Elliot had left the squad room for the last time, and he knew it. It was the most painful thing he had ever done and would ever have to do. He would never go back. Eleven days later he put his papers in and resigned. It was official. His body had gone numb because of the thoughts that ran through his head daily. He had shot Jenna. It was not only that, but he had shot her because she had turned the gun on Olivia. Elliot's hands shook as he parked the car in front of the bar. He entered, thinking about what might have happened. If he would have frozen, it would have been his woman's cold body in his arms. He had grown too close to her. He loved her and the only thing he could do to prevent her death was to leave her. He sat down and ordered a beer. He had 6 beers that night. Trying to forget was more difficult than he had anticipated.
Olivia had received the news of Elliot's departure eleven days after the shooting. She was devastated. Cragen's words hit her like a brick wall, "He's not coming back, Liv." Her stomach wrenched and she had felt nauseas, as if she could throw up. Tears stabbed her deep chocolate eyes as he told her he was sorry. Why would he leave her like this? She knew what had happened at the shooting. She knew how her partner of 13 years thought. He had saved her life and was afraid they were too close. Liv had told Cragen she didn't want to talk about it and that she was fine. She bit her tongue to keep from sobbing hysterically in front of her Captain and her fists curled, stabbing her nails into her tender palm. The moment after she got out, she was on a case; Again. With only a minute to spare, Olivia headed to the place she had spent so much time with Elliot and broke down. Her sobs wracked her body as the tears streamed in relentless rivers down her porcelain cheeks.
No matter how much he drank, he couldn't get her out of his mind. He had spent days, weeks, drinking and trying to remain numb. His alcohol failed him and soon Elliot was at the end of his rope. She was the first thing he saw when he woke up, the first thing he saw before he went to bed, the last thing he remembered in his dreams. Her beautiful face was all he ever saw on that wonderful night when they had no worries whatsoever. But it was so long ago when they had been happy. He drank more and more as the days progressed. He even went to such lengths as to visit the precinct he remembered so vaguely. Elliot sat in his vehicle and watched the detectives arrive until 8:30. She was the last one he saw show up. She walked as if in slow motion over the sidewalk. He smiled as he saw her. She wore her dress pants and suit jacket over a deep red shirt and her hair was pulled back loosely into a clip. Her curls fell over her shoulders now and a sigh traveled through his body as reality struck him. He would never see her again.
She went to work every day that followed Elliot's departure feeling numb and absolutely emotionless. Her team noticed how much she was affected by this and reached out to help her in any way possible. A month had passed since these feelings had begun, but Olivia felt as if she could expect him to come in the door at any time. Day after day she stared blankly at his desk, hoping with all her might that she was stuck in the midst of a bad dream. The darkness was closing in as she struggled to pinch herself awake. Reality was so far away that she lost track of what was real and what was not.
His hand shook as he reached for his glass of whiskey that stood idle on his night stand. He finished the amount in one large swig and picked up her picture one last time. He didn't realize that he'd begun to cry until he found that drops of salty solution were falling, one by one, onto the precious photo. As he wiped his nose, he set the picture delicately on the night stand once again and opened its drawer. The object he searched for was soon in his hand and he pulled it out, setting it beside him. His handwriting was almost unrecognizable as he scribbled a 6 word phrase on the wrinkled piece of paper. When he finished, Elliot held the paper in his hands and picked up the heavy object he had laid next to him. Her face was the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes and let his final tears fall. He raised the gun to his head and pulled the trigger that put an end to everything.
The call came that morning at 2:00 am. The Captain had discovered him and had taken the journey across the city to appear at her front door. He handed her the 6 word note, a tiny amount of blood in splatters. After she had read it, he told her. Olivia covered her mouth and fell into her Captain suddenly lacking oxygen. Her eyes leaked more than she thought she had in her as she clung to her Captain and the note fell to the ground still reading, "I'll love her 'till I die."
The day of the funeral, he was buried beneath a giant tree. The willow even seemed to be weeping his death. She was devastated once again. She had been running vigorously since, as if to give her a sense of running away from her problems. It was her fault he had taken his own precious life. She turned to the bottle and found it made her a little less pained, but it didn't take away the memories or the pictures she had going through her mind day and night. Months passed. She took a leave of absence from work, but her colleagues found time to bring her flowers and check up on her. Olivia knew she should appreciate it, but her body was constantly under stress as well as her fragile mind, making it nearly impossible to recover from the tragedy. Her life was crumbling around her and she knew that if she couldn't fix it, she'd have to tear it all down.
Months passed and she continued to hide her whiskey breath. One night in July, the time came for her to make her decision. Her heart was broken, her body ravaged by the intense exercising and drinking. She got home from the bar and staggered from room to room trying to find the picture she wanted so much. When the photo was in her hands, Olivia held the wall as she made her way to her bedroom. She looked at his face one last time before letting her tears fall one after another. Her precious life flickered out when she pulled the trigger, lighting up the room for but a second. Her body fell lifeless to the pillows below as the gun fell from her hand.
She was found at 12:00 that night, her face planted in the feather pillow, blood covering the brown walls of the room. Her captain gravely took the photo from her hands and shook his head as he finally let his emotions show. His tears rolled down his cheeks in a flood as he laid his eyes upon his detective whose voice he'd never hear again, whose smile he'd never see. She was turned over by the coroner and the team looked on in horror as they found her cheeks still wet from the tears. Her eyes stared into nothingness as if wide open in a silent scream. Fin reached over and, after taking a look at the one he had considered his sister for so many years, gently closed her eyes.
Two days later, Olivia was laid to rest next to where Elliot lay. Everyone stood in black as she was lowered into the ground, no place fit for two people so brave and humble. The officers saluted the clay grave and retreated, allowing the bystanders to observe as the grave was covered. Moments later, only the dirt and coffins remained, alone. The willow stood above them, swaying majestically in the breeze. It forever represents the temporary problem fixed by a permanent solution. No one on earth would ever see the souls in the two graves. They were together in another world. The two markers are seen, each a similar cross with names and dates on them. The same saying remains etched in the granite forever. It resounds in those who cross the graves of these two and wonder what their sories are- or were. It strikes deep in the ones who laid them to rest. "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."