It was a bright, sunny summer day. The bluebirds chirped a merry tune and there was a slight breeze to refresh from the heat. Truly this was a day to go outside, play some games, and have fun with your-

"ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP!" All of a sudden a large, black man appeared in front of the camera. He was bald and had a noticeable unibrow on his face and a gap in his teeth. He wore a dark green dress shirt, khaki pants, and sandals.

"My name is Hatchet," the man said. "You may recognize me from the hit television series known as Total Drama. I would hope so, considering you're watchin' it! Anyway, Chris ain't here this season due to some legal matters or somethin', so they gave me the job of hostin' this game instead."

Hatchet gestured behind him at a large mansion in the background. The mansion was three stories high and was surrounded by a hedge garden, marble fountains, and an iron fence with spikes at the top.

"This is where our contestants this season will be competing: the MacLean Mansion," Hatchet announced. "Yup. Since Chris is away from his mansion due to matters I cannot legally share with y'all, I figured I could get him back for all the crap he's put me through over the years. So I'm gonna throw a major party, invite twenty teenagers in here, and let them compete in challenges for one million dollars. Courtesy of Chris of course. Heheheh. This… is Total! Drama! HOUSE PARTY!"

Just as he said this, a car pulled up in front of the sidewalk Hatchet stood on, right in front of the gate to the mansion. Out of the car stepped a tall, white girl with stylish blonde hair. She wore a red, long-sleeved blouse with black polka dots, blue jeans, and black close-toed flats.

"Bye, mom! See you when I'm a million dollars richer!" the girl called as the car drove off. She turned to face Hatchet, but as she tried taking a step towards him, she tripped on the curb. "Whoah!"

Hatchet raised a brow at the girl and helped her up.

"Oh, thanks," the girl said as she dusted herself off. "Hi! I'm Susan. Am I the first one here?"

"Yes you are. The other contestants should be arriving shortly," Hatchet told her.

"Oh, cool! I hope some of them are cute boys. I like cute boys. I really want to meet a cute boy in this game. That's part of Total Drama, right? Meeting cute boys?"

"Er, you're askin' the wrong person," Hatchet said in a creeped-out tone of voice.

Another car drove up and dropped off another teenager, this one a boy. He seemed to be of Hispanic descent, and his dark brown hair was spiked in the front and rather messy in the back. He had a short beard on his chin as well as a lavender shirt with a red lowercase T, khaki shorts, and sandals. He seemed to be carrying a book under his arm.

"Barry. Welcome to the game," Hatchet greeted.

"Why thank you, Mr. Hatchet," Barry said as he shook Hatchet's hand. He then turned to Susan. "Hello. I'm Barry. What's your name?"

"Well, that depends, do you want just my first name, because that's Susan. My full name is Susan Harriet Bolotin. Most people just call me Susan. Except my parents. They call me Spinky Winkerson. It's a long story. You, uh, look cute with that… book you have there…?"

"Thanks. It's my Bible. I never leave home without it," Barry told her with a smile. "There's a verse for almost any occasion. It's really quite amazing."

"Your butt is amazing," Susan told him.

"I'm sorry?" Barry asked, not sure if he'd heard her right.

"Uh… I said… Pizza Hut is amazing. I could, uh, go for a pizza right now. Ahaha. Ahahaha."

"Okay then," Barry smiled, seeming as if he believed her.

Susan facepalmed at her own awkwardness.

The contestant to be dropped off was an Asian with chest-length brown hair. She wore horn-rimmed glasses and a dark green hipster bag hat, as well as a purple flannel button-up shirt, dark blue khaki pants, and grey sneakers.

"Alright, this won't be easy, but I can do this," the girl told herself. "Just because you have a slight drawback doesn't mean you can't win this. I mean, what could stop Kiki Koizumi from winning the… million… dollars…?"

Kiki froze as soon as she saw Barry. She quietly walked behind Susan and said nothing more.

