A/N: So I created this forum called MIOBI Addicts Anonymous… It is where we air our addictions and talk bs about the show and apparently it's also where ideas flourish. Discussing the newest episode Saxopwn mentioned how this episode would have been so boss with Razor in it, inspired me and resulted in this. You should check out the forum. I wrote this kinda fast, but still, hope you like it.
Spoilers: 02x14 Life of Death
-XX-
I Sensed It
Life is officially boring.
When Carter ups and quits, leaving Boulder entirely and going to Denver it really pisses me off. Not because we were bestest friends or anything, but because I made a game of seeing how many pepperonis I could stick in his hair without him noticing by the end of the day and now with no Carter and no hair there's no more game.
Then there's the fact that with Emily gone too, it means I actually have to work. Balls. Now I'm the only person under thirty working here and no one laughs at my jokes and I've never been the type to enjoy the routines. Everything becomes boring. B-O-R-I-N-G. When it isn't rush hour and the place empties out, usually I'm causing trouble to Carter or flirting with Emily or scribbling lyrics, but they're gone and so is my inspiration.
Seriously, life has become so boring I've taken up raising tortoise. Yep, tortoise racing has become big with the usually drunk, usually stoned, completely blitzed townies. It was way too big of a cash cow to pass up and what else is there to do around here anyways? It's also totally awesome that my tortoise, Blades, is as fast as they come.
Then one particularly boring day during work when I'm napping on the counter and the front door loudly slams open. It makes me jump and thank God because just then I was having the creepiest dream where some chick shot me in the crotch. Usually I'd contemplate the apparent implications and symbolism there, but then I look at the door and I don't think I've been happier to see a sellout.
"HONEY, YOU'RE HOME!" I shout loud enough to wake the dead.
In my excitement, I can't even manage to walk around the counter and so I jump it, slide onto my feet on the other side and run to my old friend with open arms. I hug him tight and jump up and down I'm so excited. He looks indifferent despite his laughter and I'm glad to see he's still the same Damon.
"Dude, what are you doing back here?"
"Did you honestly expect me to stay away for long? I needed this, Ray. It's just one of those things I had to do, y'know? I had to come home or I probably would have lost my mind," Damon says coolly.
"Well, it's good to have you back, bro," I say, keeping my arm around his neck, "And I honestly mean that. Things have been dull around here as of late."
Damon chuckles. "And you expect me to liven things up?"
"I don't know about 'liven' but you home will make things more interesting for sure," I assure him. "Now, what can I do for you, bestest friend in the entire world?"
"You can get in that kitchen and make me a pie, woman," Damon says in the manliest voice he can manage. He grabs my shoulders, spins me around and shoves me back toward the kitchen. I comply, playfully fretting like a housewife and things are already starting to look up.
We spend the rest of the afternoon with me neglecting my job and Damon talking about California and how much he missed Emily. He talks about Emily's friend having a studio at her house (um, why hasn't Emily hooked me up with this chick yet?) and how he's going to make new music. It's been a long time since him and me wrote anything together and we probably won't ever again. Neither of us mentions it, but I know he's too proud to ask for help and it's just going to upset me if he ends up taking what we create and leaving me behind again.
Damon talks about his idea to do a small, more intimate show at the Pizza Shack and I promise to talk to my manager about it. He fumbles as he mentions his stage fright issues and I assure him I'll do everything I can to pimp him out. It feels like old times again when things were simple with us and if anything it's nice to have that back.
I checked the schedule and traded with a co-worker so I could be out there on the floor and watch Damon perform. Waiting sucks. I always wake up with sore arms. I'd much rather be in the kitchen, baking pies or answering the phones or packing the delivery, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice to watch Damon play. I've never been oblivious to Damon's talent. The dude is crazy good, both with guitar and vocals.
The day of, Damon arrives hours before the show and with a pretty girl in tow.
She looks familiar. I swear I've seen her before, but I can't be too sure. She's thin, insanely thin, with a tan face and dark hair. She looks sweet with her soft brown eyes and sad smile. That's always been his type, I guess. Shaking my head, I tell myself not to think like that. Damon is with Emily. He's happy with Emily. I slap a mental label on this chick—groupie—and walk over.
"Hey man," I call to him, dusting the flour off my hands. "Ready for the big night?"
"Hardly," Damon murmurs nervously.
"Well, at least you'll have two people in the audience if no one else decides to show up," I tell him playfully. Turning to the girl sitting with him, I hold out my hand. "Hey. I'm Razor."
"Kaylie," she introduces herself and shakes my hand.
"Nice to meet you," I say politely. "I swear I've seen you around before."
"She's a gymnast, a friend of mine and Emily's," Damon says. Kaylie suddenly looks so hurt when he says that and I can't help, but wonder what's up with that. "Remember I told you I was recording at her house?"
