just HAD to type it out. I like it very much, if I do say so myself. As you can see, Miroku and Sango did not actually 'get together' in this one, in a manner of speaking. It's just a sweet moment I'd like to see animated. Yeah, the beginning was depressing and dark. Let off! The way I wrote this was weird. I've never been one to linger on dark depressing thoughts, but as you can see, it ended up being waffy/funny. MWAHAHA! I'm proud of myself! This was my first ACTUAL COMPLETED fanfic, and I love it! Not too shabby for a first try huh? Okay, so now I'm just rambling. Anyways, this was my first attempt at a fanfic and I was super bored when I wrote this. But it didn't come out as most stories do if you write them when you are bored. I enjoyed writing this fic and I think it turned out halfway decent. I like writing fanfics, so I think I will continue by writing more of them. Wish me luck!)