"I'll be back before midnight. Okay, bye!"
"Chotto matte, you get back here right thi…!"
Before Eri could finish, Kogoro had shut the door behind him.
He breathed in the night air, which on this night was tainted only slightly by the aerosol pollutants associated with big cities such as Tokyo. The crisp, clear air felt nice, especially after spending 4 hours straight indoors.
He hadn't stepped outside just to get a breath of fresh air, however. He had urgent business to attend to, business which wouldn't tolerate delay.
Of course, he didn't tell Eri where he was really going. She couldn't ever know. No one could ever know; he didn't know anyone that he could trust with his secret. His secret double life…
Whenever Ran was still alive, he never told her either. He was always reluctant to tell Ran whenever he was going out to drink, but the magnitude of his secret was as such that whenever he had to go out and attend to these secret matters of his, he would tell her that he was headed for the bar. He always thought of it as a white lie; if she knew the truth, would she have thought of him any differently? He didn't want to find out.
He took a step away from the Mouri Residence, and then another. He glanced back to make sure that nobody was following him. Nobody was. So he continued on his way, resolving to occasionally look back so as to prevent being followed without his notice.
As soon as the Mouri Residence was out of sight, he slipped his hand into his coat and pulled out a ski mask, AKA balaclava. He hoped not to run into any police officers on the way there, for they would surely take such a suspicious looking guy in for questioning, and they would doubtlessly ask too many questions. What a pain that would be, and it would interfere with him doing that thing which he needed to do tonight. And if they alerted Eri that her husband had been taken in for questioning, his secret would be in jeopardy.
He reached into a pocket of his coat and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He lit it and put it to his lips. He sucked in and then puffed out. Had the night been much colder, the cigarette smoke might've been mistaken for his breath. But it mattered not; nobody had seen him yet.
He passed by a dark alleyway. This would be the perfect place for an ambush, he thought. Perhaps I should've brought a weapon?
Fortunately, he made it unaccosted to his destination. He had been here almost a hundred times, but in the past he had failed to recognise what an ideal building this was for the secret activities conducted inside; the windows were tinted so what was happening inside could not be made out easily, but a person inside the building could easily see outside.
He sighed, turned the door handle, pushed the door open, and stepped inside…
Scene Transition
"Are you sure this is the place?" Nancy asked.
"It's where the tracker leads," Conan said, wearing the tracking glasses. "I don't think the old man would know that he was bugged; I put it on the bottom of his shoe about half a minute before he left, and he wouldn't suspect that a kid bugged him. I think this really is the place."
They stared at the building; the windows were tinted, but light was emanating from behind the glass so clearly there were people inside.
"Will we take the front?" Nancy asked.
"No, it's too risky," Conan said. "Let's find a side entrance."
They found one, managed to force the heavy door open, went inside, ran to a corner, snuck a peek around, and…
What they saw blew their minds.
Opening:
(Jump by Mai Kuraki)
(In my time as a detective I've learned that tingling feelings are subconscious observations! Kogoro's suspicious behaviour…where is he sneaking off to at night? He perceives the one and only truth! With the body of a child but the mind of an adult, his name is…Detective Conan!)
Sometimes I think the beat is just too fast for me
Other times the beat is way too slow
The clothes passed down to me are a size too small
How can anyone walk in these shoes?
The thermostat is kept a notch too low
My awkward shadow bumps into everything
The silence in my daily life is deafening
And other times the music's way too loud
There is a world for me over the canyon
A world that's just my size, just my tempo
Don't look back, don't look down
Just close your eyes and take a leap into the dark
You got to jump, you got to jump
Like you're reaching for precious oxygen
You got to jump, you got to jump
Like you're aiming for the shining stars
You got to jump, you got to jump
Don't even fall back to get a running start
When your feet hit ground that's its own reward
But you will never know until you jump
The Tokyo Gentlemen's Club! Part One!
"Huuuh?!" Conan exclaimed, no longer caring about staying hidden.
There were dozens of grown men clad only in a towel wrapped around their waists. Some were relaxing in a hot tub, others were entering or leaving rooms marked "Sauna". Others were lying down on their stomachs on raised boards or on the ground, men in light blue uniforms giving them massages. There were four tanning beds in one corner. There was also a karaoke room, where they could make out somebody butchering a certain internationally recognised hit single from the 1990s by Yoko Takahashi. There were several men in one area stretching and doing yoga. A few were even receiving manicures and pedicures.
This was a spa, except all of the customers were male. Furthermore, most of the customers were wearing a mask of some kind, if only just a flu mask and sunglasses. Many of the customers who weren't wearing regular or makeshift masks were wearing those white face masks with cucumbers over their eyes.
