A/N: I got the idea for this while watching Waitress last night. So the style of the fic is definitely influenced by it. Obviously, all of the characters in this fic are aged accordingly so this isn't totally illegal. Well, except for….eh, I won't ruin it for you. Happy New Year, everyone!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the cartoon character s used. Or the cocktail recipes, for that matter.Warning: Some of the characters probably will be OOC. I'll try to make them as IC as I can, though.
"'Ey, Pelekai! Stop daydreaming and get back to work," Vicky roared from the back room, where she was busy watching Laguna Beach.
"Whatever you say, Icky with a V," Lilo muttered under breath.
"What did you call me?!" Vicky's face was the same shade as her hair.
"Nothing," Lilo smiled sweetly, turning her attention back to her customers.
"What can I get you?" Lilo sighed as she pushed back her hair, hanging past her shoulders in sweaty clumps.
"Uh, surprise me."
Lilo resisted the urge to bang her head against the smooth wood of the bar. Great. He couldn't just ask for a beer or something. No, he was expecting a Lilo Pelekai original- she'd become infamous for her potent drinks.
The'I'd rather be sitting at home, listening to Elvis cocktail.'
One and half ounces Scotch
One ounce Sweet Vermouth
One ounce Dry Vermouth
Two dashes orange bitters
Stir well and strain into a cocktail glass.
"Here, one 'I'd rather be sitting at home, listening to Elvis' cocktail. That'll be $ 3.75."
"Anything for you, sweetheart," he said, handing her twenty, his gaze fixed on her chest.
"Uh, Thanks." Lilo accepted the tip with forced enthusiasm. Get the hell out of here, perv, she thought, crossing her arms over her chest. Luck was on her side tonight, the customer departed quicker than you could say, "I have boyfriend. Stop drooling over me, loser."
-------
A pair of rough hands encircled her waist, the stink of whiskey overwhelmed her; his breath tickled the back of her neck.
"Hey babe."
"Hey, Chester." Lilo busied herself with cleaning the bar top. She really didn't want to deal with him tonight.
"Aren't ya gonna kiss me?"
Dutifully, Lilo gave him a small peck on the lips, which he turned into more.
"Mmmm….when do you get a break?"
Gently Lilo grabbed his roaming hands and placed them at his sides.
"You're drunk. Go home."
Chester scowled, "Say you love me."
Lilo said nothing; she continued to wipe the already clean surface in a circular motion, anything to avoid the possible scene that was brewing.
"Go on, say it. Stop cleaning the goddamn bar and pay attention to me!" Chester grabbed Lilo's hand roughly, pulling her towards him. His face was inches away from hers; the harsh scent of alcohol made her want to vomit all over the dingy wooden floor.
Lilo swallowed. Hard. "I love you, Chester," she said tonelessly.
"Yeah. I know you do." With a self- satisfied smile, Chester gave her quick peck on the cheek and stumbled towards the door.
"We'll finish what we started tonight," he said, staring at her chest the way a starving prisoner looks at a Big Mac.
The 'My boyfriend is an inbred scumbag' cocktail:
Half ounce Casa Noble Tequila
One ounce Amaretto
One ounce orange juice
One wedge lime
Shake ingredients in a mixing glass with ice, strain into a cocktail glass and add lime wedge.
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"What can I get you?"
"Uh…..Uh…Um……" Patrick Star looked at the bottles of alcohol hanging from the bar with childlike fascination, "Pretty colors……"
Lilo rolled her eyes and looked at the bottle of Grey Goose on the edge of the bar. She would love nothing more than to crack open a bottle and drink herself into oblivion, but she knew that wouldn't solve anything.
"Uh…I like this one," Patrick said, pointing to a bottle of Southern Comfort.
"Alright." Lilo uncapped the bottle and was about to pour it into a shot glass when Patrick grabbed it back, "No! I want this one!" he said, pointing this time to rum.
"Fine."
"No! I want…….."
