Ianto Jones came around the corner of the warehouse in time to see the net encase the alien. Captain Jack Harkness and Owen Harper rushed forward to secure it. Gwen Cooper grabbed a limb as the creature thrashed. Jack got the restraints on the thing and it went still. Ianto's team mates stood around the strange looking beast as he walked up. It was a bright purple, with large wings, one horn on it's head, and one, round eye in the middle of it's forehead.
" it's weird looking," Owen said, " any idea what it is?"
" A flying Purple People Eater." Jack said with a giggle.
Ianto stared at his boss, one eyebrow raised.
" A what?" he asked, not wanting to believe what he had just heard.
"A flying Purple People Eater." Jack said, giggling again.
Gwen & Owen both giggled along with him. Ianto looked at them, their faces were flushed and their eyes had this glazed, glassy look to them. Jack's normally lecherous grin just looked goofy. Ianto groaned. They had all touched the alien with bare hands and now seamed to be having some kind of reaction. This is not good, he thought as Jack began to sing.
"Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky
It had one long horn, one big eye
I commence to shakin' and I said OOH-ee
It looks like a purple people eater to me"
" It was a one eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater" Jack sang
One eyed, one horned flyin' purple people eater" Gwen sang back up.
"Sure looks strange to me." Jack sang the next line, spinning Gwen as he did.
"Well he came down to earth and he lit in a tree
I said Mr Purple People Eater, don't eat me
I heard him say in a voice so gruff" Jack sang
" I wouldn't eat you 'cause you're so tuff " Owen chimed in.
"It was a one eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater
One eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater
A one eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me" the three of them sang the chorus, swaying side to side.
Ianto was sure he was going to have nightmares for weeks if not possibly years from seeing Owen shaking his bum while singing " We wear short shorts."
"Well bless my soul, rock-roll, flyin' purple people eater
pigeon toed, under growed, flyin' purple people eater
I like short shorts" the three of them sang, dancing around.
Ianto groaned as more bum shaking occurred. His psyche was scared for life, he was never going to get the image out of his head. He just knew it was going to keep popping into his mind at the worse possible moments.
The trio finished their big number and collapsed onto the ground in a fit of giggles. They didn't appear to be in any danger, so with a huff, Ianto got a pair of gloves from the SUV, loaded the alien in the back, then managed to get his stoned team mates in as well. He drove back to HUB to the sounds of giggling and spontaneous singing. When they reached the HUB, Ianto was sure it was the longest drive of his life, he took the alien down to the cells. Jack, Owen, and Gwen had managed to get themselves in to the HUB and were sitting on the couch, looking like children who had played too hard and needed a nap. As Ianto watched, their eyes closed and they fell asleep, leaning against each other. While they napped, Ianto used a scanner to check them out, typed up the report, cleaned up the HUB, and made coffee. An hour after they had fell asleep, Jack woke up. He groaned and looked around.
"Ianto, what happen?" he demanded as he moved Gwen from resting against him and stood up.
" You touched the alien, Sir. " Ianto replied, "It's skin seems to have some kind of substance on it that acts like a drug to humans. It doesn't seem to have any lasting effects, just makes you acted a little goofy for awhile, then you fall asleep."
Owen's eyes popped open. He groaned and rubbed at them.
" Bloody hell, I feel like I've been on bender." he groaned.
Gwen woke with a start.
"Why was I asleep?" she demanded.
Ianto explained what had happened. Owen insisted on checking them out. The results come back normal.
" Just how goofy did we get?" Jack asked Ianto.
Ianto took a great deal of pleasure in showing them the CCTV footage. Serves you right for putting those images in my head, he thought, as they watched themselves.
"That's got to go!" Owen growled. " Right now!"
Jack and Gwen nodded in agreement as the three of them preceded to erase all of the footage. Ianto left them to it. He smiled softly to himself, patting the DVD in his jacket pocket as he headed to the tourist office.