This story idea was suggested to me by I'll Cover Angel and Collins. This is based off of 12 and a Half Angry Men, a Family Guy episode. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, or Family Guy for that matter. In fact, Family Guy is inappropriate enough without any of my influences.
Bridgette and Geoff were making out on the couch in Geoff's sitting room while a show about ninjas and aliens at war with one another was on the telly; until the news suddenly came on.
"We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news!" the presenter on the telly, a middle-aged man with male-pattern-baldness in a red suit, barked. Bridgette and Geoff stopped making out and turned to face the TV screen to find out what was going on.
"Internationally famed host Chris McLean and co-host Chef Hatchet of Total Drama were arrested this afternoon in Toronto on suspicion of the killing of former Total Drama contestant Staci Mistvieh," the presenter explained. "Staci Mistvieh, aged 18, was found dead at Chris and Chef's one-bedroom apartment at 12.34pm today. She was stabbed several times in different places before she died of infection and blood loss. Eastern European reporter Pieprzony Dupku is currenty at the scene. Over to you, Pieprzony!" he added.
The news cut to the scene recorded from Toronto where the reporter, Pieprzony Dupku, was hogging the screen. In the background, Chef and Chris, both of whom were suspiciously covered in bloodstains, were being shoved by police into the police van.
"Dick," said Pieprzony, a European-looking middle-aged man with short black hair in a white suit, "I am currently standing in front of the van Chris and Chef are being shoved in to as we speak. Also, it's pissing out of the heavens right at this moment, so I'm being drenched because no one would hold up my umbrella for me. Jesus, you wouldn't believe what assholes people are these days. And I'm still waiting for my capicchino, but the person who I politely forced to get it for me is taking his time because, like everybody else, he's an asshole. All in all, this has been a very rotten afternoon and I hope that moron who is taking his time with my capicchino will join Chris and Chef in the van."
"Thanks Pieprzony," said Dick the presenter, when the news cut back to him. "In other news, the European Union has put Greece on Ebay. Canada is interested in auctioning..." Geoff turned off the telly and looked at Bridgette.
"Whoa, I can't believe Chris and Chef would do such a thing," said Geoff.
"I would," Bridgette replied. "This is the type of thing Chris and Chef would do without hesitation. In fact, considering that the victim was Staci, I'm not surprised that anyone has killed her."
"Good point," said Geoff. "After all, there's a chance Chris and Chef were framed for Staci's murder. Most of us find her to be annoying."
"We'll find out more about Staci's murder after the trial," Bridgette assured Geoff. After she said that, the house phone rang. Geoff picked it up from the coffee table in front of him and answered the call.
"Hello?" Geoff asked. "Oh... Sure. No problem... Uh-huh... Okay... We'll be there. Bridgette is with me. I'll just tell her the news... Will do, man. See you next Tuesday." Geoff pushed end and placed the phone back on the coffee table. He turned to Bridgette and said: "That was the prosecutor. We're going to be part of the jury for Chris and Chef's trial. It's going to be held this Tuesady coming."
"Oh, okay," said Bridgette. "That's a few days away. We'd best be getting ready for it now. Who else will be on jury duty for the trial?" she asked.
"The prosecutor hasn't mentioned it yet," Geoff replied. "But she did say that twelve of the former Total Drama contestants will be in the jury box. The judge must really want Chris and Chef to be locked up, eh?"
"I'm not so sure about that," said Bridgette. "I hate Chris and Chef. I really do. Especially after…" Bridgette paused, because she did not want to mention what happened to her with Alejandro in Yukon. Geoff nodded. Bridgette continued. "But I don't think all of us would vote unreasonably just because of our past experiences with the show. The vote has to be unanimous."
"But who would really give a crap about Chris or Chef?" Geoff wondered. "Especially after all they've put us through?"
"Well, what if Chris and Chef are innocent, and that Staci was killed by some psychopath?" Bridgette asked.
"Good point," said Geoff. "But let's hope they did kill Staci so they could finally get their karma. And so that there would be proof that at least they have something good in them," Geoff added. Bridgette nodded in agreement. They decided to start getting prepared for jury duty, even though it was a few days away. Despite their constant make-out sessions, Geoff and Bridgette were very responsible people, even though Geoff was the party boy of the show and Bridgette was clumsy.
Furthermore, despite both of them believing in the right to life and being generally nice, humble people, neither Bridgette nor Geoff could care any less about Staci's death. Why would they? The bitch never shuts up.
Next chapter Bridgette and Geoff find out who the rest of their jury members are while they get ready for the trial. The prosecutor, the judge and Chris and Chef's lawyer will all be Total Drama characters, and so too will be all the witnesses. I could use some of my OCs (which I haven't used in ages) but I prefer not to, though you might – and I mean, MIGHT – see them while they are sitting in the viewing area.
As for Staci's surname, Mistvieh is the German for 'bitch'. Pieprzony Dupku is Polish for 'fucking asshole'. Apparently, this guy is living up to his name.
Sorry for bashing Staci's character a little too much. It's not just that she's my least favourite character on the show; it's also that I'm using the indifference of the characters to Staci's demise for humorous purposes. Speaking of which, if this chapter wasn't funny enough, I can promise you, next chapter will make you laugh harder. It should be up sometime this week.
I presume you all know why the title of this story is Nine and Six Halves Angry Former Contestants.
Until next time!