Disclaimer, I don't own these characters.
no pairing HG MM,
"Myrtle, I don't know if Harry has had a chance to say thank you so I wanted to stop by and tell you how much we appreciate your help," Hermione told the ghostly guardian of the 2nd floor bathroom.
"Well if you could convince him to take another soak in the prefects' bath that would be a good way of saying thanks." The apparition said in her slightly dreamy singsong voice. Causing the Gryffindor girl to blush.
"I – I – I can try but I don't think he'll go along with it," Hermione stammered.
"Oh you could properly motivate him I'm sure," the ghost's face showed a mischievous smirk. Myrtle turned away and put her hands on her hips, she looked over her shoulder in what Hermione recognized as a Betty Grable pose. – giggle – "Harry after being in that cold lake, I don't feel comfortable in the water, a warm soak would be nice – besides, I haven't had a chance to wear this new swimsuit."
Hermione was flabbergasted, "Myrtle, you seem kind of obsessed."
"Well you would be too if you died while you were sorting yourself out." Myrtle harrumphed, "Do you know that it is pretty much impossible to release that kind of tension as a spirit."
Hermione tried to parse what Myrtle was saying for a moment and then it hit her. She went scarlet, "Oh – oh!"
"I thought you said Olive had teased you," Hermione got even more scandalized, "You mean Olive was your girl- "
"God no, Pure blood cow," Myrtle said with venom. "Olive was the fifth year prefect and she had caught Charlus and I in a broom closet. She made fun of my glasses being steamed up."
"So you came in here?" Hermione asked perplexed
"Because I was right on the edge of finishing and we got interrupted by that officious pillock." The ghost blushed, Hermione didn't know this was possible. "I decided to sort things out before going back to the tower. Getting alone time like that requires privacy charms which in my day almost painted a sign on the curtains saying 'Wanking in progress,' anyway that's when I saw those eyes and I'm permanently randy and my time of the month was just a few days off when I died and ARRGGH!" Myrtle streaked across the room and into her stall where she disappeared.
Hermione stood stunned for a minute.
"I'm sorry, and thank you."
The fourth year Gryffindor turned and walked out of the bathroom.
Restless spirit indeed.
Author's note: Cracky yes but my wife inspires my sense of humor with her own twisted wonderful brain.