BUTTERCUPS
Disclaimer: don't own OHSHC.
"I love you Kaoru."
And my world collapses.
How can I know if he means it, or if he just wants me to stop crying? I can't help but remember – Hikaoru hates it when I cry. He told me when we were nine and said that he would do anything to make it better. To make me better.
So is that what he's doing now?
"I'll stay with you forever."
And my heart is breaking.
He just wants me to be better – to stop having bad dreams and to stop crying all over the place. But I can't help it, what that girl said set me off – so now I'm crying in the middle of the host club activities for today and everyone is staring at me...and Hikaoru is holding me so tight my ribs are creaking...and telling me he wants to stay with me.....
"I don't need anyone else."
I break down; I can't help it. He's getting more panicked now – upset because he's made me more upset and he doesn't understand why. He doesn't understand that he's killing me. He doesn't understand that I love him more than I should, that the idea of him leaving is more painful than anything – he doesn't understand that the only thing I've wanted to do for the past month is kiss him...and to kill Haruhi....
"Please stop crying little brother."
There, he's said it. The one thing no one else has ever heard him call me before. Proof that we are two, not one.
And my heart breaks, completely. I can't breathe, I can't see, I can't feel. My legs are collapsing, I'm almost screaming in agony – but there's no sound. I'm scaring him, and I don't mean to, I want to stop, and try to pass if off as a joke, but I can't....not anymore.
"Please don't leave me."
And I freeze. Because Hikaoru is crying now, holding my body in his arms because I can't support myself.
"Please...."
And my eyes open and I do the only thing that I can to keep myself alive, to keep breathing. I kiss him.
And he kisses back.
Slowly the world comes into focus again and I can see his golden eyes staring straight into mine. Telling me what he can't say in words, because, let's face it – it's Hikaoru.
'You – are such an idiot.'
And what can I do – but smile?