BATMAN SHRUGGED or "Elegy for the Super-Heroes" by Sam Zaninovich
CAST:
2K1: 20s kid # 1
2K2: 20s kid # 2
2K3: 20s kid # 3
AL: Alfred
BA: the real Batman
BG: Batgirl
BM: Batman (To Kill A Legend Bruce Wayne)
BT: Bartender
CF: Carol Ferris
CM: Calendar Man
DCW: Drug Czar Woodrue
DT: Dr. Thawne
DU: Dude
EC: Event Coordinator
EEL: Plastic Man
EMT1: EMT1
EMT2: EMT2
EMT3: EMT3
GC: Guard Croc
HA: Harley
HD: Harvey Dent
HJ: Hal Jordan
JD: Julian Day
JK: Joker AKA Mr. Hoyle
JO: Jimmy Olsen
K1: Kid # 1
K2: Kid # 2
K3: Kid # 3
K4: Kid # 4
KID: Kid Eternity
KRY: Krypto
LOL: Lois Lane
LT: Leslie Thompkins
MK: Mr. Keeper
NARR: Kain
OL: Ollie Queen
OS: Officer Richard Sprang
OP: Officer Charles Paris
P1: Pilot # 1
P2: Pilot # 2
PS: Phantom Stranger
SF: Starfire
SP: Speedy
SPEC1: Spectator # 1
SPEC2: Spectator # 2
SPEC3: Spectator # 3
ST1: Student # 1
ST2: Student # 2
SU: Superman
TA: Techie Assistant
TG1: Tough guy # 1
TG2: Tough guy # 2
TW: Talia Wayne
VS: ?
WW: President Prince
PART THREE
1) Splash of deep space. We see SF (Don't show it's her yet, though…flames should obfuscate her) cutting through the blackness of space like a knife of light from top left of pg to bottom right.
1. NARR: "If I had not known that my life depends on my mind and my effort-he was saying soundlessly to the line of [second-hander archetypes] stretched throughout the centuries—
2-3) Helicopter view of the east coast where we finally nail down where exactly these DC cities are. We see evidence of where tidal wave hit, where it receded to and how much is still flooded. In every city we visit should be floating maglev buildings that shuffle around the skyline like big trailers to circumvent overpopulation. Classrooms, offices, Starbucks, you name it! In fact, there should be a few floating convenience stores, cigarette machines, etc. And everything's 24 hrs! Each of the following vignettes should be a pg or so.
1. NARR: "-if I had not made it my highest moral purpose to exercise the best of my effort and the fullest capacity of my mind in order to support and expand my life, you would have found nothing to loot from me, nothing to support your own existence: It is not my sins that you're using to injure me, but my virtues…since you do not seek to destroy my achievement but to seize it.
2. NARR: "He remembered the gigolo of science saying to him: 'We're after power and we mean it. You fellows were pikers, but we know the real trick.' We were not after power-he said to the gigolo's ancestors-in-spirit—and we did not live by means of that which we condemned. We regarded productive ability as a virtue—and we let the degree of his virtue be the measure of a man's reward. –Ayn Rand, the Fountainhead"
4) Star City: We join a discussion in a public high school classroom about Catcher in the Rye. A kid asks if society was ever so exclusionary as portrayed. The teacher is Speedy, so he says yeah. He marvels that there is such a sense of community among kids today. Stats about gay bashing, racism, date rape and general bullying being down are mentioned.
1. NARR: Star City.
2. ST1: I'm a little puzzled by why Holden feels so ostracized…why he hates the cliques at his prep school so much. I understand that it was kind of a different time then…
3. SP: It was. You were encouraged to be yourself to help avoid things like cliques that affect the way you deal with groups of people forevermore. And yes, it was that exclusionary, and it was that terrible. I myself fell into the worst life imaginable.
4. ST1: You'd probably rather we didn't talk about your…past, Mr. Harper, but did you ever feel more pressure to be in a…super –clique?
5. SP: And how! As if it weren't bad enough to have to prove you were either establishment or counter-culture…
6. ST2: …your own identity kind of got lumped in with what the crowd was doing.
7. ST1: I'm actually slightly amazed how much bullying, gay-bashing and date-rape stats are down…we must be doing something right.
8. SP: Yeah, really. Makes ya think.
5) Central City: CM's satellite communicates w/ DT's high-tech observatory in Central City. TA sitting around, tracking stuff. Then Dr. Thawne, w/ crumpled maps in lap, gets agitated cking them against floating maps generated by computer. He gets CM on horn, and we outline how new calendar works.
1. NARR: Central City.
2. DT: Hell's bells.
3. DT: What the…
4. DT: Get Day on the horn, please.
5. TA: Dr. Julian Day, right away!
6. DT: Not DOCTOR, technician! He doesn't have a doctorate!
7. TA: Yes sir…
8. CM: What do you want, Thawne?
9. DT: DOCTOR Thawne. Look, I know with your new calendar, each day is now two days. A week is a fortnight and 24 months occupy one year of our new time.
10. DT: People get more done in a day, there are more holidays to celebrate, more paydays and everybody thinks they live longer. And who knows? Maybe they do.
6) DT makes fun of CM. But there's something on the other side of the galaxy moving towards earth quick! They still can't really tell what it is, but it's human-sized and really travelling. Everyone gets busy tracking its progress. DT pauses and gazes at this Mason jar w/ a Flash insignia on the lid. Inside is a pair of human eyes. DT grins.
1. DT: Just the same, I need a copy of whatever pre-Calendar Man interference star-charts you've got. You may have bullshat the common folk, but we scientists still need something factual to gauge astronomy by.
2. CM: Why, DOCTOR Thawne, do we need out-of-date maps?
3. DT: I'm not sure. There's a projectile heading for earth but fast, and I just wanted to check and see if it would hit where you are.
4. DT: My problem is that all my reference files are now tainted with your half-assed freshman's concept of astronomy and I need facts.
5. CM: What's the projectile?
6. DT: Can't figure it out because somebody convinced the boss to do away with our perfectly fine, scientific calendar…
7. CM: OK, OK, I get the point! Let me know what you come up with.
8. DT: Why? What'll you be able to do about it?
7) Metropolis: The Planet news room and broadcasts are all interactive. In order of appearance are news stories about the following:
1. R1: …the longest drought in England's history. To hear more, press 8. Lisa?
2. R2: Hollywood lost a star when former actor and second Two-Face Paul Sloane died today of a seizure brought on by, ironically, double-pneumonia. For more info press…3.
3. R1: Former mogul Morgan Edge has been extradited back to Metropolis after decades abroad. He will now answer for the mysterious death of his third wife in 1978. It doesn't look good for him. There's more if you press 5.
4. R2: High-density ankle weights are recommended this season as gravity gets incrementally lighter! To order these ankle weights now, press 7!
5. R2: The Sitcom Writer's Guild is striking on grounds to stamp out the irritating trope of the imbecilic husband. The strike is in its third year now.
6. R1: Thanks, Sandy. Now Hugh has some info for us on that heat-wave in Colorado.
7. R1: But first, here's the Queen of Atlantis, Cora Curry with her recipe for smoked salmon!
8) Smallville: College Kids play football, training for the upcoming Olympics to be held in Paradise Island, since it was realized years ago that PI fell within American waters. Here we see two college kids practicing on a football field. Two nerds watch and talk to each other from the bleachers.
1. NARR: Smallville.
2. K1: Better get goin'!
3. K2: Make it good!
4. K1: Screw Disneyland, I'm goin' to Paradise Island!
5. K3: They say in 20 years we'll all be like Superman was with the environment the way it is.
6. K4: Or dead from radiation poisoning.
7. K3: Yeah, but I'd say that your average person will be about 20% what Golden Age Supes used to be…no less!
8. K4: Nobody will be able to fly or will have various visions, but the mortality rate will be roughly half of the sales of any solo X series…huh huh!
9. K3: Totally. Still, these NFL Superpros will most likely go to Paradise Island while we spend time RPGing.
10. K4: Most likely.
9) Coast City: Off the coast lies Ferris Airlines; now the only smoking airline in the world and doing very well. Older Carol is on phone, hangs up, orders young, impudent pilot (P2) into her office. She dresses him down for some silly thing, while there's obviously sparks between them. As he leaves, she smirks. Dude leaves Carol's office and is met by a friend. They say what a MILF she is. They pass old-ass Hal Jordan, ratcheting sockets on landing struts, who overhears and is distraught. He says, "Carol…"
1. NARR: Coast City.
2. CF: Well, how will it look if the only smoking airline in the world didn't have matches? That's stupid. OK.
3. P1: You wanted to see me, ma'am?
4. CF: Yes, Johnson. Did you think you were being cute staying in a burning plane on the runway?
5. P1: No, ma'am! See, I thought if I taxied long enough…
6. CF: Well, let me tell you something, mister: I pay extremely high insurance premiums to keep that…young…bod of yours in one piece!
7. P2: So what happened, man?
8. P1: Dude, she was all over me like a cheap suit!
9. P2: She's hot!
10. HJ: Carol…
10) Bludhaven: An ambulance unloads a stretcher into a local ER. Inside, the hospital lobby is empty save for the receptionist. Apparently there was just a big disaster at the stadium. A spotlight fell and killed a young couple instantly. This bystander caught a piece of debris, but he should make it. The patient receives treatment right away.
1. NARR: Bludhaven.
2. EMT1: What we got?
3. EMT2: That Olympic finalist competition at the stadium. A spotlight fell, killing a young couple instantly. This guy was sittin' next to 'em and got burned pretty bad.
4. EMT1: Let's get him in some cryo-gear.
5. EMT2: Yeah.
6. EMT3: Actually, this is my first time using the new cryo-equipment.
7. EMT2: I heard they're based on designs by Freise.
8. EMT3: Yup. But everyone knows he bought it that night at Wayne Manor.
9. EMT1: Anyway, we have our own lab, thanks to LexCare…there's so much room, now we got space for such experimental studies.
10. EMT3: Lexcare rules.
11) Gotham City: It should be like the Prisoner tv show, everyone's nice, everything's labeled. There are benches and water fountains again…since the economy's so good, veterans are well taken care of and LexCare weeds out the junkies, so there are practically no more bums. We should see Wall St. River and Robinson (Battery) Park, now Robinson Bluff after the flood. Maybe a little dirty…it is Gotham! Should look less like Tim Burton movie and more futuristic and nice, like Metropolis.
1. NARR: "Welcome to Gotham City! For those who haven't been here in a while, a lot has changed!
2. NARR: "Rampant crime and super-people are a thing of the past, washed away along with all the damage from that giant tidal-wave a few years back!
