"You have a visitor," the Salarian nurse informed him warmly, before ducking back out into the hallway.

A visitor? For a brief moment butterflies fluttered in his stomach, but before he could even register his hope that Shepard had come to visit him, Liara walked into the room.

"Liara, hey," he said, shifting up into a sitting position and wincing slightly.

"Kaidan," she smiled. "How are you?"

"I feel like I've had my head smashed in, but other than that... I'm fine."

"Shepard was really worried about you. We all were, but Shepard more so."

"Well, tell him thanks, but... He doesn't have to worry about me."

"Tell him yourself."

"How can I, when he hasn't been to see me?" Kaidan pointed out, trying not to sound as hurt as he felt. Just because he was still holding a grudge against Shepard for working with Cerberus, didn't mean he didn't still care about him. But maybe Shepard didn't care about him.

"He's been here almost every day," Liara told him, taking his hand in hers. She squeezed it lightly. "He always found a reason to return to the Citadel in between missions, and he'd sit with you for hours. Now that you're awake, though, he isn't sure if he's welcome."

Kaidan stared at her. "Shepard..." He cleared his throat. "Shepard was here?"

She nodded. "After every mission. Talking to you, sitting with you... He was afraid of losing you."

"Yeah," Kaidan agreed thickly. "It's tough losing someone on your watch." He knew how it felt leaving Ash on Virmire as a friend; he could only imagine how much more devastating it had been for Shepard as her CO.

But Liara shook her head. "It was more than that. He's lost people before. But he's never had to face losing you."

"He risked losing me - losing everyone - on Feros, on Therum, Noveria, Virmire, Ilos..."

"But you always made it back," Liara pointed out. "Your barriers held, and the worst you got back to the Normandy with was a migraine."

"Facing your mother's commandos on Noveria laid me out for days," he remembered.

"You held your own against them," she told him. "I was impressed."

He shrugged off her praise. "One of the benefits of being an L2. Most of the time I think it makes the migraines worth it."

"You're strong. It's why Shepard's drawn to you."

Drawn to him? Kaidan's brow creased as he processed her words.

When he didn't comment on her observation, she pushed a little harder. "It's obvious you care about him."

Kaidan swallowed. "He's a good friend," he said, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want to strain his friendships with Liara and Shepard over feelings he'd barely begun to acknowledge.

"It's more than that."

Colour filled his cheeks. "But, the two of you... You and him..." He swallowed. "I'd never come between that."

"That was a long time ago, Kaidan. I was young, swept off my feet by the human soldier who saved my life. Melding our minds forced a sense of intimacy upon us that, back then, we mistook for attraction." She tried to look indifferent, but her cheeks turned a darker shade of blue revealing her embarrassment. "My infatuation with him didn't help."

"But... When Shepard came back... I heard you were close."

"I won't lie to you, Kaidan. After we reunited on Illium and took down the Shadow Broker we did sleep together, for old times sake. But I think by then we both knew it wasn't serious. Working with strangers for so long, he was seeking some familiarity."

Jealousy churned in Kaidan's stomach, and he fought to keep the hurt off his face.

"He had Garrus at that point, yes, but he had never been as close to him as he had been to you and I," she continued. "What was years for us must have only felt like a few weeks to him, and he was forced into working with an organisation he hated, with people he didn't know, while the closest person he had to a best friend had rejected him..."

He visibly flinched at the bluntness of Liara's words.

"He needed comfort. Needed someone." She shrugged. "I just happened to be there. But it was never love."

"Who said anything about love?"

Liara smiled knowingly. "Why do you think it bothers you so that Shepard worked with Cerberus?"

"You saw what they did with the rachni and the creepers - how they abandoned their own scientists. They killed Admiral Kahoku!"

"And you saw what the Alliance and the Council did about the Collectors - nothing. Cerberus tried to use Shepard, but he used them. His loyalty has always lain with the Alliance. As for his heart..."

Kaidan's own heart was in his mouth, then, waiting for her to finish her sentence. He couldn't deny that he felt something for Shepard, but he'd never allowed himself to dwell on his feelings as he'd never believed it possible that they would - or could, given that personal relationships among crew members were prohibited - be returned. Maybe that was insecurity, though. After all, if anyone knew Shepard as well, or better than, Kaidan did, surely it would be Liara?

"Well," she continued. "I had my suspicions, but it wasn't until Mars that I realised just how deep his feelings for you run - though I'm not sure even he realises it. He carried you back to the Normandy, and seeing you unconscious... I don't think I've ever seen him so scared."

Kaidan considered this for a long moment. Liara didn't know for certain, but believed it enough that she felt safe in telling him. If he probed Shepard about his feelings, and was rejected, he could always apologise later and blame it on his medication.

"Message him," Liara urged him. "Let him know that's it's okay to come and see you."

"I... Maybe," he conceded with a sigh.

Her eyes softened and, as silence fell between them, she glanced out the window overlooking the Presidium. "I want to visit the Commons before I have to be back on the Normandy, but I'll be sure to visit next time we're here." She smirked. "Knowing Shepard, it won't be long."

Kaidan watched Liara leave, remarking, not for the first time, how much she'd grown up over the past few years.

A moment after she'd left, the nurse returned. "Time for another scan," she told him.

He turned his face away from her, allowing her access to his implant. "Have I had any other visitors?" he asked her suddenly.

"Other than the asari?" she clarified, her omni-tool humming as she swept it across the back of his neck. "Just one. A rather handsome man. I think he was one of the ones who brought you in."

Shepard.

"Did he..." Kaidan swallowed. "Did he say anything?"

"Not to us," she said pointedly, tapping him on the shoulder to let him know she was done.

He turned back to look at her.

"He seemed very determined that you should fight, though." She paused, then smiled. "Someone special?"

He hesitated before replying. Shepard was special, but not necessarily in the way the nurse was implying. "I don't know," he admitted.

She said nothing more, and left him in peace.

Kaidan stared out the window long after the nurse had left, oblivious to the world outside his room as he debated whether or not to send Shepard a message. Finally coming to a decision, he activated his omni-tool and started to type.

Hey Shepard,

Through some combination of a medical miracle and dumb luck, I survived the beating I took on Mars. The doctors say I'm still not ready to be released, but I'd really like to see you if you can spare the time.

He re-read his message. He wasn't specific, because he didn't want to scare Shepard off before he even got here. But then, he didn't want to be so vague that Shepard might not come. Though, Liara had implied that he wanted to... He began type again.

Councilor Udina offered to make me a Spectre. Still thinking about whether or not I should accept. Stop by my room at the hospital when you're on the Citadel. I'd like your advice.

Thanks,
Kaidan

There. That gave him a reason to come. He clicked 'send', and settled back down on the bed. Now all he had to do was wait.