Fairy Tale
September 3, 2002
Diviana Foresman
***
Trowa's point of view
***
After all those years of being alone, I had come up with the idea that perhaps there was someone, somewhere out there, waiting for me. They'd be perfect and we'd fit together perfectly. I had come up with this idea that I was wanted, needed, by someone else who I wanted and needed just as badly.
It's funny really, that I had put myself in the shoes of some fairy-tale being, a cursed prince waiting for his princess to free him so that we could run away together and live happily ever after. Imagine that. I used to laugh at myself for thinking such things. For believing that someone was waiting for me in a way I couldn't think was possible. This someone who would take away my pain, make it all worth it.
But then, I realized this was exactly what was.
I never thought I would fall in love with a boy. After living with men for my entire life, I had thought there was nothing I wanted more than a woman. One with blonde hair, blue eyes, very slender. This was the description I had from all the other mercenaries, what women really were. Of course, I had forgotten about Midii, but in my mind, she wasn't a woman, only another soldier. And I knew I could never love a soldier.
But Quatre, he is a soldier. One with blonde hair, blue eyes and a tiny waist. And he is the princess that this prince has waited for for so many years.
When we first met, on Earth in battle, he called out to me, begging me to understand that he didn't want to fight me. He didn't want to hurt me. We weren't meant to fight each other, and that was when I knew that this was the person I had asked the stars for so many times. Quatre came out, crying, asking me to understand.
I remember thinking that it was he who did not understand. And so I came out, hands raised in a gesture of surrender. I almost smiled as he told me to put them down; he was the one to come out first, I was the one who had won the battle between us. No, he did not understand. I wasn't thinking about the battle. I was thinking about him, me, us. I was surrendering myself to him, something I had never done before.
I attempted to elaborate this that night, in a house nearby that Quatre's family owned. A number of his sisters lived there, and with them, the servants and the Maganaks, there was not enough rooms to go around. I ended up sharing a bedroom with Quatre. We stood on the balcony, him in only a thin white shirt that he likes to wear to bed, and I in a green turtleneck and stonewashed jeans.
~~~
The princess was leaning over the railing, talking about something or another as he looked at the stars. If I try hard enough, I can remember his words, but I'd rather not. The picture he gave me is worth more than any word he could speak. Quatre asked me what I thought and I uncharacteristically blurted out something. I can't remember my words even if I try, but Quatre turned to look at me, his expression unreadable. Then he smiled.
"Come, it's getting late." he said simply. I followed him back inside, closing the balcony doors behind me. Quatre sat on the bed, pulling the thick covers around to rearrange them a bit before he spoke again. "Come to bed," he called, patting the bed beside him. I did as he wished, and he smiled. "It's not good to wear jeans to bed, silly, take them off." Again, I did as he asked, leaving them in a pile on the floor. "Are these the only clothes you have?"
"Yes," I had replied, watching him and not caring about anything else. Quatre smiled again.
"Then take off your shirt as well." he said, getting up to cross over to my side and picking up my jeans. I handed him my shirt and he went into the connecting bathroom to drop them down the laundry chute. "They'll be clean for you in the morning," Quatre explained, sliding beneath the blanket again. I nodded and thanked him, to which he smiled again.
~~~
I close my eyes, remembering that night. I had told him my reasons for surrendering, to which he smiled and nodded like it was no big deal. But it was. What I had done, surrending to him, was unthinkable. Especially in my mind.
Never giving up and never giving in meant never surrendering. That was what I had grown up knowing. It was better to die in battle than to be captured. But it was too late. Quatre, my Quatre, had already taken my heart hostage. And he holds it still.
I suppose I know now that he had felt the same way. Ashamed, taken back, cornered by the feelings he had for me, and now our relationship goes on with few hitches. But in the beginning, it was not so.
~~~
"I have a mission. I'll be back in a while. It won't take more than a day." Quatre told me. I replied with the suggestion I go in his place. Instead of compromising our paired mission, the angel clenched his teeth. "Honestly, Trowa! You all act as if I am five years old! I'm a Gundam pilot, not a child! Quit treating me as I were!" he yelled.