"Right," I nod, "That's cool of you to share like that. Damon can be a total studio hog."
"Oh, no," she says, "I, um, I'm not a singer. At all."
"She's being modest," Damon says, giving her this tender look. It sets off red flags in my head. "You're awesome."
Kaylie rolls her eyes. "You're just saying that."
He laughs lightly and gently touches her shoulder. "Well, I've been saying it forever now because it's true." Damon looks at me and it's surprising. For a second I thought he completely forgot I was there. "Kaylie here helped me with a song that we are going to sing tonight. We as in together."
The girl looks like she's going to be sick, but it's the first time I've ever seen Damon confident about performing. Razor senses are tingling. This cannot be good.
"Well, I can't wait to hear it," I tell them, starting to back away from their table right up in front of the stage. "I need to get back to prep work for tonight, but, ah, can I get you two anything?"
"A pizza would be nice. I can't perform on an empty stomach," Damon says. He casts Kaylie another tender look that worries me for reasons I can't even begin to explain. "Hungry?" he asks her gently.
Kaylie smiles sadly. "Starving."
When they finally agree on toppings I take the order back to the kitchen and get to work. Every so often I'll peek out like I'm afraid to leave the two of them alone in a room for too long. I don't know why I feel this way. Maybe out of loyalty to Emily. Whatever it is, it puts me on edge seeing Damon and Kaylie together. It's probably innocent, but from my experience that's how the worst things start out.
They aren't touching or looking at each other suggestively or anything. I know Damon isn't cheating on Emily with Kaylie, but I see the potential. As stupid as it probably sounds, I can sense her aura and it's dark. It matches Damon's. That's probably why they're drawn to one another. One lost soul seeking solace in another. I can't blame them for wanting someone who understands, but I also know they're treading dangerous waters without even knowing it.
As the sun starts to disappear, people start coming in. With how many teenage girls are wearing Damon's face on their t-shirts, it's safe to say the hoards of people aren't just here because the Shack's secret recipe tomato sauce. Damon was so sure that no one was going to show, but then they all did and damn they're ordering pizzas like crazy. I don't know if Mac hates me more for putting him in the kitchen to work a rush like this or if I hate Damon for making me have to be out there, being charming as I take orders and go back and forth between the kitchen and the dining area about a million times, lugging around pizzas. It is worth it, though. I almost forgot how awesome Damon is on stage.
When all my tables are taken care of and all my customers are content, I stand back and watch my best friend perform. It makes sense that he's the one who broke into the business. He takes it so seriously and puts his heart into it, something I could never do completely. Music is and always will be fun for me. It's Damon who turns it into an art and he bleeds for it.
A whole bunch of girls barge in mid-set and I realize Emily is one of them. With her selling her soul to gymnastics, I haven't seen her around much. I should have known she'd end up here. Emily and Damon could never stray too far from each other. It's a prime reason I bowed out of the race for her heart.
I bounce straight over and hug her, only half sorry I forgot I'm wearing my apron that's dusted with flower and probably has transferred onto her. Emily is so taken by surprise that she doesn't have the time to think about it and just hugs me back. I know I might be a little over affectionate, but whatever. I'm Razor. I'm like a cute puppy. Everyone loves cute puppies.
"Em!" I shout. Man, I get way too excited about seeing people outside of the Shack. I really need to get out more. "Here to see Dae's show?"
"I couldn't miss it," Emily says. "How's he doing so far?"
"Not bad. I'd say three and a half stars out of five. Sounds great, but seriously, the entire set is filled with sappy songs about desperately missing some chick that he's apparently hopelessly in love with," I roll my eyes, "I don't know about you, but if I were his girlfriend, I'd get to the bottom of this and quick."
Emily rolls her eyes and shoves me, but I just grin and lazily drape my arm around her. Emily's eyes move to the stage where Damon sits with his acoustic guitar and my eyes skirt around Emily for a second. Hello familiar, beautiful blonde chick. My prom date whose name I can't remember or maybe I never learned.
Right when I'm about to strike up a conversation Damon announces that he's going to be singing his next song with Kaylie and the gymnasts standing with me expression their confusion. The blonde is particularly floored, claiming Kaylie can't sing. Well, we're about to see if that's true or not.
Up on stage, lights on her face, Kaylie looks like she's going to be sick and Damon is using one of his power stares to assure her that it's going to be okay. They start to sing together, gradually growing more confident as the song progresses. From the point of view of a musician, I didn't really enjoy it. Kaylie sounds good for a girl, who adamantly denies being a singer, but her voice is so high and Damon's is so low. It didn't mesh well for me, but then again I'm not an expert on duets.