3. NARR: "Nowhere is this more apparent than on the Wall Street River! Come enjoy a lovely gondola ride right through the heart of Gotham's financial district!
4. NARR: "Just beyond Wayne Towers we see Robinson Bluff with a terrific view of the new battery and coastline!
5. NARR: "Gone are the gargoyles and seedy dock areas! Gotham got a huge govt. bailout after the flood, so top architects have redesigned our beloved city, giving it a much needed facelift!
6. NARR: "Like Las Vegas, Gotham City has been reborn into a new utopia for the modern American! Maybe just a little dirty…it is still Gotham, after all!
7. NARR: "As we leave, we want to show we appreciate your tourist requests/investor inquiries! So here's homegrown fountainhead Bruce Wayne of Waynetech with our state motto:"
8. BW: "Excelsior!"
9. NARR: from
12) Tv-screen pn shows after-commercial bumper that says, "Cops: Gotham!" As we show OS & OP "onscreen," their names (Officer Richard Sprang & Officer Charles Paris) should be beneath them on right corner of pg, also w/ some tiny sitcom ad on the lower right corner. Dude flicks a ciggy butt, it rests on side of curb. Dude gets ticketed by cops walking by. The butt was still technically on the sidewalk, and therefore not in public property; as the street is. Dude says something about cops being on the "take" and filling their "quotas. OS & OP glance sidelong at each other (He should not look like a hippy! More like a tattooed frat boy…no piercings or weird hairstyles reminiscent of "knot tops" in Watchmen, please. While we're on the subject, ciggies shouldn't look like those in Watchmen and the Question should look as little like Rorschach as possible…short of making him a chick ).
1. OS: We don't get paired together as much as I'd like, but me'n Charlie have done some fine work together.
2. OP: Uh oh! You see that, Richie?
3 OS: Sure did. Let's move.
4. OP: Hey, buddy! That your butt?
5. DU: Excuse me?
6. OS: You heard 'im.
7. OP: Are you aware, sir, that littering combustible items is a ticketable offense?
8. OS: You'll note that it didn't quite clear the curb, making it safely into the street. Or what we call public property.
9. OP: So close! Still on private property, so that gives us littering. Let's see that card.
10. DU: I guess I'm one more for your precious quota.
13) Cop remarks there is no more graft...everybody makes a real fair wage now. In fact Gotham was voted safest city of whatever year this is supposed to be. They give dude his littering ticket, since law enforcement has deemed only violent crimes as detainable. My man pays (slides card in portable transmitter), and leaves. OS & OP say to each other that even though the system is so easy now, they still gotta bitch. This line over tv-screen pn of Cops: Gotham! Bumper. Same as pg 12 pn 1
1. OS: Heh heh heh! There ain't no more quotas or graft or any'a that Serpico crap, dumbass.
2. OP: Ha! Are you even old enough to remember when there were still judges and lawyers?
3. OS: Since you didn't commit a dangerous crime, we don't even gotta take you in.
4. OS: Just slide your card and pay your fine, Mr. …Finger! Ha! What a name!
5. OP: Ha! You should talk, Dick.
6. DU: Are we done here?
7. OS: Yeah, get outta here.
8. DU: Goddammit
9. OP: Eh, no matter how good the system gets, people still gotta bitch.
14) Est shot of monastery. Inside the waiting room, EC walks in w/ a tearful Asian youth in wheelchair. BG comes around the desk to receive them…she's walking thanks to LexCare's mandatory coverage…LT is in great shape for an old lady for the very same reason. They have a seat and the guy says that there was a major disaster at the stadium where they were having Olympics elimination semi-finals to see who gets to go to Paradise Island for the games. His family was killed by a freak accident-a falling spotlight fried them instantly, missing the boy by inches.
1. BG (NARR): Hi there! I'm Barbara, can I help you?
2. EC: Yeah, I called a little bit ago…I'm the event coordinator for the Olympic semi-finals. We were having our eliminations to see who goes to Paradise Island, and well…
3. LT: Oh, lord…I just heard on the radio…a spotlight fell…
4. EC: It was a freak accident. He has no…other family.
5. LT: I'll take him to the infirmary…
6. EC: He's fine. The paramedics already checked him out on the spot when they…took his folks away.
7. BG: Oh god
8. EC: So…what exactly do you do here? You're an asylum…?
9. LT: More of a privately-funded hospital. We do have mentally disturbed patients, but this is a great place to receive treatment for severe trauma.
10. BG: It's a hard world. We can help him develop into the kind of person who can face that world and thrive.
15) EC says he already has two kids, or he'd take him in himself… LT outlines some of WW's new rules. BG starts to take kid to a room. EC just wanted to see if this particular nearby monastery had any place for an orphaned 12-year-old kid acrobat. BG smiles.
1. EC: Good.
2. TL: We actually get a lot of support and resources from the same places that outfit orphanages.
3. EC: That's great. I didn't wanna just drop him off…but I already got two kids.
4. LT: That's good. The law states no couple can outnumber themselves…all couples (gay or straight) are required by law to have two children or less. Not too unusual considering the similar common practices Japan and other countries have had, anyway. Part of the overall "self-improvement" stance of the US since Wonder Woman took charge.
5. BG: Well, let's get you to your new room…hey! What's your name?
6. EC: Don't know. All ID cards were incinerated. I'm sure his identity will turn up when he stops showing up to school…
7. BG: We'll keep our ears open for that as well.
8. EC: Outstanding! I just wanted to make sure you had a place for an orphaned 12-year-old kid acrobat.
16) VS drives AL up to Wayne Manor. It's a big deal because the Manor, like the rest of Gotham, was rebuilt after the deluge. VS has tea w/ AL in the new brand new Manor. AL's been living in the Wayne Tower downtown, which was very nice, but we all know AL belongs in the Manor.
1. VS: So how does it feel to be back?
2. AL: I cannot begin to tell you, Mr. Sage.
3. VS: Well, we all know this is where you belong. It looks just like it did before.
4. AL: Yes. Master Bruce supervised its reconstruction himself. He never left.
5. VS: Oh, I thought he stayed in Wayne Tower a while.
6. AL: Afraid not. Just me.
7. VS: How about some tea once we get the bags stowed?
8. AL: Delighted! I'll see if Master Bruce will join us.
9. VS: Hm
17) Of course, AL's been here since the devastation; both w/ surveyors to assess the damage, and w/ BG to investigate the debris…and look for survivors. Nothing. The Mansion and cave were complexly destroyed; the new foundation was built upon it. VS reminds AL that VS asked AL this at the time: What exactly happened that night? AL stiffens, cannot bring himself to discuss it. VS tells AL, "That's what you said last time."
1. AL: And I'm sure you were in the vicinity of the Tower today for no particular reason?
2. VS: Same reason as always, Alfred. Is this the first time you've been back?
3. AL: No. I came with Barbara Gordon to investigate the…debris.
4. VS: For survivors?
5. AL: Hard to believe they built it right atop the ashes of the old…
6. VS: Changing the subject, as usual.
7. AL: sigh
8. VS: You'll recall I asked you this at the time: What exactly happened that night?
9. AL: I'm…sorry, Mr. Sage, I'm…not prepared to discuss it.
10. VS: That's what you said last time.
18). AL stonewalls VS and changes the subject to Lexcorp's buyout of WayneTech earlier in the year, and Lucius Fox's mysterious murder right before. VS says he covered those very stories when they happened, and is here for another. BW rings for AL off-pn. AL subtly suggests that VS speak w/ OL if he wants to uncover the real story.
1. VS: Everyone knows that Dent went crazy and blew up the Manor…that Mr. Freeze & Bane were reported at the scene, that you and Wayne were the only ones that got out. But no one knows why.
2. AL: I…I don't know…I was upstairs!
3. AL: Perhaps it had something to do with Lex Luthor's planned hostile takeover of WayneTech. Or Lucius Fox's mysterious suicide just beforehand…
4. VS: C'mon, Alfred. I covered both of those stories. And while they might be connected to each other, they have nothing to do with the Assault on Wayne Manor!
5. AL: Do you have to call it that…
6. VS: Yes! The world demands answers!
7. VS: But I guess your master calls.
8. AL: You know, Mr. Sage, if you really want to hear a story, speak with Ollie Queen.
9. AL: I'll trust you to see yourself out.
19) In gross bar, the Question is playing pool. He wins another game, and the guy playing winner gets impatient. They get into an argument. We see Sergio Aragones' "the Shadow Knows" as shadow-profiles of two dudes arguing play against the Question's featureless face. Question walks between them.
1. TG1: So there we were in the middle of bumfuck Egypt…literally! Haulin' ass to the getaway van with goddamn headhunters right behind us.
2. TG1: The guy that set the gig up was drivin', and after a while he parked and grabbed the sack a loot. We all kinda looked at each other, but then he handed back the whole bag for us to divvy up. He didn't take hardly no time sortin' a'tall.
3. TG1: So we all split up from there. But I decided to let them have the bag, too.
4. TG2: Bullshit. You let them take all them diamonds?
5. TG1: Yeah! Think about it, dummy…if that guy set it up and didn't even want the diamonds, whatever he snatched out of the bag like a crackerjack prize must've been worth more than the ice!
6. TG1: I had a plan, though.
7. TG1: I followed his van back to his house and slit his throat in the night.
8. TG2: Get back to the game!
9. TG1: I'm tellin' a fuckin' story!
10. BT: Hey! No static in here! Take it outside, hairy!
20) No fisticuffs, he berates the two in good old Rand fashion. GA walks in, seems surprised to see Question. They speak of Bludhaven.
1. VS: Take it easy, take it easy. I'm about to beat him on the next shot, anyway, so let him have his story.
2. TG1: Yeah! Er, thanks, pal…and don't be too sure about that, slick! Anyway, turns out all he took was this black diamond.
3. VS: How much you get for it?
4. TG1: Yeah right! Like I'd ever part with such a gem!
5. TG2: OK! Great story that's more fulla shit than a septic tank. Can one of you lose so I can play?
6. VS: Wanna do one more for pinks?
7. TG1: Nah. I got a bike…yellow pan head out there.
8. VS: Doesn't matter. Gotta go talk to the Amazing Archer. Why don't you play your bigmouth buddy, here?
9. NARR: They speak of Bludhaven.
21) BG misting plants in lobby of monastery; making small talk w/ LT when VS strides in. BG knows who he is and flatly informs him that appointments must be made to speak even w/ the staff, much less inmates. VS says he knows. That's why he's making an appointment w/ her now. LT makes apt, he tips his hat to the ladies and bids them good day as he strides back out the door. TL, w/ eyebrow raised, says she would've seen him now. BG says the only way some guys know how to go through life is by the book.