"Grown men," Nancy said with a deadpan look on her face. "Am I hallucinating?"
"Nope," Conan said, that exact same look on his face.
Suddenly they found themselves being lifted by the back of their shirts. It was some burly guy in a suit.
"Hey, I've caught some kids snoopin' around here!" he said.
Everyone there immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to look. Could their faces be made out, they would've all looked mortified.
Another man approached the two kids. He was…
"J-jirokichi-san!" Conan said, flabbergasted.
Indeed; it was Sonoko's uncle Jirokichi. He was fully dressed and he wasn't wearing any kind of mask, which implied that he wasn't a customer. Rather, he was the owner of this establishment.
"The boy I recognise, but who's the girl?" Jirokichi asked.
"Ah, this is Nancy," Conan said in a childish voice. "Uncle Jirokichi, can you please put us down?"
Jirokichi chuckled. "Alright, Minoru, you can put them down. Methinks Conan here can be trusted. If you two will please follow me to the back."
Scene Transition
"Huuuh?" Nancy said. "This place has been open for fifteen years?!"
"Fourteen years and 351 days," Jirokichi said proudly, sitting down at his desk. "Two weeks and it'll have been fifteen years. And it hasn't been discovered yet!"
"Discovered by women, you mean?" Conan said with a sarcastic tone.
"Indeed, meboy," Jirokichi said. "This place is a safe haven for men, a place where they can enjoy 'unmanly' activities without being judged for it. Nancy here is the first girl to ever discover this place's existence. Speaking of which, Nancy, you aren't gonna tell on ole' Jirokichi and his honest business, are ya?"
"So, uh, where's oto-sa…er, I mean…?" Nancy stammered.
"Where's uncle Kogoro?" Conan asked, covering for Nancy's slip-up. "He was the one who we followed here."
"What's that, meboy? Sleeping Kogoro comes here?" Jirokichi asked. "I honestly don't know who my customers are. They all wear masks, see!" He started laughing as if he had just cracked the funniest joke on planet Earth.
"Sir, a customer demands to speak with you!" an employee said.
Jirokichi sighed. "Let the bloke come in."
Kogoro entered. "YOU TWO! What are you doing here?!"
"Aunt Eri wanted to know where you were going," Conan said with a nervous chuckle.
"Hey, you can't tell Eri or anyone else about this!" Kogoro said. "I'll be a laughingstock if you do!"
"It's alright, Mouri," Jirokichi said. "I already talked to the boy. He won't be telling a soul, will ya lad?"
Conan shook his head. "No sir, I sure won't."
Kogoro looked at Conan with distrust. "And what about Nancy?"
"She won't tell anyone either," Conan said. "Isn't that right, Nancy?"
Suddenly they heard some commotion outside the office. They rushed outside and saw a crowd gathered.
A security guard was confronting a man who had just entered.
"Sir, I will not ask you again!" the guard said. "You are barred from these premises, so leave now!"
"I demand to speak to the manager!" the man said.
Jirokichi pushed his way through the crowd. "I'm the manager. What do you want, son?"
"You will let me back in!" Heiichiro Morimoto, age 27, said. "If you don't, I'll tell everyone I know about this little club of yours!"
"You will do no such thing!" Jirokichi barked.
"And if I do, what'll you do about it, huh pops?" Heiichiro asked with a sinister grin.
Jirokichi sighed, knowing that he didn't have a lot of good options here. "Fine. I'll give you one more chance. Cause any more trouble and I really will ban you for life."
Heiichiro smirked. "You know me, pops. I'm a perfect angel."
He strutted over to the front desk and made a cash payment for use of the hot tub and a massage.
Scene Transition
"Anyways, you two need to head on home," Kogoro, who no longer felt the need to wear a mask, said.
"But uncle Kogoro, it's too dark for us to walk home by ourselves," Conan whined. "We're just kids."
Kogoro looked out the window and saw that Conan was right. He sighed. "Fine, you're just going to have to stay here until I'm finished. And stay out of everyone's way. Don't try to use the hot tub or the steam bath or ask for massage."
"Mouri-san, do you want me to finish that massage, or are you done?"
Kogoro turned around. Standing there was an employee, a man with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He had a short buzz cut and a clean-shaven face. His eyelashes were a tad longer than normal, or maybe they were just more visible than with most people. He was a moderately skinny guy, and his head had a somewhat bony, skull-ish look. He was wearing a dark blue shirt with the "Tokyo Gentlemen's Club" logo on it.
