Disclaimer: One Piece isn't mine, even in another dimension. I told myself I wouldn't say such an unimaginative disclaimer, considering the subject… I promise to do better next part xD

The Mighty Captain Usopp's Great and Wonderful Journey into another Dimension 1- Unexpected

Usopp landed heavily. Quickly thinking, he decided to scout the area out in the most careful, safe way imaginable. After all, he didn't know where he had landed yet. Pretending to be dead, he laid there for quite some time, analysing his surroundings. Wooden deck, the familiar sound of waves against the prow- this appeared to be their ship. But it couldn't be, could it?

Last he had known, that giant bear-freak Kuma had attacked him, and scattered the crew with his powers. Where were the others, if they'd been hit? Frowning, he realised the 1000 Sunny was currently on the ocean . . . had someone stolen it and tried to sail off? Those bastards! Wait 'til he told Luffy, Zoro and Sanji about this, he grumbled.

In all his fury, he didn't realise he'd gotten up, breaking the cunning illusion that he was dead. However, as no one had been around to notice his landing, it didn't really matter. Approaching the front, or 'bow' of the ship, as experienced sailors such as himself called it, Usopp searched. They sure had sailed fast . . . there was no island in sight in any direction!

"Hey Usopp, what's up?" asked a familiar voice.

"Luffy!" Usopp hugged the rubber boy, thrilled to see him so soon. Luffy and Nami were just standing near him, as if nothing was wrong!

"Woah, what's up?" Luffy stepped backwards, weirded out by his sniper's sudden outburst.

"And what happened to your hair?" asked Nami curiously.

They're so calm- what's happened here? There's no way they found each other and set sail so soon, especially without me and the others. Particularly me, Usopp mused.

"Hey guys . . . ," He began, his voice casual.

"What's been up lately? The last few days, I mean."

"Hmm?" Luffy looked slightly dense, focussed on picking his nose. Nami hit him lightly on the shoulder, before answering the question.

"Nothing much. Just sailing and relaxing after our last adventure. But seriously, what happened to your hair? It looked better with the afro."

Nothing's happened lately! It's like we never landed at the Shabondy archipelago in the first place . . . Usopp thought furiously, mind panicking. He answered Nami's strange question about an afro automatically, his mouth telling the lie easily.

"I was fishing out back, and accidentally hooked a sea beast. Fortunately, I choked it with my afro, saving my life in a heroic feat of ingenuity."

"Ohh… you looked better with the afro. Stronger."

"Well, it was that or drown," he nodded, barely listening at this point. It was like they'd never met that freak with the bible in his hand . . . Could he be in a parallel dimension?

"Well, see ya. We're gonna go make out in my room," grinned Luffy, before Nami elbowed him in the side. Usopp stared in shock, horror, and amazement as she kissed his side better, playfully pulling him away.

He really was in a different dimension.

"Oh man, I don't think I can handle this- I just remembered I have I-can't-be-in-a-different-dimension-or-else-I-die disease. . . ." Usopp sank to his knees, trying to comprehend what he had just seen. Absorbed with each other (it felt wrong just thinking it), Nami and Luffy continued down below deck, not noticing the shivering or wracking coughs coming from poor Usopp, both of which were sure symptoms of I-can't-be-in-a-different-dimension-or-else-I-die disease.

After some time, Usopp decided to get up, hoping to find something that proved him wrong about the other dimension thing. Maybe the others were just messing with him, that's all. It wasn't like they had different powers, or an extra head or something. A few minutes after he had decided to get up, Usopp was poked with the end of an ornately-hilted samurai sword.

"Hey. Quit loafing in the middle of the ship."

"Zoro? Is that you?" Usopp looked up eagerly, tears streaming from his eyes . . . before curling into a ball again.

"I didn't see that . . . I didn't see that . . ." he muttered to himself.

"Did you catch a peek at something, you pervert!" Zoro kicked out at him with her boot in frustration. That's right. Her boot.

Standing before him, with that same glare, short, spiky green hair and 3 swords, it was undoubtedly their swordsman. But she- he- it? was wearing knee high boots, along with an old-fashioned loose yukata, that unconventionally ended mid thigh.

"No, no, no, I saw nothing . . ." he quivered, even more afraid of Zoro (Zorolina?) then usual.

"Damn right you did." She continued across the boat, before settling at the end for a sleep, arms behind her head. Usopp stood still the whole time, debating jumping overboard before he met anyone else on the boat.

One eye opening lazily, Zoro glanced back at him.

"Hey, didn't you have that afro before?"

"Oh, that was taken apart at the last island for cleaning. I haven't bothered putting it back together just yet, that's all," lied Usopp smoothly. He didn't even notice he was lying that time, due to years of practice.

Zoro frowned slightly at the explanation, before yawning widely and going back to sleep, deciding her sleep was more important than whatever he was talking about.