1. BG: So how's Eric doing?
2. LT: Oh, you'd be amazed. I actually arranged for him to be adopted by Grayle, of all people.
3. BG: Wow. I never figured…oh!
4. VS: Excuse me. I'd like to…
5. BG: Look, I know who you are, Sage, and we have a strict policy on speaking to the press. Appointments must be made to speak even with the staff, much less patients…
6. VS: Yes, I know. That's why I'm attempting to make one now.
7. BG: How's Wednesday at 8 AM?
8. VS: Perfectly fine, my dear. Thank you ladies. Have a great day!
9: LT: I don't get it, Barbara. I would've seen him now.
10: BG: Enh, the only way some guys know how to go through life is by the book.
22) You know All-Star Batman & Robin # 4 w/ the horizontal multi-fold out? We should somehow do this vertically w/ stained-glass window. Fragments break and fall, then unify together as EEL.
1. EEL (CAPS): I'm sure young people think of the 20s—prob'ly everything old for that matter—in black and white. A sun faded, high-contrast world bereft of black shadows; only shades of brown.
2. EEL: (CAPS): And silent, thanks to the moving pictures. Guess TV is to blame for that, too. Except that was in black and white for a while, too.
3. EEL (CAPS): Kids have no idea how colorful and exciting and innocent the world seemed. Your opinions were the same as your wife's, your neighbor's, your government's, on down the line.
4. EEL (CAPS): Even when my folks died, there was such a prevailing attitude of American resourcefulness that I felt confident in my ability to bounce back.
5. EEL (CAPS): Even as a kid.
23) Flashback for EEL, he's a kid in the 1920s playing baseball. He tries to catch a pop fly but his arms aren't long enough! He misses the ball and limps back to dugout. Voices calling his name become MK's voice for next scene.
1. EEL (CAPS): My name is "Eel" O'Brien and once again, my mind and nervous system are reassembling themselves.
2. 2K1: Easy out! Easy out!
3. 2K2: Are you kiddin'? Whatta wollop!
4. EEL (CAPS): I'll be coming to any moment…
5. 2K1: Comin' your way, Eel!
6. 2K2: That spaz'll never catch it! Run!
7. EEL: I got…I got it…
8. 2K2: Yeah, right!
9. 2K1: Nice catch Einsiedeln!
10. 2K3: Haha! I don't believe it!
11. 2K3: I do!
12. 2K1: What happened?
13. EEL: My…my arms weren't long enough…
24) EEL is cajoled back to reality by MK (MK's features are obscured by monk's hood and robe). We're gonna say that everything between Cole and now was a big drug trip for EEL. He can stretch because he believes he can! MK says he should maybe start w/ some chicken noodle soup.
1. MK: Welcome back, Mr. O'Brien.
2. EEL: Whu who ho…
3. MK: Take it easy. You're where you are safe. I shall be your Keeper. You are recovering from lifelong exposure to heavy acid. You see, Mr. O'Brien, that vat that fell on you after the ill-fated bank job was not what you thought it was.
4. EEL: Yeah…it said it was acid…
5. MK: If that were the case, you'd have melted into nothingness upon contact. That "acid" was LSD earmarked for the German water supply. Your interference scuttled that mission and they moved on to other things.
6. MK: Your shape shifting abilities are based upon your hallucinogenic belief that the real world will react to the way you saw things in your addled mind.
7. EEL: In other words, I can stretch because I think I can?
8. MK: HAHA! Precisely, Mr. O'Brein.
9. EEL: Yet now I seem to be cognizant and receptive to reality as it stands! Maybe I can control everything!
10. MK: Maybe we should start with some chicken noodle soup.
25) That night EEL can't sleep, walks by MK's room, thinks upon MK and is puzzled. Scratches his head like he's trying to figure out a crossword. Next is KID's room, EEL hears tv, knocks on door. "Come in."
1. NARR: That night in the creepy monastery…
2. EEL (THOUGHTS): Jeez…feels like I've been asleep a thousand years. Need to roam.
3. EEL (THOUGHTS): Seems like your standard boring room. They say I've been in and out for a long time…well, the trappings remain the same!
4. EEL (THOUGHTS): I wonder if I embarrassed myself during all that time…if I misrepresented my character in the eyes of others.
5. EEL (THOUGHTS): I can't believe what year this is! Why am I here now? Whose best interest does it serve for me to be rehabilitated? All the literature they've left lyin' around looks like rehab pamphlets.
6. EEL (THOUGHTS): And why was Keep so familiar-lookin'?
7. EEL (THOUGHTS): Won't find out in here. And I see a crack I can limbo under…
8. EEL (THOUGHTS): Wonder who's room this is? I hear a TV goin'…
9. KID: C'mon in…whether it's fine or not.
26) EEL slinks in from under door. He and KID commiserate for a minute. EEL asks if MK is on the level. KID laughs heartily! EEL asks what KID's in for. KID says "same as everyone else here. Rehab." KID remarks that EEL doesn't wanna end up in "the bat cave." "Bat cave?" repeats EEL
1. KID: You're older than you look.
2. EEL: So are you. What're you in for?
3. KID: Life. Kind of like a vacation where you can't leave the hotel.
4. EEL: Is Keep on the level?
5. KID: Hahahahaha! That's funny.
6. EEL: What're you really in for?
7. KID: Heh—rehab, like everyone else. Like you, right?
8. EEL: I guess.
9. KID: You don't wanna end up in the batcave, do you?
10. EEL: Batcave?
27) That morning, EEL has breakfast w/ MK (MK removes cowl to eat, Eel reacts) and KID and it strikes him…the monk, the monastery…this was in Police # 1! EEL was left for dead by his fellow gunsels, then EEL somehow made his way to the monastery where the monk hid EEL from police and gave him second chance! That place is this monastery! And that monk…MK smiles.
1. NARR: The next morning…
2. KID: Do you eat? Do you even process food biologically?
3. EEL: Uhhh…I don't know. I like to…Holy shit! You're him!
4. EEL: You're that monk!
5. KID: Huh?
6. MK: The last time I met Mr. O'Brein, he lived on the wrong side of the law. He robbed a bank, but his fellow gunsels left him for dead once wounded.
7. EEL: You're the one that gave me my second chance in life! That place is this monastery! And that generous monk…
8. EEL: Wow! It was you! You had more hair then, but it was you!
9. MK: Didn't we all.
10. EEL: I did think it was weird that there was this monastery so close to the city…
28) But the city is Bludhaven and the monastery was a German-speaking American monastery from 1854-1952. They were Hibernus, or Einsiedeln Monks who really did put a monastery in southern Indiana, but for our purposes, we'll just say it's Bludhaven. MK points out that there were many Irish monks here as well, rather like our friend Mr. O'Brien here. "What about your powers?" asks MK. EEL points out they're reactive to his mental health anyway.
1. MK: The city was Bludhaven, the monastery was a German-speaking American settlement from 1854-1952. They were Hibernus, or Einsiedeln monks and set up shop here in frontier times.
2. KID: I never heard of Irish monks before, Keep.
3. MK: You'll have to excuse the Kid, here…he believes in very little.
4. KID: And who's fault is that?
5. EEL: So this is an Irish-American Monastery?
6. MK: That's right, Mr. O'Brein.
7. EEL: God, my origin makes so much more sense now!
8. KID: So what about your powers? What keeps you in that form?
9. EEL: I dunno…I guess they're reactive to my mental state of mind…
10. KID: That's encouraging…
29) Night in the monastery, It's raining out. We hear thunder every once in a while. EEL slips easily under doors to find out more about this place. EEL slinks into what he supposes is one more empty room and is a little surprised to find the former HD. They have a quick convo about what Batman does to people in this place. EEL furrows brow: "Batman?" It looks like HD's left profile in the darkness is smiling.
1. NARR: That night…
2. HD: I can hear you slithering around. Show yourself.
3. HD: Plastic Man. Interesting.
4. EEL: I…I thought…
5. HD: It's OK. Whaddaya want?
6. EEL: You look…
7. HD: I know! Do you understand what Batman does to people like us in this place?
8. EEL: Batman?
9. HD: Yeah. Who do you think runs this place?
30) EEL & HD continue convo. HD starts to talk about that fateful night at Wayne Manor! Lightning strikes in background, rain continues.
1. EEL: I wouldn't have thought Batman!
2. HD: Why, just because you used to be all buddy-buddy? So were he and I, you know!
3. EEL: But it makes sense that you'd be here…you're a villain.
4. HD: True…true. All those surgeries and drug treatments in vain…
5. EEL: But people don't seem very doped up here…and I know asylums!
6. HD: Haha! This is a "cold-turkey" facility. No one wants another Arkham on their hands.
7. EEL: So why're you here, handsome?
8. HD: Are you kidding? With my history?
9. EEL: I thought you were DA…No! Attorney General…
10. HD: Oh yeah, you've been out for a while…you probably didn't hear what happened that fateful night at Wayne Manor! Well, I do like to gloat…!
31) Flashback to AL opening the door to see Bane and Mr. Freeze. They push AL outta the way.
1. HD (CAPS): Just about everybody wearing the mantle of the Bat had been lured to the Batcave by our double-agent.
2. HD (CAPS): I myself had blown years of legitimate government work…put away hundreds of criminals in my role as Attorney General… just to do this!
3. AL: I'm coming, I'm coming!
4. AL: I don't know why whoever's there didn't bother just sneaking in the cave, like everyone else!
5. AL: Yes, Wayne Manor, may I help…
6. AL: …you!
32-33) Double pg spread showing flash flood in the cave…washing all the bat-people away. Mr. Freeze zaps all the standing water in the entire cave solid, front to back. Inset pn of a gleeful HD.
1. HD (CAPS): It was sweet, let me tell you. They were just supposed to tap into the water main and freeze everybody. Bane was to crush Bruce Wayne…Batman was mine! It turned out the former was an imposter; the latter, some geek from the pre-Crisis days that was the real Bruce Wayne, or some such bullshit. Anyway, it was just dumb luck that Aquaman's tidal wave hit when it did…Freeze wasn't even hooked up yet! When he saw that water, he just turned his icebox to high and fired instinctively. It was the single greatest moment of my life!