The man was Yoshiteru Nichimura, age 29. Conan had met him before, during his most recent showdown with the Black Organisation. During that fateful incident he was accompanied by another, older man with black skin who went by the name Ryan Jackson.
"Hold on," Kogoro said. "How'd you know I'm your client?"
"It was simple, really," Yoshiteru said. "One man always comes here about once a month and requests that I and only I give him a massage. I came to recognise this particular client's voice. Coincidentally, I've seen this client come and go on foot, which would imply that he lives within walking distance from here. Sleeping Kogoro lives within walking distance of this establishment, and from the times I've seen him appear on Yoko Okino's shows I've come to recognise his voice. His voice, coincidentally, is the exact same as that of my once-a-month client; furthermore, my client and Sleeping Kogoro have the exact same height and build. Once I knew who you were, it was easy to find you without your mask on."
Kogoro scoffed. "What are you, some kind of detective?"
"Well, I am kind of big into mystery novels and crime shows," Yoshiteru said modestly.
Conan kept his eyes fixed on this guy. Why was a member of the CIA working at a place like this?
"Uncle Kogoro," Conan said. "Why do you always request this guy in particular?"
"Eh? Well, I heard a rumour that Yoshiteru here is really good at giving massages," Kogoro said. "So I tried him out myself, and BOY IS HE GOOD! Your hands must've been blessed by God or something!"
"Well, I wouldn't quite go that far," Yoshiteru said with a flattered grin. "But everyone I knew growing up said I always had a knack for this sort of thing. Anyway, would you like to continue that massage?"
Kogoro nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, let's! With all due haste!"
Scene Transition
"Ooh! Yeah! Right there! That's perfect!" Kogoro said, practically purring.
"So, uh, Yoshiteru-san, where are you from?" Conan asked.
"Hey you, brat," Kogoro scolded, but in too good a mood to really get flustered. "Stop bothering strangers."
"Ah, but it turns out me and Conan here have met before," Yoshiteru said.
So he knows, Conan realised. If there's any reason for me not to trust this guy, then I'm in trouble.
"Eh?" Kogoro said. "You have…? Whatever…ahh, this feels good."
"To answer your question, Conan, I was born in Japan but my family moved to the United States when I was very little," Yoshiteru said. "I only moved back to Japan a few years ago, as part of my job for…The Company."
"Eh? Yoshiteru, you have another job?" Kogoro asked.
"Yeah," Yoshiteru said with a grin. "The Company helps keep your society and many others in order. Its successes go unheralded, while its failures are widely known."
"So you're like a cop or something?" Kogoro said, not suspecting that he was speaking to a CIA agent.
"Something like that, yeah," Yoshiteru said. "I can't really tell you the details. Anyway, Conan, I don't know if you've been able to notice but Japanese isn't my native language. English is. Well, my family was Japanese-American so some of this country's language was spoken at home, but I never picked up quite enough to communicate casually in this country until as part of my job I took some mandatory language courses. How's my Japanese?"
"Uh, it's fine," Conan said. "So if you work at The Company, what are you doing working here? It sounds like they would pay you a lot."
"Well, at The Company I work with other Americans," Yoshiteru said. "With this other job I can interact on a regular basis with the native people of Japan, and perhaps now I'll seem like less of an outsider in the country of my birth."
So what he really means is that he's holding this second job in order to blend in, Conan realised. Just as is the case with Rei Furuya, AKA Bourbon.
"By the way, have you met my friend?" Conan asked. "He's a man about your age with dark skin and white hair."
"Conan, there's no way that he met Amuro-kun," Kogoro said, annoyed.
"Actually, I have seen a person like that before," Yoshiteru said. "Not here, of course. In the mornings before work I sometimes visit Café Poirot for a cup of coffee and some sandwiches. Their sandwiches are the best in all of Tokyo, from what I've heard."
"That's strange," Kogoro said. "I've never seen you there before."
"I guess we go at different times," Yoshiteru said.
So he's saying that he has come into contact with Bourbon, Conan thought.
"Hey, the last time we met, your friend had a…bad disease," Conan said, referring to Hidemi Hondou. "How's she doing now?"
"She's made a full recovery," Yoshiteru said. "She's even returned to work full-time. Her brother visited her the other day."
"How did he take it?" Conan asked, referring to Eisuke.
"Well, it was only a 20 minute visit, but he was overjoyed to see that his sister still alive," Yoshiteru said. "Someone had apparently been spreading a rumour that she had died. He was extremely reluctant to leave whenever visiting time ended."
"So her brother, he went back?" Conan asked.
