Hi! I'm Polish, so English is not my first language and I hope you will understand. The idea for this fanfic has been formulated for a long time in my head now. With little help from google translator, I gathered courage and started to write. I hope my version of events will interest you. This is corrected version of chapter 1, I tried to make no mistake so sorry if you find any, this chapter is also extended from the previous version lacked emotion and it seemed to me that I wrote the same "dry" facts from Bella's life. I also hope to be able to insert this chapter without deleting your comments they mean so much to me! If I do not succeed, I'm so, so sorry! Without further extension I will be very happy to read your opinions and I wish you a nice day! Enjoy! :3

Basia

Chapter 1

Bella Today

Remember the awkward, shy, silent and restrained loser that falls in love with a vampire? Well, that love has been replaced by hatred, and in this girl's place appeared a full of life, strong and confident woman. After all these years, I am myself and I don't regret any moment of my life, because all these events and all my choices have made me who I am now. Generally I am happy most of the time I just push away every bad memory one after another and over time I learned not to show pain that I feel and that will always accompany me. I survived more than anyone would have expected after my behavior. The truth is that I am broken in a million pieces and no one or nothing can fix me. Then why should I put my family on even more pain? They are not in a position to help me, but it would only hurt them knowing how much pain is inside me.

I still remember what he told me that day in the woods like it was just yesterday.

FLASHBACK

"We're leaving Bella" I looked at his face, which did not express any emotion. I can not read it, I look into his eyes and nothing, emptiness is the only thing I can see in it. Something doesn't fit here, why are we suddenly leaving and where are we going? Are we in some kind of danger? Did Alice had vision of something bad happening? I frowned.

"Okay, let me just pack a few things and…" he cut me off irritated

"No Bella, me and my family are leaving. Without you, I was lying when I saying that I love you. I do not and I don't want you anymore. "I felt like my heart was broken into a million pieces, thrown to the ground and stepped on it with anger. I couldn't catch my breath and the tears started to form in my eyes. All the time looking into his eyes I looked at even the smallest flash of any emotion, but I did not find anything. Before I realized that I opened my mouth, I heard my weak voice and the shaking voice, as if it belonged to someone completely different and yet I knew that it belonged to me.

"W-w-what?" That's all I was able to say, stuttering and shaking I felt I was getting weak. With every one of his next words I felt like someone was punching me in the chest.

"Look at you Isabella, how could anyone love you? You are nothing and you think you are good enough for me? "he scoffed" But I must admit I had a pretty good time during our sex sessions. By the way, I know that you weren't a virgin, no virgin behave like a bitch with years of experience. You was just a toy and nothing else and now... well I'm bored, even Alice enough playing in "Barbie Bella" I guess. " then he disappeared I heard only his mocking, empty laugh.

I collapse on clammy grass before putting myself in embryonic position. I made a loud sob one after another fighting to catch my breath. I felt unbelievable pain in my chest that was only growing as I realized what just happened had no heart anymore, he took it away and destroyed it taking with him when he left me. I don't know how much time passed but my sobs stopped, and tears have dried. Only emptiness and pain after the loss of the most important person surrounded me. I knew perfectly well that no one will be able to fix me. Nothing will ever be the same ... I'll never be the same again. I will not be able to live normally, not after what I did ...

END OF FLASHBACK

Two days after E ... He left me Jacob found me and brought home. I was taken to a hospital where it turned out that nothing much was wrong with me except a slight weakening of the body and dehydration. I refused to stay in hospital, so Charlie took me back home. I fell into depression and numbness. I didn't talk to anyone all the time sitting in a chair near my bed with empty eyes stuck on the window. Sunk in my own thoughts. I didn't eat, I didn't drink, I didn't slept and I did not move anywhere from my place unless I really was forced to do so.

Jacob came to me every day desperately trying to bring me back to life, to bring my any reaction and try to make me laugh or just make me smile. Nothing worked. Finally after two weeks I broke down and told him part of the story I could not hold it longer in myself, I felt I'm going crazy. He was there for me sitting next to me on the floor just rubbing my back friendly, trying to comfort me. Of course I avoided parts that I could not say, parts of the supernatural world. The next day he didn't appear, and the next and rest of the week. I called, I wrote, I begged him to just speak to me. I wasn't ready to lose my best friend. Especially since I just got it and I didn't want to be alone again. I desperately needed him, so I went to him only to hear him scream at me to leave him alone and him yelling at me that he no longer want to be my friend.

He left me. Again I was thrown away like a piece of garbage and it was too much for me. I returned to my earlier state. Emptiness reigned in my life. Emptiness and pain were my old best friends. The next week passed and Charlie didn't understand how in such a short time my physical condition could get so much worse. I didn't understand it ether but I still didn't move from my place in chair.

Exactly a month has passed since He left me there in woods. I looked and behaved like a zombie. I fell into anorexia pretty heavy one, I was thin, had sunken cheeks and huge shadows under my eyes. I was as pale as a ghost, but unlike the Cullens, my skin was more gray. Then during one of my uncontrolled nap came Victoria.

I don't know when I fall asleep, but I jumped to the sound of horrific scream coming from a room not far away. I immediately knew it was Charlie snap of the bed and ran to his bedroom. Door hit the wall of my force, but I was too busy looking in front of me. I was so shocked. I was too late... not that I had any chance against the vampire, but maybe I could somehow dissipate her. Make her take care of me, because she wants me and that would give Charlie a chance to escape. But I was too late, and cold, deprived of life body prove it to me each and every moment that passed. His cage wasn't lifting and his limp body was motionless. Even now I feels the cramp on my back at the memory of his pale face that been frozen in fear. I lost my dad and I didn't tell him so many things I wanted to...