------
One hour later………..
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"What the hell do you want?" Lilo was ready to rip out her own hair in frustration.
"Uh, I dunno." Patrick shrugged his shoulders.
"Fine. I'll mix something up. It'll be surprise." Whatever." Lilo busied herself with bottles and glasses.
"Oooh! I love surprises!" Patrick clapped his chubby hands (well, more like points) together in excitement.
The 'Make up your goddamn mind' cocktail:
One shot Tropico rum
One shot Midori melon liqueur
One part Cranberry juice
One part 7-Up
Shake on the rocks; serve in a glass with no ice.
"Here you go. Now kindly get the hell out of here."
"Aww," Patrick's face fell.
Lilo shook her head, trying to get rid of all the pent-up anger and guilt. "I'm sorry Patrick. I don't know what I was thinking. Take all the time you want," she grabbed one of his points and smiled a thin, tired smile.
"Well, I don't want to now," Patrick pouted and hopped off the barstool, walking away.
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"Close up tonight, Pelekai," Vicky tossed her the keys, "and get him the hell outta here," she said, indicating a guy slumped over the bar.
Lilo nodded, "Sure."
The raven haired teen looked up at the sound of Vicky's voice; Lilo waited until she was out of sight before taking a seat next to the despondent teen.
"You're a bit young to be here, don't ya think?"
"Fake ID," he held up a small plastic card, Lilo examined it with a critical eye.
"Mc Lovin'? You've got to be kidding me," she raised her eyebrows in contempt.
"Yeah, stupid, I know," he looked down at his empty glass, biting his lower lip. He looked like he was about to burst into tears.
"You okay?"
"My girlfriend broke up with me." His lower lip trembled; he looked so completely pathetic that Lilo couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
Taking his hand in hers, Lilo looked him straight in the eye, "What's your name?"
"Stan Marsh," Stan pulled his hand away.
"Okay. Look, Stan, I'm gonna make you something that'll rock your socks off. Make you forget all about…."
"Wendy," he finished.
"Yes, Wendy," she said, beginning to feel the familiar buzz of energy pumping through her veins; the ecstatic rush of doing something she loved.
"This better have a lot of booze in it."
"Don't get your hopes up, Mc Lovin," Lilo's eyes sparkled with fun.
The 'Stan is a wonderful person and Wendy doesn't deserve him' cocktail:
One ounce Grenadine
Two ounces white grape juice
One ounce apple juice
One tablespoon vanilla syrup
One tablespoon lemon juice
"One 'Stan is wonderful person and Wendy doesn't deserve him'," Lilo placed the frosty glass on the bar; he took a sip gratefully.
"Damn, uh….."
"Lilo," she said with a smile.
"Damn, Lilo, you make one hell of a drink."
Lilo perched on the edge of the bar, pouring some Bacardi into a shot glass. She'd always liked her rum straight up.
"So, tell me about her. That is, if you feel up to it."
"Yeah, I guess." In between sips, Stan filled told her everything; how she put up with his constant puking in front of her during elementary school, her passion for any liberal cause, the way her face would light up whenever he was nearby.
He stopped suddenly, his gaze once again fixated on the bar, "Thanks. Here." He handed Lilo a ten dollar bill, "I probably should be going."
"Happy New Year, Stan," she said gripping the bar. She would love nothing more than to give a gigantic hug, or better yet, kiss him all over. But she knew it wasn't right. He was in love with Wendy and she was stuck with Chester, at least for the time being.
The 'Why I shouldn't like Stan' cocktail:
One and one half Apricot brandy
One and one fourth ounce Gin
One and one half teaspoon Grenadine
Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass and serve.
-----
The lights were out, a key scraped in the lock. Lilo hummed some tune she'd heard on the radio, preparing for the long walk home.
A shot glass, filled to the brim, rested on the wooden bar top. Looks like the 'Why I shouldn't like Stan' cocktail was not much of a success.