So, I'm going to assume you have no idea what kind of story this. Based on the summary that is, its my second attempt at a 'What if' type of story, and please have no fear. Nightmare will still be updated soon, Anyway, in this story two avatars at the same point in the storyline meet, the major point is the Lucina confrontation when she orders the Avatar to die basically. The difference from Canon at this point is that all of the Avatars supports were effectly destroyed, the only person who truly trusts them anymore is Chrom.
This chapter is a touch depressing, I'll warn you now. Either way, future chapters will be slightly less dreary. The main romance pairing here is the two Avatars, as they struggle to regain friendships, to reearn the trust of their former friends and defeat Grima by combining their fellow shepherds. So please, enjoy it! As best you can that is!
Dedicated to my two awesome Sempais: Cormag Ravenstaff and my coauthor/Sempai: The Erudite =3
Chapter 1: In another life, I am you?
The boat slid slowly along the glassy waters into its narrow berth. It was raining, the droplets striking and disturbing the surface of the water gently, but significantly enough to give the illusion that the sea itself was boiling. That was fitting, considering what had recently transpired. I stepped off shakily, nodding toward the tanned and wearied old fisherman who had given me passage in secret. The rain picked up, the downpour not exactly doing many favors for my psyche. I needed to get away for a while. A long while. I pulled the hood of my old cloak over my face further, to conceal my identity on the narrow chance I may be discovered.
I walked forward towards the foreboding black gate. Normally it was nothing more than a curiosity, a tourist attraction run by the Anna family. Today, however, it would give me the opportunity to escape, at least for a time. My eyes closed tightly, calling to mind the reason for my clandestine departure: Lucina. There was a sudden clash of thunder in the sky, which, I mused, was all too convenient as I recalled the moment.
Her sword, Falchion, pointed towards me, glinting in the sunlight, "I need to kill you to protect my Father! I am sorry, Lana." I laughed morbidly at the thought. What a thing to say. She had apologized after calling for my head. I wondered, had my friendship, my loyalty, meant nothing to her? I couldn't even speak for a few moments in the consternation of these thoughts, the consideration of what to do next weighing heavily in my mind. Should I let her strike me down? Or live just awhile longer in hopes we could fix things? Could these things even be fixed?
My meaningful pause was interrupted as the sky above me ripped open with another strike of lightning. I shook my head in dismissal of the subject. I needed to disappear, if only for a bit, as I reminded myself. I looked at my right hand and sighed. I wondered, if I were to simply disappear, to stride forward into the mouth of the abyss and never return, would anyone so much as turn his head? I had friends, or at least I had been led to believe that was the case. Now, however, this mark made them avoid me like a pestilence. If I had been married, would my husband have left me? I felt a cascade of tears slowly stream down my face, I didn't even have a real family, only my bastard of a father, Validar. I wiped the tears away with a sigh, staining my sleeve. I had to leave, to get my mind off this.
I approached the gate with heavy heart and clouded mind. Why did I keep walking? Would it not be best if I should fall upon my own sword, to end my life now? No, I refused, not yet, at the very least. I saw a very familiar red-haired merchant standing near the gate, a bored look on her face as her eyes were as glazed over as her desk was with rainwater. She was covered by a small canopy.
"Odd day for a night out," she quipped, looking at the rain, "What can I do you for, Lana?" I was halted at being recognized and sighed, realizing how foolish I had been to forget that she would have, of course. I nodded and moved drew up to the canopy to shield my head, looking down. "That's not much of an answer," she inspected me carefully, "It's really strange to see you here alone, what's news, kiddo?" I shook my head as if shaking away the own desire to vent on her. I just wanted to go.
"Take me... somewhere else, Anna," I declared with somber resolution, my voice shaking, "Anywhere else. I just need to get away." Anna looked me over and shook her head appearing to refuse my request. I bit my lip, trying to decide if it could be worth it to skip the scrutiny and just rush through the portal.
"You're looking about as gloomy as the weather, sweetheart," she determined, a maternal note ringing in her voice, "maybe even a little more tempestuous. I expect an explanation, or at least a darn good lie." I brushed off her joke, knowing she was only trying to liven the mood. I didn't feel as though I could take part in her mirth.
"Something... happened," I explained vaguely, "I need to leave. Maybe for good. I can't handle being what I am." Anna murmured in thought for a moment. She snapped her fingers as her eyes lit up.
"Do you want to come here? That is, a whole other version of this world?" I looked at her skeptically and she smiled with a nod.