"Hey there, I'm Barry," Barry greeted Kiki as he offered to shake her hand. He noticed Kiki breathing heavily. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," he said in a calming voice.

"Don't bother, Barry. Kiki's not going to respond to anything you say," Hatchet told him.

"I wonder why that is," Barry thought aloud.

The next car to drive up was blasting heavy metal music as a white boy stepped out. He had messy black hair as well as a chin strap beard. He also wore a black shirt with blue sleeves, dark green jeans with rips at the knees, and red sneakers.

"Yeahhhhhhh!" The boy shouted into the air as he walked up to Hatchet. "This game is gonna ROCK!"

"You better calm yourself, David. You do not wanna get on my bad side," Hatchet warned the boy, David.

"Naw, it's cool Chef man," David said. "I'm not here to mess with people or nothing. I'm just here for a good time. This is the party themed one, right?"

"That's right," Susan told him. "We're on Total Drama House Party."

"Wicked," David smiled as he joined the rest of the players. He failed to notice Hatchet looking at him funny.

"This is gonna be a loooong season," Hatchet muttered.

The next car dropped off a petite, chubby white girl with shoulder-length brown hair. She wore a bright yellow polo shirt, dark green pants, and brown sandals. She also had a piece of paper in her hand. The girl cleared her throat and began to read from the paper.

"Greetings, fellow competitors. My name is Bailey Anika Donnelly, and I am pleased to be joining you on this season of Total Drama. I hope we all have a wonderful and memorable time in this game and that we all form strong, long-lasting bonds that last through the test of time. Whether we win or we lose, remember to have fun as well. Thank you." Bailey put the paper in her pocket and joined the others.

"Hi, Bailey. My name's Barry," Barry greeted her.

"…Hello…" Bailey replied meekly.

"That was quite the speech you just gave," Barry complimented. "I agree. It doesn't matter if we win or lose. All that matters is that we have a good time."

"…Yeah…" Bailey rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

Barry looked at Susan and Kiki and shrugged.

The next contestant to arrive was a gorgeous Asian girl with neat, chin-length black hair. She wore librarian glasses on her face and a green cardigan over a light grey shirt. She also had a black skirt and light grey socks that went just past her knees, as well as black Mary Jane shoes.

As she stepped out of the car, Barry and David couldn't keep their eyes off her.

"Hey there," the girl said sweetly as she approached Barry and David. "My name's Rachel. Are you two cuties my competition?"

"Totally…" David didn't seem to be paying much attention to what she was saying as much as he was to her breasts.

"Well, I look forward to playing with you," Rachel told them with a wink. "Maybe you two can be on my team."

"That would be nice," Barry told her. "I look forward to getting to know you."

"I don't like her," Kiki said to Susan.

"I'm not sure I do either," Susan replied.

The next car dropped off a large, overweight black boy with a backwards black hat and a circle beard. He wore a dark green shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers. He was also holding a bottle of blue Mountain Dew.

The boy took a swig of Mountain Dew before joining the others.

"This is Chappy, everyone," Hatchet introduced.

"'Chappy'?" David scoffed. "What, did you leave your lip balm at home?"

Chappy grabbed David by the collar of his shirt using his hand that wasn't holding Mountain Dew.

"My name is James Chapman. If you know what's good for you, you will call me Chappy. If you don't know what's good for you, I can guarantee you will be medivacked from this game? Do you understand?"

"Whatever, man! Just put me down!" David struggled to get down.

Chappy threw David to the ground.

"Anyone else feel like saying anything?" Chappy asked menacingly.

Nobody said anything.

"That's what I thought," Chappy said as he drank some more Mountain Dew.

Another car came with the next contestant. This one was a white boy with messy, medium-length blond hair. He wore a red, long-sleeved shirt with a yellow eight-pointed star on the chest, dark green jeans, and red shoes.

Also, the boy jumped out of the car as it was still moving. He tumbled along the pavement, hurting himself badly in the process.

