A/N : My 1st fanfic - be gentle- My version of "what If" Sookie brokedown after Eric hurt her arm and demanded to know what happened between them while he was cursed.

I would like to say thank you to my girls : Vikinglover Elle, SassyVampMama, MakesMyHeadSpin, kjwrit and Suki59 - my Fanfic family! You are my Fab 5 and I luv you guys!

This is where my Sookie's head is at : 1) she misses Eric and is brokenhearted 2) this is the month anniversary of when he stayed with her 3) Someone is trying to kill her again 4) The last physical tie to Gran - her house - has been set on fire 5) on top of it all Eric is being unkind.

Last but not least- I own NOTHING (but 2 pair of last seasons Jimmy Choo's) Dear Ms. Harris, I adore you and your characters. Please forgive me for borrowing them. I know I did so without asking but it was all Eric's idea and he promised he would smooth it over with you. Love Always, A tired, poor, soccer mom.

Please Remember Me

SPOV

It was officially the worst day I had in a long time. My house had been set on fire. Someone tried to kill me again! And Eric fucking Northman was breaking my heart again! My heart was aching and I wished I could turn back time to last month. This time last month he loved me. This time last month he had promised to never leave me. Hell if I could just relive three nights ago when he held me and we danced together I would be happy. Three nights ago when he told me, "Holding you seems very familiar Sookie." If he only knew.

I tried not to think about it but I replayed tonight over and over in my mind. He came to check on me. He had heard my house had burnt. I guess Charles told him. Then he did something my Eric would have never done. He physically hurt me. He grabbed my shoulders and upper arm and the pressure was absolutely excruciating. Thinking back he looked like my Eric for a split second after I chastised him for hurting me.

He had grabbed my arms. "You will tell me!" he growled.

I felt the tears welling in my eyes "If you get your memories back, you will think back on this moment and it will break your heart, Eric. It will break my Eric's heart…" I whimpered. He released my arm and looked at me softly. Then Sam came out back to check on me and it was over, the moment of softness was over. Who the hell knows maybe I imagined it. I have not slept in the four weeks since he left. Since he forgot he loved me. I started trying to sleep on his side of the bed but that stopped working before I moved out of the house due to the fire. Sam felt sorry for me and let me leave work early. Everyone remembered the way Eric and I had been around each other. They all seemed to feel sorry for me but were nice enough not to mention it. Now I am in a strange bed. My arm hurts and I miss him. God I miss him so much. Then for some strange reason I thought about the shirt he had wore when he stayed with me. That stupid Louisiana Tech T-shirt that Jason had picked up at Wal-Mart for Eric. I wanted that shirt and if I could just find it, maybe, just maybe I could get some sleep but what I was really looking for was peace. I drove out to the house and looked in the hidey hole. I looked in what used to be his closet and then I decided he must have taken it with him when he left me. I just got back in the car and drove. I did not care what he thought or said when I got there I would not leave without that shirt. He could go to hell. The Louisiana Tech T-Shirt became my obsession. I drove like a maniac and now I look up and find myself at Fangtasia. Oh hell.

"Well Sookie what are you doing here? Didn't my master just come to see you? He left here quite annoyed about something. Did you have something to do with that?" Pam snarked

"Let me by Pam." I said as I stormed past her. Eric was not on the stage. "Is he in his office?" I asked

"No Sookie. He is not. You could wait by the…" I cut her off.

"Great. I just need to get something out of his office and I will leave before he gets back." I stated like it was common for me to go into his office unaccompanied. I was just inside the door when Pam caught up to me and said, "You're serious? Sookie you can't just…." As Pam started to tell me all the reasons I could not go in his office, I just kept going. I was on a mission and she was going to have to pick me up and carry me out to get me to stop.

PPOV

I was trying to explain to Sookie why she could not just go into Eric's office but then I saw her face. She was on the verge of tears and then I saw her hands shake. I knew her home had recently caught fire but this was something more, much deeper than monetary loss. I had only had Sookie's blood once but I could feel pain rolling off her. So I followed her into the office. She was muttering to herself. "It has to be here. He would not have taken it home. It would not have meant anything to him. He would have left it. Please let it be here, please, please, please." It just went on and on like that as she went through drawers and then turned to the closet where Eric and I kept extra sets of clothes. You never know when you are going to get blood on you or if there is an attack and your clothes get ruined. So keeping extra clothes is pragmatic and my maker is nothing if not pragmatic.

I noticed that she had got onto her hands and knees and was going through the clothes on the closet floor. Suddenly she stopped and pulled a t-shirt from the floor she whispered "oh thank you, thank you." She pulled the shirt to her nose and took a deep breath and then the tears started falling like rain. I wasn't sure what to do but as far as humans go, I like Sookie and I do not like it when she leaks. "Sookie what is wrong? Why is that shirt so important to you?" I asked as gently as I could.