"You mean... it would be exactly like this?" Is that what I wanted? I wasn't sure.
She shook her head, "No. It would be similar, but not the same. A lot of things could be exactly the same, or just as much could he completely different. There could even be a whole other you, with a completely different personality, or other people you recognize who aren't a thing like they are here." I looked Anna over, gauging to what degree she was being serious. Another "me?" Someone else that could be in this situation one day? Maybe even... one who already figured a way out. I thought perhaps I could warn this person, and make life easier for her, or perhaps she could do as much for me.
"Is that possible?" I asked myself more than I did the redhead, "I suppose I could warn the other me, if I exist there." Anna gave me a thumbs up and started channeling magic. That was a yes. She tilted her head toward the gate, giving me the go-ahead. I stared into the shimmering pathway, wondering just what the hell I was getting into.
(In a whole other Ylisse - ?)
The boat slid into it's narrow berth. I looked toward the young, pale-faced fisherman and gave him a nod. As he rowed slowly away, I pulled the small box out of my pocket, my fingers lingering on the feel of the outside. A deluge was causing the waters to surge and become choppy, fittingly enough, I remarked. My thumb ran over the small box, and I opened it to steal a glance that prompted a sigh, there sat a small ring that I had crafted only a few days ago. Gaius was the one who had actually taught me to make it for... for her. Lucina. A bolt of lightning pierced the clouds. Why did this have to happen?
"I have to kill you to protect my Father, I'm sorry, Ashur." "I'm sorry?" Was that the best she could do? I could give her the benefit of the doubt and believe she never knew of my affections, but was that still all the more thought she put into it? I closed the box, unwilling to even acknowledge the existence of the dreaded thing. I hadn't married, not that I had really had any sort of grand design to do as much. Lucina, for all her bleakness and stoicism in seeking to protect the future, was still a wonderful woman, enjoyable to be around. To have her sword pointed my direction, with that look of pure drive in her eyes... What could I possibly say to her? That I loved her? That I would never hurt her or Chrom, at least on purpose? I gripped the box tighter; I knew that sort of talk couldn't have changed a thing. Perhaps if I had said something to her sooner. Bah, it didn't matter. None of the Shepherds would ever look at me the same again. I needed to get away from here.
My eyes went towards the foreboding black gate, I approached it slowly, lowering my hood to conceal my identity. This gate was run by Anna, someone I had once called friend. Why was I branded a foe because of some distinction made at my birth, over which I held no say? I was vilified by all of them, save Chrom. He had always trusted me, but I heard the whispers as they passed. They all told him to fear me as they did.
"Interesting choice for a rainy day activity," the redhead mused as I came closer, "Where to, Ashur?" I bowed my head on being recognized. I should have guessed, given how much I frequented the place. "What are you doing here?" she wondered aloud.
I opened my mouth, then shut it immediately, unsure of how to explain,"I need to get away. I need to be anywhere besides here. I honestly don't care where at this point." She cocked her eyebrow at me suspiciously. I wondered if it would be possible to simple leap past her into the portal.
"Care to elaborate, Mr. Doom-and-gloom?" she teased.
I huffed, struggling to find an answer. "My life has lost all meaning. I'm the vessel of an evil goddamn dragon who desires nothing short of the extinction of all life, and so I'm universally despised, including by the woman I thought I loved," I growled, my anger coalescing with pangs of sadness as I spoke.
"Huh, sounds like you ought to issue a little warning about that." I blinked a few times at her in surprise. I assumed she was joking.
"What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled by her comment.
"You know," she supposed. I assured her I didn't. "There's a whole bunch of different versions of this world, with changes as small as hair color, or as vast as gender. There might even be a whole other you at a whole different time. You could warn them or get advice, maybe?" It was pure conjecture, but it was precisely what I wanted to hear that moment, it seemed. Warn them? Get advice? Could there be a version of myself who had discovered a solution to my dilemma? Could I provide that solution to another?
"Do it," I was convinced. She smiled as she started to channel some magic. I approached the gate, following her signal, but, then -
Smack!
"Ow," I doubled back, "the hell was that?" My eyes opened to see a slender young woman dressed in nearly the exact same outfit as my own. Her eyes seemed to have once been adorned with makeup, but it had long since been washed away. Her purple hair was tied into a large ponytail, though it was messy, suggesting it had been done in a hurry.
She stared at the surroundings and with a disparaging frown. "Well, that didn't work. Anna, fix," the woman commanded. She stopped for a moment, noticing my fallen form in front of her. She made the same connection I did: "Are you... me?" Her tone suggested she found the question itself vexing.