"Why of course," Yoshiteru said. "He returned to The University, and they reinstated him quickly. Once he…get his degree, he hopes to work alongside his sister."
"What's this friend of yours do for a living?" Kogoro asked.
"Oh, she's a diver," Yoshiteru said. "She dives into the deepest depths of the dark, dangerous abyss."
"Whew, I wouldn't want to do something like that," Kogoro said. "I'd hate to get the bends."
(Author's note: "the bends" is decompression sickness.)
"It's a very dangerous line of work," Yoshiteru said. "I worry about her constantly. Any day something could go terribly wrong. And I couldn't stand for something like that to happen. Truth be told…I love her to death. She used to feel the same way about me, but after her father died during a fatal dive she clammed up and refused to open up to anyone. It's truly unfortunate."
"Oh, so she comes from a family of divers?" Kogoro asked, totally oblivious.
Hidemi Hondou and Yoshiteru Nichimura were…in love? Conan realised.
"Eh, where's Nancy?" Kogoro asked.
Curious, Conan looked around and then he saw…
Crap! he thought, running towards her. "Hey, Nancy! You can't do that!"
Nancy was using her phone (Ran's old, outdated model with a sea cucumber keychain on it) to take pictures of the various men who were getting massages, relaxing in the hot tub, and getting manicures and pedicures.
Mom's gonna flip when she sees this, Nancy thought with a deadpan look.
Scene Transition
Kogoro sighed. "You can stop there, Yoshiteru-san. I need to go pee."
He got up and headed for the bathroom. As he headed for the door someone else walked out. Kogoro didn't really notice who it was.
He stepped inside the bathroom and saw…
"HEY!" Kogoro shouted, startled. "What are you doing up there?!"
It was a man, standing on the very top of the toilet. A noose was hanging around his neck, and the other end was tied to a hook on the ceiling.
Suddenly, the man fell off the top of the toilet and hung suspended in midair. He was dead before Kogoro could reach him. The victim was Heiichiro Morimoto.
"GAAAAHHH!"
Hearing Kogoro's scream, Conan and Nancy rushed towards the bathroom. The forced open the heavy bathroom door and saw Heiichiro's corpse hanging there.
"What happened?"
Another person suddenly entered the bathroom. It was…
Masumi?! Conan realised.
Scene Transition
Conan and Kogoro stepped outside of the bathroom. A crowd had gathered.
"Mouri, what happened in there?" Jirokichi demanded.
"Somebody killed himself," Kogoro said. "I've already called an ambulance, though I don't think they'll be able to revive him. Is anybody here a current or former police officer?!"
"I'm with the police! Please excuse me…!"
A fat man with a mask emerged from the back of the crowd. He took off his mask. It was…
"K-kebu-dono?!" Kogoro exclaimed, flabbergasted.
"Mouri-kun?!" Megure said.
"I didn't know that you came here!" Kogoro said.
"The feeling is mutual, believe me," Megure said.
I've never seen the inspector shirtless, Conan realised.
Indeed; and it was probably for good reason. Very good reason. They were huge, after all.
Megure had a condition called gynecomastia (AKA "man boobs"), and it's relatively common in teenage boys and middle-aged men. Puberty is one possible cause; obesity and breast cancer are others. What made Megure's case unusual was the abnormally large size of his breasts even for a man with his condition. Be rest assured that Megure did not have breast cancer; rather, it was his weight that brought on this condition, as well as low testosterone associated with aging.
At that moment Conan's brain did something unusual: it made a connection that it shouldn't have made. When he saw Megure's oversized breasts he thought of Ran's…
Snapping out of it, Conan tried desperately to think of something else, anything else. If he got a nosebleed at this moment he'd never be able to live it down.
Kogoro stared awkwardly at them. "Wow…you should probably put on a bra over that."
Why do people keep telling me that? Megure thought sullenly. Are they really that big?
Neither one of them heard the snapping of a phone camera from a short distance away.
"Anyway, I'd like to see the body," Megure said.
Scene Transition
Kogoro, Conan, Nancy, Megure, and Jirokichi stepped inside the men's restroom. Masumi stepped out of the stall where the victim hung himself.
"Something's off," she said to Conan. "If it was his intention to die, why would he do it where people could see?"
"EEEEEHHHH?!" Megure exclaimed when he saw Masumi. "What are you doing here?! This is a men's club!"
Masumi chuckled nervously. "There's a kinda long story behind that, actually. The other day I was eating breakfast at the hotel where I stay when this old man mistook me for a boy and told me about the 'Tokyo Gentlemen's Club'. I was curious so I checked it out one night. This place turned out to be really awesome, so after my first visit I ended up coming here about twice a month. Nobody minds, anyway."