2. HD: Yes! Yes! AAall…sooooo worth it!
34) Still in flashback, Mr. Freeze zaps everything so good that he himself is frozen solid…then a falling rock shatters him into a million pieces. Then GC bangs on door, rudely interrupting flashback. "Can you believe he's a guard now here?" says HD. GC takes EEL back to his room. We pan out as they exit to barred window /w background black, lightning strikes in background, illuminating a figure crouching on outside of sill. Next pn, lightning disappears, so area behind bars of window are now black again. Did we really just see the Question lurching in that sill?
1. HD (CAPS): I like to think Freeze would be proud of his contribution to the night.
2. EEL: I dunno. Sounds like a stupid way to die to me…
3. GC: I thought I heard meat talkin'!
4. HD: I still can't believe Killer Croc is the guard here!
5. GC: Some of us just learned how to reform, Dent. Think about something else.
6. GC: Show's over, Eel. Let's go.
7. EEL: You know that brute strength doesn't compare to unlimited shapeshifting abilities in a fight, right?
8. GC: I don't fight junkies, man. I just show 'em to their rooms.
35) Dr. Thawne and those scientists in the Central City Observatory freaking out because the man-sized object rocketing towards earth has now just breached our atmosphere! CM is notified aboard his new satellite. He knows, he knows…he's seen the object and flips out, too! TA wonders who it could be. "I know who it better not be," says CM.
1. NARR: Central City Observatory:
2. TA: Sir, that man-sized meteor just shot right through our atmosphere without breaking up! I'd say it's pretty sentient…at the very least independently controlled!
3. DT: Great. Tell Dr. Moron to watch out, if he doesn't see it already.
4. TA: You mean Dr. Day?
5. DT: He has NO doctorate, as you damn well know.
6. TA: He's on the line now sir.
7. CM: Not me sitting right where it's gonna hit, Thawne!
8. DT: DOCTOR Thawne! Make yourself useful, Day, call the big man!
9. CM: It's making a beeline for Gotham City…if it's a person; I wonder who it could be?
10. DT: I know who it better not be.
36-37) That night: Huge gathering of DCW hippies in Robinson Park (Central Park) with a huge burning man-type deal, only it's burning Superman & Batman in effigy! Second year running! DCW giving speech about embracing new changes in society while eradicating crutches of the past. Did we ever need super-heroes? DCW tells his flock to burn it to the ground! The crowd goes BURN! BURN! BURN!
1. NARR: That night in Gotham City:
2. DCW: Halleluiah, ladies and gentlemen. Do we need these so-called heroes? When your husband lost his job, where were they? When your kids got sick, where were they? It's only through advances in medicine made possible by LexCare and its subsidiaries that true help has come!
3. DCW: Help from yourselves, not from some god in ballet-dancer's clothing…but true salvation, brothers and sisters! So join hands and burn those damned effigies!
4. CROWD: BURN! BURN! BURN! BURN! BURN!
5. NARR: "The Batman wants his money, you ain't going to give it back/He can push his own Bat-boat as you set up the track…Nothing you can contemplate will ever be the same/Every second is a new spark, set the universe aflame" —urban updating of "Wicker Man" by Iron Maiden
38) Next day, VS and BG have their apt. VS immediately starts asking about Bat-stuff. BG fights back tears. She says they've looked! All the Titans! There's nothing at Wayne Manor! VS's face goes blank, whispers "the bat-cave's a mighty big place to miss, ma'am."
1. NARR: Next day at the monastery:
2. BG: Well, if it isn't the ever punctual Mr. Sage.
3. VS: Good morning, ma'am. So whatever happened to Dick Grayson, Tim Drake and the other missing persons dating back over a year?
4. BG: Wh…I thought you were going to ask about…
5. VS: Everyone knows you were Batgirl. Didn't you guys even look?
6. BG: You…of course we looked, you son of a bitch!
7. BG: A message was even sent to Tamaran but w/ light-year variables & warps, who knows when Starfire would even hear about Dick.
8. BG: There's NOTHING at Wayne Manor!
9. VS: The Bat-cave's a mighty big place to miss, ma'am.
39) BG says calmly that the Bat-family knew damn well where the subterranean pockets containing the cave and its inhabitants were. VS wasn't there when they cked. She dismisses him coolly (Shadow knows profile of BG letting him have it on VS's face while BG's actual countenance remains cool), stands up. VS says she has nice legs, she says her legs enable her to dramatically walk out on dickheads like VS. She then loudly yells for security. One of them is GC. VS is calmly escorted out.
1. BG: We knew DAMN WELL where the subterranean pockets were!
2. VS: Yet… you found nothing.
3. BG: You weren't there! You don't know!
4. VS: Why are you so satisfied with failure?
5. BG: You don't know anything! That's why you ask so many questions and offer no answers!
6. VS: Nice gams.
7. BG: I beg your pardon?
8. VS: LexCare does nice work.
9. BG: Yeah, well, these "gams" enable me to dramatically walk out on dickheads like you!
10. BG: Security!
40) That night at the monastery, EEL cks out cell next door to HD: The handle is like a block of ice. He decides to give it a miss. Then GC walks by, escorts EEL back to room, explains that the cold room "belongs to Freise…Mr. Freeze bought it that fateful night at the manor but his wife is still in her cryo-pod, not much to see there, though." Then GC says, "Hey, ck this out." He opens up the room closest to the elevator. There's a frail old man w/ as many tubes running into machines as you've ever seen. Bane.
1. NARR: That night at the monastery:
2. EEL (THOUGHTS): Holy Cow! That's freezing! Not really sure what that'll do to me, so I'll give it a miss.
3. GC: Hey! Out carousin' again? What'm I gonna do with you?
4. EEL: Make backwards images of the funnies?
5. GC: Naah. You don't wanna be around here. This is Freeze's old room from before he croaked. His wife's still in there, believe it or not. Not much to see, though. Seen one cryo-job ya seen 'em all.
6. GC: Wanna see somethin' cool? Check this out…
7. GC: Bane.
8. GC: You think you got it bad, try hardcore long-term Venom addiction.
41) EEL meditating while physically sinking around under monastery, but finds only tiny crawlspace and bedrock. EEL thinks to himself for a minute…attic. Maybe KID was being facetious. Batman only used the batcave because it was there. Since the ground here was way too solid, wouldn't Batman use the next best hiding space?
1. GC (CAPS): "Lemme give you a piece of advice about this place: Don't think about it too hard!"
2. NARR: Later:
3. EEL (THOUGHTS): They obviously discourage traveling.
4. EEL (THOUGHTS): Maybe I've been thinking to literally…
5. EEL (THOUGHTS): Maybe the Kid was being facetious. After all, the real Batman only used the Batcave because it was there, I figure. Since this ground is way too solid, wouldn't he use the next best space?
6. EEL (THOUGHTS): Above everyone's nose? Where bats would hide?
7. EEL (THOUGHTS): In the belfry?
42) EEL makes his way into the attic, only to find a posh condo up there. There is computer console w/ giant monitor. Like the size of a pool. In background are giant props from old days: Giant blender, toaster…how about something new like a giant ipod or something? No windows. As EEL shape shifts his way back to normal form, he sees a shadowy figure inside an iron lung. Suddenly JK opens door, walks into room, EEL whirls. JK, has giant, jagged lobotomy scar and normal-colored hair and skin.
1. EEL (THOUGHTS): Now this I did not expect!
2. EEL (THOUGHTS): I think I'm freaking out…
3. JK: WHY HELLO EEL
43) JK is quickly followed by MK, who explains that JK likes to take midnight walks. Accompanied, of course. MK recounts to EEL flashback of JK's final capture by BA, who brought JK here to the attic that first night…where JK performed the world's first self-lobotomy the minute BA went for his surgical bag. No drugs. JK smashed his skull against the floor at just the right spot, and then managed to cut a pretty good incision w/ his thumbnail, then reached in w/ his thumb and forefinger.
1. MK: Hahaha. I see you've met Mr. …Hoyle.
2. MK: He likes to take midnight walks…always accompanied, of course.
3. EEL: Uhhhhhh…
4. MK: You know, Mr. Hoyle here also had a rough time fitting into the world. His…inaugural night here he performed the world's first self-lobotomy…
5. BA: This is it, Joker. Last chance to admit you're faking it.
6. BA: That's it. I'm going for the bag.
7. BA: I'm a novice…hope I'm not too sloppy…good lord! Put that down!
44) He was grabbing little shrimp size pieces of his own brain out in one hand, w/ a grey's anatomy book in the other before he puked and was stopped by good ole MK, who stepped in and tried to bandage him up. JK said "Get your hands off me dolt! Don't any of you people get it? This body…even this (pokes his own brain through giant head wound)…haven't you noticed that I always live? Will. That's my only power."
1. BA: What is the matter with you?
2. MK: This is going wrong. It's too weird…
3. BA: Get used to worse than this!
4. JK: OFF ME…!
5. JK: You're all morons!
6. JK: Get your hands off me, dolt!
7. JK: Don't any of you people get it? This body…even this…ow!
8. JK: I'll live. I always live.
9. JK: Will. That's my only power.
45) (Flashback ends) "Do it, Plas. Kill me. Try." Coaxes JK. EEL is creeped the fuck out but kinda can't move. JK says that's what he felt like. W/ no will to kill, isolation, his lifelong problems w/ BA resolved and a more normal appearance, JK couldn't help but respond to treatment! EEL asks questions, JK looks to MK before he answers. JK seems melancholy now.
1. JK: Test it!
2. MK: That's enough, Hoyle!
3. EEL: What's he mean? What do you mean?
4. JK: Kill me! Do it, Plas.
5. JK: Can't move? Paralyzed by fear? That's how I felt with a halfway-normal appearance, no will to kill and my lifelong difficulties with the Bat more or less resolved…
6. JK: I couldn't help but respond to treatment!
7. EEL: Did it ever bother you killing all those people.
8. MK: You don't have to answer that!
9. JK: No. I will. Just this once.
10. JK: Yeah.
46) Three-way convo between EEL, MK & JK. JK laughs, but like a normal guy thinking of something in a wistful way. Not all HAHAHAHAetc. EEL asks: where is the real BA now? "He's my roommate," says JK, mirthlessly, he's right here. But JK gestures towards a darkened corner. Cut to EEL sitting Indian-style before a bottle of sulfuric acid. Should be black behind figures; just mouths floating in darkness, Dent's, JK's, MK's, KID's all laughing at EEL.
1. EEL: What about now?
2. JK: Well, I'd say I genuinely missed human contact, but…
3. MK: He went through this in Arkham…
4. JK: Ugh
5. JK: I spent my career trying to capture his attention…now I've got it in spades!
6. EEL: So where is the brave-and-the-bold Batman now?
7: JK: Why, he's my roommate!