I nodded in reply, "I think so," She looked around with a mild sigh. I gazed up at her and did the same, although mine was heavier. "So, why did you come here?"
She leered at me with the same gaze I had used to evaluate her, "I thought I could warn someone, or even find some sort of help..." she paused, as if she wasn't all that sure she should mention it.
I shook my head in commiseration, "Grima." The look on her face spoke volumes, as we realized we were speaking about precisely the same affair.
Her voice cracked when she spoke, as if her whole world had been crushed by that name, "Yeah... Grima." I started to stand up, but she surprised me out of the blue. She offered her hand somberly, "Here, take my hand." I did as she requested and groaned just a bit as she helped me to my feet. "You alright?" she asked, causing me to chuckle in spite of myself.
"You sounded almost like Chrom just now," I explained. Her eyes widened in surprise. I shrugged and guessed, "He's Lord of Ylisse for you too?"
She nodded in confirmation. I lowered my head as she spoke with audible curiosity, "You were going to leave because of Lucina attacking you? ...And everyone else hating you? ...And wanting you to secretly die, right?" I nodded again, glad that it was raining for a felt a few tears slide down my own face. We were well and truly one and the same.
I thought about how it to explain my feelings to my other self, "I doubt you wanted to marry her, though." Her eyes opened wide for a moment as I pulled out the small ring box from my pocket. I rubbed the little fetish almost affectionately.
I heard her step closer, and watched as she stuck her hand out, apparently desiring to see it more closely. I held it out and she took it in her own hands, opening it slowly. "It's beautiful," she gushed over the ring inside, "It looks handmade." She closed the box, but held on to it.
I only shrugged dully in response, "It doesn't mean much. It could be worth trillions of gold and I doubt she'd ever so much as look my way again. I doubt even an eternity of obsecration would earn me any more than a spit in my direction." She glanced away, towards the ocean that bordered the island, then took a few steps closer to the crashing wake, pulling her arm back.
She looked back again briefly, as if to consult me for my permission. I nodded to her weakly. I would never have been able to do it myself, but clinging to false hopes wasn't going to get me any further. She threw it, sending it sailing over the vast expanse of grayish blue. It lingered in the air until it was near the horizon and shortly fell with a tiny splash. "I'm sorry, if it's any consolation," she murmured as she walked back to me, I glanced up at Anna, but it seemed she had already become bored of us, giving us both a rare moment of privacy.
I shrugged, having no idea where to take this conversation, "What about you? You have, or had anyone special?"
She hesitated for a moment, leading me to believe she hadn't thought of it of much. She let out the heaviest sigh of either of us so far, "Trust me there were plenty of requests... Most of them were closer to pipe dreams." She looked skyward, endeavoring to appear to be in deep thought, but I could hear the tears even in her voice, "Chrom... I started to actually like him, but then he went and married Maribelle... Gaius... he made me a pendant, but he married Sumia." She paused with a shake of her head. This was some list.'" Lon'qu... he married Olivia just when I began to think of him as more than a friend," she stopped and laughed morosely, "I even considered Virion, but then he ends up with Sully... at least he's a bit tortured by it. And, as if to drive a stake directly into my hopes, Tharja ended up with Libra... That was how desperate I was for a while."
I shook my head sympathetically, not having expected such a lengthy response. "I didn't really have many options either, but that was because I was so uncertain. I couldn't shake the suspicion that perhaps I had a family elsewhere, a wife and children... I couldn't abandon them, if they existed. You understand." She nodded plainly. I hadn't expected even a parallel version of myself to be quite so much my mirror. "So, I never acted, but then, after two years with no sign of any family, forced to watch everyone else being happily married, I determined I could endure it no longer. So, I finally worked up the gumption to confess my feelings just in time for her to threaten me with death because I murdered her father in the future. So, you could say my luck has been on the down-swing." The woman in front of me stepped forward, drawing closer to me. My mind raced, wondering what she was doing.
Her arms extended outward as she looked at me in a strangely endearing fashion, "None of even your closest friends will come near you, right? You need a shoulder to cry on right now, but you know no one would dare risk it because they fear a nonexistent knife... Well, I could use one too," she mused in a melancholy note that harmonized with the requiem in my own heart. I indulged her, if only for the fact that I had no alternative, no other shoulder in my life. I felt our arms wind around one another, and we stayed in that position for what felt like an hour as time seemed to slow down, making no noise, save a quiet, heaving sob that was drowned out by the rain. Why did this happen to us, I wondered, was it pure, cruel fate we were doomed to endure? Was there no other choice? How many others like us were there? How many had been cursed with his mark, with this existence?