"Oh my gosh!" Rachel gasped.

"He could be seriously hurt!" Barry added.

"…Oh no…" Bailey frowned.

"Heeheehahaha!" the boy cackled as he got up. "That was great! Did you see me back there?! I got jacked! Heeheehahaha!"

"Wait, so you enjoyed that?" Susan asked curiously.

"Heck yeah! Pain is sweet, ya know? I'm Mac by the way," Mac introduced. "If you ever want to trade blows, you know where to find me! Heeheehahaha!"

"Heh. I like you," David said. "This guy's funny."

The next car to arrive dropped off a white young man with spiky ginger hair and rectangular glasses. He also wore a yellow t-shirt, baggy red capri pants, and black socks with his brown sandals. He also looked to be shuffling a deck of cards.

"Welcome to the game, Nolan," Hatchet greeted.

"Likewise," Nolan said. He then took a die from his pocket and rolled it across the ground. "Alright, I rolled a five, so I'll give it to them straight." He looked at the others. "My name is Nolan. Every choice I make in this game will be determined by the roll of a die. This could be a blessing or a curse. Time will tell."

"Okay, I don't want to be rude, but this kid needs some lessons in how to dress," Kiki said to Rachel. "Look at him."

"I don't know. He looks pretty cute with that hair," Rachel purred.

Nolan rolled his die across the ground again and it ended up at Kiki's feet. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he looked at his die.

"Nevermind," Nolan said. "I rolled a three. I will not be allying with you in this game."

The next contestant to join the game was a young man of Native American descent. He had short black hair, a dark blue long-sleeved shirt, dark green jeans, and dark blue shoes. What really stood out, though, was his face. He had a scar on his right cheek, 5 o'clock shadow, and a patch that matched his skin tone over his left eye.

"Ah, Franklin. Glad you could join us," Hatchet told the young man, Franklin.

"Thank you, Mr. Hatchet sir," Franklin said politely as he joined the others.

"Hottie alert!" Susan squeaked.

"…Wow…" Bailey said simply as she blushed.

"Where'd you get those scars?" Chappy asked Franklin. "Were you in a war?"

Franklin smiled somewhat sadly. "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about that with you guys just yet. Give me some time."

"Is that an eye patch?" Nolan asked.

"Yes it is. I only have the one eye," Franklin told him as he gestured towards his right eye – his only eye.

"Cool. So you're like a cyclops!" Susan shouted.

Everyone turned and looked at Susan awkwardly.

"I'll shut up now…" Susan said apologetically.

The next contestant to arrive was a medium-tall white girl, though she seemed more tan than the rest of the white contestants. She had blonde hair in pigtails, and wore a red tank top, dark brown running shorts, white knee-high socks with a grey stripe near the top, white running shoes, and black fingerless gloves.

"Hey there everyone. I'm Judy." Judy waved at the other contestants as she introduced herself. "Who's ready to win this game?"

"Heh. You know it," Chappy smirked. "I'm gonna win every challenge this season. Or else."

"I like that attitude," Judy told him. "We should work together in this game. I'm kind of a sports all-star, so I could definitely help you out."

"Alright, fine. Just be prepared to hand over the million when we hit the final two," Chappy said as he took another swig of Mountain Dew.

"I'll keep that in mind," Judy chuckled.

"She seems nice enough," Mac said to Kiki, who gave no response. Mac kept looking at Kiki, waiting for her to say something. After a while Mac punched himself in the face.

"Why did you just punch yourself in the face?" Judy asked.

"Because I got bored waiting for her to reply to me," Mac beamed.

"Remind me not to let you get bored," Judy chuckled.

Another car dropped someone off at the curb. This someone was a white young man with short blonde hair that was covered in a black-and-white striped beanie. He also had a soul patch as well as an orange unzipped hoodie over a black shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers.

"Everybody, this here's Ernie," Hatchet introduced.