It seems like more than music though. It looks like Kaylie had something huge to overcome, some confliction, and she's trying to work through it through music. Also it seems like Damon is helping her. Understanding and guiding and being there for her. It's kind of awesome to see, but then I feel Emily tense beside me and I remember, no, not awesome at all. It means trouble.
Emily, love her, but she's never been the most secure person. Even more than that, I think she can sense the potential like I can. Her Emily senses are going haywire and it could possibly mean a lot worse for her than me. Even without knowing all the details, I can see and feel the connection between Damon and Kaylie. I think Emily can too. Damn. I wish I could take back that girlfriend joke.
After the song, Damon takes a break and goes to embrace and talk to Emily. I hold back and let them have their moment. Instead I set my eyes on that blonde who's standing beside me. I was starting to get used to her popping in from time to time, being Carter's girlfriend and all. Then she suddenly stopped coming by and not too long after that Carter up and disappeared. Damn my curiosity.
I just can't help myself, lean down towards her and whisper, "Look at that face. You have to be up to no good."
Though I was joking, the blonde quickly whirls to face me, looking shocked. "Oh, Pizza Boy."
I snap my fingers as if trying to remember, even though I already know exactly who she is despite not knowing her name. "And you were Miss Pretty in Pink from prom and, um, Anderson's girlfriend, right?"
Even with my most charming grin on, she doesn't look amused. "Actually, you got it wrong both times," she points out, "Kaylie was wearing pink per usual—"
"I was actually referencing the movie—"
"—And I am not with Carter anymore. We broke up."
I raise both brows. "So you're single?"
"No. 'We broke up' means something else," she says sarcastically. Before I can come up with something clever, the girl scowls and stops her feet. I nearly jump away with fear, but then she looks at me, her eyes moving from the top of my head down to my feet and back. "You're a guy."
"That I am."
"Tell me. What does Payson Keeler have that I don't?" she growls, pointing across the room to where Payson is standing with some guy. "I mean, sure, the whole puberty thing turned her nonexistent boobs into melons, but look at her. Listen to her. Everything about her screams lesbian."
A little nervous and a little afraid, I tell her, "To be honest, I have no clue what you're talking about."
Suddenly she turns to me, looking a little curious and mystified. "Wait, why did you just ask if I'm single?"
I give her my best grin. "So you're jealous of Payson, huh?"
She makes this sound deep in her throat and it's apparent she doesn't want to talk about it. She then starts to walk off, her chin tilted to the ceiling and a saucy swagger in her hips. I bite my lip a bit, watching her walk over to the boy who suddenly looks so confused and doesn't have Payson by his side anymore. When she's standing in front of him, looking flirty, she gives me a sideward glance. Damn. I really wish I knew her name.
Someone from the kitchen yells at me and I guess that means I should get back to work, checking on customers, refilling drinks and snapping at the new busboy to get those tables cleared off. As I'm doing this, chaos ensues, much like it does every time those girls from the Rock are involved.
A blonde woman barges in, all frantic, telling Emily that they need to leave ASAP before some dude shows up. Then just like that some dude in a suit walks in and everyone reacts like he's the metal dude from Terminator 2. Everyone scrambles and I am so amused it isn't even funny. Emily makes off and the Terminator guy is scolding the chick with the beer, which sucks because she was so two refills away from dancing on the tables.
All in all, my week went from boring to awesome in a snap.
At the end of the night, after Damon gives out his last autograph, but before I have to clean and lock up, we're sitting in the empty dining room, just the two of us. Kaylie had excused herself to make a call to her parents, saying something about how they're happy she's doing something non-gymnastics, but still overprotective. Damon and I sit back and enjoy the quiet.
"Damn, Dae, I hate to admit it, but you still got it," I say, sipping my orange soda.
"You think?" he asks uncertainly. As if he doesn't know he's amazing.
"Sure," I assure him. "Your sound is more mature than it was when we were still the Shelter Pups. You have come a long way, my friend. The student has certainly surpassed the teacher in the art of being a frontman."
"Thanks. And what did I tell you about Kaylie?" Damon asks excitedly. "She's great, right?"
"She seems like a great girl. All I know is you never looked that way when you were singing with me," I tell him, playfully elbowing him. I want to add you never look that way when you're singing to anyone other than Emily, but I know not too. We're both too exhausted to start fighting. "So what's going on with that? You and Kaylie?"
"I'd want to get her in the studio with me to record it, but even after all that she still isn't completely convinced of how talented she is," Damon explains. And my question flew straight over his head.
"But nothing's, like, going on between you two, right?" I try to be casual, but Damon doesn't look like he enjoys the question at all. He sits up straight and narrows his eyes. And here we go…
"Razor…"
Quickly putting up my hands, I say, "I'm just making sure."
