Set Fire to the Rain
Katara rolled over and saw the sleeping figure next to her, feeling the sick sensation she got every time she woke up – seeing his skinny little back with the blue arrow running down it, his narrow shoulders moving up and down with his breathing. And how much it tortured her knowing that the man she loved was a mere few doors down, with the woman he loved. Oh, how she longed to be in there with him. What she would give to see his strong, sturdy back instead. She often imagined planting kisses on his scar, her lips brushing the rough, raw surface. If only she could; it would be so easy to just get out of bed, walk a few steps, and throw herself into his arms.
But she wouldn't do it. Her duty was to Aang. Katara knew that if she wasn't with Aang, he would never settle for anyone else – and they had to repopulate the airbenders. It was the only way to continue their long journey to peace and balance. But what was making love without the love? And he was still so young. Barely 18 – still just a child. Of course, he didn't act like one. The war had made him grow up fast. He was very wise for his age, as he had always been. But even though Katara tried to justify her decision, it still came back to the same realization – Aang was her brother, and she was in love with Zuko. But she had lost her chance with him when she chose Aang all those years ago.
Katara breathed out, slowly, before throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, and padding slowly over to Aang. She touched his round cheeks and planted a tentative kiss on one of them. His eyes fluttered open, and Katara's closeness startled him a bit, but he soon returned the kiss. "Good morning," He said, throwing the covers off himself. He was stark naked, his pale white body striking against the deep red sheets. Katara still felt wrong looking at him like this, even though years had passed, and he had bedded her more than a few times. But the thought that in just a few short months… she would be marrying him… well, she tried very hard to keep that thought from her mind.
Katara rushed to the chest of drawers on the opposite wall and pulled out a simple red frock. She was getting awfully tired of wearing red, but it was all that was provided to her here in the Fire Kingdom. Aang had decided to stay with Zuko and help him rebuild the world his father had attempted to destroy, and naturally, Katara stayed as well. It was nice, being treated like royalty, and in a way, she almost qualified as it, being the girlfriend of the Avatar and all.
Suddenly Katara felt a pair of skinny white arms around her waist, and a soft kiss planted on her neck. She tried to return the gesture, by letting her soft, brown skin press into his as his lips found her collarbone. She tried to imagine that the soft baby skin against her belonged to someone else, but this only made her turn ridged, and the pulled away. Aang looked at her quizzically, and asked, "What's wrong?"
Katara turned around and smiled at him. "Nothing, just a little sleepy is all." She threw the dress over her head to avoid any more of the touching. She could handle it at night, in the dark, when she couldn't see exactly who it was. In the dark she could pretend it was the Firelord. She could pretend she could feel his warm breath on her skin, his soft hands caressing her body nimbly and smoothly – not awkwardly and inexperienced like Aang's. But she had to keep that out of her head. Her duty was to Aang, and that's all that mattered.
Hand in hand, Aang and Katara walked to the dining hall to eat breakfast. The hallways were lined with the typical fire nation memorabilia and emblems – just a firm reminder of why the hand in hers felt so wrong. Just more reminders of what could have been. She remembered not being able to sleep at night, mere weeks before the comet arrived. She would walk outside her tent and see Zuko sitting outside of his, seemingly waiting for something. She would creep over to where he was and sit with him, her head leaning on his strong shoulder. They never uttered a word, but they didn't need to.
"Why don't you go sit down? I'll get you some breakfast." Aang said, gesturing over to the dining table. It was long and grandiose, with a fiery tablecloth and candles lighting the room. Zuko and Mai were already sitting across from each other, giggling over a quiet, shared joke. As Katara shuffled over, Zuko's eyes met hers for a fleeting moment, and her knees buckled. She plopped into her seat, as far away from the happy couple as possible. The way he looked at her, with those intense, golden eyes, hidden slightly by his thick black hair, was enough to send her into a state of shock. How lucky Mai was that she could reach out and run her fingers through it whenever she pleased. Katara had sometimes imagined becoming the official royal hairdresser just to be able to feel it.
"Good morning, Katara." A smooth, low voice called from the end of the table, a little hoarser than usual. She looked up, and saw those golden eyes resting on her azure ones, and her heart skipped a beat. How many thousands of times had she looked in his eyes, and still had this sensation, this… longing. "Good Morning, Zuko." She smiled, resting her head on her hand, and tucking her hair behind her ear timidly. "Good morning, Mai." Mai waggled her slender fingers at her, and went back to sipping her tea. Katara blew a lock of hair out of her face and slumped down in her chair. Aang was sure taking a while. He was only prolonging this awkward encounter.
There was no more banter exchanged, so Katara sat quietly, until Aang came with the tray of food - steaming white rice, soft dumplings, lychee juice, and bowl of rust red ice cream. "Thanks, Aang. Looks delicious." Zuko had offered to have the royal staff wait on us for breakfast, but Aang had insisted we have alone time in the mornings. Just the two of us. Aang dug into his rice after pouring a generous helping of sweet sauce over it. Katara sipped at her juice, and her eyes slowly slid over to Zuko without her permission. They traced his perfect jaw line, his pouty lips, his sharp nose… She closed her eyes and imagined unspeakable things. "Katara, are you alright?" Aang asked, his mouth full of dumpling. Katara smiled at his childish behavior. "Yes, I'm fine. Just thinking." That answer seemed to satisfy him, and he resumed his feast. Katara closed her eyes once more and let her thoughts take her away on their fiery wings, far way.