"I'm not afraid of tomorrow. I'm only scared of myself."

[SR-71]

Remus Lupin is unaware of the countless stars in the sky. He is too busy staring at the moon with a frown etching lines on his face already aged beyond his years. He has been frowning this way since he was very small. He doesn't notice anymore if the frown is on his face or not. He takes in a deep breath and holds it, closing his eyes. He tries and fails to focus on the steady sound of the insects playing Marco Polo in the dark around him. He hears the screen door behind him creak obnoxiously as it opens and closes, but no footsteps follow the sound. He knows that now he himself is being watched. Lupin releases his breath, feeling as though his old enemy has yet again won the fight for his soul. A voice is then in his ear. A cool, undisguised voice that makes him feel as if he will win the battle one night.

"It's your birthday, Love. You shouldn't be focusing on such things."

Remus feels warm firm arms encircle him. He leans back slightly, his eyes still shut, and says,

"I know. It's just hard sometimes."

Sirius answers with only a squeeze and a sigh of his own. He knows better than to say "I know," or "I understand." He can hardly imagine, let alone know, the physical and psychological struggle for normalcy Remus went through every day, even his birthday.

"I can't believe you're with me."

Black frowns at the back of Lupin's head. But before he can answer, Remus continues.

"I feel like I'm going to wake up from this one day, and I'll be alone again. I can't comprehend sometimes that you could care about someone like me, a dark creature like me."

Sirius turns Remus around in his arms. His cigarette smoke colored eyes meet chocolate brown.

"How many times do I have to tell you this is real, and I'm happy? I am so happy being with you."

Remus smiles sadly and breaks the eye contact.

"You deserve so much more. I'm keeping you from someone better. Someone out there that is normal. You deserve normal. But I'm too weak and selfish to let you go."

"Hey, listen to me, Rem."

Lupin looks down again at Sirius.

"I love you. I don't want anyone else. You make me happy. And you want me to be happy don't you?"

"Of course," Remus says, shocked that Sirius had to ask.

"Well, you're just going to have to trust me when I say I am perfectly happy with you. We're perfect."

"But I'm not—"

"—We are perfect."

"But –"

"Perfect!"

Laughing, the couple embraces, swaying slightly in the warm spring wind. They kiss long and deep. A small satisfied moan is provoked from Rem's mouth as he revels in the feeling of being sheltered from the damning moonlight bearing down on him. Sirius leans aggressively further into the kiss. He places his hand behind his Love's neck while Lupin gets a hold of Sirius' hips and draws him closer. The couple simultaneously ends the kiss, and Remus sighs. A sly smile sneaks unto his face.

"You know, Pads, you're right. It's my 21st birthday and I shouldn't be spending it staring at something that makes me feel so awful. I should be setting my sights on something that makes me feel good…aroused."

Black's eyebrow raises and mischief makes his eyes glow in the dim light.

"I should be having fun, shouldn't I?" Remus whispers, playing with Black's dark hair in his long pale fingers.

Without another word, Sirius takes Rem's hand away from his hair and pulls him inside, nearly running. The screen door slams shut behind them, leaving the insects to their nightly games.