So this is the prequel to my current Merthur fanfic (I'll Love You Long After You're Gone). This is a possibly line of events that I think may have happened after Arthur's death at Avalon (*sob*). Yeh anyway – it's Gwen/Leon (or at least will be). This one will probably be more slow-going updates wise than my Merthur one, as I've not written as much of this one as I have for the other, and I'm mainly focussing on the Merthur one. Anyway hope you like it :) xxx
[Link to Merthur sequel: s/10024965/1/I-ll-Love-You-Long-After-You-re-Gone ]
"The King is dead…Long live the Queen!" Sir Leon's voice echoed round the large hall.
Calls of "Long live the Queen!" resonated back from the gathered Knights and subjects of Camelot.
Gwen bit down hard on her lip until she tasted the metallic tinge of blood. She needed to keep her composure, just for a little longer. She caught Gaius' eye and he gave her a gentle smile that told her to hang in there.
Her muscles were completely tensed with the effort of holding herself together; she was trembling with the sheer determination of remaining calm. Finally the last chorus of "Long live the Queen!" rang out, and the entire hall rose and stood in silence for several minutes out of respect, before Leon gave the nod that dismissed them. As the crowds filtered out in a silence that proved their deep respect over their dead King, Leon turned to Gwen.
"You were brilliant, my lady…" he smiled sadly. She looked up at him and saw her own sorrow and grief reflected in them.
"I need to leave." She whispered. He understood and escorted her quickly to a nearby corridor that was empty. The knight stood hesitantly in the doorway as the Queen of Camelot walked slowly up and down the deserted hallway, looking dreamily into space. 'Funny how it's empty', she thought briefly. Leon or Percival must have arranged this in case she'd needed the quiet respite. She stopped pacing and took a deep breath. No tears came.
She'd not shed a single tear since the news. She'd screamed, torn through the castle, into the town, out into the surrounding fields, and collapsed onto the grass, clutching at her hair. Percival and Leon found her an hour later staring blankly into nothingness, but still no tears. Neither had uttered a word but simply helped her back to the castle, supporting her weak body between their own stronger ones. Gaius, Percival and Leon had been her rocks, her foundations on whom she had relied heavily on these past few nightmare-like days. They'd talked with her, came to see her, informed her about everything that was going on and helped her get through each day whilst fighting through their own grief.
Gwen suddenly remembered that Leon was still standing in the doorway and looked up at him. He was staring down at his hands which were folded formally in front of him, his own tears dripping down his face. Arthur had been a good friend, as well as King to him, and with Gwaine and Elyan's recent deaths…she wasn't the only one suffering. Gwen wanted to comfort him but knew she couldn't. It wasn't like she could hug him! That would be improper. Neither could she tell him everything would be okay because she didn't believe that herself.
Sometimes Gwen wished she were still a servant. No one would bat an eyelid if she went to the tavern to try to drown out the sorrow. She could easily have been able to lean on Percival or Leon's strong shoulders for comfort or could sit in Gaius' chambers all day and evening and pour her heart out and not have to rule a kingdom alone...
But she was the Queen of Camelot now. She had to be composed, decent and get through this somehow. If Arthur were here, he could help her. But that was a silly thought. If Arthur were here, there wouldn't be all this heartache and sadness in the first place! Gwen squeezed her eyes shut tight as images of Arthur's cheeky grin and dancing blue eyes flashed across her mind and pierced her heart. She leant against the wall and sank onto the floor, her hands pressed fiercely over her ears.
"My lady…?" Leon's concerned voice came from above her; all Gwen could do was shake her head violently. She heard the clink of Leon's chainmail as he lowered himself to sit next to her. They sat in silence for several moments before Leon spoke softly.
"I wonder where Merlin is now…"
Gwen's eyes opened. 'No doubt lying under a table at a tavern' was what Arthur would have wittily replied to Leon, but her mouth remained closed. She only spoke when necessary these days. Gwen suddenly realised that she hadn't thought much about Merlin recently. How selfish of her! How on earth was he coping, wherever he was? He'd been Arthur's best friend longer than she'd been his wife. Since the day a short letter had arrived for her, informing Camelot of the news that had sent her world crashing down, Gwen had not heard from Merlin. How, when and where Arthur had died had been included in the letter, as well as the assurance that he'd had a King's funeral. He'd also informed her that Morgana was no longer a threat. But no details as to what Merlin planned to do with himself. Maybe he would return to Camelot one day…she hoped he would. She would have liked to talk with him, especially now she had managed to get Gaius to tell her all about him and his magic.