"Yeah, if it's all the same, can I, like, take a nap right now?" Ernie asked. "I'll just, ya know, sit over there, shut my eyes, and doze off. Cool, thanks." Before anyone could say anything, Ernie sat down next to David and fell asleep.

"How can he sleep at a time like this?" Barry asked no one in particular.

"Maybe he couldn't sleep last night," Franklin suggested. "I know I spent most of last night excited for a chance to join this game and win the money."

"You make a good point," Barry agreed.

The next car to arrive dropped off a white girl with messy, chin-length auburn hair and freckles on her face. She wore a sky blue long-sleeved shirt, a dark blue skirt over black tights, and red Converse.

"Bye, sis! I still hate you!" the girl called in a deadpan tone. "Gah. Why did she have to audition me?"

Nolan rolled his die once again.

"Alright. Six," Nolan stated. "You and I are going to be allies throughout the game."

"…Well that's unfortunate considering I'll be the first one gone," the girl said dryly. "Take a note, Hatchet. CJ O'Leary is the first boot of Total Drama whatever this one's called."

"What makes you say that?" Susan asked.

"Well I don't really want to be here. My older sister sent in an audition for me," CJ explained. "What's more than likely going to happen is that I'll hold my team back by not doing anything, and they'll vote me off because of it. That's how this thing works, right? I really don't care about this show."

"That's not how it'll work. I can't lose my only ally thus far," Nolan said.

"Well then you should have picked an ally who gives a-"

CJ was cut off by the next car to arrive, which had its windows rolled down and very loud EDM blasting out of the speakers. A black girl stepped out and pumped her fist to the beat of the music. She had fuchsia hair pulled back in a ponytail and cyclops goggles. She also wore a dark grey tube top, a blue skirt with grey at the bottom, blue fuzzy boots, and a number of different colored glowstick bracelets.

"Yeaaaaaaah! Hel-LO Total Drama House Par-TAY!" the girl shouted.

"Well. She sure knows how to make an entrance," CJ remarked.

"You're damn right I do! WooooOOOOO!" the girl cheered.

"What's your name?" Judy asked.

"I have many names. Some know me as The Raver. Lots know me as DJ Fuchsia. Most know me as Jilly," Jilly explained.

Ernie walked up to Jilly. "Uh, I don't suppose you're the one responsible for waking me up?"

"How could you sleep at a time like this, dude?" Jilly asked. "We're about to have a party, man! You can't sleep through a party!"

"I was doing so just fine until, ya know, you came along," Ernie glared at her. "I'll be sure to remember this if we're, uh, on the same team."

"I will too. I'm gonna pump. You .UP!" Jilly shouted as she wrapped one arm around Ernie's neck and punched the air with the other.

"That sounded dirty," David chuckled.

The next contestant to arrive was a white girl, but she was more white than normal. In fact, she was albino, with short white hair and red eyes. She also wore a white hoodie with the hood pulled up over her head, black sweatpants, and black shoes.

"Our next contestant is Erica," Hatchet said.

"Hey there," Barry greeted Erica. "I'm Barry. How are you?"

"Oh don't act like that. I know you don't give a crap, so don't patronize me with your fake sympathy," Erica said disdainfully.

"I really wasn't faking it, but if you don't want to talk, that's fine I guess," Barry said.

"Don't lie to me. I know none of you want to be associated with a freak like me, so don't pretend that you do. It'll only put you on my bad side," Erica told the others as she walked to the back of the group.

"Well, at least she's honest," Chappy said before letting out a belch.

The next contestant to show up was a short boy who appeared to be of Jewish descent. He had short, curly, brown hair and wore a peach-colored T-shirt, brown shorts, brown shoes, and white ankle socks.

"This here is Tucker," Hatchet told the others.

"Hey there. It's great to be here," Tucker said. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Hatchet." Tucker held his hand out for a shake.

"Well ain't you a nice ki-"

BZZZZZZZZAP!

Hatchet was cut off by an electric shock coursing through him as he shook hands with Tucker.