8. MK: That's enough, Mr. Hoyle!
9. MK (CAPS): Let's get Mr. O'Brein back to his room. He looks agitated…
10. JK: heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
47) Next day, AL answers door at Manor, AL starts at first when he sees Question. AL invites him in and motions towards Question's hat, but Question is all business; he keeps it on. AL serves tea, but Question just holds it standing up. He cuts the shit. Where the hell is the Batman?
1. AL: Yes, yes…rap upon the glass, not the wooden part…
2. AL: W…
3. AL: Come in.
4. AL: Tea?
5. AL: You know, I heard you were harassing Barbara…
6. AL: Not very good form for a reporter…why can't you understand this?
7. VS: Cut the crap. Where's the Batman?
48) Inside HD's cell: HD thinks back on his years of infamy as Two-Face, talks to himself about his years rebuilding his legal career, and how he wasted it all for the fleeting fun that night at Wayne Manor. Then the lights go out.
1. NARR: Bludhaven, Two-Face in stir.
2. HD (CAPS): That's why they'll never get it.
3. HD (CAPS): They find comfort in the thought that I lost everything…career, wife, money, security…for momentary gratification when I was apprehended by the authorities that night. I knew full well my actions would have consequences. So what.
4. HD (CAPS): Faking it all that time was what sucked my soul out. Pretending regular life was satisfactory.
5. HD (CAPS): Acting like I already had what I wanted in life was what really killed me. I did a lot of good while we were in office, though.
6. HD (CAPS): But the legal stuff wasn't hard…the higher I advanced, the less I actually had to think about the law.
7. HD (CAPS): When Harvey took his first bribe, I knew our lifelong battle was over. The world won.
8. HD (CAPS): One more convert for the corrupted; those that take the easy path.
9 HD (CAPS): I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that.
10. HD (CAPS): Besides, it really was sooooo worth it for that night in the Batcave…
49) AL reveals to Question that his master's health began to decline sometime after Knightfall... VS standing against a bookshelf. We'll use that "Shadow Knows" shit mentioned earlier. That means, pn by pn as AL is talking, Question's face becomes blank canvas, instead is profile of Alfred in following emotions: fearful, sad, and weary as he talks while AL's face remains unchanged. Don't go there, admonishes AL. Last pn close up of Question.
1. AL: After Knightfall, Master Bruce's health began to decline. He wanted to "get his ducks in a row," so he turned the monastery in Bludhaven into an asylum.
2. VS: For his enemies?
3. AL: …not for his friends…
4. VS: I heard Joker was the first customer.
5. AL: He felt responsible for…well, you know.
6. AL: I can't tell you.
7. VS: You won't! There's a difference!
8. AL: I can't tell you about the Monastery…don't go there!
9. VS: I don't respond to threats…nor clichés, butler.
10. AL: No…don't take your inquisition to Bludhaven…
11. VS: I've already investigated that den of villains, Alfred. It led me back here, so I might just stay right where I am and wait for the fireworks.
50) We see SF rocketing, fists ahead of her, hair behind her, plunging into Wayne Manor w/ devastating results! AL cks out the giant hole SF made in the drawing room, and the earth. She flies back up out of the hole and asks about NW, then gets a little woozy. I think I can answer that question, says BW, "Come w/ me," he says.
1. SFX: KABAR000000MMM!
2. AL: Good lord! What happened?
3. SF: WHERE IS DICK GRAYSON?
4. BW: I think I can answer that. I'm Bruce Wayne. Come with me.
51) In Wayne Manor's armory, TW selects the perfect blade from a massive array of swords. She's startled by the Question, who appears out of nowhere w/ that nutty mist. They confront each other, then mix it up! They suddenly feel the huge tremor caused by SF's flashy entrance as it wrecks half the room.
1. SFX: BAAROOOOMMM!
2. VS: What are you going to do, Talia?
3. TW: Gods!
52) TW is trapped under tons of debris; it is being temporarily propped up by the precariously placed vertical sword she wielded earlier. She reaches, yells for Question to help her, he will not. He tells her to seize her weapon and fulfill her destiny as a true warrior, then walks out.
1. TW: You think you are fulfilling justice but you have not walked a mile in my shoes! You have no idea what my upbringing was like!
2. VS: No, I don't care what your upbringing was like. We all have a chance to be adults. We all have a choice. You sold out your one true love…your "beloved"…for your father's world.
3. VS: That slab of debris would kill you if it fell, Talia.
4. VS: That sword is somehow keeping that slab from doing so.
5. TW: That…sword is like myself…standing alone against the weight of the world.
6. TW: It is a weapon defending its master.
7. VS: Then seize it and fulfill your destiny as a true warrior born.
53) BW, SF, AL walk in the woods until the Manor itself is a speck in the background W/ smoke billowing out. They walk in a yet undestroyed (due to its distance from SF's impact) master trophy room, almost a mausoleum. SF leans on AL for support. BW says that anyone w/ powers derived from the sun would be a little woozy. LL's rad experiments have slowly been turning earth's sun red! BW pulls a silken cord and the floor starts to slide back like a pool cover. They stand upon four-ft thick glass. The partition starts to slide underneath. AL comes up alongside BW, gives him the ole once over, then says "You're not Bruce Wayne."
1. NARR: Wayne Manor's west corner:
2. BW: Here we are.
3. BW: We had this built after the…unpleasantness.
4. AL: It is a mausoleum, sir! I've never been inside this morbid monument before!
5. SF: Ohhhh
6. AL: I have you, young lady.
7. BW: Ah. Yes, anyone who derives their power from the sun would have a difficult time on earth due to the alteration of Sol's axis by Lexcorp.
8. AL: You mean…
9. SF: You're turning earth's sun red.
10. AL: You're not Bruce Wayne!
54) No, says the man we know as BW! He'd had extensive plastic surgery, and felt it fitting, since BW is Jean-Paul Valley! Everyone reacts. BW has big reveal.
1. BW: No. I am not he who made the arrangement between Batman and Bruce Wayne; nor he who turned the Bludhaven Monastery into a new Bedlam!
2. AL: Then who…?
3. BW: I look like your master thanks to advanced plastic surgery. I felt it fitting, since I had my own System…
4. AL: Jean-Paul Valley…!
5. BW: No! Jean-Paul Valley died a junkie! All that was left in this body, and what is speaking to you now, is the System.
6. AL: No…no…
7. BW: The automatic training of Valley's youth imbedded itself upon his central nervous system…
8. BW & AL SIMULTANEOUSLY: …now the System has taken over everything!
55) Once terminally ill, BA was readily replaced by BW, w/ none the wiser, then teamed up w/ LL, started Nineveh (among other things) and basically sabotaged the entire Bat-fam!
1. BW: It's always wanted to create the ultimate crime-fighter, and it has…even surpassing your precious Batman.
2. BW: I've done more as Bruce Wayne to eliminate the causes of crime itself than the Batman. And we are seeing the results of that in the streets…there's less need for Batman if Bruce Wayne is doing his job!
3. AL: But where is…
4. BW: Once terminally ill, I replaced Bruce Wayne with none the wiser.
5. AL: But Nineveh…
6. BW: Yes, yes, I teamed-up with Luthor, started Nineveh, barely escaped the clutches of your "Crisis" Batman in Peru, lured the entire Bat-fam to the cave just in time for the tidal wave, which land-slides all my enemies well past the Manor's foundations, and well past investigation!
7. BW: Any other stupid questions?
8. SF: You…
9. BW: Not a question. You know, Alfie, you mentioned this place resembled a mausoleum.
56-57) Once BW, his pals Bane & Mr. Freeze hit the pad, then Mr. Freeze flash froze everything and everyone in the cave. BM reveals that this room was built directly above it. The scene that night looked a little like this, he says. The partition has now retracted completely and BW clicks on a light down there to reveal double pg spread-worthy shot of, in no particular order, BM, both Batgirls, Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, multi-national batmen…anyone else that was in the cave and got swept away that night…all frozen in place like Steve Rogers while BW laughs. Everyone else stands above, is horrified. Then we hear motorcycle engine getting louder and louder.
1. BW: Apt. For my pals Freeze, god rest his soul, and Bane hit the cave; the former flash-freezing the entire cavern. It looked a little like this:
2. AL: No…no…
3. SF: Dick…
58) GC makes his way through the dorms in darkness. He can't find anyone. "Great," he says. The temperature monitor on the wall indicates a big temp drop in Friese's room. GC goes in. There is a crack in the wall between HD's room and this one. In center is relatively undamaged cryo-pod Victor Freise's wife has resided in for so long. Whatever transparent parts of cryo-pod should be opaque so we can't see inside.
1. NARR: Bludhaven.
2. GC (THOUGHTS): What was that tremor? Where the hell is everybody?
3. GC (THOUGHTS): Great. The thermo reads a huge drop in Friese's room temp.
4. GC (THOUGHTS): Damn, this is almost big enough to squeeze through! And Dent ain't next door!
5. GC THOUGHTS): Nah! He'd have to be a contortionist…but then where is he?
6. GC (THOUGHTS): Well, nothing for him here.
7. GC (THOUGHTS): At least Friese seems OK.
8. GC (THOUGHTS): Then again, it's pretty warm in here. No juice to the cryo-unit means…
59) GC investigates the crack in the wall between Dent's room and Friese's again. Then he finds the remains of Mrs. Friese…crammed like thermal insulation into the walls!
1. GC (THOUGHTS): It's definitely not as cold as it's supposed to be, possibly damaged by the quake or whatever…
2. GC (THOUGHTS): What's that smell? Oh no!
3. GC: Good god!
4. GC: This just can't be what I think it is…
5. GC: Harvey escaped through the crack! Killed Mrs. Friese!
6. GC (THOUGHTS): But why cram her…gag…remains in the wall?
7. GC (THOUGHTS): Just to escape? To delay us? What the hell have we done here?
60) GC presses on, finds EEL's corpse in his room. Broken bottle of hydrochloric acid in EEL's lap, EEL's head pretty much gone down to the navel. EEL's body should be barely, but definitely, noticeable as Plastic Man. GC doesn't know what to do…he beeps BG to no avail…
1. GC (THOUGHTS): Just wanna take off, but I can't. So far no one has been in their room…
2. GC (THOUGHTS): …except Mrs. Friese.
3. GC (THOUGHTS): What should I do?
4. GC: EEL? You in there?
5. GC (THOUGHTS): Door's sprung open like all the rest….
6. GC: OH NO!
7. GC (THOUGHTS): Suicide…should have known…
8. GC (THOUGHTS): A jacked, cold way to go.
61) Inside OR's office, we see square shot of closet door on right hand side of desk. On the wall by door is large, framed memorial photo of Commissioner Gordon that says RIP. Her smock and pants lie neatly folded within her closet, her beeper going off; falling on deaf ears.