"I love Emily," Damon says firmly and without blinking.
"Well, I love M&Ms, but it doesn't mean they're the only candy I eat. Skittles are pretty awesome too."
"See and that's precisely why you don't have a girlfriend," Damon says. Ouch. That one hurt a little, but I don't let it show. "Ray, you can't compare girls to candy."
I raise a challenging brow. "They're both sweet and bad for you."
Damon rolls his eyes and starts to get up.
"Alright. Alright. I'll drop it," I say frantically. "I just don't want to see things get all messy between you and Emily, especially after what we've all already been through to get to this point."
"You don't think I think about that?" Damon asks. Judging by how defensive he got, the shock before that and the oblivion even before that, I'd say he hadn't till I suggested it. "Razor, I know what I'm doing. This isn't high school. I can be friends with a girl without it having to be a big deal. I'm in love with Emily Kmetko. End of story."
Trying to salvage the moment, I choose humor. "So that means Kaylie's available, right?"
Damon's face darkens and that actually takes me by surprise. "No. She's working through some things right now and dating isn't exactly what she needs."
"And who exactly are you to say what she needs, Damon?"
He doesn't say anything, but the message is clear in the way he looks at me: stay away, Ray. I mean it.
A tense second hangs between us before Kaylie returns from the back of the Shack.
"So I have fifteen minutes to get home. Not like it'd make a difference. My parents already treat me like I'm grounded, but I don't feel like having to sit through an interrogation after the day I've had," Kaylie explains once she's standing in front of our table. "So, you ready?"
"Just about," Damon says. He slides on his jacket and stands from his seat, looking at me suspiciously. "Hey, thank your manager again for me, will you? It was really cool of the Shack to let me play here. I'll see you later, Ray."
"Yeah, see yah," I say, lifting my hand in a weak wave. I then look over at Kaylie and smile. "Hey Kaylie, can I ask you a quick question?"
She looks confused and Damon looks panicked. "Sure."
Are you as in denial about all of this as Damon is?
"Who's that blonde that came in here with Emily and the other gymnasts?" I asks instead, putting on a goofy grin. It makes Damon relax, but Kaylie looks just as confused as before. "Not Payson, but the other one. Shorter. Kinda scary. Looks like if she had a villainous mustache she'd be twiddling it?"
"You mean Lauren?" she asks.
"Bingo!" I snap my fingers. "Lauren."
"Lauren Tanner," Kaylie says with a little more ease.
I nod my head. "Lauren Tanner."
"Okay, if you're done mentally cataloging, we should go," Damon says.
"Yeah, it was really nice meeting you," I grin at Kaylie and Damon rolls his eyes. He always thinks I'm hitting on all the girls with just that look and, well, sometimes I am, but not this time even if it could be an attempt to preserve Emily and Damon's relationship. Just call me human shield Razor.
Kaylie smiles politely in return before the two make their way to the door. Once they walk out and the door slams behind them, I spring to the far side of the Pizza Shack and crawl into one of the booths, practically pressing my face up against the glass window. I watch them slowly walking to his convertible, a quiet conversation for two.
In another world I think they'd be cute together. She looks at him in this way that's different and I can't exactly put it in words, but I want someone to look at me that way and I want to write a song about someone looking at me that way. Damon's always a lucky dude like that, but always understandably conflicted.
So as I clean up a deserted pizza shack I think about how life went to boring to having Damon and Emily back in my life, girls getting chased around by a gymnastics Terminator and the possibility of me naming my new tortoise Lauren Tanner, but only if it literally tries to attack the tortoise because then it would be less creepy and more accurate.
Then I think of Emily specifically. It could just be her situation magnifying her fears or she could really have something to be worried about if anything ever happened with Damon and Kaylie. In my eyes, it's a toss up since there isn't much to go on beside body language and a couple moments. Poor Em. If they do hookup, the heartbreak will crush her. Even if they don't, the stress will but at a more painfully drawn-out rate.
In retrospect, I learned something important that day. Maybe life doesn't start to fall apart when you think everything is finally perfect. Maybe it starts to fall apart when you realize it's boring and wish something worthwhile happened. When you go looking for trouble you find it and that's exactly what happened after the night of the performance.
Even I'll admit that it was early on to predict that a super massive black hole would suck all the sanity out of Boulder and ripped apart life as we knew it, but I still think it's a little crazy that I was the only one who could sense it—the death, the rebirth and the utter pandemonium to come.
A/N: 1) I totally ship Damon/Kaylie. 2) I write Lauren better than the show writers. Period. 3) I don't know what I'm doing with this, if I'm just going to leave it or if I'm going to continue. Tell me what you think.
xoxo