A/N: At the wedding reception in Season 1 when Chloe tells Rae to stay away from the gang, Rae listens. She never confesses about being ill.

Rae keeps to herself at college. Even her ex best mate Chloe, has her group of friends now and that group doesn't involve Rae. Sure, the gang is at college but Rae hasn't spoken to any of them since college started. Even Chop comes by on his lunch break to sit with Izzy, Archie, and Finn. Rae just thought she could stop talking to them and they wouldn't notice because, why would they? Chloe made it clear that they were her friends first and she had a point. They only talked to her because of Chloe so since Chloe had moved on to new friends, the gang would have no reason to want Rae around. They'd each called though. For the past three weeks a day didn't go by without one of them calling her house.

Linda had quickly learned to just tell them Rae was busy. She didn't like having to lie for her daughter, didn't like that her daughter was ignoring people that clearly cared for her but Rae wasn't budging. She knew it was just guilt or something. They probably thought they did something wrong and wanted to know what. Or maybe they were trying to figure out why Chloe wasn't talking to them either and hoped Rae would have answers. Either way, Rae wasn't going to bother. She missed them, missed having people, and talking to them would hurt too much.

Today, Rae's walking over to her favorite empty table in the school's caf. It's tucked into a corner by the window. Perfect for sneaking food into her mouth when no one is looking and writing in her journal without the fear of someone reading anything over her shoulder. With her almost empty tray, only a cup of grapes on top of it, Rae is stopped by Stacey and her crew sans Chloe.

Blocking Rae's way to her table they circle her like vultures. Rae's eyes dart around to make sure they haven't brought the attention of anyone else with them. She can see Izzy looking over quickly before saying something to the lads. Finn looks up and Rae looks away. They're about to see firsthand how pathetic she is and she doesn't want to see how the look on Finn's face when he hears what they're about to say.

"So, Rae." Vicky says, "Are you a prude just because yer a fat cow or are yer a fat cow cause yer a prude?"

"Nah, she's a prude cause nobody with eyes would touch her." Amy answers.

Rae rolls her eyes and waits for their uninventive school yard comments to stop. Stacey seems to notice how little this is actually affecting Rae and decides to kick it up a notch. It's no fun if there's no reaction. Pretending to sneeze, Stacey yanks her hand up to her face swiftly and with the motion flips the tray out of Rae's hand. The tray clunks to the ground almost too loudly and the grapes start rolling about in every which direction.

"Fuck." Rae breathes out before looking around the caf to find all eyes on her and Stacey's crew. So much for staying under the radar.

"Too bad yer boyfriend ain't here to help." Stacey says while twirling her ponytail.

"What boyfriend?" Amy smirks.

Then, as if the day couldn't get any worse, Finn hops up from his nearby table and starts picking up the tray and grapes. None of the girls understand what's happening and are too stunned to do much more than breathe. When he's done he swings an arm around Rae's shoulders and gives her a peck on the cheek as if it's totally normal for the pair of them. It's like that morning after the sexy party all over again.

"There ya are girl, been waitin' for yer." Finn says without even looking at the other girls around them.

"Ya've got to be jokin'" Stacey says, "How could ya be with…well…with that."

Finn closes his eyes for a moment, resting his forehead against the side of Rae's head.

"That wha' Stacey? All I see here is a girl tryna eat her lunch and you lot are takin' the piss. For wha'? Actually, save it. Just stay away from Rae alright?" Finn says before leading himself and Rae over to his table.

Izzy and the boys are smiling up at them as they take their seats but Rae feels like a beluga trying to swim with minnows. She's too much, too different. She sits there waiting for someone to ask her to leave, waiting to wake up from this freakish dream. Or at least for Finn to take his clothes off and ravish her on the table before she inevitably wakes up from this dream. Yeah, ravishing first, reality second.

"Ya aright Rae?" Izzy asks, twirling her fork around. There's a sadness in her eyes that Rae can't full register. Maybe she's pitying Rae?

"Fine. They weren't that inventive today." Rae shrugs.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Archie asks.

"Raemundo that aint right. Nobody should talk to ya like that." Chop says, eyebrows pulling together seriously.

