Two names are selected from an ever-growing list of now one thousand characters, and the selection is...
KAEDE KAYANO
VS
IKA MUSUME
BEGIN!
(Squid Girl)
Shinryaku!
Destruction from the waves
Emissary of the sea, so you better behave
I'm here to inkvade, can't wait to sea you cave
The land belongs to me, the aquatic girl brave
Tentacular!
Conqueror of humanity
You don't look afraid, but sucker you'd better be
The oceans comprise most of the world's surface
And babysitting Humans is not its sole purpose
I stand for power, like the unrelenting storm
Had a mind to lick your mathematics since the day I was airborne
Top level inktelligence, they gave me my own show
And I ain't even squidding, mothersucker I glow
Boo!
So you're the assassin for the Squidian overlord?
Please, MIT's top graduates have been leaving me bored
But you Humans are a threat to the natural world
Go ahead, do your worst, green-haired little girl
(Kayano)
Gah! I can't stand it, I need something to throw
I hate stupid people who think they know it all
Your stupid fishy puns definitely need to go
And I'm more than a match for you; your chest's small
That's right! Assassin! Trained to be a killer
I can finally settle down once your kind is all gone
You had twenty-four episodes, but all of them were filler
And every minute of mine was tentacles all along
You want to conquer the world that I am here to save
I'll catch you off guard and make you lose your footing
Can you take a trap door that I'll turn into your grave
Or should I just blow you up in a gigantic pudding
But I shouldn't waste food and waste you and the bait
Leave perfectly good squid lying dead in the ditch
You're alone, after all, I've got assassin classmates
We'll make some ikayaki and feed you to Jelabitch
(Squid Girl)
Wait, you can't eat me! That's against the rules!
You can't eat the contestants in epic rap duels!
(Kayano)
Karma, start up the grill! We're having cephalopod!
Now, you blue-haired wimp, pray to your squid-god!
(Squid Girl)
Dam it, these are tentacles, you pitiful Humans
I'll show you who's in charge, cameras zoom in
See the pinpoint accuracy of my amazing appendages
Eight powerful attacks, and two making shrimp sandwiches
Distance! I can trash a lookout tower a kilometer away
Strength! I can pummel into submission anything any day
Precision! Split a mosquito in half from its tail to its nose
Speed! I can wrap, tangle, and entrap faster than a jet goes
I claim the authority of the water, to take domain of the land
Breaking sons of fishes into pieces at the Pacific's command
This is an all out war, and I'm a squid army of one
If a catfish had your tongue then this wouldn't be fun
Total control of my weight, among many other things
I can take you out with just a slap from one of my hat's wings
So give me all you got, you pathetic little shrimp
My fourteen strong limbs will leave your measly four limp
(Kayano)
I don't think you know what you're doing, silly squid
But I'll play along and I'll defeat you all the same
You never had to face the kinds of terrors that I did
Activate my trap and only now reveal my real name
It's Akari Yukimura! Now get it seared into your head
I've taken every piece of advice that Korosensei ever said
You can't question the kind of mental strength I require
To never even say a word with these things burning like a fire
Seeded with my own tentacles that hurt like hell
Both for me and anyone that's ever caught in my path
Mad with this power and a hidden history to tell
I've been waiting for forever so I can unleash my wrath
It's inhuman creatures that put our planet in danger
Mutations or monsters, all just freaks of nature
So now I have a squid and an octopus to destroy
This is where you die! Hold my pudding, boys