Grocery Shopping

"Sonic, could you run to the store real fast?" Amy asked.

"Of course," he replied. The spiny speeder was gone and back in a second. "Now what?"

"No," she corrected, giggling and handing him a list, "I mean could you, Shadow, and Knuckles go to the store and get some things?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure, I guess. C'mon guys," he answered, calling the black hedgehog and echidna, who were lazily sitting on the couch.

His gaze never leaving the TV, Shadow groaned, "Do we have to?"

"Well, judging by what's on this list, if we don't go, we don't eat."

"Let's go."

Once at the store, Sonic suggested, glancing at the list, "Okay, guys, split up. Shadow, you get the burger meat, Knuckles, you get the apples, and since I'm the fastest, I'll get the rest. Then we'll meet back here. Go!" The blue blur took off, dropping the slip of paper.

"Showoff," Knuckles mumbled, picking it up.

In the meat aisle, Shadow found himself utterly confused.

"Burger meat…burger meat," he muttered to himself. "I don't see any burger meat." Seeing a rather old and wise looking echidna who looked as if he knew at least something, if not everything, Shadow decided to ask him, "What's burger meat anyway?"

"Kids these days," the echidna muttered, "They never seem to know anything anymore." Turning into a slight yell, he added, "What, do they not teach anything in school nowadays?"

"Well, uh--"

"Son, it's time you learned the truth: Hamburgers are dead cows!"

Throwing his arms in the air, Shadow wondered aloud, "Then what am I doing looking here?"

Sonic looked up and down the drink aisle, also confused by the many brands and varieties. He pulled out a cell phone and called Amy.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Yeah, the list said coke, but what kind of coke do you want?"

"Uh, Coke."

"I know. That's what I was told, but what kind?"

"Coke!"

"Yeah, but what kind?!"

"Rouge, is something burning? I've gotta go, Sonic. Just pick one."

"No! Wait! Amy!" she hung up. Sonic felt something tickling his hand. Looking at it, he found a fly that was huge beyond all reason, which he shook off. Strangely enough, it fell to the floor, where the blue hedgehog stepped on it and wiped off the bottom of his shoe. He stared blankly at his selection.

Finding the apples, Knuckles grabbed a plastic fruit bag. A lady with a baby in her cart that had a piercing stare saw how hard a time he was having opening the bag, offering, "Do you need some help?"

"No, I've got it." However, the more he failed to open it and the more the baby stared, the more frustrated he became. Finally, after he had mutilated the bag, he grabbed another one and tapped the lady on the shoulder, asking, "Could you help a guy with no fingers out?"

"Here," she said, handing him an already open bag.

"Um, thanks." As he examined each apple and placed it in the bag, he felt something like a grape bounce off his head. He turned around, but the only one behind him was the ever-staring baby, which now had its thumb in its mouth.

Turning back to his work, he was hit in the head with an orange. The short tempered echidna whipped around, but found nobody but the blankly staring baby. He turned around, then twirled back around to see the baby throw a watermelon in his face.

"You!" he screamed, getting up and throwing an apple at the evil child. Just before the red fruit struck her offspring, its mother snatched the apple out of the air, and, throwing it back at Knuckles, proceeded to beat him with her purse. After a good pounding, the protective mother then pulled out some mace and gave the now purple-and-red echidna a good spray in the face.

"That oughta teach you for trying to harm my baby!" she huffed, leaving Knuckles in howling agony on the floor.