Usopp went around the main cabin, searching for Chopper's hut. Good old Chopper, his buddy. He couldn't have changed much, right? More importantly, the crew's doctor was the only person with a small chance of knowing something about dimension travelling, considering how many scientific journals he read. It was a slim chance, but then so was Luffy's of becoming Pirate King, if you asked him.

Hey, someone had to be realistic around here.

Knocking on the door tentatively, Usopp listened for a reply. No answer. Checking the room, it looked the same as always; books, an operating table, a miniature cherry blossom bonsai in the corner . . . all sans Chopper himself of course. He wasn't sure to be relieved or worried- Chopper was clearly similar to his usual, sane self, if his room was the same. But the fact he wasn't there meant he could be stuck here even longer . . .

A throat was cleared behind him. Turning, he saw Robin, dressed like usual in pants and a tank-top. Smart, dependable, Robin . . . if anyone had an idea how to help him, it was her, right?

"Wat 'choo lookin' at?"

Oh dear.

"Um, hey Robin. Have you seen Chopper around?"

"I ain't seen tha deer, nope." She sounded . . . different . . .

"Oh, okay. Well, maybe you could help me. See, I, uh-"

"Spit it out or leave." In this light, she even looked a little different . . .

"Um, well, have you ever read anything about dimensions?"

"Pfft. Read? Wut you take me for?" Yep.

"Robin . . . are you black . . .?"

"That's black ghetto bitch to you." She grinned, her outlook completely different from the shy, gentle Robin he once knew.

"Hey, and what happened to tha fro? Was almost cool on you."

Is that the only difference I had in this dimension or something?

"Chopper wanted to dissect it, for study or something. I think he wanted to see if he could give us all afros, you know, to power up the team." These lies came like second nature to him, or even first nature. Reflecting, it was fortunate that he was the one who had travelled to another dimension- none of the others would have been able to blend in so easily, with his magnificent lying ability.

"Hmm . . . I could see myself in a 'fro. Not bad."

"So . . . you don't know anything about another dimension or universe that might help me?"

"Nope. Even if I did, it'd cost ya," grinned Robin, casually looking at her nails on one hand, as she folded her arms, put her hands on her hips, gave him a 'talk to the hand' gesture, and flipped him the bird a couple of times.

Together, it didn't look nearly as threatening as she probably thought it did.

Usopp sighed, and went further down the ship, ending up in the kitchen.

"Hey Sanji." He crossed the room, staring moodily out of a porthole at the ocean. As far as he could tell, their previous kitchen had been below sea level, so the boat was obviously different as well.

Sanji greeted him distractedly, stirring two pots and one frying pan as he did so.

"Guess your cooking's gotten busier with 9 people around, huh?"

"Ten, you mean." He muttered, chopping some tomatoes while stirring with one foot.

"Wait . . . did you say ten?"

Usopp felt yet another stone settle in his stomach, and hung his head out of the window. Sanji just seemed busy, meaning his difference in this world might be more subtle. At the very least, it was reassuring to see someone hadn't changed completely on this twisted boat. Like seeing a familiar face…

Hearing the door bang open, Usopp was treated with yet another encounter with Zoro (Zoroette?).

"Hey, are you done yet? I'm starving."

"It'll be done when it's done," grunted Sanji.

"Who's the one who caught that fish, chef boy?" Zoro glared. Deeper than usual, I mean.

"If it wasn't for me, you'd be eating it raw, marimo, so sit down and wait."

They were treating each other like normal! Usopp felt relief flow through his body as they fought over dumb things. It really was the same old Strawhats deep down inside . . .

"Yeah? Why don't I put you in your place, big boy?" she unsheathed one sword threateningly.

"Go ahead and try it, as long as you don't break a nail!" Sanji smirked. The food was left behind, starting to burn as they stared each other down. Before, to Usopp's utter disgust, making out furiously.

All sound and intelligent thought was washed from his mind, as he threw up copiously out of the window. Seeing Luffy act coupley . . . that had been weird. But these two- it was so wrong, and unnatural, and vile . . . he threw up again, his throat retching until he couldn't any more. Far below him, a merman swimming in the easy wake of their ship gave him the finger, narrowly avoiding his projectile disgust.

"Some things, you should never see . . ." Usopp resolved to get out of this freaky dimension as soon as possible. Still staring straight out the window, in an attempt to block out the noises behind him, Usopp didn't notice the person behind him.

"At it again, are they? Geez, they're so sloppy."

Wait. That voice . . . he stiffened, wondering how the heck that person had gotten onboard the boat. Surely it couldn't be . . .

"Guess who?" Soft hands were placed over his eyes, as someone sidled behind him on the chair.

"No way," Usopp's eyes went wide. Sanji was right- there was a tenth crew member . . .

A/N: Can anyone else spot my subtle anti Zoro x Sanji views? Sorry if you like that stuff, but I'm not going to be seriously using that pairing, or any other, for more than comedy purposes here. How very mean of me, leaving it at a mini-cliffhanger to get you all back . . .

Criticism is encouraged, as this is my first comedy larger than a oneshot. Hopefully I'll update again within the week~