1. SFX: BEEEP!
2. LT (LEAVING MESSAGE): Hey, Barb. It's me. Just wanted you to know that I saw how your appointment with Sage went.
3. LT (LEAVING MESSAGE): Don't let a cad like that interfere with what you know you can't stop yourself from being involved in.
4. LT (LEAVING MESSAGE): I know something weird's always going on w/ our extended family, but I love you very much and you've turned out exactly how Commissioner Gordon would have wanted.
5. BG (on machine): Hello. You've reached Barbara Gordon. Leave me a message and have a nice day! BEEEP!
6. GC (CAPS): C'mon, Barbara! We need you!
7. GC (CAPS): Where could she be?
62) Batgirl's bike explodes into BW's trophy room as BW, AL & SF look on; she skids to a stop and coldcocks BW. He goes sprawling and lands on his back. She asks AL to get a maintenance truck here right away. She admonishes BW to stay put. She motions to the people horrifically frozen under their feet. SF says "We need to help them." SF shoots a firebolt down there, melting the glass, the ice and freeing everybody.
1. BG: Get a maintenance vehicle here.
2. AL: Right away!
3. BG: Do yourself a favor and stay put.
4. AL: Good show!
5. SF: We need to do something about them…
63) "That was easy," SF says, but by the time everybody is freed, she's not in much better shape than they are. In background, BW starts to get up, but is quickly, quietly engulfed in the Question's smoke. We do not see the Question. They get everybody outside to vehicles. AL mourns the loss of another mansion as large upper chunks of debris utterly raze the flaming structure in the distance as they leave. The Question suddenly appears amid the debris (we can only see him from waist up in the darkness). AL asks where they're going to take them.
1. SF: Well, that was easy…
2. AL: If only we'd known they were right under our noses all this time!
3. BG: We'll need more blankets for these people.
4. SF: Dick…
5. AL: Nobody's coherent yet…
6. BG: I'll zip ahead to the Monastery and have them clear out a floor for everyone….
7. AL: You might do well to go with her, young lady. The ice has been all but completely melted.
8. SF: Feel faint…every time I use my powers…
9. BG: That ersatz Bruce Wayne said anyone with solar-derived powers may have to leave earth for a while. Where'd he go, anyway?
10. AL: And where did the Question disappear to?
64) Just then, a bat-signal illuminates the sky (let's try to make some kind of neat-looking, original, functional bat-signal, please. Maybe illuminating entire sky except for bat silhouette…something…) they quickly get in the van.
1. AL: There's something I haven't seen in a while…
2. BG: It's coming from the Monastery!
65) As they drive off, we stay w/ the all-but forgotten Question; who is holding that same damn sword from earlier as he watches the debris fall and burn. He tosses the sword into the sand. The handle points skyward. The gas consumes the Question and dissipates until all we see is the sword sticking out of the earth.
1. VS (CAPS): So off they go, leaving to thwart a greater evil.
2. VS (CAPS): Could there be a more wicked couple? They both started out victims, then were good, then eclipsed the sources of their respective corruption.
3. VS (CAPS): The manipulators have now been sent to their proper fate.
4. VS (CAPS): I set out to get the story on Nineveh and I did that as Vic Sage.
5. VS (CAPS): To make others search out their own answers as I have mine, I feel is my duty...
6. VS (CAPS): …but to mete out my brand of justice…my pleasure.
7. NARR: Then there was the ocean, the sky and the figure of the Question.
66) Back in Ms. Friese's room at the monastery, her unattended pod opens, vapors come out. HD crawls out, mutters, "it's finally time." Seconds later, MK, GC & KID pushing Bane in wheelchair, they walk by Friese's room and try to figure out what to do. Just then the giant bat-signal turns on and they all rush to the roof.
1. NARR: Back in Ms. Friese's room at the monastery.
2. HD: Finally…
3. MK: But what happened? Did Harvey do that to Eel?
4. CG: Nope. He did that to himself.
5. KID: Jeez
6. MK: So what happened to the lights?
7. CG: Who ain't here?
8. MK: What…good lord! Is that…the Bat-Signal?
9. CG, MK & KID: The Roof!
67) There, they see the bell removed from its moorings to reveal the bat-signal projection device. JK and HD are standing there cackling (JK still not all HAHAHAHAHA). MK asks what's going on. HD responds that he came up here to talk his old buddy into one last romp for the road. HD has arm around JK's shoulder. It is raining but the tarp used to cover the bell lies alongside the bell.
1. JK & HD:
2. MK: The bell…
3. HD: Sorry about that, Keep! But we needed what was underneath!
4. CG: What're you guys doin' up here?
5. HD: Just what it looks like!
6. MK: No…
7. HD: Yeah! And check it out…no need for a coin thanks to your therapeutic bullshit all these years! HA!
8. HD: Don't worry…we don't need a day pass! I just wanted to have my buddy up here for one last romp for the road!
68) Cut to black background. 1st pn: JK sitting in chair in foreground, HD silhouette in background opening door; afterwards, JK headshots (2) along left side of pg, HD headshots (3) right side of pg all reacting to HD's dialogue in the middle of pg. JK himself sits in the darkness. HD tries to talk him back to dark side, but gets fed up and heads to the roof.
1. NARR: The summit.
2. HD: Yep, one more for the road, Joker. Make 'em all remember us!
3. HD: Boy, what a dud you are these days!
4. HD: Come on, man! This is our chance…maybe our last chance to do what we've always wanted to do. This tremor is a sign!
5. JK: …
6. HD: …Look, do what you want. If you change your mind, I'll be on the roof living out my fantasies.
7. HD: Guess all the fight's gone out of him. Oh well, more for me!
69) Back in black-background flashback scene from pg. 68. JK kinda struggling w/ conscience. Believe it or not, some of his therapy seems to be rubbing off! Once again, JK headshots vertically down left and right sides of pg. Heads are arguing w/ each other; heads on one side look how he looks in this story, other side like classic, chalky Joker.
1. JK: Welp, here we are again. Another "senses-shattering final battle."
2. JK: One more chance at the grand game. I actually have a good feeling about this one!
3. JK: I get to kill somebody, I suppose…that's something, I guess.
4. JK: But I never get to kill who I really want to
5. JK: What, are you losing your lust for life? Don't tell me all the psychobabble over the years is actually taking!
6. JK: No, no…nothing like that. It's just…a lot of commitment. I have to get all worked up…my blood pressure…did I fake my own lobotomy?
7. JK: Good god, what a pathetic loser!
8. JK: Gimmie a break! It's just getting old, OK?
9. JK: It or you?
10. JK: …What if I promised you could actually kill Batman this time?
70) HD & JK cuff MK & KID. They're kinda pissed at Croc. The tarp for covering the bell has been made into a Slip 'n' Slide. JK stands CR on it and gives a good push. GC indeed slips 'n' slides right off the roof. HD & JK gloat.
1. HD: Let's go. Don't try anything…we got nothing against you two, really.
2. JK: Well, maybe Keep. Ever wonder why other monks didn't share your zeal to work here?
3. HD: But it's really you, screw, that we have a bone to pick with. This turncoat has a lot to answer for!
4. CG: Spare me. You guys just couldn't stay out! Couldn't reform! You're just mad that I was on the outside!
5. JK: False! We're mad 'cause you played their game like a goddamn Uncle Tom!
6. JK: That's why we have this Slip 'n' Slide here…okay, so it's not a real one! This was the tarp covering the bell in case of rain. Sounds like a Croc-upational hazard! HARHARHAR!
7. GC: AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa-
8. JK: And away go troubles, down the drain!
71) They take the party downstairs to JK's attic. JK gets on the horn w/ HA. HD tells his captive audience that they want Batman, pure and simple. And they know how to get him! HD tells KID to wheel over BA in his bat-lung. JK finally gets through, tells HA it's good to hear her voice. She mentions something about him going straight. He says, "Hardly." He then tells her to put in effect plan # 725. She says right away, puddin'! They exchange Squeaky/Manson goodbyes.
1. JK: Now, why did I let you people live all this time?
2. HD: We need the Kid. We want Batman, pure and simple! Hear that? And we know how to get him! Wheel that Bat-Lung over here!
3. JK: Oh yeah. Let me get on the horn with Harley.
4. HD: What are you two looking at? You wanted to find the real Batman, right?
5. HD: Well, here he is!
6. JK: Hello, Poo. It has been awhile.
7. JK: Hardly.
8: JK: Do me a favor, put plan # 725 into effect.
72) JK says HA was just okayed detonation of tons of pre-buried explosives at the precise projected coordinates in OH, MO & TENN to create a giant east coast quake. JK pulls it up on the big monitor: a projection map of the US w/ locations their projectiles will hit.
1. JK: Let me put you on speaker…
2. HA: So you just okayed detonation of tons of pre-buried explosives at the precise projected coordinates in Ohio, Missouri & Tennessee to create a giant east coast quake!
3. HA: Yup, uncontrollable fires will burn, making a huge grin on your topo map!
4. JK: I missed you so much…
5. HA: I knew you were fakin' it, pud'!
6. HA: The projected fire damage will end up looking something like a cockeyed smile encompassing about half each of Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky & Tennessee!
7. JK: Oh, god, when you talk like that…
8. HA: Check out the projected damage on the big screen!
9. JK: …it makes me so damn hot!
73) In crime Alley, Question's smoke matches w/ Stranger's. The Stranger starts to tell the Question that he could save the humans but Question interrupts him, tells him to mind his own business. Stranger reminds him that he could save BA and his friends will all live; that a wave of his hand could reverse the inexorable effects of LL's terrible radiation experiments and forestall earth's imminent destruction, as is foretold. Question tells Stranger to keep it to under his hat!
1. NARR: Crime Alley.
2. VS: What is this? You dare show yourself now? Here?
3. PS: What?
4. VS: You heard me!
5. PS: I can help…change the future…
6. VS: No! Mind your own business!
7. PS: This is bigger than you! The fact that beings like myself even acknowledge your hat in the ring should humble you. But it doesn't!
8. VS: It won't.
9. PS: So close-minded. I can fix everything! A wave of my hand could end up reversing the inexorable effects of Luthor's terrible radiation experiments and even forestall earth's destruction, as is foretold. But you don't care about that, do you?
