"The return of that twelve-year-old Yandere girl, whose fanfiction was terribly long and didn't quite make much sense to anybody, except for maybe them"
Written by somebody else.
"Jaaaaamess" I wiggled a little and woke up with a jolt. "Hey, where'd you go, man?" I realized that random camping trip, to school, to camping trip thing was all just a dream. Makes sense, something that idiotic couldn't happen in real life. Also, I remembered watching Odd's newer videos, and he's twenty, not twelve. I walked to my bathroom. Was I hungover? On drugs? No, I don't do that stuff, unlike every other fanfiction character. I pondered what it could be.
I looked in the mirror and jumped back aways. "Ohhhh!" I stepped forward and realized that I too, was twenty. "How could this happen?" My head started spinning. Not remembering any birthdays past my twelfth, I tried to sit down on the toilet seat to try and make sense of it all. I heard a splash and realized someone had left the toilet seat up. But that didn't matter as much as thinking. I was a twelve-year-old when I went to sleep, I must have been, I thought. But then why- it didn't matter, I concluded. No use focussing on what I couldn't understand.
"Moooom! Mom, where are you?" Glancing across the small apartment I woke up in, no person was found. "How about Dad? Daaaaaaaaad?" The heavy weight of the realization that I was truly alone, pulled me down as if a box of dumbells were just dropped onto my heart. Which was stupid, I decided, because if a box of dumbells were dropped onto my heart, I'd surely be dead! Slightly glad not to be dead, I headed for the exit, wherever that may be. I still had a buttload of James stalking to do, so when I finally found it, I was relieved.
My eyes widened, (as they always tend to do) when I remembered I needed my dinky digital camera to take pictures of my Oddity. It was a cheap, flimsy little thing, but it was all I had. I searched around the cozy place. When finding nothing, I let out a loud groan. Bzzzzt-bzzt! Feeling a small vibration in my pocket, I reached in and pulled out a key ring. Going for two times the charm, instead of my usual three, I shoved my hand back in and grabbed a phone. Wait, PHONE? I DON'T HAVE A PHONE, I thought.
I looked at the caller ID on the screen, and it had a picture of a guy I felt I should recognize. In the grogginess of just waking up, my eyes scrolled down the phone a little bit and read something I completely missed before. "Boyfriend". This contact name was set as "Boyfriend". Who even does that? Why not enter their actual name, I'm sure you'd still know it's them. I thought. Finally, I answered the call.
"Hello?" Just before I heard the angelic voice, it dawned on me who the guy was. "Where are you? You were supposed to be here an hour ago!" James huffed into the phone. Internally I was screaming, my heart racing faster than a man being chased by petting zoo monkeys, angry and armed with gross things. "Where?" He laughed an annoyed laugh. "Where? Where? WHERE? AT VIDCON!" Whoa! He's not usually like this. I thought. And I should know. I stalked him for YEARS. After a notable silence, James' sighed. "I'm sorry. It's a lot to ask of you to come all the way here, you're probably still in your bed or something." "It's fine," I said, even though it really wasn't. "There's just one thing I ask of you, my little Oddball." "And what's that?"
"WAKE UP YOU IDIOT!"
My eyes opened quickly, to see a pretty ticked off Jaiden. "Why were you STILL sleeping?" She asked, tapping her foot rapidly, eyebrow raised, arms crossed. "I have no idea," I said and smiled, glad to finally be me again, instead of that crazy dream stalker girl. Jaiden walked off mumbling something to me, but I was too happy to hear it. I'm me! "Honey! I made you breaaaaakfast!" Huh? I walked out of the room to see the stalker girl with two gold bands on her ring finger. "I'm so glad we're married! Now we can see each other FOREVER!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"