She settled back as we broke the embrace with a quick exhale, seeming to have her demeanor brightened, "Thank you... What's your name, anyway? I'm Lana."
I stared back and smiled with a bit more confidence than I had thought was possible for me at that moment, "Ashur, and thank you as well." I lowered my head for a moment as a thought crossed my mind. "Lana," I began, our eyes locked with one another, "How do you feel about an... alliance of sorts?"
She tilted her head, mulling it over, "You mean, like, work together to resolve our present conflict?" I nodded and she laughed weakly, "I'd love to, but I have no clue how we're going to go about fixing things."
I smiled knowingly and offered her my arm, "Then let's start small. How about we get some dinner? It's late here. We could, you know... compare notes."
She laughed the first mirthful laugh I had heard from her, "All right, but, just so we're clear, this isn't a date, it's strictly business." She took my arm in hers and glanced over at me, telling me I would need to lead this expedition.
I smiled warmly, my first genuine smile in what seemed like days. "Strictly business," I repeated, and the two of us left arm in arm towards the nearest restaurant to dine for the evening.
(A small restaurant – Southtown – Lana)
We had already shared a wealth of conversation by the time we arrived at the restaurant, although the trip was relatively brief, taking only about as much time as it had taken for me to transcend the Outrealm Gate. The town we reached was eerily similar to the Southtown of my world, as I recognized buildings and, more disturbingly, people. We discussed major events: Emmeryn was gone in both our worlds in exactly the same manner, even though Lucina had helped us stop the first assassination attempt. We both had enlisted very similar allies, their names and gender matching precisely, making our most prominent difference a bit of a curiosity. One difference we did note, however insignificant, was in the marriages between our fellow Shepherds.
Ashur further proved himself to be precisely like me: a tactician who had lost his memory, who had joined Chrom and charted a course to victory in two wars alongside him, only to become a complete pariah in the eleventh hour of his tenure among the Shepherds. He had short blonde hair arranged in a sort of set of spikes, and his eyes seemed to be in a near-constant glare, though they would shift every so often. He wore an cloak and outfit that was identical to my own, and his eyes were a mirror of my own red color. There didn't appear to be much difference between us, save our gender and a few minor details. The waitress had dropped off a plate of bear meat and I couldn't help but to gaze upon it and lick my lips lasciviously.
He smiled at my reaction, as I saw he went through the same motion, adding, "I figured you might enjoy this." The two of us started to eat quickly, though we both paused in unison, gripped by the urge to look at the other. It passed quickly and we both shrugged and went back to eating as before, glad to not have to put on airs with one another, given that we were technically the same person.
I dropped my final bone onto the plate just before he did and laughed warmly, "Ha, I win!" He finished the last bit of his a bit slower, wincing just slightly at his defeat as I wiped my mouth with a nearby cloth.
He laughed as he placed the bone on his own plate, "I went easy on you. Plus, in a way, if you won, then so did I," I shook my head, taking a small sip of the ale that I had asked for. It was drier and hung in my throat as it went down. The beverage was something a bit stronger than I was used to, but I felt it proper to get my mind off the pain of my own world.
I placed the cup down, smiling, though I wasn't sure if that was the proper reaction, "I don't think we should act like that, Ashur. It'd get really confusing fast." He nodded in accordance, setting his own drink down. I wondered if we would really compare strategies and the like as he had said, though, to be honest, I was cognizant of the fact that I wasn't in much of a working mood.
His lips curled into an impish little grin, "So, how would you suggest we act towards each other?"
I could swear the words were pointed, and that his tone was something suggestive, but the thought disappeared as something of a much more immediate concern attracted my attention: "Chrom, why are you here?"
The blue-haired man who stood just a few steps away from our table shook his head in confusion, his eyes jumping back and forth between the two of us, gazing in astonishment, as if each of us had two heads. His clothes were not the proper and shimmering vestments of the exalt, but were reminiscent of the clothes he had worn in the days before Emmeryn had had her fall, suggesting he had dressed himself in a hurried panic to find his comrade. "I came to find you. I thought... I thought you might have been considering doing something... unwise." Ashur simply shrugged, as seemed to be his habit.
