You're Just a Broken Lullaby
I never realised before that spilling my thoughts on a page would result in a huge weight being lifted off my delicate shoulders. What can I say? What am I allowed to say? Onee-chan would never forgive me if I ruined her career, just because she fell for someone she simply shouldn't have. Even though, as the days passed, it became inevitable. Two girls who could understand each other, to the point where they could both relate to being injected with the DNA of animals which are on the brink of extinction and being forced to fight aliens in order to save the world. She understands. Onee-chan knows. We don't even have to talk anymore – if she's there, I feel better.
It was about a month ago now. Yes, just a month. That was all it took. Lying in a hospital bed for hours on end, with no visitors except the occasional nurse, which often resulted in me identifying the reason behind my parent's absence. I remember at one point wondering – if Zakuro-san was here, would she visit me? Probably not. I would bite my lip and remember that that girl was an idol. She was busier than anyone I had ever met, and was always on the move.
Zakuro had been in England for a long, long time. It could have been days, it could have been months. I never made an effort to notice if the sun was up or down. I never cared to glance at my calendar. I suppose I did once or twice, but it never sunk in what day it was. I slept when I felt like it, I ate when I felt like it, and I went for a walk when I felt like it. Sometimes people would tell me: "Ichigo-chan! It's far too late to be taking a walk!" or "Ah! Ichigo-chan, you're up early! Taking a walk to kick-start the day, huh?". Things like that were the only indications of whether it was night-time or daytime. Time flew past, and I sunk into a deep depression, unable to glance into the mirror, because when I first saw the injuries on my face, I took every object that I could see my reflection in, and hid it away. Somewhere. Anywhere. I don't even know. I don't remember – I don't care.
Onee-chan was my first visitor in a long time. It was one of the very few things that she did right at the beginning that sparked my decision to call her 'onee-chan'. Respect for her that I never knew I had suddenly flooded my veins as I sat on my bed, eyes wide at the nurse, who told me, maybe with a little bit of surprise in her voice, that I had a visitor.
Was it Mint? Was it Lettuce? Was it Ryou or Keiichiro? Maybe it was Pudding, who only stopped visiting me because she was away visiting her father in China, unless she had come back sometime and neglected to visit. But Pudding surely wasn't like that, right? I didn't remember, I didn't care.
And then, like an angel, Zakuro entered the room, and gave a small smile at my wide eyes.
"Why are you looking at me like that, Ichigo?" she asked me. "It's almost as if you haven't had a visitor in a long time."
And so a friendship bloomed. She visited me every day, and would fit her schedule around visiting me – not the other way around. It came about after I told her that no one had visited me. They never visited me. And when onee-chan asked me how I felt about that, a hint of sympathy that I didn't quite catch in her voice, I simply replied: "I don't remember. I don't care."
I said that a lot. Not remembering and not caring had become a habit since the incident that left me here, wounded, abandoned and lost. Even my parents got a lot, lot busier suddenly. It wasn't because they didn't care for me. They did. But Papa got a promotion, and was always on trips in foreign countries. Mama was always at home, but failed to even pick up the phone. Somewhere deep down I knew something was wrong. Perhaps they discovered I was a Mew? Ryou would have had to make up some kind of excuse to cover my injuries. Were they disgusted with me? Did they completely hate my guts? No parent wants their child running around in skimpy outfits, fighting and destroying things. Did they think I was some kind of idiot? Did they never want to see me again. Who knows? Who cares?
"I care," Zakuro told me firmly. "Whether your parents know or not is none of my business, but you didn't ask for this fate. It's a chosen path that neither you, nor they can change."
Her words of courage and empathy would always make me feel like I could just spread my wings and fly away. Underneath the bandages that covered one half of my face, there was half of a girl who wanted to run away. A girl who couldn't take this much longer. A girl who felt like living in a comatose state was the only way she could get lost and leave her destiny unfulfilled. As I sat in a hospital bed, I felt my powers slip away, just like previously my ability to be concerned with the conclusion of the world. Would the aliens win? Have they already won? Were Zakuro and I only humans left on earth? Did Kisshu carry out his promise of letting me live while all the other humans perished?
If Zakuro and I were in fact the only humans left on earth, I wouldn't cry. To be honest, I would be glad. Mint would have been forced to leave her precious onee-sama, Lettuce would be free her demanding agenda and Pudding would be with her mother, finally. Everyone would have gotten exactly what they deserved. Family, peace, or in Mint's case, a punishment, for never being there, for never being kind, for never supporting me. Still, I wished I would have had one last chance to thank them for everything.
Still, normal people roamed about outside. No one was dead, everyone was fine, happy – even me, sort of. With Zakuro, I really felt like words could set me free.
"I'm tired," I whispered into her shoulder as we hugged one month ago. Yes, just a month ago. No longer period of time, no shorter period of time. It was just one month – and that was all it took for me, Ichigo Momomiya, to fall in love.
A/N: It's cute, right? I suppose it's a very detailed start, which is something I wouldn't do. The next chapter will be a real one, not just Ichigo ranting on, and when I do make a start, it will be set around the time Ichigo got injured. This is Zakuro/Ichigo if you skipped right to the authors notes to see what on earth the story is about. What on earth happened to Masaya, you ask… all will be revealed soon! By the way, Zakuro/Ichigo happens to be my second favourite pairing. My first is Kisshu/Ichigo, and I recently wrote a one-shot for that, so maybe when I finish this story, my next one will be… wait for it… Pudding/Ichigo. No jokes.