"Heh. Joy buzzer. One of Tucker's personal favorites," Tucker snickered.

"Hey! You little punk!" Hatchet shouted.

Tucker strolled up to Rachel. "Hey there. Just so you know, Tucker doesn't pull pranks on hot girls, so you're safe from me." Tucker informed her.

"That's fascinating, Tucker," Rachel told him sweetly. "And I think it's adorable how you pull pranks on people." Rachel giggled.

"Tucker's going to enjoy playing the game with you," Tucker smirked.

Another car pulled up to the curb. This one dropped off a white young lady with waist-length blonde hair. She also wore a pink shirt that seemed a few sizes too small, as well as short shorts and sandals.

"Hello, everybody!" The girl called. "I'm Lauren, and I'm ready to get my mack on!"

"You rang?" Mac asked as he appeared next to Lauren.

"Ah, you'll do," Lauren said as she pulled Mac in for a kiss. Mac seemed very surprised by what happened, but didn't seem to be complaining.

"…Ew…" Bailey winced.

"Ugh. Disgusting," Erica scoffed.

"Wow. That was pretty good," Lauren said as she let go of Mac, causing him to fall facefirst into the pavement. "Anyone else?"

"Tucker here. Ready and willing," Tucker introduced as he approached Lauren, only to trip over Mac.

"Heh. Sorry, shortstuff. I'm thinking more along the lines of a girl this time," Lauren said.

"Wait, what?" Barry asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm bi. Like, super bi. Like, I don't care who you are, I'll make out with you bi," Lauren said flirtatiously.

"…I don't exactly condone this," Barry winced.

"Don't act like you're not interested," Lauren smirked.

"Why does everyone think this is an act?" Barry asked no one in particular.

The next contestant to arrive was an Asian boy with black hair that was spiked up in the front. He wore a brown hoodie jacket that was partially zipped up and showed a light green shirt underneath, as well as jean shorts and sandals.

The boy said nothing as he scanned the others with his eyes. It seemed as if he was scrutinizing every single detail he could.

"You see, Jilly. He's not partying," Ernie told Jilly.

"Well then he's DOING it wrong!" Jilly shouted as she excitedly hopped up to the new boy. "WhadDUP! I'm DJ Fuchsia! Also known as Jilly."

"I see," the boy said. "Well, I'm sure you'll all be happy to know that I know about each and every one of you, so if you're ever in need of some information, just look for Preston."

"Wait, what?" Susan asked.

"How can you possibly know about us? You just met us," Franklin pointed out.

"True, but I'm also very observant. I can tell a lot about a person just by analyzing their appearance, body language, mannerisms, and so forth. Rest assured, there will be no secrets kept from you in this game," Preston explained.

"He seems like an interesting character," Nolan said to CJ.

"Good. Then why don't you put him on your team instead of me?" CJ asked sardonically.

"The dice have spoken," Nolan told her.

"Well the dice are assholes," CJ responded.

The next car to pull up to the curb was interesting as it looked to be the size of a cardboard box. The doors opened, and out stepped a girl of Indian descent with white face paint and a red clown nose on her face. Her hair was bright green and she wore a comically small bowler hat upon her head. She also wore a yellow long-sleeved shirt with suspenders that attached to her pink tutu skirt. On her feet were thigh-high white socks covered in multicolored polka dots, as well as red clown shoes.

"Spankety spankety spankety!" the girl announced. "Howdy everyone! I'm Spankety the Clown! But you can call me Spankety for short! Heehee. I hope this ends up being the best time of our lives!"

"Yeah! This chick knows what's up!" Jilly pointed at Spankety with both index fingers.

"Can you guys shut up please?" Erica grumbled.

"Awww, is someone having a bad day?" Spankety asked with genuine concern as she skipped over to Erica. "A handsome boy like you has no reason to frown! Come on, I'll make you smile!"

