Lost

Disclaimer-I own nothing!

"He stumbled!" Landing his signature move with nothing but perfection was beyond rare for the great Victor Nikiforov. But, he just didn't care anymore. Nothing really mattered at this point. He didn't even want to be here right now. Yakov and Yuri had dragged him here but his heart wasn't in it. Hadn't been in it for months, since that day. Getting up after his footing was off for the quad lutz he got back into his program. The audience was silent, in shock over seeing this side of him. Well, he always wanted to surprise his fans. Coming back here was a mistake. Nothing but the worst decision he had ever made and nothing anyone told him was going to change that. All he could focus on now was that day, the day everything went wrong.

It had been decided by himself and Yuuri that he was to fly back to Russia and find a place for themselves. They were going to live in St. Petersburg so he could reenter the season in time for Nationals while still staying as Yuuri's coach. Yuuri was going to stay in Japan for right now and pack up their things and then once he had secured the perfect place for them he was going to fly out Yuuri and their stuff. Both were really looking forward to it, they spent days working out all the little details before he flew to Russia. He was going to leave Makkachin in Japan but Yuuri told him it was better to bring him with him so he could better decide if the place would be good for the three of them. Plus, seeing the dog when you tried to rent was better he felt like. A landlord could see how cute and cuddly his best friend was so they would be more likely to rent them the place.

It took him two weeks to find the right place. That was longer than he had hoped but the first place he fell in love with was given to someone else so he had to keep looking. Having Yuuri ship out what he could once he officially had the keys he unpacked everything he could and bought everything they would need so they could cook and do other things here. The place looked amazing, Yuuri would love it. Contacting him they worked together to set him up for a flight and to get the things Yuuri hadn't been able to ship because he still needed them out to their place.

Grabbing Makkachin, they made it to the airport super early to wait. He didn't want to get there late and leave Yuuri alone in the airport since he knew he was still learning the language. He taught his boyfriend a little before he left but he still had a long way to go. Seeing Yuuri's flight on the board was still on time they got comfortable. Now he was getting nervous. What if Yuri didn't like it? What if the apartment was an ugly color? Or, he didn't like the view. What if he hated St. Petersburg? Feeling his leg shake out of nerves he tried to breathe. Standing, he took Makkachin for a stroll, everything would be fine. Yuuri would love it, they would be happy together.

Seeing the board that his flight was arriving he stood and watched as people left the flight. Telling Makkachin to be on the lookout for Yuuri his faithful companion stood close by and watched for the second they saw him. Seeing the gate close to prepare for the next flight Victor wasn't sure if he missed something. Where was Yuuri? Pulling out his phone he kept looking around as he text him to find out if they passed each other and just didn't realize it. Feeling his phone go off he looked down to feel his heart stop.

"I'm sorry." That was the only message he received from the other. He had messaged him for a better explanation and he never got anything, his calls wouldn't go through, he contacted Yuuko for her to know nothing. Everything was a blur from that point on. He didn't know how he got home, how he left the bed they once shared, when he started to attend practices again. Yakov yelled at him a lot, Yuri called him an idiot. He didn't say a word. What could he say? He couldn't even say his rink mates name without crying. What had he done wrong? He had only worked hard enough to make it to World's so he could hopefully see Yuuri again. It was only after he got here that he learned that Yuuri never even entered his nationals. He had fallen off the face of the earth and no one knew why.

Reaching the end of his piece he bowed to the crowd and started to make his way to the kiss and cry. Hearing his name he stopped and looked over towards the stands where he thought he heard that voice again. Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him again. Not seeing the face he had fallen in love with at one time he got off the ice and let Yakov bicker at him for all his mistakes.

0o0

Coming down the stands to take his seat he saw the Russian man stumble from the start of his program. This was even worse than his short program. Moving further down to the end of the stands he leaned over and yelled, "Come on Victor, focus!" Watching him shift his focus on the ice he thought he started to pay attention to what he was doing. What was going on with him? Never before had Victor been so lost. His movements had been sloppy, his footwork was just awful. Unable to watch him miss yet another quad he turned and ran back the way he came. Being stopped at security he saw an old friend come his way. Not even having to say a word he was let in thanks to the other and ran to wall.