10. VS: Nope. Ever ask yourself why your reality-altering powers never seem to actually change anything? Why you people need souls anchored in reality? You're nothing but ghosts…a bunch of phantom suggestions…
74) Question admonishes PS to advise his mystical brethren like the Spectre to steer clear as well. Stranger reminds Question that intervention could save thousands of lives! Question wants complete non-interference, nothing more. Stranger reminds him again what will happen. Question says oh well. We did it to ourselves. Stranger asks Question if he takes full responsibility then, for the humans. Question says Hell no!
1. VS: …easily ignored!
2. VS: And tell your mystical brethren to steer clear as well. This is an affair for mere mortals to settle!
3. VS: And that is something you are not!
4. PS: You…
5. VS: All I ask for is complete non-interference, nothing more. Can you swear that? You're promising heaven without effort!
6. PS: I can save lives!
7. VS: I don't want to save them! I want them to learn!
8. VS: We did it to ourselves, Stranger!
9. PS: Then let full responsibility be on your head, Question.
10. VS: I refuse! Them and you! Let us each be hoisted by our own petard!
75) Close up of JK. HD takes JK's place at computer. HD in foreground as JK goes over by BA in iron lung w/ back to camera and gardening shears in one hand, something gross in the other. MK & KID watch helplessly. HD also asks about the old JLA satellite. Isn't the hunk a junk still up there? HD pulls up projection, but we can't see screen from this pg.
1. JK: You know what we need now? The JLA Satellite!
2. HD: Holy crap! That's a great idea! Lemme take over, here.
3. HD: Didn't you once use their whole old satellite against them? Boy, what a crime!
4. HD: I wonder if that hunk a junk is still up there somewhere.
5. HD: If we could bring down the old one and its abandoned replacement, we could calculate their correct trajectories! Those satellites could be the eyes on top of the smoldering ruins of the east coast "sneer" we're working on!
6. HD: If they hit dead center of Wisconsin & Michigan, respectively, that is.
7. HD: I'm gonna do it. I can reprogram both satellites from here!
8. KID: Oh my god!
76) HD puts a projection on the big board. JK loves it, finally laughs like the Joker of old. HD points out that he needs BA's confirmed thumb prints. JK says no problem, and produces bloody thumbs he cut from BA.
1. HD: And here's what it's gonna look like!
2. JK: I absolutely love it! !
3. HD: I rather thought you would. One problem, though.
4. JK: What?
5. HD: We need the confirmed thumbprints of a JLAer.
6. JK: Is that all? No prob!
7. HD: Are those what I think they are?
77) DT in satellite. His people are freaking out! He's on the horn w/ LL and looks for a minute at JK's projected aerial view of the new United States. Asks if he should stop them. We should only see and hear DT's side of convo. DT gets response from LL something like "Nah." DT says, "You know boss, it does kind of look like a smile."
1. DT: Relax, guys. We can live up here for up to eight years.
2. DT: I just wonder if Calendar Man feels so smug down there now, at ground zero…?
3. DT: Yeah, boss. You're looking at the new US east coast as of the moment those satellites hit.
4. DT: Should I try to stop them?
5. DT: Yeah, really. I wouldn't either.
6. DT: So, do I still have to use that dullard's earthly calendar?
7. DT: Shit.
8. DT: Yeah, boss, it does kinda look like a smile.
78) JK kicks BA's iron lung and it rolls over towards MK & KID. They're released from their manacles and see BA all bloody and near death, yet not quite succumbing. MK looks at KID: We have to end it.
1. JK: Well, Kid? Ever dance with the devil in the dark moon light?
2. HD: That's not how it goes.
3. JK: Bah!
4. HD: Look, Kid, you can guess what we want you to do.
5. HD: Problem is, he has to be dead. Right?
6. MK: Sorry, Kid…it's the only way! If only we weren't under their watchful eye.
7. KID: Well, I'm not gonna kill him…
79) MK says "It's our best shot!" HD's busy typing in co-ordinates for the shuttle, but yells at KID: Everyone says "not it." Everyone looks at JK. "You have to do it." "Who else could do it?" "Who else should?" KID says ETERNITY!
1. MK: It's our best shot!
2. JK: And don't forget about the homicidal maniacs waiting to kill you if you don't reanimate the wasted Bat-Feeb!
3. KID: Dude, I am not going to do this!
4. HD: Somebody's gotta kill him in order for the Kid's powers to work.
5. HD: I wanna do it…but even I must defer to you in this, Joker. Who else could finally do it?
6. HD: Who else should?
7. MK: It's over, Kid. Do it now!
8. KID: oh, god…ETERNITY!
80) BG heads up long-ass stairs. As she enters JK's suite, she sees HD, JK on one side of room, GC, MK & KID on the other…and blue and gray Batman standing there in the middle, just getting filled in.
1. BG (CAPS): "All the juice must be going to the roof, Alfred."
2. AL (CAPS): "We've got back-up generators running life support to the wounded, for now."
3. BG (CAPS): "Good. Try to get ahold of the Titans to get Starfire off world. I'm going upstairs."
4. BG: Oh!
81) BA walks over to HD and shows him both clenched fists as if to say, "pick one." He then takes HD out in one punch. HD slumps to the floor. Batman grabs JK in a headlock and gets on the horn, presses "redial." HA answers. On our end, we hear: "Yeah. It's me. That's right. I would. (pause) Would you? Talk to you later." He hangs up and says it's over.
1. BA: Yeah. It's me. That's right.
2. BA: I would.
3. BA: Would you? Thanks.
4. BA: It's over. The quake won't happen now and the satellite thing is a joke.
5. BA: I don't even have to reprogram anything…the satellite's respective fail-safes work just fine.
82) What Batman's mad about is how they've let LL take over everything…this is clearly his work. And where the hell has Superman been during all this? KID says no one knows whatever happened to SM and everyone else who might have the wherewithal to go shakedown LL are on lockdown in a goddamn monastery! KID forgets who he's talking to…gets respectful quick.
1. BA: I'm disappointed but not surprised.
2. KID: What should we do?
3. BA: Do? Aren't you already organizing an uprising against Luthor? Isn't Superman?
4. BA: Where is he?
5. BA: Where are they? Locked in eternal struggle with the world crumbling around them?
6. KID: More like everything is being destroyed without them. Luthor keeps to himself, and nobody's heard from Superman in years.
7. KID: And anyone else with the wherewithal to confront Luthor is on lockdown in your goddamn monastery!
8. KID: …er, I mean, shall I ready the Batplane?
83) He asks MK & KID how long KID can keep him in this plane. KID says he's got plenty of time. Keep helps explain KID's powers. Batman asks if KID can bring back two people at once…KID says, "You fix everything, save the day and maybe I can send you both back together." Batman smiles and heads over towards AL & BG for goodbyes. Close-up of KID going "goodbyes?"
1. BA: Someone get the plane ready. You and I need to talk.
2. KID: S-sure.
3. BA: How long can you keep me on this plane of existence?
4. KID: Oh, awhile. I once kept Madame Blavatsky…
5. BA: And you can bring back more than one person from the past at a time?
6. MK: The Kid can reanimate any historical or mythological figure…
7. KID: But I can't change the past, present or future!
8. KID: I'll tell you what, though, Batman….You fix everything, save the day and I'll pull down whoever you need.
9. BA: Good! Excuse me, I have goodbyes to make.
84) Batplane zips through sky. Batman drives, BG, KID & GC tag along. KID is asking questions, GC puts finger to mouth to say "Shhh!" Bats gets on horn w/ Ollie, asks if he knows where President Prince is. Bats says, "Oh, you're with her now. Where?" "That stupid office," replies OL. Bats smiles. But they'll soon be on Paradise Island for the Olympics. Ollie mentions something about LL attending as well. BA has a look like, "now we're getting to the nitty-gritty."
1. KID: Where are we going?
2. BA: Ollie. Talk to me.
3. OL: Shit, how'd you find me?
4. BA: Well…I detected it.
5. OL: …Who is this?
6. BA: Where's Diana?
7. OL: …Where do you think? That stupid house. I'm there now, but we're headed for Paradise Island for the Olympics. I'm gonna protest at Luthor's stupid speech.
8. BA: Luthor's there? …Of course! September 28th!
9. OL: He will be. He's gonna have some kinda big press conference. Maybe he's gonna finally address knocking the earth off its damn axis!
85) Cut to mob scene in front of the stadium on PI. Protesters, press, spectators, the works. GC, BG & KID are getting out of batplane. BA talks w/ OL and JO real quick, but they're interrupted by the President herself.
1. BA: Well, I'm disgusted.
2. OL: What, you thought people would've learned to think for themselves by now?
3. BA: No, I thought it was our job to keep things from getting this bad. Keep up the good fight…
4. OL: Against whom? The villains you guys left for us? Am I supposed to be grateful for your weird-ass monastery/rehab?
5. BA: I won't be held responsible for what subsequent pretenders to the throne did to besmirch the mantle of Batman!
6. OL: Your average guy on the street doesn't know who's beneath the mask, man…we just want the real Batman!
7. BA: And what if you had him…you and the rest of this rabble…
8. OL: After all this time, I'd think it was pretty damn obvious we can't govern ourselves…
9. WW: Maybe you can't, at that.
86) Things get sour real quick when BA asks why LL was allowed to do this! WW's offended and starts to defend her position. They all argue a bit, but BA shuts 'em up and OL & WW look at each other. Then they're interrupted by spectators…"Look, up in the sky…"
1. WW: But someone has to.
2. OL: Do they?
3. BA: Cut the shit. In your current duties, Diana, you only serve the wishes of the leaders.
4. BA: Don't look so smug, Ollie. You only represent the voice of comfortable dissent.
5. BA: In between is everybody else; those that don't have enough perspective to see either end of the spectrum!
6. BA: But the real question is: What the hell have you been doing while Luthor's been ruining everything?
7. BA: I can't believe you let him outsmart you…and where the hell is…
8. SPEC1: Hey! Look! Up in the sky!
9. SPEC2: It's a bird…
10. SPEC1: It's a plane…
87) The sky is filled w/ the Superman robots from the Fortress of Solitude. They come bearing LL, who is holding the bottle city of Kandor. LL looted the Fortress! In background we see BA asking JO to see his signal watch. JO says SU hasn't responded in years; wanting to have nothing to do w/ the outside world. JO starts beeping out Morse code on his signal watch.