"The last time he had it on he loved me. He held me. He told me I was beautiful and he said he'd stay with me forever. He said he would never abandon me. He said he would bring me to his side." And then she sobbed.

SPOV

I told Pam that Eric had loved me. The strange thing is she did not look surprised. I could hear Eric telling me he would not leave me and that he cared for me. I could feel him holding me and the pain of knowing he no longer felt that and never being in his arms again hurt so much. I began to weep even harder. "Oh God, Pam it hurts so bad….he said he loved me…he said he wouldn't go and he did and now I am all alone. I thought if I found the shirt I could hold it and sleep at night but it won't work nothing will! Oh Pam it hurts, it hurts. Please, please make it stop. I can't be strong anymore I can't. I'm so tired. I hurt, I hurt, please, please, please…." I begged as Pam sank to her knees beside me and gathered me to her. "And he hurt me Pam. He hurt my arm." I whimpered and sobbed. I felt my tears falling on my knees. Pam was rocking me and shushing me. She began humming to me and it made me look up at her and I was shocked to see red tears falling down her face.

Something about seeing her cry for me made it even worse and I missed Gran. It that moment I missed Gran so much. The last person who ever cried for me and with me was Gran. It was too much. I mentally checked out and just began to sob. A moment later Eric's office door was thrown open and there he stood in the door and for once it seemed Eric was at a loss for words.

EPOV

Pain. It was so strong it was tangible. It was flowing from both Sookie and Pam. They had to be under attack. I flew as fast as I could to get to them. I had been home after the fiasco of a night I had with Sookie. I had hurt her and that was not my intent. Not something I wanted to do. And now, now Pam and Sookie were in trouble at Fangtasia. Why would Sookie drive to my club after the night she had? I reached Fangtasia and all was well. Everything seemed in order. Thalia informed me Sookie and Pam had gone in my office. I was not prepared for what I saw. I threw open the door to my office and found my child and my Sookie on the floor crying. The sorrow and pain rolled through the room. I was almost afraid to move, afraid to speak. Sookie was sobbing. I could only make out little fragments of what she was saying.

"I miss Gran. He hurt me. I miss him. He hates me, he hates me now. Pam make it stop. I hurt. I can't be strong anymore I can't I can't. Please, please, please no more." She said more but I could not make it out through the sobbing.

I spoke to Pam in Old Norse, "Pam what has happened to her? To you?" She did not answer me at first she kept humming to Sookie who seemed to be clinging to Pam and a T-Shirt. The shirt had just appeared in my office one day. I wondered if it had belonged to me when I stayed with her. I tried once more,

"Pam, what is going on? Why is she crying? Why are you crying? Why is she holding that shirt? Please my child, talk to me." I coaxed gently. Pam seemed to be trying to gather herself. She picked Sookie up and carried her to the couch and sat with her sobbing in her lap. Sookie just continued to sob. Pam took a deep breath, which I knew she does not need so that meant only one thing. I was in trouble.

"She is crying because you hurt her you idiot. Master, you loved her and she loved you. Any of us who saw you two together while you stayed with her knew it but I had no idea how much until she came here tonight. Eric, she has not slept since you left. Apparently you promised to never leave her alone. And then you physically hurt her tonight. It was just too much for her little body and heart to process. She came here to get this shirt because the last time you had it on….she said you loved her."

Pam paused, "she thought if she had the shirt she would be able to sleep. Look at her Eric. Really look at her. She is not sleeping or eating like she should. Look at her. And on top of it all you hurt her? You twist and crush her little arm? Master this is not like you." Pam's tears returned. I wanted to hold Sookie. I would make this right. I only wanted to hold her.

All I wanted her to tell me earlier is that she cared for me and knew that I cared for her. I already knew that was the case but I wanted to hear her say it. I needed to be alone with her.

"Pam leave us. Leave her to me…" I tried but Sookie began sobbing harder. She clung to Pam even more and sobbed out "No! NO! You can't have her too. No, she is all I have now. No Pam please don't leave me please." I felt my dead heart break. "Sookie it is okay. He is going to help. He wants to help. He won't hurt you." Pam cooed. "No. He hates me. He hates me now." She whispered. I was over a 1000 years old and had been tortured but the pain that ripped through me, at that statement, had to rival being staked.