"I'm a girl," Erica said as she gave Spankety a death glare.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry! You're a very pretty girl! Honest!" Spankety apologized.

"If you want to make me smile, why don't you never speak to me again?" Erica asked harshly.

"Aw, but I don't want to see a friend of mine frowning!" Spankety insisted.

"I will never be your friend. Now, unless you want me to take that nose off and shove it up your ass, you'll leave me alone. Got it?!" Erica threatened.

Spankety had no words to say. She looked devastated as she walked over next to Kiki and Judy.

The twentieth and final car drove up and dropped off the last contestant. This one was a black boy with a buzzcut and round glasses. He wore a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and plain brown shoes.

"Hey, everyone. I'm Ziggy," Ziggy introduced himself.

"Pleasure to meet you, Ziggy," Judy greeted.

"Likewise. I can't wait to get this game started."

"Yeah, this dude's right. Can we get started already?" David asked Hatchet.

"Well, Ziggy here is the last contestant to arrive, so I guess we might as well get this thing started," Hatchet sighed. This information was met by many cheers as well as a few groans.

Hatchet took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button on it. The gates slowly opened backwards, allowing the host and the twenty contestants entry into the gardens and, eventually, the mansion itself.

The twenty-one of them walked across the yellow brick path between the gate and the mansion. The contestants all looked around at their surroundings.

"Whoah. This is pretty badass," David smiled. "Ya know, for something that doesn't have things on fire and dead people everywhere."

"Not yet, you mean," Mac chuckled.

"Awwww yeah." David gave Mac a fist bump.

Kiki simply made a face at them as she walked ahead of them.

Everyone was now at the door to the mansion. Hatchet held the key in front of the contestants.

"Welcome… to your new summer home," Hatchet said as he unlocked the door.

The interior of the mansion was nothing short of spectacular. The walls were mahogany and adorned with paintings, most of which were of Chris. The floor was covered in white tiles with a fancy blue design on them. The foyer was furnished with couches on either end as well as coffee tables in front of the couches. Directly in front of the contestants were a set of stairs that led to the second floor, and next to the stairs were hallways, two on either side, that presumably led to many other rooms. A golden chandelier hung from the ceiling, illuminating the entire room.

"…Wow!" Bailey smiled.

"This place is amazing!" Judy said excitedly.

"Yeah. It's actually almost a shame I'll be going soon," CJ added in a mix of deadpan and awe.

"Alright, kids, listen up!" Hatchet got everyone's attention.

"Okay, hold up!" Jilly interrupted. "You said this was gonna be party!"

"I TOLD YOU TO LISTEN UP!" Hatchet shouted. "Anyway… this is the MacLean Mansion. Right now we're in the foyer. This is the main hub of the house, and it's also where we'll be holding our elimination ceremonies. The team that gets last place in the challenge will be here at 9 o'clock sharp to vote out one of their own."

"Hey, when are we getting into teams anyway?" Tucker asked.

"I AM GETTIN' TO THAT!" Hatchet roared as he approached a door directly to the right of the staircase. "Anyway… this is the confessional booth. If you have something ya need to say, go ahead and say it."

Confessional:

Kiki: So far things are going alright I suppose. There are a lot of boys here, which could be problematic, but I think I can work around that.

David: Wow, this is pretty legit. This season is gonna rock!

CJ: I figured I might as well make one of these while I'm here. Take a picture. It'll last longer.

Hatchet and the 20 teens were now in a large room that was decorated very similarly to the foyer, with the noticeable difference that there were three long tables in the middle of the room.

"This is the dining room," Hatchet said. "Y'all will report here at 7am, 12pm, and 5pm to eat three meals a day."

"Hey, if you're the host this season, then who's the chef?" Nolan asked.

"That'd be me." A black girl who looked to be about 17 years old stepped out of a door that was labeled 'Employees Only'. She had black hair that was pulled back in a bun and she wore a chef's hat as well as an apron over a pink T-shirt, khaki pants, and sandals.