I didn't care what Victoria would do to me, after all I wan't to die and I prayed at that moment for her to kill me. But her next words made me immediately change my mind.

FLASHBACK

"I was going to kill you and this one here..." She gestured to Charlie, "But since our dear Edward and his family have left you here to rot, without taking care of what you have to say. I thought I will kill him and your baby." then she looked with eloquent smile on my stomach.

END OF FLASHBACK

I immediately loved my child with all my heart and wanted for him or her to be safe. This little creature in me was my whole world and a reason for life, but it wasn't meant to be for me to enjoy it. Although my mind told me that I don't stand a chance. My heart made me fight for my baby. I immediately rushed for escape, with tears streaming down my cheeks I ran out of the room hear the sneering whine of Victoria. I didn't get far. Halfway down the stairs I felt the pain piercing my body, and then the darkness came...

I died…

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was the mass of blood around. My blood ... I don't know exactly how Victoria killed my baby but she did it. I sat down and wrapped my arms around my knees and stuck my head in them. I begin to sob, to cry in vampire style. Previously, I thought the worst pain I felt was when He left me, however I was wrong. Even now after so many decades and so many other bad events in my life, no pain has hurt like losing my child. I was sitting like that for two weeks, and finally the fire in my throat was unbearable and I had to hunt.

The rest of bad memories I will leave for later, now you know how I became a vampire. From the beginning I was on animal diet and never felt a strong thirst for human blood. From the beginning I had incredible control over my desire. I was depressed for a really long time and I didn't see any sense in the further existence. I remembered how Cullens told me about the Volturi, so I went to them, it was my first trip. I begged them for death, but they didn't agree. Instead, they proposed a place in their ranks. I didn't agree and left. I started to run. I ran without aim, wondering how to end my life.

Much has happened after I pay a visit to the Volturi. It was just worse I appealed psychopathic vampires like magnet. Like the danger when I was a human. But I survived. 20 years ago after running away from another psychopath David I ran again not carrying where. I accidentally come across my present family. They were hunting in the forest and I was surprised to learn that they were "vegetarians". It's been 127 years since E... He left me.

Within these short 20 years I fell in love with every member of my present family. We are as close to each other as possible and during these two decades they have helped me so much. Thanks to them I am now for the first time myself, completely myself and I never thought it's possible for me to be happy again. This doesn't mean that the pain isn't present, but I can say with great success that there is some happiness during the day.

Leonard and his wife Juliet are the heads of the family. Our adoptive parents and I couldn't be happier because of that. Both are strong, caring, loving, worrying about us and helping in all possible aspects even if it's just something as simple as choosing a blouse.

Leonard has short brown hair and a lightly muscled silhouette. Juliet is gorgeous and her appearance is as delicate as her soul. It has light blond hair, delicate features and a perfectly rounded silhouette where you need it. Matthew, Theodor and Oliver are my brothers and I know I can always rely on them. All three are very caring towards me and treat me like their younger sister. Each of them is muscular, not exaggerated but enough to scare if needed. Matt has bright blond hair, however, you may notice the beginning of the locks. Teddy has dark hair color and when he smiles you clearly can see sweet dimples on his face. Oliver has black hair a bit longer that creates a mess on his head but it's only adding to his appearance.

Now I know that none of them would ever do what the Cullens did to me. We are family and this means we stick together. Nobody ever leaves behind family members we fight for each other and don't leave anyone. The moment I realized it, I felt a huge pain. I was with him, but Alice, Esme and the rest... they were my family. At least I thought they were. I loved them all as my family and I thought they loved me too. But now I know it was one-sided like He said. They were only playing with me, I was just an entertainment to them and nothing else otherwise they wouldn't have left me even if he left me.

I'm not a typical vampire because of my family I discovered a lot of things in myself. I've seen before that my hair after transformation has become brighter so now I have the color on the border of the blight brown and and dark blond. Color of my eyes with the time from bright red turned into a deep sky blue. I am just as pale as any other vampire, and my skin is just as cold to any human being.

Thanks to my family I discovered that I don't need blood to survive, so I don't drinkit. I can eat human food, which is also not necessary and I'm currently working to make my family also eat human food, with Oliver I have managed to make it possible to live on human food for a long time, but every couple months he have to hunt while.

I am as fast and strong as any vampire. I am constantly discovering my gifts and so far I know that I have mental and physical shields. It is very useful when you meet new vampires who have different intentions towards us. Recently I discovered that I can control the water, so now I learn to control it, I can now keep in the air a little amount of water and slightly move it before I lose control over it and it will spill.

Now unlike my old version I love to sing, dance and play instruments. I love every aspect of music, I can play guitar and piano drums so far. I love learning new things like riding a motorcycle, new dance styles and playing new instruments. I live more than when I was really human and had a heart beat. I love with shopping and makeup. I love to draw and I'm pretty sure good at it.

As for the Cullens, I don't know what I feel for them sometimes I hate them all, sometimes I just simply in the world miss them, sometimes I'm indifferent, and sometimes I would like it to be like before they abandoned me even though I know it was all a lie . An illusion that I believed with all my heart. One thing I know for sure I hate HIM.

I'm Isabella Swan and I'm currently with my family on my way to Forks, Washington. I'm so excited! So long I wasn't there! I missed place so much!