"No little one, I do not hate you. Sookie, Sookie, look at me angel. Look at me." I begged in a hushed tone. Pam tried to help, "Sookie really it is okay. Look, Look it is Eric. Your Eric. He wants to hold you sweetie. Let him hold you." She stroked Sookies's hair and tried to calm her for me. Sookie looked up at me with swollen red eyes. It looked like she too had cried blood. Her whole body was shaking but she acknowledged me . I smiled gently at her. "Sookie, I am here. I am sorry. Do you wish for me to hold you?" I asked.

She nodded. "Do you wish me to put on that shirt and hold you? Would that help?" She nodded again and tried to say yes but only a little squeek came out. My brave, sweet Sookie, I had reduced her to this.

She reluctantly handed the t-shirt to me. As I put it on I had a flash of a memory. I was standing in her house, in the hallway, Sookie laughing and smiling. Another memory hit, one of me throwing her onto my back and running through a wooded area with her. I shook my head as if fogged and the memories were lost to me. I pulled the vest off that I had wore to enthrall the vermin from earlier in the evening and put the t-shirt on like she wanted. Like she wanted, yes I would do whatever she wanted, whatever it took.

"Come here Sookie. Let me hold you." I whispered to her. She nodded and very slowly began unwrapping herself from Pam. She had almost relinquished her grip on Pam and risked a quick look to her. Like she wanted reassurance from Pam that everything was okay and that she could let go of her.

Pam smiled brightly and said, "it is ok now Sookie. Go to him. It is okay."

"You'll stay though, right? You won't go?" Sookie asked.

"I will be right here Sookie. " Pam smiled and rubbed Sookie's arm. I had not seen Pam this affectionate toward someone, other than me, in centuries if ever. As if she read my mind Pam looked at me and smiled. "She took care of you when I could not. She protected you when others would have left you. She grows on you after a while." Pam smiled as she looked down at Sookie.

I took Sookie into my arms and breathed in her scent. It was like going home. It was safe and wonderful. If I closed my eyes I could envision home by the Nordic Sea and the comfort that rolled throughout the room was just as much for me as it was for Sookie. She took deep breaths , inhaling my scent, as I had done to her. As she clung to me she began to pray.

"Dear God please! Please give him back to me, if only for 5 minutes. I never got to say goodbye. I didn't even get to say goodbye…please." The sobbing began again in earnest. She was shaking. She cradled her arm, I had hurt, to herself and clung to me with the other as if she thought she would die if she let go. I had to do something. I had to stop this pain, physical, emotional and otherwise, I had to stop it tonight. "Pam pull your vehicle around I need you to drive us home."

SPOV

I knew I was being carried. I knew I was in the backseat of a minivan in Eric's arms. Other than that I had no idea where I was or what was going on when I came back to myself. I remembered him holding me in his office and then nothing. But this was wonderful. I was in his arms. He had on my favorite t-shirt. I began rubbing my face on his chest. Breathing in his wonderful scent and I looked up into his eyes. He smiled at me and there he was - MY Eric -smiling down at me and suddenly all was okay with the world. I smiled and stopped crying as I asked "where are we going?" Eric simply whispered "home."

EPOV

Holding her in the van she began rubbing her face on me. My thought was , 'that is right little one, scent me. Mark me as yours.' Once we got to my house I pulled Sookie from the van and took her inside and up to my room. She was fast asleep. I undressed her and put the shirt I had been wearing, her life line, on her. Under normal circumstances Sookie Stackhouse in my bed wearing only panties and a t-shirt would be cause for celebration but tonight was not that night. Just encase she did not wake before the dawn took me I wrote her instructions about the house and security system. I also wrote her a heartfelt letter of how sorry I was and that I already regretted my actions from this past month and this evening and begged for her to forgive me. Once that was done I crawled into bed with her and she began to wake. "MMMM Baby," she cooed as she cuddled into me, "I had the worst dream. You did not love me anymore. You hated me. You hurt me." She whimpered. "Shush Sookie is okay. I am here." She smiled with her eyes closed. "Eric MMMM kiss me, love me…MMMM Eric.." she whispered gently rubbing my arms. It took everything in me not to respond. It would not be honorable to do this with her now. "Sookie wait…"

"Why Eric?" "Why aren't you making loving to me? Baby please?" She said as she rolled over. Just then she rolled on to her arm. I had not yet healed her. She yelped and was wide awake. She looked at me and then the smile was gone. "Oh, it wasn't a dream. You do hate me." She looked down and away from me. "No Sookie I do not. I care so much. I have been wrong. Let me make this up to you little one. "

"No Eric, I should go home." She sighed

"NO… No " I said a little more gently the second time. "Sookie stay. Let me hold you so you can get some sleep. Would that be okay?" I looked at her with my eyes pleading.

"Yes."

I looked at her arm and asked her "Would you like me to heal that for you?"

"Yes."