Percival entered the corridor and stopped at the sight of the Queen of Camelot sat on the floor. He looked at Leon next to her, who gave him the usual nod that told Percival Gwen was having one of her particularly painful moments. He stood for a few seconds more before joining them on the floor on Gwen's other side. Percival played with his hands, thinking about Gwaine. Gwaine would've said something to lighten the mood and make everything better. He sighed heavily as all three of them thought about the lives that had been lost.
The atmosphere was not a happy one when Gaius found them half an hour later in much the same position.
"Forgive me your majesty, but I do think you need to eat something."
Gwen glanced at Gaius and gave him a fleeting sad smile before rising slowly to her feet, the two knights following suit.
Gaius walked Gwen to her chambers, before patting her shoulder.
"Time can heal all wounds." He said in his wise voice. Gwen just looked at him, gave him another small smile before entering hers and Arthur's chambers. She shut the door slowly and was left alone in the big room.
A shiver ran down her spine, but the room was perfectly warm with a fire blazing in the fireplace. Barely glancing at the fine spread of food on the table, Gwen walked to the window. It was a beautiful sunset, with oranges and pinks merging into one across the sky.
Quietly opening the window, she let the cool evening breeze soothe her. Several times she'd done this, considering jumping down, down, down to the hard ground below. Today was no different. Would it really matter if she leapt out? It was only a matter of seconds and the all-consuming grief and agony she felt would be gone, she'd be with her Arthur again in less than a minute. She hitched her great skirts up and climbed up the little step to lean out further. However as usual, this was as far as she got. She wasn't scared of the jump or death, not one bit. But it was at this point that she remembered her duty. She was Queen of Camelot now, they needed her to be there and to be strong. Guinevere needed to lead the kingdom and bring it out of the dark reverie it had been stuck in since the battle of Camlann.
She sat down on the window's ledge, burying her head in her hands. Something like sobs shook her body but her eyes remained dry. She wanted to cry, to let it all out, but she couldn't. Why? It frustrated her. A sudden rage coursed through her body. Grabbing a nearby jug she threw it across the room, bursting into a scream of sadness and anger! The earthenware jug shattered against the wall, spilling its contents of water down onto the table and cloth below. Why had Arthur left her alone? How could he do this to her? He'd said he would come back to her on their last night together! He'd said he would come back just like he always did. Why wasn't he here? Why wasn't he sat in his chair, making fun of Merlin, and sending her those breath taking smiles from across the table? Why wasn't he holding her in his arms, kissing her neck, telling her how much he loved her? Gwen threw the plate of food across the room, shouting out again in an ear-splitting scream of grief.
The doors slammed open and Leon, Percival and several other knights burst in, brandishing their swords. They stopped when they saw the Queen was alone.
"Your majesty? Is everything…" Percival trailed off, looking from the woman whose hands were curled into trembling fists, to the remnants of a meal and a jug of water streaked across the wall and floor. He nodded to the other knights to leave. Sheathing their swords they bowed quickly to Gwen before exiting the dramatic scene.
"My lady, I think you need to sit down…" Percival led her over to a spare chair. Arthur's chair.
"NO!" she pushed his gentle hands off her arm and backed away from the chair. "Not his chair…" she whispered by way of explanation. "I'm sorry." She said to Percival who had looked a little alarmed and even hurt at her sudden outburst against his help.
"No, forgive me, my lady…I didn't realise…" a look of guilt mingled with sadness passed across his face.
"Oh Percival…it's not your fault…" she spoke sadly before she bent to pick up the shards of plate and clay. Neither Leon or Percival stood for this.
"My lady, let us do it!"
"Be careful, highness, they could be sharp!"
Gwen gave them such a ferocious glare that they blinked in shock for a moment or two before silently helping her.
A knock came at the door.
"Enter." Gwen called. Her maidservant, Elayne walked through, carrying freshly laundered clothes for Gwen.
"Oh my lady! Let me help you!" the quiet girl gasped.
Gwen watched the young girl put the clothing down and rush over. Now there were four of them clearing up the results of Gwen's loss of control. This was ridiculous.
With the little crowd of them in the small space, kneeling down to clear up the pot, Leon lost his balance and fell backwards, landing with a bump on his posterior.
Percival chuckled whilst Elayne looked at the knight, who was in an undignified heap on the floor, in surprise. Even Gwen managed a weak smile.
"Do be careful, Sir Leon." She said, turning back to the clearing up, which was nearly done.
Leon's mouth twitched. "Yes my lady."