Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any of the books by Stephenie Meyer.
I AM ONLY WHAT I AM
It was in the middle of a snowstorm, you know, when it happened. It killed me to watch, but I did because he asked me to. It feels as if that horrible winter night was yesterday. That horrible day when he left this world. We were laughing and kissing and smiling and the weather was great, but after a few hours a huge snowstorm started. It was so bad that not even Edward could see through the snow, so we waited in our tent. He tried to keep me warm but it just made me more cold. I had this awful feeling in my gut, regret or guilt for something but I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was because I was making Edward feel bad that I was cold? No, not quite. Well I tried to start some conversation with Edward, but he didn't want to talk he wad thinking, probably of ways to get us out of here. "Edward, don't worry I'm fine" He looked at me like your mom looks at you when you lie. You know that face you get, like your in an interrogation room or something. It made me feel awful so I looked away. The snowstorm lasted for about 3 to 4 days. I couldn't feel my legs and Edward looked exhausted, which was weird considering vampires don't sleep. Oh and by the way I figured out that little guilt that I had. It was that I had turned Jacob down. If Jacob were here, we would have this problem. I didn't want to feel guilty about it I just knew that that was the truth and I had to face it. I decided to tell Edward how I felt and now I really wish that I wouldn't have. He freaked out. I had never seen Edward get so mad over a single feeling or anything for that matter. He said that he would make it warm, he would make it warm enough inside the tent so that I could live. The following morning, Edward had our last match n his hand. I asked him, "What do you plan on doing with that? That wont last us long at all and we have nothing to burn." Edward looked sad. I wanted to see him smile. I hadn't seen his smile in such a long time. I missed the Edward Cullen that I knew and loved. It had been a week since the last time that I saw Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper and Edward. I knew he was there with me now but it wasn't the Edward I knew and I wanted him back. Unfortunately, I got what I asked for. Edward was always giving everything up to save me and that night, He gave his life for me.