That's because they don't know, Conan thought with a deadpan look.
"Have you tried Yoshiteru?" Masumi said. "He's really good at giving massages."
"I know, right?" Kogoro said excitedly.
"What's this about me?"
Yoshiteru entered the men's bathroom.
"Oh, uh, nothing," Masumi said.
"What happened here?" Yoshiteru asked. "I heard something about someone dying."
"That troublemaker from earlier hung himself in the back stall there," Jirokichi said.
"I'm not so sure about that," Masumi said. "Conan-kun, it seems that way to you too, right?"
"Uh, yeah," Conan said awkwardly. "Uh, for starters, like Masumi-neechan said, there's no reason for him to hang himself in a place with lots of other people. He could've done it at his apartment, or, if he lives with his parents, whenever he was at home by himself for several hours. In doing it here he risked other people intervening and saving his life."
"The man seemed to be a selfish jerk, so I don't imagine he would have a life insurance policy," Masumi continued. "Even if he did, his loved ones would not be able to cash in if he committed suicide. He could've found some way to make it look like an accident if that's what he wanted. If for some reason wanted to ensure that no one could not cash in on his life insurance he could simply cancel the insurance plan, or kill himself privately in what'd obviously be a suicide. In short, there is no apparent reason for him to kill himself in this way. The man is a jerk, but I don't think he'd kill himself publicly just to spite people. If he already wanted to die then it's feasible, but again this would risk people intervening. Besides, the way he did it there would be relatively few witnesses. There's better ways of doing it if his goal was for lots of people to watch him die."
"She's got a point," Megure said. "Mouri, could you recreate what happened for us?"
Scene Transition
Kogoro stood up on the very top of the toilet.
"So he was standing there like that with the noose around his neck?" Jirokichi asked.
"Uh, not quite," Kogoro said. "His feet were at the edge and his back was leaning against the wall, like this." He stood like Heiichiro did, with his head pointing downwards.
"That's odd," Yoshiteru said. "If his intent was to jump, that'd be a bad way to stand. A better way would be to stand upright near the edge. The way you're positioned now, it almost looks like the victim's feet simply slipped off the edge. But who would kill themselves like that?"
It's possible that he was already dead, Conan thought. In this case, the body was put in position by someone else. Since the body was just standing there where anybody could see it, it'd have to be the person who left the bathroom immediately prior to uncle. For this to work he'd have to be in the bathroom with the victim alone, meaning he'd have to lock the door, only unlocking it as he left. Whenever the next person entered the bathroom, the body was set to slip from the top of the toilet and hang suspended in the air by the rope around his neck, giving the appearance that the victim had just then hung himself and therefore providing his killer with an alibi. The first step in solving this case is to find out who left the bathroom immediately before uncle entered. That being said, the more immediate conclusion is that this was a suicide, so unless I can figure out the trick and provide proof, even identifying the killer will be of little use. So how did he do it?
Yoshiteru and Masumi both looked at Conan with grins on their faces, knowing that he had probably already solved half of the case.
Ending:
(Natsu no Maboroshi by Garnet Crow, a chord sheet for my version of the song below)
D# Minor B Major F# Major C# Major
(Wordless opening part to the song)
A Major E Major F# Minor C# Minor
Heya no mado no mukou ni hikouki kumo o nazotte
D Major C# Minor F# Minor G Major (E Major)
Kyou kenkashita kimi no koto bakari kangaeteta
A Major E Major F# Minor C# Minor
Sasai na koto de to madotte fuantei de muboubi na
D Major C# Minor F# Minor
Ano koro no you ni sugu ni denwashite
D Major E Major F# Minor
Warai aetara ii no ni ne
G# Major A# Major C Minor G Minor G# Major A# Major D# Major
Chika zuite kuru shifuku no toki wa
G# Major D# Major G# Major A# Major
Itami o tomonainagara ashi oto o tateru
C Minor G Minor G# Major A# Major D# Major G# Major D# Major A# Major
Kangaesugite fukami ni hamaru kimi no soba ni iru no ni
E Major B Major C# Minor E Major
Natsu no maboroshi hitomi tojimete ichiban saishou ni kimi o omoidasu yo
A Major B Major G# Minor C# Minor
Dakedo kimi to ikiteyukitai kara
A Major E Major F# Minor G# Minor A Major B Major E Major
Tomadoinagara demo ii tsunaida te o hanasanaide ne
NEXT CONAN'S HINT: Toilet Paper