In the next moment, however, he bowed his head like a dog acknowledging that it had made a mistake, "It had crossed my mind Chrom. I... I instead chose to go to the gate, to just get away. It seems fate had other plans, however, as that's how I met Lana, here." He gestured towards me and rubbed the back of his head dryly, straining with discomfort, "She's, like, me from a whole other realm... A different version of our own time."
For a second I swore I could hear Chrom mumble a curse under his breath, "So you mean to tell me there are two of you now?" the exalt rolled his eyes, "That's just great. I'm sure the other Shepherds will be positively ecstatic." There was enough sarcasm in Chrom's single sentence to fill an ocean.
Ashur reacted differently than I had expected. He folded his arms on the table and spat measuredly, "Fuck them, Chrom."
Chrom's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Evidently, he hadn't been expecting that either, "What?" Chrom's look of disbelief was matched only by my own.
Ashur stabbed a glare into his worried friend, "I said, 'Fuck them, Chrom.' They don't give a shit about me. And spare me your usual tripe about them needing time or the power of trust, or any of that. They want me dead. Deader than a Risen dead," Ashur stood with a great noise and jabbed his finger at the door, "How do I know if I sleep in the barracks tonight I won't get my throat silt? How do I know someone won't threaten me in claimed defense of you? Give me one reason to suspect they'll take me and I'll come running back."
Chrom paused, creasing his brow like a father dealing with his impatient child, "Trust them?" If I hadn't been so shocked by the exchange happening before my eyes, I might have dropped my head onto the table laughing.
Ashur stepped closer to Chrom, thrusting his finger into his chest with a scathing bitterness, "Trust? How can I? Do they trust me? How many more of them are out looking for me right now? Without you ordering them, mind you. Did they ever once consider how torturous it was to hear them speak every moment into your ear about how I wasn't to be trusted, about how you needed to distance yourself from me for your own safety? Tell me, Chrom: How can I trust a group of people I've heard calling for my head?!" Those final words, delivered in a guttural shout, stuck in my mind. Had the Shepherds of my own world harbored similar plans? Chrom's face twisted into dejection. Clearly this was something he had made a concerted effort to hide from Ashur.
Chrom opened his mouth in to speak, then closed it again with a small shake of his head and a weak sigh, "I told them no, I hope you know that."
Ashur nodded simply and sat back down. He gestured vaguely about an open seat, as to offer the young lord a seat. To our mutual surprise, he took it. "Listen Chrom," Ashur made sure he still got in the first word, "I'm not going within fifty yards of the barracks. I don't mind sleeping at an inn or two, so long as no one knows which one." Chrom bowed his head in accedence of Ashur's request. The blond man continued, "I'll continue working, but Lana and I have considered turning this into a joint venture, of sorts."
Chrom turned to face me, sizing me up at a glance. I spoke more from a drive to not remain speechless during the entire exchange, and because both of them looked at me expectantly, "Right, I would need to discuss it with my Chrom, but, perhaps if we combine our Shepherds' might, we can solve all of our dragon problems." "My Chrom." There was a phrase I'd never expected to use.
Chrom took another look at me to make his decision, then shortly nodded in approval, "If Ashur believes it can work, then I'll trust his judgment. I'm willing to aid your Shepherds if they'll do the same for me." Ashur gave him a small pat on the back and a whisper of "Thanks." Chrom, seeming markedly less pleased about the entire exchange, stood and took a few steps away before adding, "Ash." Ashur looked up towards him and, judging by the young man's expression, the next words from the blue-haired man surprised us equally, "I think, if had things been different, You'd have made her very happy," Chrom walked out and Ashur buried his face in the remainder of his tankard of ale.
He ordered another with a sigh, "Let's plan things out more tomorrow. Tonight... tonight I just need a drink. How about you?" I raised my tankard, as had he with his refilled one, they clanged together loudly and we drank till late in the night. A thought constantly pestered my subconscious, however: how would things work out between us? Why had I even had that thought? Was there an "us?"
Well, how was it? Good, bad, depressing? You tell me for I love reviews, Guest reviews are allowed but, I won't be able to answer them in PMs. So sign up or sign in beforehand okay?
Also to make things a bit easier, here is the specs for the two avatars if you were to design them in game.
Lana: Build 3, Face 5, Hair 4, Hair color 8, and Japanese Fem voice 1.
Ashur: Build 1, Face 5, Hair 5, Hair color 17, and Japanese male voice 2.
So that's there if you want to actually see the way they look. =3
Anyway, I guess that is that, Anyway, Follow, Fav and review if you want.
With a tear in my eye,
Lana Bloodmoon =3