"This here is my niece, Yolonda," Hatchet said. "She wants to be a culinary master when she grows up, just like her uncle. Ain't that sweet?"

"Cool. Which uncle?" Spankety asked sincerely.

Hatchet pointed at his eyes and then at Spankety, indicating that he was watching her threateningly.

"Oh, and by the way, if any of you boys are interested in having some one-on-one with your girl Yolonda, I'm perfectly okay with that," Yolonda added.

"Sounds riveting," Ernie said dryly.

"Ugh, so many flirts this season. It's disgusting," Erica groaned.

"Alright, kids, move along," Hatchet told the teenagers as he went for the exit. The teenagers, including Yolonda, all followed him. "Not you!" Hatchet told her. "You stay back and get lunch ready!"

Yolonda grumbled to herself as she returned to the kitchen.

Confessional:

Franklin: I'm not exactly used to fine dining, but I'm sure whatever Yolonda has to serve will be fine.

Lauren: Yolonda sure is a hottie with a body. At least I think she has a body. It's hard to tell behind that apron. She's got a cute face, though, and that's good enough for me.

Yolonda: For the record, I do not swing that way. I'm all about the boys, and let me tell you, we got some cute ones.

Hatchet and the contestants were now in a hallway with red wallpaper and ornate carpets. There were four doors on either side of the hall and lights in between each door. At the end of the hall was a set of double doors.

"Wow. What are all these doors?" Ziggy asked.

"This is where the first place team will stay," Hatchet said. "Each member of the first place team will get their own room with a queen-sized bed, a mini-fridge, and room service. In addition, contestants who stay in these rooms can access any part of the house at any time, and will have their food prepared by Yolonda."

"What about these double doors?" David asked.

"That's my room. Y'all better not be botherin' me on my off-time, or there will be consequences. Ya got that?" Hatchet warned.

"Don't worry about it," Lauren said as she glanced at Tucker inching closer to her.

Confessional:

Tucker: Lauren's hot. Tucker thinks he's gonna try and score with her. Hopefully we'll end up on the same team.

Judy: It'll be nice to relax in our own fancy room after working hard to win a challenge. First place is definitely something to shoot for this season.

Bailey: (she is reading from a paper) As I am an individual who appreciates alone time, I find the fact that the winners will receive their own private rooms to be most fortuitous. I have high hopes that mine is a team which can excel in every possible type of challenge so that I can have my alone time frequently. That is not to say that I dislike the others, I am simply an introvert and as such I do not appreciate being in the company of others during every waking hour.

Now the host and contestants were in what appeared to be a basement. It was dark save for the two electric lights hanging from the ceiling, and the only things that could be found down there were piles of cardboard boxes and four twin-sized beds.

"This is the basement," Hatchet told them. "Can anyone guess why I brought y'all here?"

"Because this is where the last place team sleeps?" Susan guessed.

"Heh. NOPE!" Hatchet laughed. "Actually, this is where the second place team will be sleepin'."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Mac asked.

"Actually, if I may make a guess, this season will have three teams," Rachel said.

"Correct!" Hatchet announced. "Spoiler alert: there will be three teams this season. This is where the second place team will sleep. Since there are only four beds, y'all will more than likely have to share your bed with one of your teammates."

"We'll be sleeping with people of the same gender, right?" Barry asked. "We don't want to encourage any needless promiscuity."

"Aw, lighten up, bro!" Jilly gave Barry a playful noogie. "This is a party, remember. It's time to let loose and take a walk on the wild side, man! You feel me?"

"My skull feels you very well right now," Barry told her painfully.

"Also, besides the basement, the second place team will only be able to access rooms on the first floor. Plus, instead of having your meals prepared by Yolonda, y'all will get frozen TV dinners to eat."

"Sounds about standard for me," Franklin joked.

Confessional:

Chappy: Eh, whatever. I spend most of my time in the basement playing CoD anyway. But losing is NOT an option, so I won't be spending any time in this basement.