Not saying a word he was protected from being thrown out by his friend and former coach since he was up after Victor. Watching him stumble and fall all throughout his program once it ended he leaned over the wall and yelled, "Victor! I am so sorry!" Getting the others attention after he had bowed he saw him look this way and stop. Stepping back as Victor exited the ice his hood fell back as Yuuri felt his once lovers' arms wrap around him and pull him close.

The crowd gasped as they saw Yuuri Katsuki in Victor's arms. No one knew where he had been, some assumed dead, others said he just ran away. Family and friends had no idea where he had gone to, he just vanished one day. To see him here was something no one expected.

Falling to his knees as Victor broke down and fell to his as well Yuuri couldn't say anything. He felt awful for what he did to the other. He let fear and anxiety take control of his life and ruin the best thing he ever had. Feeling his sweat shirt becoming wet from Victor's tears Yuuri felt himself cry on the other's shoulder. Being torn apart after a minute Yuuri stood off the side while Victor sat and listened to his scores. The older skaters' eyes never left his face, he was scared he would vanish again if he looked away. They didn't have be together to still be able to read Victor so well. Once free to leave and see he wasn't in last place though nowhere near close to the podium Yuuri felt his hand grabbed and dragged away from the crowd and coaches.

0o0o

Finding a quiet place to talk Victor refused to let go of Yuuri's hand. He was heartbroken but to know he was alive, he was here made his heart beat again. He never thought the other was dead like some claimed but to know not even family knew where he had vanished too made matters worse.

"Why? Tell me why you didn't come?"

"I'm sorry. I…everything hit me that I was flying to Russia and I loved you but I got scared and I couldn't do it."

"Where have you been all of this time? Your family didn't even know."

"I went back to America. I spent a lot of time in Detroit. I didn't want to come back but…I heard you had a rough season back."

"You left. You deleted me from your life. I should hate you, I want to hate you. But, seeing you here. I'm scared I'll lose you again." Squeezing Yuuri's hand with his own he felt his body shaking with the thought that he could lose him again. He didn't want to wake up from his dream.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just…maybe this way you can live your life the way you deserve, happily."

"I want you Yuuri. I've been miserable without you. Please. Take me back. If you don't want to come here then let's go back to Japan. I…I can't do this anymore. You've consumed so much of me that I can't be happy without you. If you don't want me then please, tell me now." Pulling him close again he didn't want to ever let him go, he wouldn't survive it. For the first time in his life he knew true love and he wanted it back. He wanted all he gave Yuuri back so he could move on if Yuuri was done with them.

After the shedding of more tears they had to move from their location. Being invited back to Yuuri's hotel Victor agreed and still refused to let go of his hand they walked down the street. He would give anything to not wake from this dream. Being let into the room he stood in the corner while Yuuri took his coat and shoes off and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You can sit."

Slowly moving to the desk chair he couldn't take his eyes off the other. "You aren't wearing your glasses."

"I got contacts in America. I found out a lot of people knew me by my glasses."

"And…you dyed your hair?"

"Lightened it just a bit."

"Did someone encourage you with this?"

"Victor. I didn't not come to Russia to leave you. I still loved you. I just got scared. I told you this."

"So there is no one else?"

"There is no one."

"Oh."

"Did you find someone?"

"I've been in a fog since you didn't get off the plane I don't even know where I am anymore."

"I'm really sorry I hurt you so badly. Do you think…maybe…just maybe we can try to start over? Leaving you with no contact was a mistake I know that now. I never meant to hurt you this badly."

"Yuuri. I love you. I want to try and pick things back up. Though, I know no one around me will be happy I just can't let you go unless you tell me you are over me."

"I'll never be over you."

Not thinking straight Victor stood and moved to Yuuri to kiss him. Those lips he had missed, that scent of his standard body wash, the texture of his lips, everything he had missed was in front of him again. His heart started to flutter again, for the first time since he stood at the airport alone he felt it beat again.

"Stay with me Yuuri. Please."

"Let's go home Victor."

Looking into those eyes he could see clearly; he kissed his boyfriends lips again. "Let's go home." He was going to take this hand and never let it go. He wasn't going to lose Yuuri again.

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I'm sorry, no Destruction sequel yet. I am finishing a story on another account and then working on that one (it's plotted though). This is just a angsty one-shot to let you guys know I haven't forgotten about you. And this started after I saw a video this morning where Yuuri tells Victor that he wants to end things after the Grand Prix.

~Femalefighter~