This is too much. Rae scans the caf to see if Chloe's anywhere to see them. When she comes up with nothing Rae guesses Chloe must've just stayed home today. Either way, this is fraud. This isn't just backpack full of bullshit this is replacing blood and veins with bullshit. Rae can't pretend she's a part of the gang, can't let them pity her and make her feel important again. They're just being nice.

She gets up from her seat, sees how they all look up at her with what looks like sadness in their eyes. They can't be sad. No, Rae's just confused. They don't actually miss her and thinking they do is making the space between her eyelids fill with tears, a stinging she can't let herself have in front of them.

"I go-gotta go." she hooks her thumb over her shoulder and bolts out of the caf.

The lockers and posters of in the hallway blur beside her, the murmurs and chatters around her ringing incoherently in her ears. The wetness on her cheeks aches, feels like sitting at her mother's wedding reception watching the gang laugh and smile without her. She told herself they were already fine without her. That's why she left the reception early, before any of them could see her. Chloe would take care of letting them know about her illness and that they wouldn't be talking to Rae any more. Not that they'd want to after they know the truth.

Rae makes her way to her favorite bathroom, the one that was repaired a last week but she put up a new out of order sign so no one else would use it. She sits on the toilet, it's disabled so she grips one of the bars beside her and lets the sobs out. They can probably be heard if anyone was determined enough to listen to what's happening in the bathroom but she doesn't care. She just lets it out. Lets out the guilt of letting Tix down, of letting the gang down, of being everything that she is. Then to see them and have them act like they were all still friends, that hurt the most. It hurt because she knows they're never going to be the gang plus Rae.

When the bathroom door starts to open Rae holds her breath. This doesn't happen, never had before. It's open just a crack but that's enough to feel like the space has been breached.

"Rae?"

It's Finn's voice. He sounds…concerned? Hurt? There's something behind the softness of his voice but Rae's still trying to fight her sobs, stay as quiet as she can. She can't think about what he's hiding in his voice or else she'll crack and start sobbing again.

"I'm comin' in Rae. I know ya here." He slips in and closes the door behind him. He's in a white t-shirt, sleeves rolled up, jeans, and a red flannel wrapped around his waist. He looks gorgeous, he always does.

"I should—"

"Go?" he cuts me off before plopping himself down on the floor in front of me. He keeps his heels together and rests his arms on his knees. "What's goin' on Rae?"

She breathes out a small humorless laugh. Where can she even start? Everything's gone to shit and here she has Finn's beautiful brown eyes looking up at her like he cares. Maybe he does. He's kind and quiet and makes her feel like she's more than just shit. Makes her feel more than her illness. But that's when he didn't know about her illness, he must now. That's probably why he followed her in here. Was worried crazy Rae would do something stupid again. How did he even follow her? She had a head start, she's not fast but she got here quick.

"How did—" she's cut off by her own sobs, finally bubbling up after being pushed down for so long.

"Know you were here? Seen you come in here before." Finn says like it's obvious. "I see you Rae. You're-"

"Hard to miss I know."

"Ya what?"

"Nothin." she mumbles before wiping at her face. "Thanks for checkin' on me but I'm fine. Gang is probably missin' ya."

Finn laughs a little but there's something dark behind it. His face, which has been soft and kind since he walked into this bathroom is suddenly hard.

"We miss you Rae. We worried about ya. What happened? First you was just muggin' me off now ya not talkin to any of us. Not even Archie. Just kiss him at the rave and never speak to him again?"

"Kiss him?" It takes a minute for it to even register what Finn could even be talking about. "At the rave? You saw that?"

"yupp." the 'p' pops and sends a sick feeling to Rae's core.

"That was nothing, Archie knows that. Not all of us that kissed someone at the rave ended up dating them ya know."

It's back to hurt. Those bushy eyebrows and puppy dog eyes look like Finn has just been punched in the gut.

"Don't act like you don't know. Chloe told me to stay away from you so I am. She found my diary, told yas about it and that's it. Sucks but you were her friends first." Rae says before getting up and pushing past Finn and leaving the bathroom to go to her next class.