1. SPEC3: It's, uhhhh…
2. LL: Hello.
3. LL: These gentlemen are with me.
4. LL: You see, I've just been to the Fortress of Solitude and you'd never believe the gift shop!
5. BA: Tell me you still wear that watch.
6. JO: Sure…but he hasn't responded to it in…
7. BA: Use Morse. He'll want to see this.
88) WW asks LL why he has Kandor. LL says today's his birthday and he wants the big payoff he's been waiting a lifetime to revel in. The robots keep everyone at bay while LL speaks.
1. WW: Why do you have Kandor, Luthor?
2. LL: Funny you should ask, Ms. President. You see, today is my birthday and I want the big payoff I've been waiting a lifetime to revel in!
3. LL: Don't try anything, by the way. I reprogrammed Superman's robots.
4. JO: Well, duh!
5. LL: Ah, Jimmy. How the hell are you still alive. Heh. I control the press, so no matter.
6. LL: As for you, my dear, you couldn't stop me as a super-hero. I control all the offices at your disposal and yours itself. What do you expect to do to me as a mere president?
7. LL: You…none of you…could ever stop me. I nudged earth's axis to slowly change from yellow to red in order to cripple Superman.
8. LL: He's here in this bottle…the one place on earth he could retreat since I made the environment inhabitable to him. But Lexcorp is taking care of victims of radiation poisoning and the rotation axis isn't off enough to cause any catastrophic damage, so boohoo!
9. LL: But why should I spill all the beans at this late hour?
10. LL: Well, I'm through with the surreptitious approach to world domination…I now want to do it the old-fashioned way!
89) Cut to Kandor, in the gyro-stable environment. They're unaware they've even been removed from the Fortress. We see LOL and SU (in glasses) in their house. SU hears signal-watch Morse about what Luthor's up to. LOL & SU have their moment, then SU activates teleporter (Note: You probably know no one in Kandor has super-powers due to its mirroring of Krypton, not Earth's atmosphere, right? I don't want them flying around or anything)
1. LL (CAPS): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
2. SU: What's the matter, honey?
3. LOL: Ooh! I just got the strangest chill!
4. LOL: Anyway, we could swing by the store and pick up your new prescription. It's funny that you actually need glasses now…Clark? What is it?
5. SU: Rao! You won't believe this. Luthor's raided the Fortress and now he's attacking the Capitol with my robots!
6. LOL: What?
7. SU: He's stolen the whole bottle city…we'd never know thanks to Kandor's gyro-stabilizers…
8. LOL: Once outside Kandor, you'll have your powers back.
9. SU: Yet I can't remain out there for too long.
10. LOL: You have to go. This is a job for Superman.
90) Back at the stadium, the robots are attacking everyone-think the Chicago democratic convention! WW is now really pissed-they tried to do it the civilized, American way…now it's back to the old ways…then we focus in on the bottle in LL's hands.
1. LL: Ah, this is great! After all this time playing puppeteer behind the scenes, I feel like a retired general getting to execute one final campaign!
2. OL: You've finally gone senile! You had everything!
3. LL: Oh, shut up, you stupid hippie! This is my big moment here and, frankly, crushing you would be meaningless to me.
4. WW: Dammit, Luthor! We were doing it! We saw ourselves not using our abilities to their fullest extent…fighting dependence on the government instead of the causes of human crime itself! We were changing the world, goddammit!
5. LL: Yes, we realized there was more to gain by applying our talents within the system. And it worked! Everything I wanted to have happen, happened or is happening!
6. LL: That's why I'm having my final revenge now. I'm getting too old to merely watch others actualize master plans conceptualized in a board room.
7. I forgot the thrill of getting my hands dirty. And there's nothing dirtier than this bottle full of alien contaminants!
8. If I break it, they'll be released into my new atmosphere only to shrivel and die! Anyone want to start a rousing chorus of "99 bottles of beer on the wall?" How does that song end?
91) Suddenly, SU flies up out of the bottle and grows into neat flying Superman pose. In background OL, BA, KID, BG, GC & WW still struggling w/ robots. SU says one word which deactivates the Superman robots, but LL's smiling! Once enlarged, SU becomes dazed… still, he grabs LL right off his feet!
1. SU: ["Robots stop!" in Kryptonian]
2. LL: Haha! Perfect!
3. SU: Luthorrrrrr!
4. LL: Long time no see, Superman!
5. LL: I see you've been hitting the bottle!
6. SU: Unnhhh
7. LL: Feeling it already, aren't you Superman?
8. LL: You see, all solar-powered people like yourself have already headed for greener pastures, so to speak. The reason being that I've basically been turning the entire earth into an enormous chunk of Kryptonite!
9. LL: Happy birthday to meeeee…!
92) SU uses what's left of his strength to grab LL by the ankle and run him up to the roof of the White House. He dangles LL over the ledge. LL looks at the superheroes like, "why aren't you people helping me?" BA laughs loud and heartily and argues why should they?
1. SU: You've finally done it Luthor.
2. SU: You think you've been waiting a long time for this? As long as I can remember you've been trying to kill me! Now you've turned my entire adopted world…that I love and that you distain, that I protect and you destroy…against me!
3. SU: And all these years even I myself have wondered why I've put up with your petty, mortal intrusions!
4. SU: Now you've made it so I have no choice! No jury in this world, or any other, would convict me!
5. SU: You've goaded and finally cornered me to where I have no choice but to kill you! …I have to kill you to live!
6. SU: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUTHOR!
7. LL: W-why aren't you people helping me…
8. BA: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
9. LL: Why in the hell should we do that?
93) BA addresses the crowd now. SU looks at BA wearily, like, should I do it? Batman Shrugs (moneyshot). SU's hand on LL's ankle wavers.
1. BA: Superman's right. You've done everything in your power to keep us at bay. This is the direct result of all your years of deceit, obsession and design!
2. BA: You wonder why they need super heroes? We came to everyone's rescue in the old days, and that didn't change anything. We got smart and tried to use our secret identities as we once used our masks; to work within the system to improve things and that didn't work either.
3. BA: The people themselves don't need us. They vote to keep things just the way they are!
4. BA: We can't change social mores, or collective apathy. We can't make people, rich or poor, think of the greater public good or their own best interests.
5. BA: We can't make people less entitled, nor more dependent. Our roles as Super-Heroes are just as futile as those of politics and government!
6. BA: Both jobs serve the same function: That of parent, protector, provider. We are kept in debt and servitude because what would destroy this corrupted system more than a self-reliant, self-sufficient population?
7. BA: What is a king without his kingdom?
8. SU: Should…should I do it?
94), SU & LL teeter on the brink. Both men fall. SU falls to the ground, but WW appears under LL w/ an American flag.
1. LL: You can't…
2. SFX: TWUCKK!
95) Nice shot of Luthor impaled on WW's flagpole, bloody flag flying, blood-stain on ground should make Superman logo? SU and everybody reacting in background. LL's hand is still twitching, we see his K-ring. Superman noticed that Kandor got dropped when he initially grabbed LL. There's a crack in the bottle…
1. OL: We should burn his body. Make sure he can't regenerate or something.
2. SU: Oh no!
3. JO: It must've dropped when Superman initially grabbed Luthor.
96) LL's ring shoots its kryptonite pebble into the crack in the bottle. SU says Oh shit, LL's ring then shoots out a force-field around the bottle. LL dies w/ a smile on his face. SU's gotta get that thing back to the Fortress pronto!
1. BA: We'd better get you back to the Fortress, Superman. You can use your rocket to get safely off of earth.
2. WW: Luthor…
3. OL: Is that what I think it is?
4. SU: Anti- or Slow K…affects non-powered Kryptonians…and humans!
5. OL: He was prob'ly gonna drop it into the bottle…
6. JO: Now there's a force field around Kandor keeping the radiation in!
7. OL: I got an incendiary arrow for Baldy right here…
8. SU: It's an Ultra Force Barrier…I might be able to do something about it at the Fortress, but not here!
9. SU: During the time we've lived in Kandor, Lois has become inured to Kandor's Krypton-like environment! Dammit, Luthor!
97) OL says they should get Supes out of there. WW grabs BA's arm. BA pulls it away. Then Bats grabs KID and says it's now or never! KID agrees, saying Eternity! Bats walks into crazily-lit tunnel w/ his back to us. Walking towards us from the tunnel (not a boom tube!) is Bob Kane!
1. OL: Let's get you out of here, Superman.
2. WW: The people, Batman. They'll get there. They'll get it.
3. BA: No they won't.
4. BA: C'mon, Kid, it's now or never.
5. KID: Oh, right. ETERNITY!
98) OL asks who the old guy is. A smiling KID remarks that he'd asked for "Batman's father!" Bats puts his hand on Bob's shoulder. Bob turns and they both walk w/ their backs to us into the void.
1. OL: Who's that?
2. KID: He'd asked to see his father again.
3. OL (CAPS): Far out.
PART FOUR
99) Not too long afterwards, fires encompassing countries, earthquakes changing land masses, gaseous clouds and storms rocking whatever land masses aren't on fire. The ocean is boiling. A block of pns inset as we see SU at the Fortress of Solitude, weakened but pretty much just like an older guy, sets up a rocket to leave earth forever. He has to. The lead vessel containing Kandor as the last thing he puts on his ship.
1. NARR: PART FOUR
2. SU (CAPS): Out in the vast universe, there once was a planet called Krypton.
3. SU (CAPS): It died. I was born there, but I lost my parents and the entire culture of Krypton as my parents and people lost their lives.
4. SU (CAPS): I was cast adrift, alone into the universe. As I grew into a man, I've visited many of the universe's countless, fascinating cultures. One was my adopted home.
5. SU (CAPS): There once was a planet called earth. I grew up and found the love of my life there.
6. SU (CAPS): Not a physical chain-reaction as befell Krypton. More of an internal struggle amongst earth's inhabitants that leaned towards hatred and self-destruction.
7. SU (CAPS): But much like Krypton, internal corruption caused it to decay from within. It wasn't as close a call as my leaving Krypton…there was no explosion in the background when I left earth for the final time. But left to their own devices, it would come quickly.
8. SU (CAPS): Placards adorn the shoulders of the disenfranchised reading "Earth is not long for this world."
100) Deep space splash w/ inset panels of the Fortress. SU puts Kandor inside, SU whistles. Krypto appears, they both get in the ship. The rocket takes off w/ SU's rocket disappearing into vanishing point.
1. SU (CAPS): But if there's one thing I'm good at, it's adapting to and embracing newfound civilizations. And I'm not bad at surrounding myself with those that love me, either.
2. KRY: AWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
3. NARR: The end.
Dedication: To all the writers and artists who gave us all those great stories. Oh, yeah…and Ayn Rand. More grist for the mill!