That surprised me but made me happy. I pricked my finger and gave her some blood. I knew it would not take much.

"Thank you."

I went for broke. "Sookie, you stop the ache. You take it away. I ache here and I don't know what it means" I point to my chest. She looked at me so concerned. "What are you talking about Eric? How does it hurt? What does it feel like?" She said as she rubbed my chest where I had motioned that the pain was located. Once again she amazed me. Everything I have done to her and she is still willing to be concerned about me. She worried about me. "Since I left your home it has been happening but the other night at Fangtasia when we danced it stopped. It was the moment you took me in your arms. The ache just stopped and tonight just holding you it goes away." She brushed my hair from my eyes and kissed my cheek. "Is this what it feels like Sookie? Is this what it feels like to be loved?" She smiled and kissed my other cheek. She held my face in her hands and my long dead heart as well.

She stayed silent for a long time and then she began to speak. "I was driving home from work, it was New Years Eve and I saw you running down the road….." Sookie told me the story of us. She looked deep in my eyes and kissed me "I miss you so much. Was any of it you?" she asked.

"All of it was Sookie. My mind may not remember but my body, my long dead heart they remember. They know that they love you. Every time you are in my arms the world is suddenly bright and full of color. Sookie I know that I love you. I have known for some time. I knew in Jackson." She looked shocked but smiled wildly.

"Oh Eric I love you so much!" She held me. The kisses began slowly enough but then the passion flared. Everything I had held in, every emotion I had held in check came flowing out of me and into her. She was writhing against me. "Eric I know you want to love me but baby I need you inside me so bad. Please Eric please. Baby fuck me, please." She pleaded. Who am I to question a lady.

I went down on her with wild abandon. I licked her clit & she screamed my name. "Eric! I am so close..oh!" She pushed up and I pinned her down by her hips. I plunged my tongue into her over and over until she came so hard she exploded in my mouth. She tasted so damn sweet. Another memory went off in my head as I tasted her, it was of my making love to her but in this memory we were wet… from a shower I think. I pulled up and looked in her eyes as she watched me. I loved that she had watched me please her. I had not even told her to. Just then another memory hit. I plunged into her core and she screamed out YES! Another memory hit. I watched her writhe underneath me. Another memory hit. "Bite me Eric. Please baby bite!" she screamed. I bite and she came hard and so did I. Her blood filled my mouth and it was sweet and fragrant and I remembered everything. And as she predicted, my heart broke for what I had done to her.

I looked down at her and without saying a word and she just knew. "Shush, it's okay baby. It's over now. It's okay. I am fine see. You healed me, see." She showed me her arm.

"Oh Lover, how can you forgive what I have done. How I became toward you? I broke every promise, every vow. Lover, lover…" I wept. She allowed me my break down. She wrapped me in her arms, rocked me gently and whispered,

"Eric, do you love me?"

I answered without hesitation, "Yes!"

"I love you too and we will have the rest of eternity to figure the rest out." She smiled and winked at me. And then giggled, "I will think of a way you can make it up to me."

"Sookie, my beloved did you mean that, for all Eternity, you won't leave me? You will let me turn you?" I asked with all the hope in the world.

"Yes. Not tonight or anytime soon but one day, sooner rather than later. I don't want you to ever feel the way I did this past month. I have to let you turn me to save you from that pain."

"Sookie, you have made me so happy. I will spend forever making the last month up to you. I will love you and will worship you forever." I kissed her and we made love. I laid her down. I gazed at her for the longest time "Beautiful." was all I could say. Sookie smiled her sweet I love you smile and I sat her back up. "Wrap your legs around me like this lover." I said as I did the same. We wrapped around each other and I reached between us to check her readiness. She was soaked. "Oh Sookie, you are so wet for me." She only moaned in response. I played with her clit with one hand and slipped a finger inside her with the other and brought her. While she was recovering I slipped inside her. She whispered, "I love you." I rocked her gently and then faster. Her forehead was pressed to mine and we could not break the gaze. We stared into each other eyes. She began writhing on me. "Perfect, oh Sookie this is perfect. You are perfection my angel." She pulled my hair and neck to one side and she bit my neck. Oh Hell that felt great. I came harder than I ever had in my 1000 year existence. We laid in each other arms for a long time when I realized what I wanted. What I had to have.

I love you Sookie Stackhouse. Marry me, be my bonded and pledged?" It just flowed out of my mouth. She only grinned.

SPOV

"I will only say yes to the one thing I understood. Yes I will marry you Eric Northman. You can explain the rest tomorrow, the first night of our new life together!" I smiled a real smile for the first time in a month.

It was the perfect ending to the worst day.

~~~the end~~~

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