This is quite possibly the weirdest thing I've written. I started writing it on a whim, and it ended up actually turning into a really neat idea in my mind. I only got ~800 words on the paper, cus I didn't want to waste a ton of time on something I wasn't sure I'd even post, but I think it's a good 800. Anyway, this is a crossover with Doki Doki Literature Club and Highschool DxD, and no, I'm not sorry. Really, this should be going in the crossover archive, but the DDLC archive is super dead and filled with self-inserts, so I'll just leave it here. Read it if you want, don't if you don't, simple as that.

If you do read it, let me know what you think, and it's possible I could keep it going. The chapters would be like 1k each, cus I can't spare the time to write on this random fic while I can't even write for my main one, His Angel.

Basically, it's a "what if" type fic where Monika, president of the Literature Club in DDLC, takes Rias' place as a high-class devil at Kuoh Academy, with the other Literature Club members as her peerage. The entire ORC is absent from the story, save for Issei of course.

This was just kind of rotting in my docs, so I figured I'd throw it up and see what people think, just for the lulz. Anyway, that's all I've got, if you have questions just leave a review or PM me.

"Ugh, Sayori, wake up!" A boy yelled, tugging at the covers on a bed.

"Huh?" Sayori, the bed's current resident, said confusedly, sitting up. Her pink hair stuck out in weird ways; she'd slept on it wrong.

"Come on, Sayori, you're late again!" The boy said, exasperated. He took her by the hand and pulled her out of the bed, then wrenched open the room's blinds once she was standing. The sunlight poured in on her face, making the poor girl wince and cover her eyes.

"What...what time is it?" Sayori asked, yawning.

"Time for you to get up. We've got to be at school in ten minutes." The boy replied, trying to fix her hair with his hands.

After an exaggerated yawn, Sayori giggled. "You're like a mom, Issei."

Issei Hyoudou blushed. He ignored the comment and kept trying to fix her hair, only to stop and sigh. "You left your bow in again. You're not...you aren't depressed again, are you?" The boy asked, looking his oldest friend square in her blue eyes.

Sayori almost always wore a cute little red bow in her hair, and she'd left it in overnight, a sign she wasn't taking good care of herself. Lack of self-care was a sign and symptom of depression, which Sayori had dealt with before. Issei was always on the lookout for her well-being, so of course he'd be worried about her bow.

"No, silly, I'm fine. I just had a busy night, is all." Sayori said, pushing Issei's hands away and fixing her hair right.

"Club business again?"

"Yep."

"Crazy how a literature club works so far into the night."

"Isn't it?"

"So what were you doing?"

"Literature stuff."

"In the middle of the night?"

"Mhmm. Occult literature stuff. It requires darkness, hiss..." Sayori said, holding her arm in front of her face like a vampire shielding themselves with a cape.

Issei stared her down for a moment, then burst into laughter. He couldn't help it; she was too cute. "Okay, Count Sayori. Let's go have breakfast. Or would you prefer blood?"

"Cereal will do for this Count, servant. Make it so, hiss."

"Let's go, pinky."

The two of them were well on the way to school, almost halfway there, when Sayori started talking.

"So, will you come see the OLC today?" Sayori asked, trying to get Issei to come visit her club.

"I don't know the first thing about occult literature. There's no point."

"That's a lie, you always have your nose in some spooky book. Come on, it'll be fun! Plus, Monika wants to see you~." Sayori said, baiting the stalwart boy.

"M-Monika? Really? Why?" Issei asked, falling right into her trap.

"She remembers you from when you guys had a class together. She said you're smart, and you'd make a great addition to the OLC, no doubt about it."

"Well, I mean, I guess she's not wrong...I do like to read…" Issei said, weighing his options in an all new way.

Sayori grumbled to herself. While she had meant to sway Issei, she didn't think it would be as easy as mentioning Monika's name. It was no secret to her that Issei had a bit of a weak spot for Monika ever since they'd shared a class, and she exactly how to exploit it. The airheaded pinkette was a lot more clever than most people gave her credit for.

"See? So, just come on by for a minute after class. Natsuki is making cupcakes~."

"Isn't she the short one? With pink hair?"

"No, I'm the short one with pink hair."

"I mean...you're not wrong, but isn't she the shorter one with pinker hair?"

"Yep!"

"Right. So, she's making cupcakes, Monika wants to see me, and you want me to visit. Something sounds sketchy about all this. Don't you have one more member? Is she planning anything special?"

"Why'd you assume it's a she? It could be a guy."

"You've literally said before it's an only-girls club. Which is yet another reason why I don't want to join."

"It's only girls at the moment. It won't be all girls after you join, silly."

"...I can't argue that. But you didn't answer my question."

"Her name is Yuri, and she's not doing anything that I know about. But, she's just like you. You're both shy and brooding and love reading scary books, so I'm sure you'll hit it off!"

"You just described two people who would never, ever, hit it off. Shy people don't mesh well. But, I guess we'll see."

Sayori gasped. "Does that mean you'll come?"

Issei sighed, simultaneously looking forward to and dreading his decision. "Yes, I'll go. I don't know if I'll join, but I wouldn't mind seeing Mo-...getting a cupcake."

"Right, a cupcake. I'll tell Mo-...Natsuki that you're coming." Sayori said, nodding and mocking his slip-up.

"I already regret this."

"Don't be like that! Anyway...let's get a snack, before we get to school."

"You just ate breakfast!"

"Count Sayori's hunger knows no limits!"