I immediately shrunk back, swallowing. Rashid was sure to hear him, storm in and kick me out. "It's a simple mission, Trowa," Quatre said softer, "I can handle it."
I nod, "I will be waiting for you."
"I'm sorry I snapped," the Arabian said quietly. "I didn't mean to yell at you, Trowa,"
"I understand."
"No, you don't. Trowa, why do you do this to yourself?"
"Do what?"
"You always agree with or apologize to everyone. It's not right."
"You're right. I'm sorry." Quatre shook his head, gold bangs waving gently before his aqua eyes.
"I'll come back for you, Trowa, I promise."
~~~
I could always find it within myself to forgive him of whatever misdeeds he managed to do. Even when he attacked Heero and me, I never held it against him. I know he feels the same about me, always assuring me a mistake was a mistake and should be taken lightly. But I also know neither of us can forgive ourselves for anything we've done against each other.
Oftimes, Quatre will ask if I remembered him in the time when I knew nothing. I did, slightly, and I tell him that. He smiles sadly whenever I do, and then goes on about how I shouldn't love him the way I do because he didn't deserve it for what he did. I say the same when other facts come up.
I am nothing but a nameless soldier, worth nothing but the mission's completion. That is what I was taught, what I believe. But Quatre doesn't believe that. He says he doesn't care about my past, he loves me for who I am and not for who I ever was. I cannot understand why he would ever say something like that. Who could ever love a nobody like me?
But he feels the same way, at least, that is what he says. And I have come to trust him when he talks about feelings - something I'm not accustomed to. My Quatre thinks that, supposedly, I deserve better than what he can give. I do not agree. It is he who deserves more than I. I am nothing, and yet, he is everything...
And yet, to each other we are everything. I suppose then, this is what happily ever after truly means, and perhaps this fairy tale will have a sequal, but as long as this prince and princess live together, it matters not. After all, we are everything that matters to each other.
***
owari
***
The cute couple belong to Sunrise, and so does everything else in the Gundam Wing series, but this fic belongs to me and only me.
September 3, 2002
Diviana Foresman
***
Trowa's point of view
***
After all those years of being alone, I had come up with the idea that perhaps there was someone, somewhere out there, waiting for me. They'd be perfect and we'd fit together perfectly. I had come up with this idea that I was wanted, needed, by someone else who I wanted and needed just as badly.
It's funny really, that I had put myself in the shoes of some fairy-tale being, a cursed prince waiting for his princess to free him so that we could run away together and live happily ever after. Imagine that. I used to laugh at myself for thinking such things. For believing that someone was waiting for me in a way I couldn't think was possible. This someone who would take away my pain, make it all worth it.
But then, I realized this was exactly what was.
I never thought I would fall in love with a boy. After living with men for my entire life, I had thought there was nothing I wanted more than a woman. One with blonde hair, blue eyes, very slender. This was the description I had from all the other mercenaries, what women really were. Of course, I had forgotten about Midii, but in my mind, she wasn't a woman, only another soldier. And I knew I could never love a soldier.
But Quatre, he is a soldier. One with blonde hair, blue eyes and a tiny waist. And he is the princess that this prince has waited for for so many years.
When we first met, on Earth in battle, he called out to me, begging me to understand that he didn't want to fight me. He didn't want to hurt me. We weren't meant to fight each other, and that was when I knew that this was the person I had asked the stars for so many times. Quatre came out, crying, asking me to understand.
I remember thinking that it was he who did not understand. And so I came out, hands raised in a gesture of surrender. I almost smiled as he told me to put them down; he was the one to come out first, I was the one who had won the battle between us. No, he did not understand. I wasn't thinking about the battle. I was thinking about him, me, us. I was surrendering myself to him, something I had never done before.
I attempted to elaborate this that night, in a house nearby that Quatre's family owned. A number of his sisters lived there, and with them, the servants and the Maganaks, there was not enough rooms to go around. I ended up sharing a bedroom with Quatre. We stood on the balcony, him in only a thin white shirt that he likes to wear to bed, and I in a green turtleneck and stonewashed jeans.
