It was late. She knew it was late. The only sounds in the usually loud common room was the crackling of the fire. She couldn't tell if the fire was dying or if the sun was starting to rise.
She didn't care.
She didn't care that her head was aching from crying. She didn't care that her face was probably stained red. She didn't care that her hair looked like a wild mane. She didn't care because she had just lost her best friend.
Severus Snape.
Most people saw a pale, almost sickly, greasy haired boy that loved the dark arts more than he ought to. But not Lily Evans. She saw past his cover. She saw him as the 9 year old boy that had showed her the magical world. She saw the boy whose drunken father pushed him around. She saw the friend who spoke to her in their secret language. She'd seen him cry, she'd seen him laugh, and she'd seen him hide.
And really, it's the hiding that everyone saw. He hid behind dark arts to seem powerful. To seem like he had control over what happened to him.
But today turned out to be terrible. Today she discovered the truth of her best friend. Sev forgot that he was supposed to only be hiding behind the dark arts. He forgot his promise to her. He became the façade he was hiding behind.
And she had defended him! Defended him much longer than she would have defended anyone else. BECAUSE HE HAD PROMISED her. He had promised her that he wouldn't really become involved in the dark arts. He promised that being a muggleborn didn't mean anything, at least not to him. She had tried to open other's eyes to who he really was. But today, on this wretchedly horrible sunshiny day, her eyes were opened. What everyone had said about him was completely true. And now she had no best friend.
No one to stump in potions.
No one to show up in charms.
No one to tease in the library.
No one share all these inside jokes with.
If only he had died instead. It's an awful thing to think. But dying is better than betrayal.
'Stop thinking about him' she thought trying to gain control. 'Stop crying over someone who chose power over you.'
She sighed, and wiped her tears away with her sleeve. She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. The comfy red couch squishing beneath her. She could feel the time pass, but she couldn't tell if it was fast or slow. She didn't know how long she just sat there staring. Staring at the fire, staring at her blue flannel pajama pants. Staring at anything that could keep her attention.
When she heard someone coming down from the boy's dormitories, she hadn't a clue what time it was, just early in the morning. It had been the sun rising that gave the fire less of a glow. She must have looked an awful mess.
She didn't care.
"Evans." His voice was calm, not at all surprised to see her awake. Careful not to look directly at him, she turned to check the clock on the wall. 4:48. 4:48 in the morning. History of Magic OWL was going to be a nightmare.
"Potter." She said, still not looking at him, but slightly surprised how scratchy her voice came out. From the corner of her eye she could see him fiddling with his wand. He walked over, sitting next to her on the couch, minding his space though, thankfully.
"Water?" he asked holding a glass out toward her. She stared at the glass for a good tewelve seconds before smirking and taking the glass from him. Classic Potter. Transfiguring a glass of water for the "lady in distress." They sat in silence as she sipped her water. She could feel his uneasiness of the situation.
"I'm sorry." She said to break the silence.
"You're sorry?" he sounded a bit shocked. Well, he should be, causing a scene that split up best friends, and here she was apologizing. She sighed. It wasn't his fault Sev became a traitor to their friendship. "What're you sorry for? I'm the one who- y'know…" he trailed off.
"I must have yelled at you a thousand times. Millions of times trying to convince you that all Slytherines weren't all dark arts gits. And yet, here we are, 4:48 in the morning awkwardly sitting here. Trying to avoid the obvious "I told you so" that should be permanently stuck to the back of my hand, or something. Turns out, you were right the whole time. I'm sorry for it all." It stung her to say it, especially out loud, and especially to James Potter of all people. But it was true right? With Voldemort traipsing around with his pureblood propaganda. Maybe in a different time she had a chance of being right. But not now. Not today. He must not have been expecting that because he stayed unusually quiet for a while before saying,
"I'm sorry too." She looked at him for the first time since leaving the lake earlier that day. He ran his hand through his hair. "I didn't mean for him to say that to you. I didn't-" he paused. "I mean, I know I can be a bit of a prat. But I didn't mean to end your friendship- well, yeah, I mean- I did but not that way. Not like this, not for you to be so upset about it."
She didn't have it in her to get angry with him. She just stared at him as he rambled on.
"He wasn't supposed to say that. It was completely uncalled for. And you know, I've been saying it for years now, you're better than the likes of him, you don't need a soon-to-be death eater in your life. You're just too good to be brought down by that. And another thing-"
"I know James." She cut him off before he got too passionate in his usual tirade about her inter-house friendship.
"Er. Right. Of course you know."
They were silent for a while. Just watching the flames have less and less of a flicker with the morning light filtering in. Twisting the water glass in her hands, she looked at him and said,
"I think it's time for you to stop asking me out James." He looked at her strangely. She didn't blame him. It was an odd thing to say, especially right now. "But I could use a good friend right about now."
She smiled at him. A sad smile, but a genuine one. He smiled back, hardly suppressing a grin he replied,
"I think I can do friend." He stood up, and patted her on the shoulder, for what she could only assume was supposed to be for comfort, and walked back toward the stair case for his dormitory. But turned back as he was about to start up the stairs and said,
"At least for now, anyway." He winked and then turned to run up the stairs.
Shaking her head at his playfulness, she picked herself up from the couch knowing it was time to, at the very least, get herself together for the day to come. She smiled and she made her way to her own set of stairs.
Friends, for now, would be just fine with her.