Man of Rusted Steel

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC.

One Shot

A man with black hair, wearing a red and blue costume, walked out in the conference room in the Watchtower. His name is Clark Kent, the hero known as Superman, and he was in a foul mood,

"Ladies and gentlemen, and to all the readers out there; I have to talk to you tonight. I have a major concern that was brought to my attention recently."

Flash, Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, John Stewart, J'onn, and Batman were sitting at the conference table. Hawkgirl quipped,

"Is this about the barbecue sauce incident? I told you, Flash did that."

The Fastest Man Alive blinked,

"Wait, what?"

Superman folded his arms,

"No, it is not that. It's about a certain DVD that was released recently. I mean, come on; people! I'm the Man of Steel! The Last Son of Krypton! Why does Batman get top billing AND his own action figure when you buy the disc?" (1)

Batman smirked,

"I'm more marketable than you are."

Clark glared,

"And, that's another thing; Batman has two hit movies, a new cartoon show, and a new movie supposedly coming out in the next year or so? What have I got?" (2)

Flash quipped,

"Three failed movies and a scar on your left butt cheek." (3)

Hawkgirl grinned,

"And you would know that how, exactly?"

J'onn was looking at a computer,

"I have been looking on this fan fiction website, and Batman fictions outnumber Superman fictions at least ten to one." (4)

Clark groaned,

"Doesn't anyone appreciate me anymore? I mean, there's Smallville, that TV show is popular with people, right?"
Batman said,

"True, but it's on its last legs. Also, I distinctly remember that, the first movie to be released was 'The Death of Superman', and you had an entire toy line dedicated to it." (5)

Flash quipped,

"Which is probably in the clearance sale bin by now."

Superman sighed,

"That's not the point. I just want to be respected."
Diana huffed,

"You men act like it is all about you. Here's a reality check for you, Superman; Batman got top billing, and his own action figure. Get used to it."

Shayera smirked,

"Wonder Woman DVD sales dropping, princess?"

Wonder Woman shot back,

"At least I have a movie. And a mildly successful TV series." (6)

Flash laughed,

"Yeah, in the 1970s."

Diana glared,

"At least it was on for more than one season, Flash." (7)

Green Lantern smirked,

"And Hal got his own movie, which I'm glad the Green Lanterns are FINALLY getting the attention they deserve." (8)

Superman groaned,

"Oh, that is just great. Green Lantern gets his own movie, Wonder Woman has hers, Batman has two, and I get chopped liver! Thanks a lot, Warner Brothers!"

Hawkgirl looked at everyone else,

"Is anyone else getting sick of this?"

Diana nodded,

"Yeah, let's go get ice cream."

The Thanagarian warrior jumped in John's arms,

"Yay! Ice cream! I want lots of sprinkles in mine! Oh, can we get mint chocolate chip? That's my favorite."

John groaned, while Flash laughed,

"You sure can pick 'em, right, GL?"
GL grumbled,

"Shut up, Flash."

While many were leaving, J'onn was still looking at the computer,

"Very interesting. According to this website, there is a joke about Superman and Batman."

Bruce and Clark looked at the Martian hero. J'onn continued,

"It says here that Superman won't get into heaven because the Lord's a Batman fan."

Superman collapsed on the ground,

"This totally sucks."

Batman smirked,

"Oh, yeah, that's an old joke. C'mon, let's join the others for ice cream."

As the conference room was vacant of all occupants except the Man of Steel, Clark shook his head,

"My friends have no respect for me at all. But, at least I have the readers. Right?"

An ominous silence followed. Superman said again, more concernedly than before,

"Right?"

As another ominous silence followed, Clark began to shiver,

"Uh, is anyone out there?"

He stood up,

"Uh, guys, wait for me! I want ice cream too!"

End of One Shot

(1) Depending on the store, I noticed there was a special going on with the figure on the movie box.

(2) This is a reference to Batman Begins and The Dark Knight as the movies, Batman: Brave and the Bold as the cartoon series, and The Caped Crusader, which is expected to come out in a year or so.

(3) This is a reference to Superman 3 and 4, and Superman Returns.

(4) Look this up on the comics section of . It's true.

(5) This is true, too. I saw several figures in a comic shop, and I think there was an action figure included in the Death of Superman DVD. Not sure, though.

(6) Wonder Woman does have an animated movie, and she did have a TV show in the 1970s. It lasted three seasons.

(7) This is true; Flash did have a TV series in the 1990s. It lasted one season.

(8) Green Lantern has an animated movie out, staring Hal Jordan as the leading GL.