Disclaimer: I really wish I owned this stuff, but I don't alas what shall I do…I know I'll write fan fiction, and put this little thing called a disclaimer on it.

A/N: My friend I are doing this movie about pirates, and this is one of the ideas we had, but we didn't want to use other peoples ideas, so I wrote this up instead. Enjoy.

Abel looked around the black ship deck confused. Dirty men scurried around everywhere. The father crinkled his nose. The men smelled of sweat, salt, dirt and…RUM.

A waved washed over the side of the ship soaking the father from head to toe. He sighed; wiping his glasses on his dripping robs. He was in no condition to meet the Pope now. He was already late, and this wasn't Rome!

Someone tapped on the father's shoulder. He turned to see a man in with a red bandana and captions hat on. "And who might you be," asked the man.

"Oh," said Abel surprised at being addressed so bluntly. "My names Father Abel Nightroad. I was wondering if you knew"

"Gents," shouted the man waving around his dirty bottle, "we have a stow away!"

The flurry of movement on the deck halted instantly, everyone starred at Abel. "Well I think stow away is a little harsh. I'm just trying to reach Rome."

"Are you not on the ship of the great Captain Jack Sparrow," asked the man.

"Yes," said Abel. "But I really just want to get to Rome."

"And are you not on said ship of the said great Captain Jack Sparrow with out said permission."

"Well yes," continued Abel. "But like I said before,"

"And since you are on the said ship of the said great Captain Jack Sparrow with out said captain's permission thus you are a said stow away."

"If I could just speak to this Captain," pleaded Abel, a little confused, and more than a little more this man was drunk

"Great," interrupted the man, "the great Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Great Captain, if I could just speak to this Great Captain Jack Sparrow I'm sure we could work out this whole situation. Like I said before I'm just trying to get to Rome."

"Arg," said another man in the holey father's ear. "That be the' great Captain Jack Sparrow ye' be talk'n to."

"Here, here," said Sparrow.

Abel sighed. "Please Captain if I could just get a ride to Rome I'd be eternally great full."

"He wants to go to this Rome boys," said the captain turning and heading back toward his quarters, "through him over board then."

"I, I" yelled the crew.

"Wait," shouted Abel. "There are sharks in the water and it's cold. Surely you wouldn't through a father of holy nature like myself in the water with them."

Sparrow stopped and turned, a smile appearing on his face. "Swim fast."

The father's face dropped. Sh…sh…sharks and the cold! How would he survive?

"And bring some more rum," shouted Sparrow as more men grabbed Abel and hauled him over to the side of the boat. The water looked cold, really cold.

"Release him," said another voice, followed by the clicking of a gun. Jack turned to see the barrel of a pistol pointed directly between his eyes. "Release Father Nightroad at once."

"Tres, I didn't know you were here as well," said the scared father.

"Release Father Nightroad," repeated Tres.

"Now, now, no need to get messy," said Sparrow patting Tres on the shoulder. "I'm sure me and Father Four Eyes can work something out. After all I am the great Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Positive, you will release Father Nightroad and escort him to Rome."

"Here here," cheered Jack, "bring some more rum gents, we have guests on board"

"Negative," continued Tres, "no rum will be drunken while Father Nightroad is on board."

"Throw 'em over board gents." Tres's gun barrel clicked again, still firmly planted between Jack's eyes. "Wait," his face made a horrible grimace, "no rum while Four Eyes is on board." The whole crew erupted in disdain.

And thus a deal was struck that the Great Captain Jack Sparrow, who liked to say his name a lot, would escort Abel Nightroad and Tres to Rome, and to the hatred of the whole ship, that no rum would be drunken while they were on bored.

A/N: I don't know if I'm going to make this a one shot or not. If I get a lot of good reviews then I might keep it going. But it'll just be a collection of odd stories with no point or anything.