Barry: Jilly might be right about this being a party, and I do intend to have fun, but I don't want to do anything I might regret.

Rachel: I may flirt with the guys occasionally, but honestly it's all part of my strategy. If I can form secret alliances with boys who will stay loyal to me, I could end up controlling the game. I'm a lot smarter than I may seem; not that they need to know that.

We now follow everyone to the backyard. For such a large house, the backyard was surprisingly small, with a patio, a swimming pool, and a swingset in the grass. The furniture on the patio consisted only of three chairs and a table.

"This here's the backyard," Hatchet told the contestants. "No prizes for guessing while we're here."

"Why are we here?" Spankety asked Nolan.

Nolan rolled his die. "I'm not telling you," he told Spankety simply.

"This is where the last-place team will sleep, dingus," Ernie said.

"Aw, does someone need a hug?" Spankety asked Ernie.

"That is literally the last thing I want right now," Ernie said dryly. Spankety hugged him anyway.

"There. All better?" Spankety asked.

"If I say 'yes', will you leave me alone?" Ernie rubbed his temples.

Spankety frowned.

"Well, now that that's over, Ernie is correct. This is where the last place team will sleep. After the elimination ceremony, the last place team will report here and cannot leave until breakfasttime."

"What?! What about dinner?" Erica asked.

"Y'all won't get dinner. Such is the price for failure. Breakfast, by the way, is white bread and tap water."

"That's stupid!" Erica snapped.

"It sure is. So try not to lose," Hatchet chuckled.

Confessional:

Erica: Who does Hatchet think he is? I know I'm a freak of nature, but that doesn't mean you get to starve me. Guh!

Ernie: Both Jilly and Spankety annoy me a great deal. Part of me hopes I don't end up on the same team as either of them, but another part of me hopes I do so I can be responsible for their eliminations.

Spankety: I've made it my personal mission to turn as many frowns upside down as I possibly can! That's why I became a clown. Everyone loves clowns!

Hatchet and the contestants were now back in the foyer.

"How come we're back in the foyer?" Tucker asked.

"Because, short one, it's time for your first challenge!" Hatchet announced.

"Sweet!" Mac cheered.

"Here's how it's gonna work," Hatchet began. "I had Yolonda hide twenty-one unmarked cans of soda all over the house. Once all twenty of the sodas have been found and everyone returns to the foyer, we drink. The flavor you get will determine what team you're on. Any questions?"

"Yes, will there be an elimination tonight?" Preston asked.

"There will not. I decided to give y'all a break. However, the perks and penalties of each placing are still in effect, so whichever team is the first to have all its members arrive at the foyer will be in first, and so on."

"Why twenty-one sodas? There are only twenty of us," Ziggy pointed out.

"There are seven of each color. However, since twenty is not divisible by three, we will have two teams of seven and one team of six. The team that has six will automatically get last place, so y'all better pray you're not that unlucky."

"What will happen to the one soda that we don't find?" Susan asked.

"Ah, excellent question," Hatchet smiled. "If you find the last soda, you may use it to protect yourself from elimination once. I'll explain more once we actually get to eliminating someone. Any more questions?"

Nobody said anything.

"Alright then. MOVE IT, MAGGOTS! MOVE!"

The twenty houseguests all scattered in search of sodas. Hatchet faced the camera.

"Who will end up teaming up with whom? Will Rachel's plan work? Will Spankety get her teammates to smile? How did Franklin get his scars? Who will be the first one to leave the game? You're not gonna find out after the commercial break, but STAY STILL ANYWAY! I DON'T WANT Y'ALL LEAVIN' ON ME NOW!"

So that was Part 1 of Episode 1. I'll try and get Part 2 out as soon as I can, but with school and stuff that might not be till next week. Which characters do you think you'll like? Which characters do you think you'll dislike? Who do you think will win? Who do you think will be the first to go? Be sure to tell me in a review.