Cory Monteith passed away at 10:25 pm last night. I'm crying and in shock and if you want to read my Tumblr post about my feelings, I'll give you a link. But I'm going away from my in-progress fics – for once – to write this.
This was not planned until about three minutes ago.
This is dedicated to Cory, and Lea, and everyone else in mourning. RIP Cory. We know that when it thunders, you're drumming in heaven.
Disclaimer: I don't own.
"Break a leg," she says, smiling so wide he thinks she's going to burst.
"I love you," he blurts, and it's the scariest and most honest thing he's ever said, but he knows he's got to say it because he may not have a chance ever again, and she smiles even wider and he knows everything is gonna be okay.
(For now.)
"People, people who need people," Rachel is singing, "are the luckiest people of all!"
"Very nice, Rachel," says Mr. Schue. "We'll definitely consider that for next year."
She shoots him a big smile and the only thing he can think is that he may not be around next year.
Regionals are over and they've lost, but Finn can't bring himself to care. School ends and summer begins and he has Rachel.
They're sitting on the couch one day watching some Broadway movie musical when he tells her.
She's talking about their next date—she wants to go bowling like they did the first time—and he blurts out, "I have cancer."
"What?" says Rachel, completely stopping in her tracks.
"I have cancer," he says. "I'm going to die, Rachel."
"No," she says simply, and leaves.
A week later, she comes back. He's paler, and has bags under his eyes, and is tired all the time. He hates feeling so useless.
"There are no cures?" she says desperately. "I talked to Carole and she informed of the exact type of cancer that you have and I believe that although she says all treatment options have been exhausted we can still do something. Palliative treatments may work to ensure your comfort and health down the line…" She falters at the look on his face.
"No, Rachel," he says, gathering her into his arms. She sighs and leans her head against his chest. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she says, and he can hear the tears and the I need you in her voice.
"You've lost weight," she notices. He shrugs and gives a half-grin.
"It's a thing that happens when you're dying of lung cancer."
She whacks him half-heartedly on the shoulder—she leaned her head against his chest yesterday and a crippling pain shot all through his body, so they know now not to try that again—but smiles weakly.
"I love you," she says.
"I love you, too."
"I'm forever yours," she's singing, and he wants so much to be able to sing along but the words just aren't coming out.
"Faithfully," he tries, and it comes out weak, but it comes out. He smiles triumphantly. She kisses him, then suddenly starts crying.
"Shh," he breathes. "It'll be okay."
But it won't, and they both know that.
"I love you," she says.
It's the first time he hasn't been able to say it back.
"I need you," she says again, desperately.
He just sighs.
Patches of his skin are turning blue and he isn't hungry or thirsty at all anymore and he sweats all the time.
What's happening to me, Mom? he writes on a piece of paper. He's too weak to talk.
She smoothes back his hair and looks like she's desperately trying not to cry. "You're dying, sweetie."
He breaks down and sobs. His breaths are alternatively deep and shallow and the sounds they make are like gurgles.
He needs Rachel.
Hi, Rachel! he writes, smiling widely. He's sitting up from his bed and he feels better than he has in a long time. Rachel doesn't look happy. What's up? Why don't you look happy? I'm feeling better!
"I looked it up," she whispers. "It means you're going to die soon."
He frowns.
"I love you," she chokes out.
I love you, he writes, and smiles.
Suddenly, he feels kind of tired, so he grabs her hand and squeezes it and falls asleep.
He doesn't wake up.
Rachel drives over to Noah's house first. He may have slept with Finn's girlfriend but he's still Finn's best friend.
She rings the doorbell timidly, and her gut wrenches when she sees Noah's wide smile.
"Berry-babe!" he says cheerfully. "Didja decide ya wanna get all up on this?" He gestures to his body and steps back so she can come in.
"Finn died yesterday."
The smile abruptly drops off his face. "No," he says.
She sniffs, and wills herself not to cry. "Yes," she says, and a little bit of sob creeps into the word.
Without any warning, he turns around and punches a hole in the wall. "Fucking NO!" he yells.
"Noah!" Mrs. Puckerman hurries out of the kitchen. "Do you realize the extent of the damage you've done—"
He turns on his heel and runs up the stairs. A few tears slip down Rachel's face and she turns around and runs to her car.
Quinn collapses when she hears. She doesn't seem to hear anything else Rachel is telling her past "Finn died."
Her eyes are wide, shell-shocked, and she keeps shaking her head and mumbling, "Drizzle, baby Drizzle."
Rachel slips out the door and leaves Quinn in peace.
The rest of the glee club's reactions vary. Mike's eyes go wide. Tina starts sobbing. Kurt slams the door in her face, because he knows, he is—was—Finn's brother and damn you Rachel Berry. Mercedes was informed by Kurt and is rubbing red eyes when Rachel comes to her front door. Brittany and Santana clutch on to each other desperately and wail; Santana collapses and Brittany starts talking loudly about unicorns and her cat.
Mr. Schue curls up in a ball and drowns his sorrows in beer and rocky road ice cream.
Rachel just doesn't sing.
Nothing is really the same after he dies. The glee club disbands despite Coach Sylvester giving them another year. Nobody can sing anything anymore.
"I'll Stand by You" comes on Kurt's iPod shuffle one day and Rachel can hear his sobs across the loud cafeteria.
Nobody listens to "Don't Stop Believin'" anymore.
Puck and Mike quit the football team and shield Rachel from slushies. Kurt and Mercedes rejoin the Cheerios, while Santana and Brittany quit.
Mr. Schue becomes an accountant at H. W. Menken.
Rachel sings for exactly one hour every day to practice, no more. She's just found a school called NYADA – the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts. She's determined to get in, because Finn told her she was a star.
At the auditions, she sings "People" and thinks of Finn and how she needed him. She starts crying in the middle of the performance.
Carmen Tibideaux tells her it's the most heart-wrenching performance she's ever heard from someone of her age.
She gets in and graduates top of her class.
She starts out playing Rizzo in Grease, then moves on to Velma Kelly. Soon she's playing Maria and then Fanny Brice in a revival of Funny Girl.
She gets her big break playing the lead role in a new Broadway show called Spring Awakening. She wins two Tonys.
Jesse St. James is her male lead. He tries to get back together with her. She kicks him in the gonads.
She meets Noah in California. He's graduated from NYU and is teaching guitar at UCLA.
He looks good.
She kisses him.
They both know it's a mistake, but he moves to New York to live with her and starts teaching at a small school in New York anyway.
Neither of them marry—not anyone else, or each other.
Noah gets hurt badly in a bar fight when he's had one too many drinks. He doesn't make it.
Rachel dies alone.
Her last thought is that people who need people aren't necessarily the luckiest people after all.
If any facts are wrong, I'm sorry. I kind of started crying while writing this and couldn't bother looking things up.
The candlelight vigil for Cory Monteith is 8pm PST. Take a picture of your candle and post it on Tumblr and Twitter, adjusting the time zones to where you live.