~~~
The princess was leaning over the railing, talking about something or another as he looked at the stars. If I try hard enough, I can remember his words, but I'd rather not. The picture he gave me is worth more than any word he could speak. Quatre asked me what I thought and I uncharacteristically blurted out something. I can't remember my words even if I try, but Quatre turned to look at me, his expression unreadable. Then he smiled.
"Come, it's getting late." he said simply. I followed him back inside, closing the balcony doors behind me. Quatre sat on the bed, pulling the thick covers around to rearrange them a bit before he spoke again. "Come to bed," he called, patting the bed beside him. I did as he wished, and he smiled. "It's not good to wear jeans to bed, silly, take them off." Again, I did as he asked, leaving them in a pile on the floor. "Are these the only clothes you have?"
"Yes," I had replied, watching him and not caring about anything else. Quatre smiled again.
"Then take off your shirt as well." he said, getting up to cross over to my side and picking up my jeans. I handed him my shirt and he went into the connecting bathroom to drop them down the laundry chute. "They'll be clean for you in the morning," Quatre explained, sliding beneath the blanket again. I nodded and thanked him, to which he smiled again.
~~~
I close my eyes, remembering that night. I had told him my reasons for surrendering, to which he smiled and nodded like it was no big deal. But it was. What I had done, surrending to him, was unthinkable. Especially in my mind.
Never giving up and never giving in meant never surrendering. That was what I had grown up knowing. It was better to die in battle than to be captured. But it was too late. Quatre, my Quatre, had already taken my heart hostage. And he holds it still.
I suppose I know now that he had felt the same way. Ashamed, taken back, cornered by the feelings he had for me, and now our relationship goes on with few hitches. But in the beginning, it was not so.
~~~
"I have a mission. I'll be back in a while. It won't take more than a day." Quatre told me. I replied with the suggestion I go in his place. Instead of compromising our paired mission, the angel clenched his teeth. "Honestly, Trowa! You all act as if I am five years old! I'm a Gundam pilot, not a child! Quit treating me as I were!" he yelled.
I immediately shrunk back, swallowing. Rashid was sure to hear him, storm in and kick me out. "It's a simple mission, Trowa," Quatre said softer, "I can handle it."
I nod, "I will be waiting for you."
"I'm sorry I snapped," the Arabian said quietly. "I didn't mean to yell at you, Trowa,"
"I understand."
"No, you don't. Trowa, why do you do this to yourself?"
"Do what?"
"You always agree with or apologize to everyone. It's not right."
"You're right. I'm sorry." Quatre shook his head, gold bangs waving gently before his aqua eyes.
"I'll come back for you, Trowa, I promise."
~~~
I could always find it within myself to forgive him of whatever misdeeds he managed to do. Even when he attacked Heero and me, I never held it against him. I know he feels the same about me, always assuring me a mistake was a mistake and should be taken lightly. But I also know neither of us can forgive ourselves for anything we've done against each other.
Oftimes, Quatre will ask if I remembered him in the time when I knew nothing. I did, slightly, and I tell him that. He smiles sadly whenever I do, and then goes on about how I shouldn't love him the way I do because he didn't deserve it for what he did. I say the same when other facts come up.
I am nothing but a nameless soldier, worth nothing but the mission's completion. That is what I was taught, what I believe. But Quatre doesn't believe that. He says he doesn't care about my past, he loves me for who I am and not for who I ever was. I cannot understand why he would ever say something like that. Who could ever love a nobody like me?
But he feels the same way, at least, that is what he says. And I have come to trust him when he talks about feelings - something I'm not accustomed to. My Quatre thinks that, supposedly, I deserve better than what he can give. I do not agree. It is he who deserves more than I. I am nothing, and yet, he is everything...
And yet, to each other we are everything. I suppose then, this is what happily ever after truly means, and perhaps this fairy tale will have a sequal, but as long as this prince and princess live together, it matters not. After all, we are everything that matters to each other.
***
owari
***
The cute couple belong to Sunrise, and so does everything else in the Gundam Wing series, but this fic belongs to me and only me.