Title: we're not broken, just bent
Fandom: Warrior Cats
Characters/Pairings: Darkstripe, Tigerclaw, Goldenflower; one-sided Dark/Tiger, Golden/Tiger
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Warriors, savy? Title comes from "Just Give Me A Reason" by P!nk ft. Nate Ruess.
Authors Note: Yes, this is Dark/Tiger. Because I needed more fanfics on them and because they give me so many feelings. Warning: this will hurt you if you love this pairing.
Summary: "Two pieces of what was the perfect flower lay at his paws, but in that moment Darkstripe really doesn't feel anything other than the cold and painful beating of his heart. He's heartbroken and betrayed. He really wishes he could feel nothing at all."
Words: 1,200~
Darkstripe reruns his speech in his head for the umpteenth time that night, checking his reflection in a clear, small pool of meltwater one last time. His dark gray-and-black tabby fur is groomed, sleek and streaked with silver in the moonlight; he had run his tongue over it numerous times as he sat alone in the warriors den, struggling to keep down the prickled fur strands on his back.
He's been preparing for this night for almost a whole moon, and now that's he's actually going to do it, he can't help but feel a wave of discomfort and fear twist in his stomach. I'm actually going to do it, he thinks, taking in a deep breath as he struggles to compose himself. I'm going to tell Tigerclaw how I feel about him.
In reality, being in love with another tom was almost unheard of in all of ThunderClan's time. There were some rumors about a few medicine cats, who had only taken up the position because they were attracted to the same gender and didn't want to be put in the awkward situation of choosing a mate. Darkstripe himself could hardly fathom having to choose a she-cat as a mate; sure he respected them, but cared for them in that way? Never.
Now, as he stares at the dark path ahead of him, twisting between oak trees and thick undergrowth, he closes his eyes for a brief second, pushing away the dark thoughts of rejection from his mind. Opening them again, he looks down at the ground, where a marigold flower resides at his paws. It's in full bloom, and was the brightest and most flourished in the patch; dark orange-red petals, each of them lined with a bright yellow-orange color, not diluted or wilting in the very least.
Darkstripe picks up the flower in his mouth, the stem in between his teeth (though he's very careful not to bite down too hard as to bend it or cause the slimy insides to run on his tongue) and the beautiful part of the flower drooping toward the ground. Taking in one last breath to reassure himself, he begins walking forward, following Tigerclaw's sweet scent.
For a brief moment, he swears he smells another scent mixed with Tigerclaw's, but it goes away in a few seconds (he can smell it coming back, that strange yet too familiar scent of another warrior intertwined with Tigerclaw's. He ignores it).
As he walks, he tries to remember everything he wants to say to his former mentor and closest friend, the list of things that he had prepared that morning. I just wanted to tell you that I really, really care about you – more than just friends. I've always felt this way about you, and I wanted to tell you because I'm tired of hiding it from everyone, he thinks, scrunching his his nose bridge in distaste at how...desperate it sounds. He's not desperate, just...tired.
He's tired of hiding his feelings from everyone in ThunderClan, of pretending to agree with Longtail as he converses with Darkstripe about the prettiest she-cat's in the Clan, of trying to act like he feels like Goldenflower's new interest in Tigerclaw is okay for him, because it's not. He doesn't want to watch Tigerclaw become a father to some queens kits, watch their happiness from the sidelines while he's stuck with a broken heart.
Because that feeling just really hurts.
So, once he saw Tigerclaw going by himself on a hunting expedition, Darkstripe really couldn't wait any longer. He knew he had to say it, to just tell the other tabby how he felt (and pray that he felt the same way).
As he crosses between two bracken bushes, Darkstripe weaves between the almost tawny-colored tendrils of a bramble bush, but pauses when he hears the deep voice of the object of his affection. He breathes in again, sighing in displeasure as another twist of fear jolts through his body.
I can do this, he reassures himself, blinking and glancing down at the petals of the marigold. This flower was special, he realizes. Picked only because it was perfect, because Tigerclaw only deserved the best and the most perfect of things.
Yeah, but I'm definitely not perfect. Darkstripe flattens his ears to his head as he just stands there, his claws unsheathing and digging into the ground as insecurities decide to come into light once more. I don't know what I could possibly give him that a she-cat couldn't. I can't bear kits, and I'm hardly the best at hunting or fighting – even tracking!
But then, he realizes, he knows Tigerclaw better then any she-cat could. He didn't love the other tom because of his looks, or his prestige, or any of those other things that queens sometimes looked for in toms – he loved him just for the real Tigerclaw, the one that he's positive only he's seen. The one that can make Darkstripe laugh no matter what, the one that really does care for only ThunderClan's best interests, not his own.
Darkstripe realizes that he's the only cat who's ever really seen any soft side that Tigerclaw could possibly have, and that, he thinks, definitely says that Tigerclaw must care for him. Why else would he open up to him?
It's now or never, Darkstripe flicks his tail tip, straightens his spine, and looks one last time at the marigold. It's either he loves me or...
As he begins walking forward once again, he hears another voice, definitely different from Tigerclaw's, contrasting in it's feminine tone. His heart begins to drop, but he forces himself to go forward, knowing that it must just be a she-cat who went hunting by themselves running into the deputy and having a small chat. That has to be it.
Pushing away two thick leaves with his nose, a smile on his face and his yellow eyes lightened in the moonlight, he pauses, the smile slowly falling down as he looks at the scene in front of him.
Tigerclaw's broad and large outline, illuminated in silver light, is standing in front of Goldenflower's smaller and petite form, the obviously very pretty she-cat smiling and laughing as she converses with the deputy.
"My, is the mysterious deputy of ThunderClan really asking me if I'd like to be his mate?" Goldenflower asks, purring in delight as Tigerclaw sheepishly looks at his paws.
Tigerclaw looks back at her. "Well...yes. Only if it'd be alright with you – I'd hate to be a burden." He tells her, and Darkstripe can taste bile rising in his throat at the sight of Goldenflower stretching out her muzzle to touch her nose against Tigerclaw's.
"It'd be my honor."
As he watches the pair twine tails and begin to walk off together, toward where a glowing river is only faintly seen between the branches of oak trees, Darkstripe bites down on the marigold stem.
It snaps between his teeth, the flower bouncing up a little as the petals hit the dirt, the other end just falling flat on it's end. Two pieces of what was the perfect flower lay at his paws, but in that moment Darkstripe really doesn't feel anything other than the cold and painful beating of his heart. He's heartbroken and betrayed.
He really wishes he could feel nothing at all.