Partially inspired by TheMinttu's comic of the same name on dA. Partially from my own irritation. Took about five minutes to write.
Such a lovely day today. It was sunny in Leyawiin (amazing), nobody had died today (amazing), the Argonians didn't smell like rotton fish (amazing)...
The day was so (amazingly) lovely, young Willien decided to hop on into a store and shop.
The shopkeep asked him if he'd needed any help, and he replied no of course. He only wanted to browse. He had no intention on buying anything in particular.
But then young Willien made the sad, sad mistake of picking up a rather lovely apple from a bin.
"THEIF!"
Blood flew across the room, thick, dark and arterial. Three arrows stuck out of young Willien's back like darts out of a dartboard; another guard dressed in green and chainmail attacked his front. He died before he hit the floor.
"FEAR NOT, CITIZENS! THE OUTLAW HAS BEEN SUBDUED AND BROUGHT TO JUSTICE FOR HIS HEINOUS CRIMES. YOU MAY PROCEED."
All of Leyawiin rejoiced.